Defining Normal | EMBRY CALL

Envoy

Would Embry?

The men sit in silence until the familiar tin-whistle of Kim's car draws close, the sound painfully reverberating in his ears until she finally cuts the engine. Waiting for the women to come inside is torture, especially when he can hear every footfall, every breath, that leads them closer. They pause at the screen door, hovering at the threshold, and he wants to leap up, to welcome them in, but he knows that his presence is probably more fear-inspiring than friendly at this point.

Jake's hand squeezes tighter on his shoulder until Embry winces.

"Do not move. Do you hear me?" he orders.

A blessing and a curse.

Embry would nod if he could. "Yes."

"Good," Jake replies simply.

Kim enters first, her hand tightly grasping Lex's. Lex's head is bowed, her eyes downcast, but her heartbeat is steady. She's nervous, but she's here, and maybe he can fix this.

Jake greets them, but it's all fuzz. He needs to hear her voice, he needs to apologise, hell, he needs to beg for her forgiveness. Still, Jake's authority compels him to remain obedient, silent, and so he simply watches Lex, mentally willing for her to look his way.

She does.

Her eyes are lifeless, a far cry from the last time he'd seen her - but he can't picture that now. She blinks, hard, and he wonders if she's chasing tears away, if he's the source of her misery. He already knows the answer to that.

Lex's voice is scratchy when she finally speaks. "Kim told me what you are. I don't care about that. Okay, I do, but that's not important right now."

She trails off for a moment, looking at Kim for something, anything, and Kim responds with a firm squeeze of the hand. Embry would do anything for that to be him comforting her. He'd do anything to wind the clock back, to have Jake order him to stay away , to keep her safe like he'd vowed to do.

"Did you want to hurt me?" she whispers, looking directly at him.

Embry thinks he might just expel the contents of his stomach onto the freshly cleaned floor. From the corner of his eye, he catches Jake's slight nod, the permission to speak.

"Lex, I can't tell you how much I regret it all. Fuck, I should have let you go, I should have never gone over -"

"That's not what I asked," she says flatly, her expression impassive.

Embry swallows. "I lost control when I thought you were leaving, but it wasn't because I wanted to hurt you. Hurting you is the last thing I'd ever want to do," he says shakily. "You deserve so much better than me, someone normal, someone that isn't an actual fucking animal."

He cuts off when his voice breaks, betraying the torment that he's grappling with. The last thing he wants to do is cry - not because he fears weakness, but because he knows that'll break Lex.

Lex studies Embry for a long moment before turning to Jacob, fixing him with a searching look. "Kim says you can read minds. I want to know what he was thinking about."

Jacob shifts uncomfortably, glancing at Embry. "I don't like sharing pack business, but I think you have a right to know. He thought he had killed you, and he wanted me to order him to leave the Reservation. When he phased, he was thinking about his father leaving, about me leaving," Jake says, wincing, "and about your father. About how you leaving would send you back to him. He lost control, but it wasn't because he wanted to hurt you. Knowing he hurt you nearly finished him."

Embry's crying beside him, his head in his hands, but Lex's eyes don't stray from Jacob.

"Did you order him?"

"No. He wanted me to force him to stay away from you, but that needs to be your choice. I don't want to take that away from you."

She nods, pensive. Eventually, she turns to face Embry, meeting his gaze when he raises his head from his lap.

"How am I supposed to trust you? How do I know you're not like him?" she questions.

He sinks to his knees slowly on the carpet before her, bowing his head in shame or penance or perhaps both.

"I know that I'm no better than him, but I'm going to spend every day making it right with you, Lex, if you want me. If you want to leave, I'll let you go, but I want you to know the truth first. Do you remember the bonfire we went to awhile back?"

She nods, though her face remains pinched in confusion.

"Kim's already told you that most of the legends are true, that we change into wolves to protect the tribe, but she's left the last story for me to tell. The legend about the night of the fire, the one where K'wati ties strings between the protectors and the people. It's real. It's real, and I'm bound to you."

Lex's eyebrows draw closer together, but she says nothing, and so he continues.

"The spirits gave me to you for protection, but the more time I spend with you, the clearer it gets. I love you, Lex, and I need to make this right with you, if you allow me. Or not. Say the word and I'll go, if that's what you want. Whatever you want," he whispers, his voice trailing off as she stares at him.

"You're telling me that we're stuck together?"

Embry shakes his head abruptly. "I'm not going to make you stay. You deserve better than me, but that doesn't stop me from wanting you. I want this to be your choice."

Kim rubs her hand soothingly, drawing slow circles with her thumb. "I know it's crazy to think about. I thought Jared was insane when he told me."

Suddenly, it all makes sense. All the looks exchanged, the sizzling intimacy between the other couples. The unspoken care and affection conveyed in every gaze, every gesture, or the way that they seem to move in sync. But...her? And Embry? Somehow bound together, by something greater than simple attraction? It seems like a mistake, like he's read the signs wrong. And, shit, she isn't even sure about how she feels about him turning into a gigantic, horror-inspiring wolf, a huge mass of claws and teeth and predation.

And that's without acknowledging the whole I love you thing.

"I think...I need time to think. It's a lot to deal with," Lex says, feeling guilty the moment the words leave her mouth.

Embry nods instantly, drawing himself off the floor and to his seat, like the pleading never happened. She won't forget, though.

"Take all the time you need. Just, call me, please, whatever you decide."

"I will."

When she leaves, it's as if she's taking half of his heart with her. The yearning resumes immediately, a fierce twisting that threatens to rip him in half if he doesn't pursue. Distantly, he wonders if she feels the same way, if the bond affects her as deeply as it does him.

Jake turns to him, looking more triumphant than ever. "She'll choose you. I know she will."

Embry isn't so sure.