Force Destiny

Moving Forward

But how was that fair? How could she hold hope in the greater good when such a tragic destiny had been bestowed upon a boy born with such a loving heart? He was doomed by his bloodlines before he took his first breath; he never had a chance. Even though the odds had been stacked against them from the beginning, they had found a way to save him. But the Force had stolen him from her anyway. Ben was supposed to be with her on their journey. She was supposed to have time to know the real him. They were supposed to have the rest of their lives together. They were never supposed to be alone again. But she was alone, and life moved forward without him.

She did not let her grief consume her, living a life worth living in his memory. The first planet she visited was Chandrila and the lake that they had known together in their dreams. It looked the same as it had in her dreams, though it wasn't as beautiful without him there. She visited every single planet he had shown her in the sky the night they spent under the stars. Most of the galaxy still knew him as the monster that was Kylo Ren, killed by the Jedi Resistance hero who had become a legend, a symbol of hope for the galaxy.

Rey found it difficult to hold her tongue when they told stories of the evil creature that had plagued the galaxy. They laughed at his death, and, if they recognized her, lauded her for killing him. She never made excuses for what he had done, only wished the galaxy knew him beyond the monster he once was. But she was cursed to be the only one left who knew the man behind the mask. It was a secret that festered in her soul. More than one altercation ended with the darkness overwhelming her enough to strike those with particularly sharp tongues with her staff or incapacitate them with the Force. It wasn't long before she heard whispers of the Jedi who loved a monster.

But on her travels away from the propaganda of the Core worlds, she also heard the myth of a man named Ben Solo, the son of legends, who helped the Jedi save the galaxy. Those who had heard the myth called him a hero for defeating the evil Kylo Ren. But none had heard the story of the fallen Jedi who fell in love with the scavenger from Jakku. Well, none had heard it until they met her.

She thought hearing the stories of Kylo Ren would be the worst part of living without him. But as time passed, the stories of Kylo Ren slowly faded, overshadowed by the true evil in the galaxy of Darth Vader or Sidious. Kylo Ren had suddenly become "not evil enough" in their eyes—none of his weapons destroyed star systems, he did not reign nearly ruthlessly or long enough to be feared decades later.

The First Order had fallen under his short command; it was a legacy not worth remembering. Even Armitage Hux was more infamous for his destruction of Hosnian Prime. There was no provocative information of the mysterious darksider, save for fascination and speculation, and slowly they all but forgot about him. Even the legend of the esoteric identity of the man called Ben Solo, who had materialized in the Battle of Ilum as an integral player in the destruction of the First Order, lost its intrigue over time with dwindling proof the man ever existed. The galaxy all but forgot him.

Though the galaxy forgot him, Rey found comfort in the people who had known him. She wished there was still a family member or friend who had known him his entire life she could talk to—Chewie, Han, Leia...even Luke, Dev, or Jacen—to have the chance to learn new memories of happier times. Without them, she had to be content in believing there had been happier times. But Finn was always there to listen when she needed him. He tried his best to keep his promise to Ben.

At first, it bothered Rey that they talked about him in the past tense. Her love for him was not past tense, and though he had died, her memory of him did not. It was just another reminder the galaxy had moved on without him. The platitudes bothered her more; she didn't want to hear about how he was "no longer suffering" or "in a better place." It was always kind things that they said to her face, reminding her that he gave his life to save the galaxy, and Rey tried to remind herself that it was meant with the best intentions. But she wondered if it truly mattered what was said about him if he wasn't there to hear it.