The World That Was Mine (Part I & II)

XX

"Iz, honey where are you going?" He talked to me like a toddler.

I shook my head, walking into the bathroom. "I need a minute." I mumbled, closing the door. I turned the little brass lock, and slid down the wall, emptiness consuming me. It was amazing how I could feel nothing and everything at the same time. How I could be so full of sadness, regret and pain, but so empty of everything else.

I took a deep breath, feeling the air fill my lungs. I crossed my arms over my chest, as if they would hold together whatever was breaking inside. I closed my eyes, and stopped thinking. For a moment I forced the chaos of my mind to be quiet. Still, it never quite stopped, but it was quiet. I drowned out the noise around me.

I focused on my breathing. Marley would be proud of me. She knew how easily and how often I became overwhelmed, and was always telling me it was okay to take a break. It was okay to stop for a little while. I wasn't sure I quite believed her on that, but I suppose she was right in one way or another. She was always right in one way or another. A soft knock at the door made me open my eyes rapidly.

"Belle? Are you in there?" Logan spoke gently, but not patronisingly.

I sighed. "Y-yeah, I'm in here." The need to cry was supposed for the moment, replaced with an overwhelming need to be close to someone. Not even touching, just close would do just fine. "Can you unlock the door?" He asked. I nodded, though he couldn't see me, and stood up, turning the little brass lock. Logan smiled sadly when our eyes met.

"Hey kid." He whispered.

I realized how childish and stupid I looked as I stood in the bathroom after running away. "Hi." I muttered, my cheeks red with embarrassment.

"How ya doin?" He too was looking for a reaction, or an emotion or something. I hated that I had none to give.

"I'm okay." I would be sooner or later anyway. Logan hesitated for a moment, seemingly unsure of what he should do. I suppose he made a decision when his arms carefully wrapped around me, pulling my body in for a gentle hug.

"You know, it's okay to not be okay sometimes." He whispered in my ear.

If only he knew how not okay I was. If only anyone understood me or my insanely complex thoughts. If only I understood my insanely complex thoughts. I sighed, and leaned my head against his chest. This was dangerous and I knew it. Allowing this attachment is a fatal flaw. Yet in this moment I didn't stop it. I embraced it, and basked in the sweetness of simply being cared for. "We're here for you Iz. We want to help you in any way we can." It could be bull. It could be a lie that would bite me in the ass later. But I believed him. My hungry heart ate the lies, a sweet yet bitter taste. We stayed like this for a long while, Logan's arms around me, my body melting into his.

"Are you ready to go and get packed?" Logan asked after a moment. I sniffled and nodded against his chest, slowly moving away from him.

"Yeah." I whispered. I went to step around him, but Logan grabbed me again and squeezed me one last time.

"I'm here for you little moon."

I scrunch my eyebrows in confusion, but Logan let go of me and turned away before I could ask him about the odd nickname.

Slowly, I threw clothes, shoes and anything else I had brought into the duffle bag. Finley sat on the other side of the bed, never once casting me as much as a glance.

Tyler however, seemed to be unable to peel his eyes away from me. He was studying me like I was a work of art he didn't understand. It made me shift uncomfortably, but that didn't make him stop. Logan carried my bag out to the car when we were packed. I had said I could do it, but he just smiled goofily and shushed me.

I was still mewling over what he had called me, but for one reason or another, didn't bother to ask about it. My mind was too full of answers as it was. Once we were in the car, it was silent. No one had anything worth saying. For once, everyone was silent.

In this world true silence is rare. Quiet is usual, but the kind of silence that makes you feel rejuvenated, that is a rarity in this world.

Because everyone has something to say. Everyone wants to fill the silence.

In this world everyone wants to be heard.

A/N-Make sure you go follow me on Instagram evam224wattpad to get updates as well as some other things. I will be taking requests for covers and aesthetics on there (as well as here for those who don't have instagram) and I will also will try and do some fun things if I get enough followers.

Not a fan of this chapter but oh well, not all of them can be perfect. I have an epic surprise in store for all of you next chapter so stay tuned for that.

Lots of people said they wanted more representation of the LGBTQ + community and I'd just like to say that there will be quite a bit of that in this story. I won't reveal anything yet but just know that I am trying my best to make sure everyone feels represented in my stories.

Thank you all for almost 90k views on this story, it really means the world to me. You all are amazing and I appreciate every comment vote and message. I am amazed at how much this has grown since I first published battle scars back in March. Side note, did anyone ever read my very first story called Bodyguards? It was a protective older brother story (surprise surprise, some things never change) and I have since unpublished it because that writing is TRASH.

Okay last thing. Am I the only one who thinks that Ed Sheeran is INFURIATING. Like I HATE him. There's really no reason, but I do. I DESPISE him. The way he looks, the way he breaths, just the way he exists is so unexplainably irritating. Am I the only one who feels this way? I can't be. This man must be stopped before he kills us all. Okay have a good day and thank you for the kind comments!