Hate Me

?Broken?

It just makes me wonder why led me on if you didn't feel the same? Why all those acts of jealousy when I got too close to other boys?

It's something between us both as we never let anyone see us or understand the little games we play with each other. Like what I did to Nathaniel on the bus... And he to Silvia and other girls.

It was a game plan and the end goal was to crush, hurt, and embarrass me?

I am drawn out of my Reverie by Faith's voice;

" What are you thinking girl? You didn't even hear us coming. " Faith asks and states.

"I guess I was just thinking about football," I reply with a smirk and look up at her.

She takes one look at my eyes and despite the darkness, she knows something is wrong. What a best friend.

She and Edna sit on both sides

"Jade, are you alright? "she asks me.

"Sure... Why are you asking? "I reply whilst looking into the darkness far ahead.

"Well for one you are talking strange and your eyes are glossy. You have been crying. "She states

"I'm cool babe... I'm just in my feelings." I lie.

For some reason, I don't feel like telling her what just happened today. I can feel the heat in my chest... And I feel a wall of tears build up in my eyes.

They know I am not alright and not willing to talk so Edna pulls me into A tight, warm polar bear hug. She is quite huge so she is the perfect cuddle buddy.

I let my guard down and I just let the tears flow. My sobs are audible.

"Darling, are you truly okay? " Edna questions.

"Yh I am. " I replied between sobs.

"You know your crying right? "Faith questions more like she's stating.

"Yh... I do... I am just glad I've got great friends like you guys." I reply.

I didn't tell a lie, I am indeed grateful to God for bringing them into my life. That's why I am crying... Coupled with what Victor just did to me.

"Aww. " Faith replies and joins mine and Edna's cuddle. Making it a group hug.

After a few minutes of endless rambles from all three of us, we decide it's getting cold and we should get going into our hostel.

As we are walking, we are almost at our hostel when I sight Victor's gang.

Silvia isn't there. Probably sleeping In her room already. Victor is talking before he sights me. He takes a brief pause but keeps talking as though didn't see me.

Our eyes meet and we do not break eye contact. Even after we have passed him, I still turn around to look at him and he is still staring at me.

The lights at the entrance of the hostel are very bright so he must have seen my eyes and known I was crying.

Faith, Edana, and I reach our room and I head for the bathroom to take a shower.

I love water to the point that it somehow helps wash some of my pain and lift some of my problems.

While in the shower, I think about the night and all Victor said.

Just like there was a recorder in my head when he said it, his words flood my mind over and over and just keeps coming.

I thank God I did not have an attack when he told me this.

It would be the most embarrassing moment of my life if I collapsed and started gasping for air in front of my crush after told me he feels nothing for me.