The World That Was Mine (Part I & II)

VII

They have all grown up together for 12 years. 12 years that I wasn't here. 12 years that I was trying to survive while they were here laughing about a football game. I couldn't help the bitterness that was set in me. It was so unfair.

But life is unfair. No one asked me if I wanted to deal with everything I've had to, I just did it. No one asked because no one cared. No one asked because my problems did not make me special. So there I sat, like the ghost I am.

Silent with an air of tragedy.

THE WORLD THAT WAS MINE

Material fears can be deceiving. We chose to use those fears as excuses to not deal with what really frightens us. We fear spiders not for the many legs but for their ability to hide. Their ability to go places we can't see and strike when we're least expecting it. I don't fear storms for the physical aspects like rain or lightning, but for what it conceals. What can happen when the rain blurs and the lighting distracts. I sat against the headboard, trying to drown out the sound of the roaring thunder.

The rain pelted against the window in a steady beat that taunted me. Called me childish and weak for being afraid of something trivial as a storm. Another clap of thunder made me jump as I struggled to calm my rapid breathing. Fear was not usual for me. I was afraid of very few things. But for some reason since I was small, thunder and lighting have always unnerved me. My knees were pushed against my chest protectively and my eyes were clenched shut. As if either of those things would keep me safe.

I was sure everyone else was sound asleep by now, given that it was close to 4 AM and I didn't want to wake anyone up with my childish fears. "Izzy." I flinched away when a hand landed on my knee. I was on edge and jumpy, and the sudden contact only inflamed that. With heavy breathing I looked up at Finley with wide eyes. His brow was furrowed in concern as he took in my stiff demeanor.

"Are you okay?" He asked sitting by my feet. I gave a slow, shaky nod, my pride standing in the way of me being honest. "Are you sure?" It was obvious I was not okay but I think he recognized that I would never admit that to him. "Y-yeah I'm f-fine." I whispered resting my chin on my knees. Finley studied me for a second longer as if trying to solve a question.

"Wanna come down stairs with me and watch a movie?" He was taking pity on me. I didn't need pity. I didn't need anything at all. "Finley, I'm okay. Really." I reassured him by trying to steady my voice. "Who said anything about you not being okay? I just want to watch a movie with you." In the dim lighting I could see a small smile on his lips. I supposed if he just wanted someone to watch a movie with him it wasn't pity. It couldn't hurt to not be alone for a little while. "O-oh o-okay." I stammered sliding off the bed carefully. I followed Finley down the stairs until I could see the blue light of the TV shining against the opposite wall. I was surprised to see Logan sitting on the couch when we entered the living room.

"Found another night owl." Finley guided me with a hand on my back and sat me down beside Logan. "Hey Iz, what're you doing up?" Logan asked, slinging an arm around my shoulders. I shrugged sheepishly. "Couldn't sleep." I mumbled embarrassed about my babyish fear. Logan looked up at Finley who mumbled something along the lines of 'I'll tell you later' to which Logan nodded and shifted me so I was sitting comfortably, leaning into his side.

In the first few moments of that I was uncomfortable and stiff but I soon realized he wasn't letting go so I allowed myself to relax slightly. The physical touch was different but I didn't mind it. Logan's strong arm around my shoulders gave me an odd sense of security. "We're watching Avengers if you're up for it?" Logan said clicking something on the TV.

"Uh sure." I didn't mention that I had no idea what that was or how little I knew about TV in general but given how shaky I was still feeling, any distraction was welcome at the moment. "W-why are up?" I asked quietly when Finley went to make popcorn leaving me and my other brother waiting for him. "Me and Fin like to watch movies when everyone else is asleep so no one will interrupt us." He explained with a small smile. "Also no one can complain about what we put on when they're asleep." Finley chuckled, putting a bowl of popcorn down on the coffee table.

"So you do this often?" I looked between the 2 boys who looked back at me with amusement laced in their faces. "Probably once a week at the most." Logan shrugged. "Sometimes Nolan or Henry'll join us but usually it's just me and Logy bear." Finley teased earning a hard glare from his older brother. "But we're always happy to have a guest with us." Logan said, pulling me closer. I smiled softly grateful that these boys are being so receptive to me. "Alright, movie time." Finley rubbed his hands together in anticipation as Logan clicked on the play button.

As the movie started rolling, I found myself more and more engrossed in the action and drama. I had never seen anything like this. TV wasn't a very prominent aspect in my childhood, but when I did  watch anything, it was usually soap operas with my neighbor or the occasional classic Disney movie. Marley always loved the little mermaid, saying that they had the same hair so when I went to her house very often we would put on that movie and just spend time in the quiet peace of watching it. But nothing I had ever watched resembled the exhilaration of the Avengers.

I was so focused, I barely noticed myself slowly losing consciousness, succumbing to sleep. I found myself laying my head down in Logan's lap as he mindlessly ran his fingers through my hair. Just as I was about to totally drift off, I heard them start talking. "She's pretty adorable when she's asleep." Logan whispered, his fingers still raking through my hair. "Yeah." Finley agreed. I could imagine the smile on his face as he watched us but I was too tired to open my eyes and see.

"So why was she up?" Logan shifted me against him. I assume he's getting more comfortable. "I think it was the storm. Poor kid was literally shaking when I went up there." Finley sighed. "She's really quiet." Logan sounded concerned. "Too quiet." That was the last of the conversation I heard before I slipped into the sweet darkness of sleep.

The world isn't pretty or nice. It won't cradle you and tell you it's okay. It will drive you mad if you let it. But the luckiest of us will find a place in the world where the madness can't quite reach you. Where you're safe and protected.

Unfortunately, those are the kinds of places the world wants to destroy most.

A/N-A lot of people said Sundays so here it is! This is more of a filler chapter but I like it non the less. The next chapter she will be going shopping with Henry and Liam and that will most likely be posted next Sunday.

What do we think about the story as a whole? I would love some feed back from you guys :)

Last thing, my other 2 stories will have updates soon I'm just not sure when. Nevertheless will probably get an update within the next few days but Princess may be just a little bit longer of a wait so sorry about that.

Thanks so much for reading and voting everyone! It makes my day when people enjoy my writing!