In a Heartbeat (MxM)

Chapter 49

"I know it was wrong," he sighed. "I hadn't realized that the person she had been seeing, cheating dad on with was actually her mate. Hadn't realized that she was never obligated to love dad. But I still yelled at her. Still called her terrible. Told her I wanted nothing to do with her if she couldn't honestly say that she had loved all of us equally."

I reached over, placing my hand on his shaking ones, closing the space between us. "She still loves you, Vince."

He shook his head. "I wasted so much time. All this time I thought she'd hate me. I should have seen her sooner. Should have been there for her, been at her side alongside Xavier, holding her hand like that. Like this."

"That doesn't matter. You can still be there for her now. For however long she has left, Vince." I gave him a slight smile, but that frown still stained his face. "There's still time."

"No, I've failed her," he claimed before his expression softened as he looked at me. "Just as I've had with you."

"No, you haven't. There's still time-"

"You held my hand back there, too," Vince whispered, staring at our hands like a puzzle as he interrupted. "Aren't you scared of what they'll say? To see us like this?"

"What?" I tilted my head. "I can't hold my mate's hand?"

"It's just-" He frowned. "With what I've done?"

"They don't know you like I know you, Vince," I told him. "But we can show them. Prove that you aren't this mean, killing machine alpha everyone thinks you are."

"But how can you be so sure?" He didn't dare to even look up at me, still entranced by our intertwined hands. "That I've changed?"

"You've changed, Vince. For the better. Weeks ago, you wouldn't have done this, years ago you wouldn't even dare to set foot in the same room as me. Today, you faced your mother. You held my hand. That in itself is more than I could have asked. But what does it matter what they say?"

He let out a chuckle, one I had needed. "You're crazy, you know that?"

"So what if I am?"

"You're crazy for thinking that there's something under all this dysfunctional chaos."

I scoffed. "You only had two brothers. I had six siblings, now that's chaos."

His expression darkened, before looking away. There was uneasy silence that hung in the air as we stared at the space between us.

Vince opened and closed his mouth before glancing up at me, finally saying softly, "what were they like?"

He looked away as soon as it left his mouth as if fearing my reaction, but I squeezed his hand, smiling. "The boys, Marcus and Austin were annoying. Little rascals were always getting into trouble. But Austin would always do his chores at least."

"Paige loved to cook, along with Nicole. Paige only understood fractions from recipes, and Nicole never really needed a recipe. A lot of the time she'd whip something out from memory or trial and error. And well, Monica had the appetite of a grown adult. I honestly don't know where she got it from. She'd always sneak an extra helping of snacks the girls made during the holidays. But honestly, Stephen was a real angel, he hardly ever made a fuss, didn't cry in the middle of the night. He was probably the only sane one."

"It doesn't sound very chaotic to me," he muttered.

I let out a curt laugh. "Oh, trust me. It was never boring. There was a time I honestly thought they would burn the house down and-"

"They wouldn't have liked me very much, right?" he interrupted, disentangling his hands from mine, that goddess-awful frown marred his face. "Your family, I mean."

I blinked. "What do you mean?"

He sighed, resting his hand against his forehead. "Even if I had done everything right. Or if I hadn't been an alpha, just a regular pack member. If I had just accepted you, they wouldn't have liked me, would they? "

"Of course they would," I raised my voice a little, moving his hand away from his face so I could look at him properly. "They would've loved you, Vince. My parents, the girls, the rascals, even little Stephen."

"No," he mewled, shaking his head. "No, they wouldn't"

"Yes, they would," I frowned, grabbing his shaky hands, pulling it close to my chest. "Crazy right? We were a chaotic bunch too."

The faintest smile appeared before vanishing just as quickly as it had come. Short breaths escaped him as his eyes seemed to fill with unshed tears. Out of instinct, I reached my hand out, brushing his cheek ever so slightly, as if ready to brush them away, only for him to lean further into the pillow away from my hand.

"Vince?"

"I just had to go and ruin it," I could barely hear him say, as he rolled back over, the familiar silhouette of his back facing me again. A sight I was used to, but also a sight I didn't want now. Not after all the progress I had thought was happening. I didn't want to take a step backward, not when we had come this far.

I clutched the back of his shirt, leaning forward to lean my head against his back, tentatively reaching my hand up and down his arm, hoping it would soothe him. I could hear the faintest of sniffles, the smallest tremors traveling down his back.

"No, not all of it," I whispered, uncertain if he could even hear me through his quiet sobs. "I'm still here. I'm still here, Vince."