Always There

Chapter Ninety

I somehow am suddenly on my back, my head resting on one of the pillows on my bed with Bryce kneeling in between my thighs. I hook my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck, holding him down to me as tightly as possible.

Bryce's hands are still tangled in my hair but he now has his forearms pressed against the mattress beside my head, presumably because he's trying to keep most of his weight off of me. I sort of love having his whole body on top of me though, because even though he's kind of crushing me, I love how safe I feel underneath him.

Bryce gives my hair a fierce tug and I gasp against his mouth once again. This gives him an opportunity to pull away from me, finally breaking our kiss, and I immediately notice that he has the cockiest smile on his face that I've ever seen.

He's breathing heavily, though, and no cocky smile is able to hide that.

I feel myself smiling a little bit too, because I love to know that I'm able to affect him just as much as he is able to affect me.

Well, saying that he's "affecting me" right now would be a terrible understatement. My heart is racing so fast that it can't possibly be normal, and my breathing is so laboured that it feels as though I just ran a marathon. I feel butterflies fluttering in my stomach, but I also feel this bizarre, achy, tingly feeling in my lower abdomen and my inner thighs.

My legs are wrapped firmly around Bryce's torso, and yet I suddenly feel the strange need to squeeze my thighs together.

Oh.

Bryce slowly untangles his hands from my hair, and he instead wraps his arms around my waist. He then puts just a little bit more of his weight on me, his whole body settling over mine as he rests his head beside mine on the pillow.

He gently kisses my neck, just for a second, and yet I have to try so incredibly hard to stop the shiver threatening to run down my spine.

"You okay, Blossom? I'm sorry for kissing you. You could've stopped me, you know. I'll always stop if you ask me to," Bryce whispers, his lips still lingering against the skin of my neck.

This time, I actually do shudder.

"No. It's okay. It's more than okay. I really liked that. I always like kissing you. It makes me very very happy," I whisper back.

Bryce kisses me again, but this time he kisses the underside of my jaw. "Okay. Thank fucking God. What's wrong, then?"

I sigh, shutting my eyes, trying to work up the courage to say my question aloud.

It takes me some time, but eventually, I'm able to ask, "Bryce? Why haven't we had sex since we broke up? We kiss all the time and we sleep naked together at night, but we still haven't had sex. Why?"

Bryce hugs me just a little tighter to him, but apart from that, he remains silent for awhile.

And then, he says, "Uh . . . It's not because I don't want to have sex with you. Please don't think that's the reason, because Jesus fucking Christ, I want to have sex with you. So fucking badly. Our breakup hasn't diminished my attraction to you whatsoever, habibti. It's just that I remember how, back in high school, you said that you were waiting to have sex until you found the right person. And I just don't think I'm the right person for you anymore."

I haven't opened my eyes since I closed them a few moments ago, and yet I still find myself squeezing my eyes shut even harder.

"I want to have sex with you so badly, Bryce," I eventually whisper.

I feel Bryce's broad shoulders tense under my hands.

And then he says, "Maybe we should have sex then. I mean, do you really want to sleep in a bed that we have christened?"