The Toxic Wasters

19. Castle on a Cloud

His mother came rushing in, breathing heavy and eyes frantic as she searched for her child's offender. But she saw nothing. So she climbed into his bed to comfort him, stroking his nest of hair and soothingly humming a Beatles' song Levi never learned the name of. And his heartbeat slowed.

But the moment was ruined by his father appearing at the doorway. Levi's heart rate spiked again as his mother's hold on him tightened. He did nothing but watch the two in their embrace with a beer in his hand. He was drunk, no question about it. And Levi waited with bated breath, praying he wouldn't take another step closer.

His father left with an annoyed sigh and mumbled something about wishing for a miscarriage. But Levi sighed with relief as he tightened his hold on his mother, burrowing his head into her shoulder.

"What happened?" she whispered.

Levi felt his tears and snot being smeared along his mother's night gown.

"There was a monster," Levi sniffled.

She kissed his temple and soothingly rubbed his back. "It was just a dream," she responded. "There's nothing to be scared of."

Levi pulled away from his mother to look into her eyes. "But I wasn't dreaming, I was awake."

He pointed to the corner of the room where the monster appeared, "It was right there... something with red eyes."

Her gaze became worrisome as Levi recounted what he saw. But she soothingly combed through his hair, which was just like her's and mumbled, "Let's sleep, and tomorrow we'll talk about what you saw."

"You'll stay?" Levi questioned.

"I wouldn't want to be anywhere else."

The next morning, Levi once again told his mother what he saw, swearing he was not dreaming. And she took immediate concern. So they booked a therapy appointment, giving Levi a day off from his tormentors at school.

His first therapist session was nerve-wracking, and he clung on to his mother. Most questions were answered by her, some were fabrications of the truth. She told the therapist she was a single mother raising Levi by herself; that Levi's only tormentors were his school bullies. Levi knew they were all lies, but he followed along. His father was never mentioned and he blamed every problem on his peers and teachers.

His therapist diagnosed him with early signs of schizophrenia. It was a word that made his mother pale in an instant. But Levi didn't understand the weight of that word. Didn't understand his mind was on a consistent decline. Didn't understand he was damaged goods. But when he saw his mother crying later that night, he knew nothing good would come of it.

As days turned into months and months turned into years, Levi realized just how much worse his life became. To avoid potential episodes— as his therapist called them— his teachers and principal were made aware of his situation. With the rate of faculty's gossip, word eventually made its way back to his peers. His bullies had another reason to torture him. Even his teachers turned the cheek when students tormented him. He became even more of an outsider.

His father's abuse worsened for Levi and his mother. Money was disappearing rapidly and he lashed out on the two because of their low amount of income. Kuchel always convinced him the money disappeared due to his bar nights with his friends and his gambling. So their secret was never discovered, but the back of his father's hand became more difficult to endure.

By the time Levi entered high school, he pretended as if his schizophrenia no longer bothered him. He told his mother he no longer needed therapy sessions. She no longer needed to pay for them. She no longer needed to be beaten for her son's mental stability. From then on, if Levi saw his red-eyed monster, he kept his mouth shut. His mother deserved peace, she deserved a break.