More Than Enough || Toru Oikawa X Reader

|22| Getting Use To It

After marrying her, your father never missed the chance to show her off and his three kids who he says he's very proud to have. And in a family, you would think that the father's have a soft spot for the daughters and likes to be more tough on the sons or just pay more attention to them but in yours...

It wasn't like that.

Being the first born and a girl was a little disappointing to a few but it was okay. Everyone expected to make a great lady out of you. The perfect wife. They said they would make a woman out of you but they weren't able to because of your father.

He taught you everything you need and didn't need to know. He showed you how to fix the electricity, how to repair a car, he let you do things a man should do that some of your family members were against as it wasn't "lady like".

Your father didn't care much. He raised you to be prepared for life. He was like that with your sister but she went into the rebellious stage but soon got out after a month or so. Your sister didn't care much so your father didn't push it and joked around saying how you can't teach a woman to do a man's job which got to you.

Even when you were young you wondered if your father just wanted a son. A man to raise and teach all of this but when he got a son, Mark, your father did the same thing he did to you with him but Mark was the same as Jia-Li.

He didn't care and didn't want to do them. Mark did do a few things at first but got tired of them and said their useless to know which just left you. Your grandparents, from your father's side, have told you so much how you resemble your father and remind them of him.

You soon started to see yourself as him but then there was your mother who was trying to make you a lady. A woman who can get themselves a husband in the future. You soon became what your parents wanted.

Elegant when wanted but brutal when needed.

Then there were both side of the families expectations you needed to reach which were stressful but you succeeded. You won trophy. You won diplomas. You were the best at everything. You were respectful and lady like. You did everything but at what price...?

What did that cost you...?

You look at your reflexion on the glass picture. 

You can barely recognize yourself.

You don't even know what makes you happy anymore.

You don't even know it you're still wearing a mask or not and it scarring you because all you ever wanted to be in life is good enough. 

You want to be enough.

You felt like crying at this point. You wanted to scratch your fingers. Peel the skin off but because of the band-aids, you couldn't.

"(Name)?" you look to your side to see the school's counsellor, Mrs. Yang.

"Mrs. Yang, good morning," you say with a forced smile as she walks up to you. She stops in from of you and look at the pictures on the wall.

"Good morning to you too," she says, "Is that your father?" she ask as she points at your father in the picture. You look and nod. "I head a few stories about him. A lot of teachers knows about him and they know that you're his eldest daughter. They're expecting you to be just like him," she says which made you clench your fist.

"I know..." you say as you look at the photo.

"How does that make you feel? Anxious, I assume?" she ask but you don't nod or do anything as you were just looking at the pictures.

"Neutral," you tell her which surprised her as she didn't expect that answer. You look at her and smile, "When you're use to something, it's hard to put an emotion to it," you say.