In a Heartbeat (MxM)

Chapter 51

"It was my father's favorite," he said. "Out of the hundreds and hundreds of books he read, this was his favorite. He loved the message behind it. Mother always argued A Tale of Two Cities was superior. They fought about it at least once a week. They were adorable."

He stared at the book for a bit before setting it gently back into place. He looked around as if taking it in again, but this time with stride.

He walked towards the stairs before turning around to look at me earnestly. "Well, I'll show you the rest."

He took me upstairs, sharing some personal mementos, even pointed out some more photos that were on the wall of his younger brothers and sister. We went into their rooms while he divulged some things about them, pointing out the boy's favorite games, sharing the girl's favorite doll or book. The whole time I was amazed at how he was keeping it together. Hadn't seen him frown or seem to want to cry the entire time. It was like staring at a different person. Surely this place brought bad memories, but he seemed fine.

He nearly dragged me into the room that had the wooden letters that spelled his and Nicole's name out. He looked around, my eyes gravitating to the desk between their beds, a photo frame in the middle, just between the lamp and pencil holder.

"This," I paused to gulp, picking up the picture of Simon and his older sister. Her hand draped over his shoulder. "This was Xavier's mate?"

He walked over, leaning his head against my shoulder to peer at the dusty picture framed. He hummed, before replying, "that's her. She was sixteen at the time I think. Nicole loved this photo, I look so goofy in this one cuz she startled me by putting her arm around me. Probably why my eyes look super wide."

I could feel the tendrils of guilt creeping over knowing how badly Xavier had wanted this, wanted his mate. I set it down, watching as Simon browsed the knick-knacks in his room, before gasping.

"Wha-"

"I forgot," he exclaimed excitedly before tugging on my arm again dragging me out into the hall. "I should show you these other photos, they're hilarious."

We neared the master bedroom, and I was reminded of the last time we had been here. He had a panic attack in that room, the wounds on his side had happened there.

"Are you su-"

"It should be in here," he interrupted, heading towards the master closet. I kept my head down, feeling like this was the most sacrilegious place for me to be. Like a demon walking into church.

He pushed past some of the empty coat hangers, coughing from the dust as he pulled out a shoebox. He came back over to the entrance of the bedroom, where I stood nervously. He flipped through some of the photos, till he settled on, staring at it softly before flipping it to show me. It was a Christmas photo, the last one, dated sixteen years ago, with all of them.

He pointed at the youngest, Stephen. "He hated it that year. He was screaming at the top of his lungs when our neighbor took the photo. But it sure looks like he's aggressively singing a tune, doesn't it?"

Stephen had his little hands reached forward like he had been in a musical singing an opening number. He looked mad, but also quite adorable. Simon sighed before saying, "my parents didn't want this photo for the Christmas card, but I convinced them to keep it. I thought it was the best of them all."

I hummed, the same cold feeling I got from seeing the other family photos in the living room. His family had been so happy, so normal. Something I had once longed for.

I stepped outside, needing some fresh air. Maybe it had been the dust or the sight of the photos. Maybe it had just been the sheer weight of what this empty house meant, but I needed to calm down. Simon stayed in there for a bit, and if it hadn't been for his cheery mood, I would've been worried about him being in there alone. And now I felt the same anxious way he did, not nearly as bad, but enough for me to brace myself against the wall outside their front door. Why did it hurt so much?