Some Fall By Virtue

Chapter Twelve: pushing me to see the truth

Or maybe she would just reincarnate between the worlds as she had done before, part of her whispered, relishing in the fear which that very thought evoked deep within her, but the dark blissfulness of unconscious soon swallowed her whole. She liked the darkness. It hid her and her sins so very well. Coward, the voice whispered, and Sakura could only hum in acknowledgement before the abyss consumed her.

::

A blistering headache, painful ribs, and a mouthful of blonde hair greeted her as consciousness slammed into her with the force of a battering ram. "Huh?" she muttered eloquently, the urge to vomit rising once more, and she quickly shoved that feeling down as much as she could. Like hell was she going to vomit on him again. Once was enough. He would probably despise her if she did so again. Sakura ignored the part of her which whispered that it was how it was meant to be.

His head turned, gaze clocking her newly awakened self before he looked back at where his feet were taking the both of them. "Hush now," he said, and Sakura closed her mouth from where she had opened it only milliseconds before. "Do not speak – your ribs are still in a dire situation. Lindion could not heal you for reasons I have yet to understand," he continued, and Sakura felt a horrible realisation stir within her.

She knew little of elven healing methods, most of that which she had pieced from her occasional ventures out while she was still so very young in that second life of hers – the other parts coming from Melkor's scorning words. What little she knew of involved words of power sung in song, calling to body and soul in turn. But her body and soul were undeniably twisted from that which elves were used to healing. She prayed those suspicions were wrong. She didn't want to be outed as a dragon in an elven realm. Though she would likely get the death she deserved. Oh. Sakura blinked, realising why she was so terribly scared of dying again. She didn't want to go back to the Elemental Nations. Her lives there had always had the same, painful ending – one rife with a betrayal she hadn't thought she deserved. Well, not the first time at least.

She deserved betrayal there – though it could hardly be called that. She was a creature of evil, whilst her soulmate was everything good. It would be merely justice and penance for her sins.

"Dragon?" she asked, unable to get another word out what with the pain she received for voicing that single word aloud.

"Slain," Glorfindel replied shortly. "We have yet to reach Rivendell, where I hope we will find healing for you. If anyone should be capable of succeeding where Lindion has fallen short, then I have no doubts Lord Elrond will." Silence hung heavy in the air between them for a few short moments, her fears and worries bubbling just beneath her skin. "Though I would ask of you not to aggravate your injures by overtaxing yourself so, whether that be by trying to move, or even, indeed, attempting to speak."

Sakura, despite her reluctance to both obey orders and allow her soulmate to continue carrying her, could only settle her chin down on her shoulder, pastel pink hair working to hide her face as she tried to get comfy there.

She froze then, stiffening as she pulled an arm back, fingers closing around the hair colour she had chosen to leave behind years ago. It was strange to see it there, what with how careful she had been with here dye. Of course. Sakura yanked on a strand with a soft sigh. After Fainbarad and Gilithien had... she had neglected her hair colouring, too caught up in grief, the terror and hope she discovered upon meeting her soulmate, and the dragon slaying with said soulmate. Her latest tumble in the river had removed her subpar dye job, revealing her unnatural hair colouring to the entire world. To her oh so precious soulmate.

"I see now that your name comes from your colouring," he said, having noticed her gaze on the strands of hair which had been a dark brown colour before, grey eyes flickering over her face as she remained a complete and utter deadweight upon his back. "Unique as it is..."

Sakura huffed – and even that was a rather painful endeavour, so she closed her eyes once more, wishing she could somehow go back and undo everything. Or at least run away after her now slain kin had sacked the village she had lived in, if only to prevent her from ever coming into contact with her blasted soulmate and his kin. She wanted more time, if only to right more of her wrongs before the sword fell once more and cast her from that world.

There could be no other fate for a monster such as her.

"How far?" she croaked out, ignoring the sharp, stern glance directed her way. Because she was obstinate and continued to speak despite Glorfindel's orders not to. She probably deserved the pain. She was a monster and she was deceiving them – why else would they be carrying her straight into an elven realm?

"We are not far out from our destination," Glorfindel informed her, proving he was evidently well versed in the ways of understanding what information she wished to know despite her few words spoken. "Verily you have slept long, understandable given your injuries, though I feared you may not wake for a while yet – until we reached Rivendell perhaps."

Dimly, Sakura wondered just how long she had slept – though the rumble in her stomach told her it had undoubtedly been a while since she had last eaten. But dragons could go for long periods without consuming sustenance. She hoped her constitution hadn't caused any wonder or suspicion. Indeed, her hair colouring was probably causing enough of a stir as it was, and Sakura didn't want anything else pegging her out as unnatural, as a dragon wearing human skin. The fact she hadn't been able to be healed through the usual methods was bad enough.

She found herself missing the conversation which had once flown between them all too smoothly as she became accustomed and oddly comforted by the constant pace of his footsteps, the air between them thick and silent, her mind buzzing with thoughts and hatred for herself and her situation. Fear curled in her gut at the thought of discovery. Her soulmate would hardly carry her if he knew who she was to him. If he came to learn what she had done to his people in an age long passed.

Sakura closed her eyes, screwing them shut tightly as she tried to block out the whispers from that traitorous voice in the very depths of her mind.

Coward.

Unworthy.

Wretched monster.