Way Back Home

Chapter 11: Confessions

This time, Sungjae immediately responded by returning the hug with one hand while his other hand stroked the back of her neck. "Sooyoung-ah, you're suddenly turning into a drama queen after all our re-arranging, eh? I think we need to call Mr. Beer right now. Drinks at the rooftop? What do you think?" Sungjae asked, to which Joy responded with a nod.

Sungjae had always been sensitive towards Joy's feelings. He was happy that Joy was finally opening up especially to him, but little did he know that Joy actually had another agenda in mind that's why she agreed to a beer night.

Maybe tonight is the right time. Joy thought to herself.

———-
After a quick trip to the convenience store, Joy and Sungjae were now seated comfortably at the rooftop, each carrying a bottle of beer in their hand.

Joy decided to break the silence. "Oppa..."

"Hmm?"

"Have I ever made you happy?" Joy was fidgeting with her fingers. The universe knows how much courage she must have mustered just to ask that question, well partly thanks to alcohol, too. She was happy... but this thing with Sungjae -whatever it is... she's already desperate to know what it is.

I promise I won't cross the line if this isn't mutual.

Sungjae was taken aback. He kind of gets what Joy's question meant but he always has a problem with voicing his thoughts and feelings. He looked at Joy and sighed. How would he even begin?

Joy bit her lip. I guess it isn't mutual.

"Sooyoung-ah..."

"It's okay Oppa" Joy interrupted Sungjae. "I know you're so bad at words. That's why I even made your introduction in your app! You take advantage of me too much, huh?" Joy tried to joke to ease the pang of pain she was already feeling in her chest.

"Sooyoung-ah... please listen first" Sungjae sighed. He tilted Joy's face so they can meet eye to eye.

"Before you came, I was in this black hole, you know? On the outside, I tried my best to look okay but deep inside I was crushed. I looked down at myself. I questioned myself everyday why Sohyun left me when I did my best to give everything to her"

Sungjae paused a while to have another drink from his bottle. Joy could see nothing but pain in his eyes.

SoHyun... of course. You still love her.

Sungjae clicked his tongue. "We were childhood best friends. As time passed, I just fell in love with her. She was known to be shy and sweet, but she was actually a free spirit. She knows me the most, and vice versa. But everything changed when we went to college. I did business and she did fashion design. Obviously, she would have a new set of friends. I don't know but one day she just... changed. We used to love going to the sunsets, but then she just wanted to go to the malls. We used to enjoy stay-at-home bondings, but then she said it was boring. I tried adjusting to her wants... I really did. I just wanted her happy. But one day she just left without saying goodbye" Sungjae was now sobbing. He had kept these emotions to himself for so long as he didn't want to bother anyone. He would just usually drown himself in alcohol to numb the pain. Today, he lets loose.

Joy, on the other hand, looked away as she was trying to hold back her own tears. She understands Sungjae. She really does. She hated being left behind. Out of all people in the universe, she knows the most about the pain of being left behind. But hearing him talk about his first love was a different kind of added pain for Joy. Yet all she could do right now is to reach out to Sungjae's hand to give him some comfort.