Unexpected | ??

24- Trouble

"Jeez," he commented like I was overreacting. I rolled my eyes and continued eating, ignoring his amused stare. Luckily I wasn't the type to get self-conscious when someone watched me eat. 

Uncomfortable, yes. But not self-conscious.

"So, you're saying you don't want a relationship?" He wiped the corner of his mouth with a napkin and closed his empty sandwich box, putting it back on the tray. 

"No, I just think we shouldn't jump into things," I narrowed my eyes at him. Was he not listening to a word I said? "I mean, I'm just getting over a four-year-long crush."

Hurt flashed in his eyes but he quickly covered it. "So what're you saying?"

"I just need a little time," I admitted. "Time to gain some self-respect. I really threw my whole personality out of the window when it came to him. I don't want to do that again." Plus I need to make sure you aren't a rebound...

"I wouldn't do that to you."

"I know," I reassuringly smiled and grabbed his hand from across the table. "It wasn't something he did though, it was me. I changed myself for him. I just need to spend some alone time and... validate my feelings." 

He slowly nodded as he processed my words. "So... not dating?"

"No."

"Single?"

"Yes." I hesitated before speaking again. "And look, I don't expect you to wait for me either." I definitely didn't want him to date other girls, but it would be incredibly selfish for me to keep him to myself.

He opened his mouth to speak, but an employee came by to ask if we needed anything. Dean looked annoyed but I stayed polite, thanking him. He took our trays and I felt like we would be loitering if we stayed any longer. 

I gestured toward the door and he took the hint, sliding out of the booth. I wanted to ask what he was going to say earlier, but part of me didn't want to know. Even though I told him it was okay, my heart would shatter if he wanted to move on. It was selfish, I know.

So, it was better to be oblivious.

I expectantly held out my hand for my keys, but he assumed my offer still stood and walked to the driver's seat. 

Throughout the whole car ride, he kept both hands on the wheel, gripping so tightly his knuckles were white. I stared out the window, watching life move on. It was pretty empty outside, beside a few cars. Kids were in school and most adults were probably out working.

In the silence, I pulled out my phone. My eyes widened when I saw I had a lot of texts, all from Jasmine.

Jaz: Girl, where'd you go?

Jaz: Dudeeeeee you're gonna be in so much trouble

Jaz: Will you be back at school? Don't you have that physics exam?

"Crap!" I yelled in frustration. Dean gave me a curious look before focusing on the road. "I have a test. I have to go back."

He looked disappointed, but there wasn't much he could do. I didn't have an excused absence, so I wouldn't be able to make it up. The idea of going back made me uneasy. Skipping was one thing, but going back? It just seemed pointless. If you were gonna skip, you might as well have committed to the full day. 

The bland building pulled into view and I scrunched my face. I really didn't want to be here anymore. Stupid physics exam.

The bell dismissing class rang and we took that as our chance to sneak back in and blend with the crowd. It wasn't weird to skip a couple classes, but it was for me. I tried to have a spotless record so I'd be more attractive to potential colleges. 

I was surprised that Dean decided to stay. He didn't have any reason to, so why wouldn't he just leave?

He seemed different since our talk and it was beginning to worry me. Although I said I didn't mind him being with other girls, I was worried he was genuinely considering it. 

Gosh, why did I have to suggest it?

I awkwardly waved and headed toward chemistry. I didn't have physics until after lunch so I could cram a little longer. 

Every single free moment was spent studying.

~~~

"What?" Jaz yelled, her voice echoing throughout my car. I flinched at the volume, regretting even telling her anything.

The five of us (Dylan, Jaz, Will, Emma, and I) were sitting in my car after school. Since I wasn't able to talk during lunch, this was the perfect time to catch them up. I wasn't planning on stopping by Mr. Cullen's room anytime soon, so this would have to do. 

I was on a time crunch though. Both guys had to meet up with their teams for practice.

"Wait, you're telling me, you went through all that to friendzone him?" Will asked, poking his head between the seats. 

"No," I furrowed my brows, twisting in my seat so I could see all their faces. "I just said I need to work on myself before jumping into a relationship..."

"That's friend-zoning."

"Quit it," Emma lightly hit her boyfriend's arm, making him shut up. "I think it's great she's not jumping into another relationship. She basically just got over her undying love for Andrew."

Dylan nodded in agreement, even though I doubt her reasoning was it. He made it very clear that he didn't want me near any boys. I think he took the protective brother role to a whole other level.

Jaz gave the most judging look ever. "No, you buffoons. Her love for Andrew wasn't even real."

"Listen, I don't know about that, but I definitely think she needs to gain some self-respect. She slaved over Drew for as long as I can remember. Do you really want her to do that with Dean too?" Dylan remarked.

"I don't know... She clearly likes him," Emma said thoughtfully.

I pursed my lips. "Do I though? What if the only reason I like him is because I need to focus on another boy now that Drew's out of my life? Like a rebound." 

They all contemplated my response. 

"It makes sense," Will finally broke the silence. I gave him an appreciative smile and waited for the rest of them to voice their opinions.

One by one, they nodded in agreement. Some were more skeptical than others, but it didn't matter. Ultimately the choice was mine and it's what I believed was important.

"So you'll just be okay if he moves on?" Jaz asked the question that we were all thinking deep down. 

I pursed my lips. "No idea." 

They all gave me sympathetic smiles before their vision redirected to someone outside. I turned to look at what they were staring at. Andrew was walking toward the car with a blank expression.

"I think he's here to call me to practice," Dylan sighed. "Love you Bells, see you later." He climbed out of the car before the enemy made it, sparing us an awkward encounter. 

Will made his way to the opposite door. "Yeah, I need to head out too. Bye," he kissed Emma and closed the door behind him.

"You're an idiot Arabella Wilks," Jaz huffed, but she hid a smile. Before I knew it, all three of us broke out into laughter. 

At least I knew my friends would always be there for me, dumb choices or not.