Tyler says nothing, obviously taken aback by the veracity of Clancy's words. His opponent simply smiles again – it does seem like less of a smirk now – and taps the place next to him on the bed, inviting Tyler to sit at his sides.
Tyler hesitates. He's not afraid, not really. Not of Clancy anyway. But maybe he fears what he's going to learn after he sits down next to him. Maybe he fears that his whole belief system will crumble into pieces as it has already started doing. And what will be left of him when he's stripped of all his convictions? They're all he has!
"Come on, now," Clancy whispers kindly. And Tyler listens. The two men sit not too close from each other, but close enough for Tyler to smell him. He smells like sweat and something else. Something Tyler hasn't smelled in a long time. Like a scented shampoo or something. Like o u t s i d e.
"Is he dead?" Tyler asks after a while. His hands are sweaty and he plays nervously with his fingers. Does he really want to know that?
"I'm not sure. Nobody really knows what happens when the Bishops get you. But it's probable."
"What do you know then? And why didn't you save him if you knew there was a chance-"
"Tyler, don't. You're just as guilty as I am."
"Wh-what? What do you mean?" Tyler frowns, feeling the anger boil again in his stomach, despite the stone that has just sunk into it at the thought of Riko being... Clancy has no right to put the blame on me, Tyler thinks. At least he did try to do something.
"Where do you think that clock came from, Tyler? It wasn't mine. And it wasn't Riko's either, am I wrong? And that petal? You saw it too, didn't you?"
"I-"
"Weren't they yours, Tyler?"
"I don't-" Tyler lets out, but he can't breathe. His elbows on his knees, hand between his hands, he tries to remember. The clock. The petal. They seemed familiar, Clancy wasn't wrong. Tyler isn't sure they were his, properly speaking, but he sure has something to do with it. And this doesn't feel right. There's already too much information to handle, but Clancy stands up from the bed and continues, pacing the room.
"Now as for you first question, what do I know? I know Riko was an outsider. More than that, a Bandito."
"A wh-"
"I am too. And it looks like you might be one of us, Tyler."
The boy looks up, unable to comprehend any of the words that were just spoken. Outsider ? Weren't they all outsiders ? They all came from someplace else, didn't they? And Bandito? How can Tyler be one if he doesn't even know what that is?
"There are many other things you need to know, Tyler. But this place isn't safe. Meet me at the Wall tomorrow night. »
« The Wall ? D'you know how big-"
"You just need to follow the music, Tyler."
Their eyes cross right then, and something passes between them. Tyler feels it in the way his heart skips a beat and his breath catches in his throat. The music. Clancy knows about the music. What if... But Tyler's thoughts are stopped dead in their tracks as Clancy opens the door and motions for him to get out.
"Go get some sleep. Act as usual tomorrow. And listen at nightfall. Listen carefully."
Tyler nods and, as if in a trance, leaves Clancy's room for his own. And when he's finally inside, Tyler reaches into the pocket of his trousers. The petal in his hand, he goes for the first drawer of the desk and slowly opens it. He fears what he's about to find, but he does it anyway. He has to.
When it is fully opened, Tyler knows he won't be able to sleep. With a shivering hand, he places the petal he caught earlier in the drawer, amongst a dozen others and the little piece of paper he found the other day. They're all y e l l o w.
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Author's note
How's everyone handling this pandemic? Hope you're staying home and washing your hands. Obviously I'm home and writing what I should have written months ago! Please let me know if you're still there and what you think of this story, I really really appreciate any comments and criticism! And while we're still confined, I'll try to update this regularly, as well as my two other ongoing stories, who knows!
