FREAKING OUT ? ? spencer reid

XV

"Spencer?"

"Yeah?"

"What's happening right now?" The quickened heartbeat I once had was almost nonexistent. My whole body felt tight. I pushed my shoulders up against the backing of the bed, pushing my chest out at a ridiculous attempt to restart my erratic pulse. When I did that though, I felt his gaze move to my chest again. I blinked curiously, narrowing my eyes as he moved his head into the crook of my neck and kissed my collarbone. At that point I had no idea what to do. I tried my best to breathe; doing the classic in through the nose out through the mouth routine, before eventually giving up and pressing my lips together.

When he pulled he away he sighed, "I don't know." His once tender expression transitioned into a more confused one, his eyebrows knitting together as he peeled his body away from mine and sat completely upright. He let out a heavy breath and placed his hand carefully on my thigh. He ran his fingers along the skin lightly, glancing down to watch the goosebumps form.

"That doesn't really answer my question," I retorted.

"I, uh," he cleared his throat, "I don't know how to explain how I'm feeling right now."

"Horny?" I smirked.

He snorted, nodding his head slightly. "I mean, yeah, I guess. I just... I want you to feel good, you know?"

"Not really," I responded.

He released my thigh, letting out a groan as he brought his hands to his face to cover his eyes. He took a couple of deep breaths, throwing his head back against the bed as he pushed his hands into the roots of his hair and grabbed them. "I just want you to feel loved."

"I do feel loved."

He shook his head. "No, not like loved, more like loved, like-"

"You're literally making no sense right now." I laughed.

He groaned again, closing his eyes in frustration. Never in my life had I ever thought I'd see him like his. He seemed so flustered, like his brain had suddenly decided that this was the perfect time for a reboot. As he sat, I stared at his chest, watching it rise and fall as he took a couple more deep breaths to calm himself down.

"Take your time, doc," I responded sarcastically. I brought my hand to his shoulder, giving it a tight squeeze, "it's not like I'm going anywhere."

He snorted again, turning his head to give me an unimpressed look.

"What's that look for?"

He rolled his eyes, holding back a smile.

"Oh, my god, what is up with you right now?" I laughed nervously, shoving his shoulder away.

"I want to have sex with you," he blurted out. As he said it I felt my stomach do a somersault. Somehow even after he said I it it felt like a lie. Reid wasn't the kind of person to come out and say exactly what he wanted. He was more subtle than that; always throwing quick side comments and jokes into the air.

"Sex?"

"Yes."

"With me?"

"Yes."

"Right now?"

He rolled his eyes again. "Yes. Can you please stop acting like it's a big surprise?"

"It is a surprise," I stated.

"It really isn't," he argued, "did you know that over eighty percent of couples who break up end up having sex again?"