? if i let you go 「 khunbam 」

1:1

“Why are you really here, Rachel?” he asked emotionlessly, but his ears were still ringing due to the loud beating of his heart.

“Bam, I'm sorry...”

Bam's brow raised. “For what?”

deo baralge eopneundeuthan neukkim
(The feeling of not wanting anything more)

“Everything,” Rachel mumbled, cupping his hands with hers as she looked at him with her tearstained face. “I still love you, Bam.”

Bam couldn't help but scoff, letting out a low, mocking laugh as he leaned his back on the corridor's wall. Great, this day just got better.

ojik neomani judeon sungandeul
(Moments that only you gave)

“Wow,” he said. “The audacity. Are you messing with me right now?”

“I'm sorry, but I told you right? I can't be in a relationship right now,” Rachel said looking sadly at the cold, hard ground.

Bam suddenly had the urge to punch something really, really hard. He has not felt this frustrated in a long time, and it's making him feel like a terrible person.

da da
(Everything, everything)

“You should've thought about that when you decided to commit yourself into one.”

“I know,” she sobbed. “I'm sorry I just realized what went wrong, what I did wrong. I'm really sorry, Bam,” Rachel cried out, her tears pouring.

“Don't you dare call my name lovingly like you mean it! We don't have anything between us anymore.”

“You know I can't make you my priority, Bam. I have other things to do and think about, that I'm afraid to face you because I feel like I don't have time for you anymore.”

jinatjiman
(Everything has passed)

neon neomu yeppeosseo
(But you were so pretty)

Bam looked at her incredulously, the buried his face with his palms as he inhaled sharply.

“Rachel, I have obligations I need to do, too. I have classes to attend to, a part-time job, a family to look after, friends to hang out with, but I always put you as my first priority! You can't do that, and I never asked you to!” he faced her with complex emotions. “You know what your problem is? It's that your leeway would always be to get away from me, and I'm sick of that!”

“I'm sorry if I can't give you the love you needed, that you deserved,” Rachel continued.

“What I deserve? I don't even know what I deserve anymore, because you always make me feel like I don't deserve anything! Like I'm below you!” Bam held back the tears that threatened to fall. If his friends were here, they would tell him that he shouldn't waste his tears for something so trivial.

But Rachel wasn't trivial. And he wished she was, or else it wouldn't hurt this bad. Everything was always about her, it should always be Rachel, or nobody else at all. And he's just so sick of it.

“Bam, I love you, but you can't own me. I can't make you my world.”

Bam almost uncharacteristically cursed. He's so tired of this happening every single time. “Then why did you even come here when you don't have anything good to say? To rub it in my face that I'm nothing without you? Well congratulations, you did it. Now, go away and leave me alone, Rachel.”