When Ice Breaks, When Gold Cracks

11 ~ Breaking Point

Finally, Aurum released a heavy sigh and combed his fingers through his matted hair, pushing it back from his face. "I told the goddess that you were too soft to leave the temple, that you wouldn't be able to do what needs to be done."

Out of the corner of Unda's eye, the ends of his sandy curls darkened, mirroring the sharp twist in his gut. "Then you—"

"But..." Aurum held up a hand, and Unda clamped his mouth shut. "I don't wish to demean you. It is not wrong to have a kind heart, Unda, and I depend on your ability to see, to feel, and to reason differently than me. However, you must learn to guard yourself. There are times when a hard heart is required, and if you cannot harden your own, you must trust me to make the right decision in your stead."

Unda swallowed hard, his insides cold and twisted as his magic began to leak again. His fingertips ached with frost as he curled them against his palms. "I didn't spare her only out of kindness," he whispered, fighting to bury his shame before it became too clear in his face. "The symbol on her back—the crest of the bear—I have memories of it. And I don't understand them. I know it sounds foolish, but I thought if I spared her, if I saw her again someday, she would be willing to answer my questions." He looked away and plucked at the grass beneath him, pulling his knees against his chest. "But the generals will find her and have her killed."

Aurum shifted. "I'm sure they will bring her in for questioning first. She might have information we could use." When Unda met his eye, he was beaming again, a smile as bright and golden as the sun. "When we return, you can ask her your questions."

"Are you certain?" Unda asked. Uncertainty wormed its way through him, eating away at everything in its path and leaving behind a cold trail. When he had been in the throne room to scry, the generals had agreed to kill Vivian and all her followers on sight. There would be no mercy if they got ahold of her, and there would certainly be no time for Unda's questions.

But Aurum ruffled Unda's hair and laughed slightly. "Of course," he said. "You'll get your answers. I'm certain the goddess wouldn't want you to be bothered by your missing past."

"Then why has she not told me anything? Why has she kept me in that little cage?"

"Unda, the temple isn't a cage—"

"Not for you. Not for Stellae, or Foliis, or Ignis." He swallowed thickly, forcing down the bile that rose in his throat. His head was still swimming with exhaustion. With fear now clouding the waters too, the air had begun thick and difficult to breathe, as if he were in a cage all over again. "I don't know anything truly. I'm never given the chance to learn. I am only allowed to watch through a window as the world falls apart in the distance. I couldn't even lie believably to Vivian because I don't know anything—I haven't truly seen anything!"

When Aurum didn't reply, the crackle of the fire filled the silence until it was stifling. Unda buried his face in his knees as the painful urge to cry arose. He pressed his lips into a thin line in an attempt to stop them from quivering. "I wasn't able to prove anything," he murmured, keeping his voice low to avoid the shake in it—or perhaps to avoid the chance that anyone other than Aurum might hear. "Except that Stellae was right. I should have stayed behind. I'm a liability to you, to the others. Ignis got hurt because of me."

Again, all Aurum did was laugh, leaning forward to put his elbows on his knees. "Everything worked out in the end. We got Vivian's scroll pieces and, more importantly, you've ensured her capture and defeat. Plus, we've got her sword." He gestured with the sweep of his arm to where it lay bound in cloth with Foliis's gear, still glowing blue but now with a more subdued hum. "She won't be as much of a threat without that, and you were able to convince her to tell you its secrets. That's a skill, and I regret not allowing you to use it on the human man."