Falling // Wolfstar

Twenty Seven

For Sirius? Remus inspects it closely, unsure why this is the only wrapped present unlike James and Peter's gifts.

He places the gifts back into the parcel and neatly reties the twine. The last part of the letter resonates the most with him. He stares at the horizon, noticing the way the sunlight sparkles on the water's reflection. The arrangement of oranges and pinks reflect on the surface like a painting. In his moment of reflection, a rather curious thought strikes him. Of all the letters from his mum so far, not once has she mentioned his father.

"A-hem."

Remus tears his eyes away from the lake when he's disrupted by Davy. The Ravenclaw is wearing  comfort clothes, sweatpants and a jumper, which is rather casual for the boy's usual put-together attire. His hair seems to be getting messier and messier every time Remus sees him.

"Hello Davy," Remus says, staring up at him.

"Mind if I join?" Davy asks, motioning to the spot beside him.

"No, go ahead." Remus collects his things and moves them aside to make room.

Davy sits with his legs crossed, leaning in eagerly. "Is that your mum's package?"

"Yeah -" Remus stops himself skeptically. "Um, yeah she sends them to me -"

"Every month. You told me."

Remus licks his lips, nodding along. "Oh, right."

Davy leans back against the tree, moving slightly closer to Remus. "I've been meaning to ask, how are you feeling? Have you gotten any memories back?"

"Not any good ones." Remus shrugs, pulling his knees up to his chest and resting his chin on top.

"I'm not a healer, but I'm a great listener. There seems to be something on your mind."

Remus considers the offer. He peers over his shoulder at Davy. If what he knows is true, Davy knows little to nothing about his personal life. Perhaps he could offer an outsider's perspective. "Well, I noticed that my mum hardly ever talks about my dad in letters. I mean, I haven't exactly asked about him or anything - I've always been closer to my mum." His focus shifts back onto the sunset before them. "We have this thing, you see. Whenever we miss each other, we know that we share the same sunset."

Davy stares with admiration. "She...sounds like a good mum."

"That's an understatement." He chuckles softly. "She signs her letters most ardently."

"Most ardently?"

Remus looks over his shoulder with knit eyebrows. "You have bewitched me body and soul." Davy stares back blankly with his mouth slightly agape, unsure how to respond. "Pride and Prejudice."

"Ooh!" Davy begins to laugh, shifting in his spot. "Pride and Prejudice, of course! Must've slipped my mind."

Remus leans back against the tree, running his finger along the edge of his mum's letter. "I think my parent's are divorced." Davy sits patiently, allowing him to speak at his own pace. "I don't really know, for sure. I just have a feeling about it."

"I'm sorry to hear that." Davy places a comforting hand on Remus' knee. The action doesn't go unnoticed, and Remus tenses at the touch. "Do you have any inclination as to why? I mean - why you think so?"

"My parents have always had different opinions about...parenting me." He swallows slowly as he recalls his early childhood. "Um, I suppose I was a difficult kid at times." His fingers tremble slightly, causing the letter to slip from his hands. "It was only a matter of time until something broke the camel's back, you know?"

Davy rubs his thumb over Remus' knee calmly. "Was it anything to do with your relationship? You don't talk much about Abigail."

Remus lowers his head shamefully. A chilling breeze whisks past him and a snow flurry lands on his nose. Slowly, Remus looks up to the sky and watches as the faintest, tiniest, specks of snow fall onto the ground. The first snowfall of the season. It amazes him how something so small could bring so much joy. "It's snowing," Remus mumbles, more so to himself than anyone.

In an instant, his world is spun around before he can even blink. The sun is long gone, and it's dark outside as he stands on his porch. It's nighttime - 11:59 to be exact. The air is numbingly cold and flurries of snow fall creating a serenity. Sirius is standing in front of him, dangerously close.

A series of fireworks rockets into the sky to signal the New Year. Before him, Sirius tucks his fingers around the belt loops of his pants, pulling him closer until they are pressed against each other. Sirius' fingers weave through the strands of his hair, bringing him down to let their lips touch. His own lips are soft and supple against Sirius' before vying for control. He presses his arm against the wall, pinning it next to Sirius' head as he deepens the kiss.

The scene shifts and when Remus opens his eyes, he's not staring at Sirius, but instead at his father. Lyall is clutching the collar of his shirt aggressively with a venomous glare. The veins in his forehead are prominent. Remus holds his breath when he catches the tail end of his father's sentence.

"Isn't being a werewolf sickening enough?" His grip on Remus releases suddenly and he stalks away with clenched fists.

Remus jolts up from beside Davy, his mind going a mile a minute. He stumbles over his feet dizzily, trying to regain his bearings.

"Remus, are you alright?" Davy asks, immediately getting up to steady the Gryffindor.

Remus' eyes are wide with horror and he pushes Davy away. "I-I need to leave. Be alone." He reaches down and collects his things in a rush, clutching them close to his body. He hurries up the hill and back to the tower in a fury, leaving Davy standing alone by the water.

"My father hates me," Remus repeats himself. "Because I'm gay." It was hard enough knowing his father resented him for being a werewolf, now on top of that - his sexuality? He can't even process the idea properly. "I'm the reason they're divorced."

Remus screws his eyes shut, blocking out his father's voice echoing in his head. No son of mine is gay. The flashes of his father's angry face replay like a film stuck on a continuous loop. My son locking lips with the wretched heir to the Black family!

The past few weeks he's blamed Sirius Black for being the cause of all his problems. The problem isn't Sirius Black. He doesn't hate the boy - how could he when he barely even remembers him?

Remus can barely make it up the stairs, nearly tripping over the third step. When he reaches the top of the stairs, he stops, pushing everything out of his way.

The problem isn't Sirius Black. The problem is himself.

Remus slowly opens the door to see the boys all sitting on the floor hunched over. "Hey," he says calmly. "Um, mum brought gifts."

James and Peter's face light up like a Christmas tree, and they fight to get to him first. Remus hands out the gifts and leaves the tin of cookies on the desk. His hand clutches the specially wrapped present, and he slowly makes his way to Sirius.

It's the first time they've interacted in days.

"These are for you." Remus hands Sirius the present and the pair of dinosaur socks identical to the one's for him.

"Thank you," Sirius says.

Their hands brush against one another when he takes the gift. Remus presses his lips into a thin line, averting his eyes to the floor. James and Peter have already broken into the cookie tin and have begun to devour Hope's treats like animals. Remus joins them, and laughter fills the air. It's a refreshing sound to hear.

Sirius rests his arm on his knee, turning the present in his hand absentmindedly. His eyes are trained on Remus. It's barely noticeable - easily missable with the blink of an eye, but Sirius notices. In the midst of his apparent happiness, Remus' face reads an expression Sirius never wants to see on the boy he loves: sadness.