THE ZOMBIE PLAYGROUND

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

“OK! Wish me luck!”

Paul didn’t say a word. He sighed with relief when the boy raced across the fairway and finally left him alone. 

“FORE!” Ash shouted.

Paul turned to his left just in time to feel a golf ball slam against his gut. He fell back against the fairway.

“Oh my God!” Ash shouted, racing forward with a five-iron in one hand and his bag in the other. “Oh my God, Paul! Are you all right?”

He sat up and brushed the grass off. “I’m fine.”

“You’re not hurt?”

“No.”

Ash dropped his bag and club on the ground and ran up to him. He pulled up on Paul’s shirt and inspected his stomach. “You really are pale, aren’t you,” Ash said.

Paul didn’t say a word; he just glared.

“But you’re not hurt. I don’t see a puncture wound or anything.” Ash dropped the shirt back down. “I guess I should’ve known. Vampires need a lot more than a golf ball to the hip to take them down. Am I right?”

“Whoa, whoa, what are you saying?” Paul said. “Are you saying you did that on purpose?”

“No. Of course not.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Hey guys!” Crispin shouted, waving from up ahead. “We both hit! It’s Paul’s turn!”

Paul and Ash started walking forward, side by side. They didn’t say anything at first, but then Ash started to ramble.

“If there’s one sport that needs a truly great movie, it’s golf. Don’t you think?”

Paul didn’t reply. He kept walking toward his ball. Ash couldn’t tell if Paul was trying to ignore him or trying to focus on his next shot. But he kept talking, anyway.

“I mean, people will say it’s Caddyshack, which, I agree, is a classic. But it’s no Rocky, you know? No Field of Dreams. Golf doesn’t have that great inspirational Oscar movie. Not yet anyway. I think most people, at least those who don’t play it, equate golf with boredom, so all the films made about golf are always so lackluster. Like The Legend of Bagger Vance. Like The Greatest Game Ever Played. They’re OK, but could be so much better.”

Paul nodded but didn’t offer anything more. 

“I think what really needs to be made, that’s never been made in the history of motion pictures, is a movie that blends golf and horror. Wouldn’t that be so cool? I think it would have traces of comedy in it—I mean, it would have to—but it could also be scary. Look at all this raw land out here, just waiting for a good chase scene.”

Paul approached his ball. He glared at Ash. “Are you done talking now? Or are you gonna talk geek to me all the way to the freaking putting green?”

“I am not talking geek.”

“Aren’t you? I don’t mean in a bad way. But you are, you know. You’re a movie geek.”

“So? What’s wrong with that?”

“There’s nothing wrong with it. But you could spend less time shoving your movie opinions down my throat and more time trying to beat me in today’s tournament.”

Ash scowled at Paul and took a step back. “Beating you today? Fine, then. It would be my pleasure.”

“I’m ahead of you by nine,” Paul said. “Good luck, shrimp.”

Ash shrugged, then smiled boastfully. “You’re going down, vampire boy. I’m saving my best… for last.”

Paul glared at Ash as he took a practice swing, then hovered over his ball. He smacked his lips together, and brought his four-iron above his head.

“I promise,” Ash said.

Paul’s club collided with the ball, and Ash watched with glee as Paul’s club managed to fly farther down the fairway than the ball.

“Hey! That’s cheating!” Paul shouted, marching up to Ash like he might punch him, or worse, rip through his throat with a swipe of his fangs. “You can’t talk in someone’s back swing! That’s against the rules!”

Ash shrugged. “Sorry. Must have forgot.”

Paul pushed against Ash’s chest. “What the hell is your problem, dude?”

“I don’t have a problem.”

“You’ve had a problem with me since day one. All I’ve ever been is kind to you!” Paul pushed him again.

“Kind, huh? The way you’re being kind to me right now?”

“Hey!” Martin shouted in the distance. “What’s going on over there?”

The geek and the vampire paid the man no attention.

“You hate me,” Paul said. “You’re afraid of me and you hate me. Why?”

“Don’t quote Planet of the Apes in front of me, dickwad. As you said before… I’m the movie geek, remember?”

“There you go again. Hiding behind your pathetic movie obsession. Talk to me like a man, Ash. Tell me what’s on your mind.”

“I would talk to you like a man. If you were a man.”

“Hey! Take that back!”

Ash stood still for a moment, clearly summoning up his courage. He finally stormed forward and gave Paul a little push of his own. “I don’t like you, Paul. I don’t want you here! I’m Brin’s friend! I’ve been her friend since kindergarten! Two’s company, three’s a crowd, and you’re crowding things up, vampire boy!”

Paul grinned. He stared down at his four-iron, and then veered his eyes back to Ash. “I know what this is about. It makes perfect sense.”

“What does?”

He took a step forward. “You love her.”

The color drained from Ash’s face, like he had been prepared for Paul to say anything but that. “What?”

“I don’t know how I didn’t see it before.”

“You’re crazy.”

“You’re madly, wildly, head-over-freaking-heels in love with that girl. And you don’t like me because I’m stepping on your territory.”

Ash shook his head, slow at first, then fast enough to make anyone around him assume he was convulsing. “No! Gross! That’s so wrong I don’t even know where to begin! Brin and I are like family. We’ve known each other our whole lives. I don’t like her in that way!”

“It’s the only thing that makes sense,” Paul said. “You love her. You want her all to yourself. And you want me gone.”

“No.”

“Yes!”

“I said, no!”

Ash grabbed the sand wedge from his bag and struck Paul across the face. It wasn’t a hard strike, but after wiping a bead of sweat from his eyelashes, Ash saw the long, diagonal cut on Paul’s right cheek, and the thin, black blood streaming down to his neck. Ash couldn’t believe it: for the first time, he saw the red glow of all those Bodie vampires shining out of Paul’s scary eyes.

“You hit me,” Paul said.

Ash waited to get a club slammed against his side, but Paul had another idea in mind. 

Paul threw his club down, leapt toward Ash, and knocked him down against the fairway.

“Oh my God!” Ash said. “What are you—”

But Ash wasn’t able to finish his question. He opened his eyes, his mouth, and his hands in horror, as Paul crouched down and clamped his sharp white fangs around Ash’s neck.