Sasquatch to the Moon

34: Three Flags

"Oh, uh, do you need help with it?"

"Nope, it's just carrots again, I'll see you at practice tomorrow?"

He frowns. "Sure?"

"Great, awesome, bye!" I practically fall down the stairs trying to get out.

Then I actually end up at my mother's. It was autopilot, honestly. I would've ended up at Steph's but he's in the middle of a birthday thing and I didn't want to drag him away from his parenting duty.

"Hey, mom." I mumble, untying my shoes and hanging up my jacket.

"What are you doing here-" she pauses. "Oh, honey, you look miserable."

"Mhmm." I mumble, trudging over to the couch and wrapping myself up in one of her blankets. "It's Håkon."

"Oh dear god what did that boy do-" She picks up a wooden spoon and her car keys. "I swear I'll-"

"He's okay, it's my fault, don't go beat him up, please." Because I have zero doubts that my angry slavic mother could get the complete upper hand over one of the biggest grinders in the league and that he wouldn't have a symmetrical face after she's done. I pity his nose if he gets on her bad side.

"Fine, fine." She grumps, setting the keys back down again. "What happened?"

"I don't know." I mumble. "I'm scared."

"Of what?" She sits down next to me, patting my knee.

"I don't know. I called off the relationship so early because he seemed so distraught by even being attracted to me and now I'm terrified of actually being with him."

"Is he ready for it?"

I nod. "Yeah, I think he's okay. I just, it was a weird and bad idea in the first place, we probably could've done all of this without the 'not dating' part and now I'm overwhelmed by the idea of it and I kind of just want to call it all off."

"Mhmm," she opens up her arms and I scooch closer, letting her hug me. "Sounds like you stuck your stuck your foot into warm water on a cold day, the second you took it out it was freezing cold and now you're scared to get in."

"Why was that so specific?" I mumble.

"I don't know, but the point is that you just need to talk to him about it. This isn't a conversation for you and I, it's a conversation for you and him."

"I know, but I'm scared to talk to him about it, I don't know what he expects, he's done all this before, well, not the dating, but he's older and I'm not sure what he's expecting."

"Hon," she smooths back my hair. "I'm not the person that you need to discuss your sexual boundaries with, that's him too." I blush at this.

"I just don't know what to do."

"It's your boyfriend, you have to get to know him enough to be able to have those hard talks, okay? This is just practice for the talk you're going to have in five years about adopting me some grandkids." she puts a kiss on top of my head.

"What."

"Nothing, nothing." She smiles down at me, running her fingers through my hair. "You just need to set up a day and get some take out and talk. About a lot of things, boundaries, limits, expectations, what you're going to do about the league, what you're going to do if one of you gets traded without the other. What you're expecting for dating in the next few months and what you're expecting in any long term arrangements. You and him are going to have to adapt to what's expected of you a lot more than your teammates."