In a Heartbeat (MxM)

Chapter 35

And before I knew it, I was walking closer to him, similar to the time I had seen him shivering from the cold. I wasn't sure what had gotten a hold of me, but I felt the urge to get him into a more comfortable sleeping position, or at least tell him that he should sleep like a normal person. Maybe this was whatever remnant of my wolf telling me to try, but I took a few strides like a man on a mission.

But as I went to tap his shoulder, the gravity of what I was doing made me want to retreat and pretend nothing happened. This was a terrible decision. But there was no going back now, as Simon quickly stirred, stretching his neck out before blinking a few times before looking up at me. And like clockwork, he turned his head to the side to avoid looking at me directly.

It was a strained few seconds as I tried to think of some excuse or reason to explain myself.

"Um," I finally found my words. "The bed, it's more comfortable if you'd like."

"Huh?" His brows furrowed before looking up.

I gestured to the bed. "You can sleep there if you'd like."

Simon opened and closed his mouth, tilting his head in confusion before shaking his head slightly. "It's...okay, I can sleep here."

"No," I said almost too harshly. "It's fine, the couch is uncomfortable, I know."

There were plenty of nights Sarah made me sleep on the couch when she'd be mad, so I wasn't a stranger to a morning of back pain and tight shoulders.

"And, what? You'll sleep on that horrid cot again?" Simon let out a curt scoff.

"I was thinking we'd...share?" What the hell was I doing? I wanted to punch myself in the face for whatever I was doing. This had to be the change in dosage, why the hell was I suggesting this?

"Share?" He looked at me incredulously before letting out a nervous breath, but it faded when he saw my stoic face. "You're not joking?"

I hummed, unsure why I didn't just laugh it off, tell him that he was crazy for thinking I'd say that seriously. I was insane not to, there was no way he'd willingly stay in the same bed as me, he could hardly be in the same room.

He placed his feet on the ground, sitting at the edge of the seat, almost uneasy to do anything really. "I mean, I guess, if you're okay with it. The couch really isn't that friendly on the back, but I've had worse."

He hesitantly walked over to the other edge of the bed, with the same sense of trepidation he'd carry whenever he moved around the room. He still looked awfully confused, even as he pulled the covers back, "is this really okay with you?"

I didn't have an answer for it, so I just shrugged. Despite the hundreds of strangers I've probably slept with, why was it so awkward to just sleep in the same bed as someone I knew, albeit not well?

"I mean," Simon mumbled, his voice shaking now as he pointed to that side of the bed. "This, it was Sarah's space right?"

Oh, I mouthed. Of all the things, he was concerned about that.

"I just," he said. "I feel like I'm... intruding I guess."

"It's fine, really," I replied. "I'm over her."

He gave me a look like he didn't believe me, which I guess was warranted. Sarah leaving like that still hurt when I thought about it, but there wasn't going back anyways. He didn't get in the bed, just kind of hovered near the edge like he was waiting for me to tell him it was all a joke. And a part of me wanted to pretend the last few minutes of interaction never happened, but just like Sarah, it wasn't like I could rewind time.