SCP Foundation: Entries

SCP-2030

Thorough investigations into the deaths of SCP-2030 participants have revealed a number of inconsistencies and contradictions in matters concerning the circumstances of the deaths. Additionally, exhumations of the individuals' remains have revealed that all recorded participants' bodies are currently missing. The general consensus among researchers assigned to SCP-2030 is that victims are likely abducted after their use in the show, with their disappearances covered up when possible. However, no concrete evidence connecting the individuals' deaths with SCP-2030 besides the show's footage has yet been found.

Addendum: The following are examples of pranks featured on the program.

Season: 24 (2000)
Episode theme: Swelling
Individuals involved: Macey Gersham and Kyle Parker – killed by a hit-and-run driver on 09/18/00.
Scene description: An elderly woman sits on a park bench, feeding nearby pigeons with seed from a bag. Gersham and Parker, a couple, walk down a park path and approach the woman. Once the two come within approximately 1.5 meters of the elderly woman, a swarm of pigeons fly into the elderly woman's mouth, causing her stomach to become severely engorged and quickly rupture. The couple express great distress at the event until SCP-2030-1 emerges from the elderly woman's open stomach cavity, at which point Gersham and Parker appear relieved.

Season: 21 (1997)
Episode theme: Margaret Thatcher
Individuals involved: Doris Carter – died of ovarian cancer 02/24/97.
Scene description: Mrs. Carter walks into her kitchen and opens a cabinet door, out of which falls a large mass of flesh. As Carter screams, the mass grows and shapes itself into a severely disproportional facsimile of former Prime Minister of the United Kingdom Margaret Thatcher, with its head twice as large as its torso. Carter rushes to leave the room, but the Thatcher creature leaps onto her before she can escape. It extends its tongue into the woman's open mouth, and Thatcher faces of various sizes begin appearing across Carter's skin. The faces proceed to recite Thatcher's April 1986 speech on the bombing of Libya in perfect unison. SCP-2030-1 climbs out of a nearby cupboard and points to the hidden cameras; Mrs. Carter smiles, the creature's tongue still extended down her throat.

Season: 13 (1989)
Episode theme: Squirrels
Individuals involved: Melissa and Travis Englund – disappeared, last seen 05/12/89.
Scene description: Mrs. Englund lies in bed next to a male figure, presumably Mr. Englund. A series of high-pitched squeaking noises are heard, and Mrs. Englund is awakened. She tells her husband to wake up, but he does not respond. She places her hand on his shoulder, but quickly draws it back with a shriek. His skin begins to undulate, as though something is moving underneath. A multitude of squirrels then burst from various places on his body, quickly filling the bed and crawling onto the woman. She rises to leave the room, but SCP-2030-1 walks in and turns on the light. He is accompanied by Mr. Englund, who has been skinned from head to foot but gives no indication of feeling any discomfort. All three share a laugh and the segment ends.

Season: 13 (1989)
Episode theme: Tracheotomies
Individuals involved: Gary Turman, Lindsay Turman, and their children – died in a vehicular accident on 04/28/89.
Scene description: The four sit around a dinner table eating a meal. Mr. Turman begins coughing and gasping for air, as if choking. As the others at the table begin to panic, a pair of slits appear on Turman's throat, allowing him to breathe. These slits quickly become nostrils, which rapidly grow into a full nose, which in turn becomes an entire second head, identical to Turman's original. This second head then sprouts a neck of its own, and the entire process repeats. This continues until eighteen necks and heads have sprouted from the original, at which point SCP-2030-1 steps out from underneath the table. Everyone present erupts into raucous laughter, including all nineteen of Mr. Turman's heads.

Season: 37 (2013)
Episode theme: Cephalopods
Individuals involved: Rebecca Nash (surgeons unidentified) – died of complications in child delivery on 11/02/13; hospital records show no evidence of anomalous activity during birth.
Scene description: A team of obstetricians perform a caesarian section procedure on Ms. Nash, who is in labor. The team comment on the size of the child's cranium and the amount of hair present on it. Several minutes into the procedure, a doctor makes an exclamation of surprise and drops an instrument on the floor. Muffled vocalizations can be heard in the background. The rest of the staff begin to panic as the head emerges unassisted from Nash, causing her a great deal of pain. The child's head can be seen to resemble that of American television presenter Ryan Seacrest. The child sings Row, Row, Row Your Boat in a female voice as it continues to exit the mother.

As more of its form emerges, the child can be seen to have the body of a fully grown octopus (Octopus vulgaris). Once the child fully exits Nash's body, it continues to sing as another head begins to emerge. Three more children are produced in total, with the heads of celebrities Jack Nicholson (American film actor), Johnny Cash (American singer-songwriter), and Martin Freeman (British film actor), respectively, all with similar octopus bodies. Together, the four sing Row Row Row Your Boat in four part harmony. SCP-2030-1 walks into the room and the show's jingle plays. SCP-2030-1 points to the hidden cameras in the room, prompting the obstetricians and Nash to begin laughing. The creatures on Nash's torso continue to sing. Nash then loses consciousness, presumably from blood loss.

The following is a transcription of a typical speech delivered by SCP-2030-1 during one of the show's closing segments:

Season: 32 (2008)
Episode theme: Printers
Transcription: Ha! What a ride, eh, folks? We've seen printers that eat, eaters that print, and in between! Makes you appreciate the old clunker you have back the office, doesn't it? No, printers may not always work when you want or need them to, but they sure make for some excellent comedy. And that's what we're about here: comedy. We're here to make you laugh. We hope you laughed. Thank you for laughing with us. That's what we're about here, doesn't it, folks? Come laugh with us again next time! And remember: LAUGH ... IS ... FUN! Good night! And laugh! And laugh! Just laugh! We love the make laugh. Make more for laughter so as to for laugh. Laugh with us. Laugh with us. (Studio audience joins in unison) Laugh with us! Laugh with us! Laugh with us! Laugh with us! Laugh! Laugh! Laugh and let us in!
Note: Video cuts off abruptly and a black screen is displayed for thirty seconds. Laughter and soft, wet noises can be heard in the background before the program