Notes:
· Everything is past tense now :))
- I really do be posting whenever I want haha
--------------------------------
POV: Aiden
I was munching on my muffin as I was vaguely paying attention to the news playing on the TV screen. The cafe was seemingly more busy than usual, with customers other than Erwin's employees joining the tables around us.
It had been a couple of days after the party and still, I couldn't stop thinking about everything that had gone down that night. More specifically, Erwin's intimate touches had been overtaking every inch of my brain, to the point where I had begun outwardly gaping in thought for ten minutes in the office. A smack on the lips by a stack of paper from the manager had done a great job shutting it.
I completely blamed my lack of getting laid and touch deprivation for that, but deep inside, I knew it was because it was him who touched me and nothing else. I don't know when the attraction had begun but no way in hell was I going to indulge in it. He's a fire that should not be played with or else you're going to get a fourth-degree burn.
As I continued to mull over my unfortunately useless thoughts, my ass began vibrating. I got out the phone from the left pocket and found that a private ID was calling me. I was tempted to just decline the call, deeming it some sort of prank call or marketing call but it would provide as a temporary distraction from my ruminating. So I picked up.
"Hello?"
There was silence on the other side for a moment before a voice, that was too soon to be dealt with, was heard. "I think this might be the first time you greeted me ever since you left the mansion."
Instinctively, my eyebrows furrowed and my lips settled with a frown. "Bradley," I growl out. I had a feeling that I wouldn't be able to deal with him without raising my voice, so I got out of my seat and head out the exit. Since the cafe was right next door to the company building, I walked till was near the front entrance. It was until I reached my destination that I continued adding on. "Why do you have my number?"
A scoff was heard before Bradley snottily replied. "As if that's hard to discover. If I cared about it earlier I could've–"
"That's not what I asked. Stop going off on a tangent." Ever since the confrontation the other night, my fear against my brothers were basically near non-existent. It was like someone hit a switch and the next day, I had enough will to punch them without any hesitation. All while sober. The cause for this cannot be determined but I just said the alcohol did its job and much more.
"Aiden... you're forgetting your place again," the other snarled out.
"No, I'm not. My place is not with you guys and that's what I'm upholding. Look, I need to go to work and you're wasting my lunchtime. You're clearly not going to answer my question, so I'm just going to assume you got it from the eldest. Now can you just tell me your reason for calling?"
Once again, silence came from the other side, this time a lot longer. I was tempted to just hang up on him but quickly decided it would be a bad idea and would create more issues than benefits.
"As I was saying before," Bradley said cooly, completely ignoring my other question, "you're forgetting your place and pushing it.
I groaned out loud in frustration, remembering how stubborn this man can be. I guess we've gotta humour him. "And how have I been pushing it? I cut off ties with you guys ever since I left, so there's literally no way I could've offended you. Unless you're salty that I didn't keep in touch with my dear brothers."
"Shut up!" Bradley suddenly exclaims. "I couldn't care less if you died in a ditch two minutes after you left."
"Then what the shit do you want?" I snapped. I've got places to be and the last thing I want to do is deal with my childhood bully.
"You're such a fucking brat! You won't even let me crush you properly anymore! I liked you better when you used to cower under me."
"How are you crushing me this time?" I boldly asked. If he wanted to fight, he can get a fight. I wanted to bruise his jaw for a while now.
"By taking your beloved grandpa away from you."
That was definitely a splash of cold water. I immediately straighten and I felt agitation run through my veins. "What the fuck did you do to grandpa?!" I don't bother hiding the anger and anxiousness in my voice. My mind thinks of the worst instantly, not putting murder below the trophs.
A maniacal laugh rings through the phone and I'm this close to frying the handheld device. "Good, now we're talking. Don't worry, we didn't kill the old man. That's illegal and would put us in trouble."
"I feel like you can't comment about committing anything illegal, considering your history and current businesses."
"Shut the FUCK up. I'm the one who has leverage here."
"Actually–"
"Is exposing us or having your grandpa by your side more important?" Bradley asked bluntly.
"As if you don't know the answer to that. Where the fuck is George?"
"Not with you that's for sure. Before we get there, however, let's justify why we did it. Because a Troph never does anything without reason. It's come to our attention that you've been... growing. In a bad way."
"Uh huh..."
"What I'm trying to get at is that you've become a threat to us."
"But I already said I don't give a shi–"
"AND you could be lying on that. You have leverage over us, which has never happened before. It's usually the other way around. No one can ever one up except a Troph and you're one of us, so it made–"
"I am NOT one of you guys," I hissed out adamantly.
"You are the son of a Troph and grew up in the Troph household. You're one of us. That's the reality, unfortunately. Anyway, we thought leaving you alone would be risky but thought you were too much of an idiot to be any sort of harm. Clearly, we made a mistake and now you have too much against us. Moreover, you happened to... have a powerful oddity (Bradly distastefully gritted out the last part) that was unknown to our knowledge, which happens to put us in a more or less vulnerable position. Especially since the first time in Troph history, we have nothing against you nor know nothing of you. Except that you apparently love your grandpa. So we decided to use that."
"WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM?!" I was losing it at that point. Each word caused my skin to pale further and feel my legs trembling.
"Calm down. We didn't kill him. Merely just hid him away from you. He's not at the village anymore. We've moved him elsewhere and that plan is to not tell you."
My brain shut down out of sheer panic. "Wai- wha- don–"
"And don't bother with the hacking bullshit. We've organised face to face and even put him under a different name, so you won't be able to find him."
They were taking away one of the only people who cared about me and my existence. The first person to ever accept me. My heart was pounding out my chest and the short intakes of breath were making my head spin. "I don't do that," I whisper out, desperately. "Don't take him away from me. I promised I wouldn't do anything. Please, he's all I have left to call family."
Bradley tched in annoyance. "Stop being dramatic. You have us."
"You guys ARE NOT family. Never was, never will be." I growled out, feeling myself spark out. I'm began to draw attention by people walking past but I couldn't give less of a shit. Instead, I felt like flipping them off as a method of projecting my anger and anxiety.
"Yeah, whatever. This was the reaction we were hoping to get out of you anyway so glad to know it's working. Oh, and another for taking gramps is that we don't believe you don't have a hidden agenda. You're probably planning to get the most out of his inheritance or something."
"I'm NOT YOU GUYS!" I roared out in sheer panic and rage. I felt the conversation ending and I needed to drag it out in hopes of getting him to slip. If people weren't staring before, they were now. "I don't care ABOUT your family or, or your company or your money. All I wanted was ACCEPTANCE and, and LOVE but NONE OF YOU, no one gave me that, except him. I don't know why but he did and I don't want to lose it."
I knew my cool façade was slipping and my vulnerable self was resurfacing but I couldn't stop it. Pleading was all I could do due to the disorder that is my mind. "I already promised to not mess with you guys or else I would've done it ages ago. Why are you guys so hell-bent on destroying me. All I did was EXIST and BREATHE. All I wanted was, was acceptance but I didn't get that and I MOVED ON like YOU GUYS wanted. So why are you... gramps liked the village. Sure it wasn't home, but it was the next best thing and he had friends. Why'd you move him? Did he want to move? Did he say he didn't want to see me again? What did you say about me? Please just..."
There was no noise from the other side, which lead me to believe he ended the call mid word vomit but soon after the thought, his expressionless and professional tone said one line, "I need to go back to work. Learn your place," before ending the call.
Which left me in a state of silent shock, the phone still tightly gripped next to my ear. After a moment, the grip loosens and the smartphone crashes onto the concrete, leaving behind a booming noise of glass cracking. Funny how the phone survives a tsunami and battering in trouser pockets but loses against a metre or so drop.
It was nothing at first. I felt nothing nor thought of anything, essentially being an empty shell looking out into the street and the heavy traffic. It was when someone bumped into me (and rudely walked away without an apology) that I finally snapped out of my daze.
That's when angst, depression and dread crushed on top of me. Externally, I was still a lifeless doll but if you looked into my eyes, you could see the turmoil, the darkness, the anguish. I was hyperventilating internally, on the verge of actually hyperventilating. Old and new thoughts come rushing through.
I didn't know what to do. What was I meant to do? Why me? I just wanted acceptance, approval, being welcomed. It's not my fault for my mother's actions, so why am I being blamed? Why are they taking away the only people I love? What did I do wrong this time? I'm trying my best. Why?... Maybe I am the problem... maybe Nero and George were wrong. Maybe they were trying to give me a false sense of security.
Then came the crushing feeling of guilt. Guilt I haven't felt in years. It's my fault. It's my fault that the family is broken. I'm a homewrecker. It's my fault that George can't be truly happy with his family. The desired family he always wanted. It's my fault he has to move away from a place he liked. It's all my fault.
Even with the gloom overtaking every part of me, I refused to show it outside. Call it instinct or habit, all I know was that it was a subconscious decision, holding back that is. Not showing the other side of me to anyone else. The lonely side. The burdensome side. The vulnerable side. Half my actual self. In a sense, half of me is a secret only known to one other.
I'm stranded on this godforsaken island of mine. The island of rejection.
And just like any other shitty angsty rom-com, there was a drop of water landing on top of my shoulder before it took five seconds for the grey clouds to cry their souls. Kind of what mine was doing. Everything is drenched. Everything is cold but all is ignored.
It made it that much harder to breaking down right there and then, in front of my workplace, in the middle of the CBD. But I managed to hold back, still remaining as a statue, still looking out into the street.
"Aiden?"
The voice was warm, unlike the chilling thoughts. The voice was familiar, just as familiar as the constant loneliness I feel. The voice was addictive, just like the warmth of another.
I slowly turned my head towards the direction of the entrance, still processing my name being called out. And fate once again put us together. I was captured in the golden eyes of the man holding open the door (located next to the rotating doors because they always seem to be there) almost immediately.
His eyes were bright but duller than usual. They were doused by the mixed look of confusion and concern and worry and sadness. Why are you so concerned? Why are you so sad? Who are you so worried about?
His lips moved again but I heard none of it, mainly due to the ringing in my ears, the sound of my shallow breathing and the noise of heavy raindrops crashing into everything. The rain immediately lightened up after he finished talking. Funny.
He was still looking at me with the same expression, this time concern intensified and that was when a bus of realisation hits me hard. The look was directed towards me. The look of concern, worry and sadness was for me. He looked troubled because I looked troubled.
My wellbeing actually mattered to him. I mattered to him. That's all I ever wanted.
All of a sudden, it was too much. I couldn't hold back. I couldn't take it anymore. Those eyes, those warm eyes was the trigger I couldn't deal with.
The previously pooling tears finally let way, running down my cheek and mingling with the rain droplets. You wouldn't be able to I was crying but somehow, Erwin knew (like he always does) because he began stepping forward with half his body now in the light shower.
He hesitated though, not knowing what to do. Whether I wanted him with me or not.
I did but I don't tell him.
Instead, I said the first thing that came to mind in a broken voice and a helpless tone.
"It's me, isn't it? It's my fault... my fault for never being wanted. It's the only consistent factor."
In a blink of an eye, I was pulled into a large, warm chest with arms wrapped around me with the grip tightened. My forehead was rested against his shoulder, my eyes wide open in shock and confusion. He said nothing, opting to just hold me tighter. The affection... it's too much. I can't–
And that was when I lost it.
I sobbed hard, harder than I had in the past five years. All the weight of the negative emotions being bottled up were finally being released through my tears, my cries and the clutching of the back of Erwin's blazer.
The other man accepted it all, snot and all.