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REINER: A carousel.

SUBJECT: Right. That thing. It's where the organ music is coming from.

REINER: Were you there alone?

SUBJECT: No. There's other kids with me. They're not happy to be there, either. We're all smiling and laughing, but we're just doing it to stop ourselves from crying, y'know? To fool the trees. So the trees don't see how scared we are. To keep the trees happy.

REINER: Keep them happy?

SUBJECT: Yeah.

REINER: Is there anything else you can tell us?

SUBJECT: Um, fuck. I don't know. I haven't dreamed about this place in ages. Uh, I think... There's one bit, near the end.

REINER: Please, relax. Take as much time as you need.

[Subject closes his eyes.]

SUBJECT: Just as I'm getting ready to leave, I see something. A tiny tree, sprouting up near my foot. It looks up at me. It's smiling, smiling with that big, dopey, happy grin. When I see it, that's when I start screaming. That's when I wake up.

REINER: Why does that tree make you scream?

[Subject opens his eyes.]

SUBJECT: Because it has my face.

[END LOG.]

INTERVIEW LOG

DATE: 2003/02/09
INTERVIEWER: Dr. Reiner
SUBJECT: Janine Yearling

[BEGIN LOG.]

REINER: Did you ever ride the carousel?

SUBJECT: What? Hell no. Are you crazy?

REINER: What happened when you reached it, then?

SUBJECT: Some of the kids got on. Not me, though. The ones who did — some of them were smiling, some of them were crying. Some of them hugged the ones who didn't get on. Some of them hugged each other.

REINER: What happened then?

SUBJECT: They rode the carousel. Then we left.

REINER: What happened to them?

SUBJECT: (irritated) How should I know? We left.

REINER: You left them behind?

SUBJECT: (increasingly irritated) Yes, we left them behind. What, you think we should have stuck around? See how this was all going to turn out?

REINER: I'm sorry. I didn't mean to accuse you of anything. You were just a child. No one would have expected you to—

SUBJECT: That's right, I was just a goddamn child in the middle of a goddamn nightmare, and I — I just —

[Subject shakes her head.]

SUBJECT: I just, you have no idea what even talking about this is doing to me, or how it's making me feel. I don't want to talk about it. I just want to forget it. Why can't you just let us — let us —

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