In a Heartbeat (MxM)

Chapter 43

It left a strange feeling in my chest, one that made my eyes burn, realizing just how depressing it looked.

I couldn't hear Simon's cries anymore, just the throbbing and burning sensation of my head and side as I looked away from the toys. I couldn't see him downstairs, which meant he had probably gone upstairs. The stairs looked straight out of a horror movie. Drooping cobwebs from the ceiling, a thick layer of dust piled along the handrail and parts of the stairs where the light could reach. In any other circumstance, I wouldn't have even gone near that thing, but I could see the faintest trail of footsteps leading up them, which proved my theory.

If I thought the kitchen was spooky, the upstairs was a hundred times worse. It wasn't that everything had been a mess, or that their things had been ransacked, it was the fact that their home hadn't changed since that day. Everything was organized, even the toothbrushes and bottles of shampoo in the small bathroom were still on the counter and window ledge. To my right, the first bedroom had two unmade beds, a couple of pillows threatening to fall. Some pictures were hanging on the wall, and a couple of old electronics and video games were lying between the two beds. Above the beds had wooden letters hanging, Marcus and Austin.

I walked forward, approaching the second and third bedroom, only to find similar setups. The one on the right had two full-sized beds that were haphazardly made, this one obviously the younger girl's room. Stuffed animals and posters decorating the shelves and walls. Purple letters spelled out Monica and Paige above their beds.

Still no sign of Simon. I could only feel the pressure in my chest and the slight difficulty of breathing, I couldn't even hear him.

Across the hall in the other bedroom, I could see the letters above the first bed spell out Nicole, and when I stepped closer to the doorframe, I could see in the same shade of green, Simon's name. Their room was the neatest, even the desks had been tidied.

But like the other rooms, Simon wasn't in here. Which only led the master bedroom.

But as I neared the door frame to the bedroom, I heard Aspen take the final step up the stairs, lunging towards me, gripping my upper arm tightly before getting in my face. Pure rage rolled off him as he gripped the collar of my shirt. He raised a clenched fist, and I waited for the punch, but it never came.

"As much as I want to pound your face in," he threatened in a quiet tone. "Hurting you would only hurt him. I told you to wait outside, he doesn't need you near him."

"I just thought-"

"Wait outside," he urged. We glared at each other but I conceded, trudging back downstairs to wait on the porch.

---

"How is he?" I asked as Aspen left Simon's hospital room. His eyes were bloodshot, a bit puffy under the eyes, but the death glare he was sending my way was as intense as ever. And then I saw his outstretched hand too late, as it whacked me in the cheek, jerking my head to the right.

I groaned from the stinging. Aspen pointed his finger at me accusingly, "why the fuck were you there with him? Why the hell would you bring him there?"

"What?" I exclaimed. "I didn't. I found him there."

"Bullshit," he scoffed. "You don't get to ask me how he is when you're the reason he's hurt."

"I just-"

"What," he nearly shouted. "Think that I'd forget about all you did?"

My jaw clenched. "No, it's just-he was hurt wasn't he?"

He sighed. "His wounds will heal. The physical ones, anyways. They weren't that deep."

"So," I mumbled. "He-he did that. To himself?"

Aspen rolled his eyes. "There's a lot you don't know about him. And stop acting like you care, you're just doing this to get your stupid precious role back."

"What? That's ridiculous."

"Look, Simon may think you care, but I understand your kind very well. You're just using him like everyone else, and don't think that I'll just allow it to happen." Aspen looked at me with disgust before continuing. "You weren't there for him like I was, Vince. When he wanted to die so badly that he'd run into rogue's territory to incite a fight. Where he'd come inches close to mountain cliffs, wake up in a pool of blood, or chug painkillers. And the hardest part of it all was and is watching him seek you out because he honestly thinks there's a shred of hope that you'll change. That you'll be a good person."

He shook his head. "But you're not. You never were, and you'll never be a good person. I don't care whether you feel the need to 'check up on him,' or whether you think apologizing or explaining yourself will make everything you did okay because it's not! You ruined his life, and there's no way of changing that."

I stepped back, his words stinging just as badly as the slap. I frowned before mumbling, "I know that."

"Good," he spat before turning on his heel to walk down the hall. I let out a frustrated sigh before leaning against the opposite wall, running a hand through my hair as I let his words sink in. Aspen was right, I didn't know Simon well at all. I had barely known him, even when he had been living here. And the damage I caused? I didn't know a fraction of the repercussions he's dealt with.

Maybe it was better to just write the letter, let him be, and go our separate ways. Pretend this whole set up Michael had never existed.

"Hey," Sarah whispered, peeking her head out of Simon's room.

I pointed down the hall, "lover boy went that way."

She smirked, before waving her hands, "no, that's not it. Come in."

"Are you insane? Aspen will kill me."

"Not if it was my idea," she ushered. "Besides, didn't you want to check on him?"

I scrunch my nose before replying, "that is not a good idea."

"Just get your ass inside." She gripped my forearm, before shoving me inside. "Simon wanted to see you."

Now that was even more insane.