A/n
Hi, and thanks for 1.5k+ reads! I'm excited for the next couple of chapters because we will finally get to see more of Itona, and he is also one of my favorites. Also, happy late birthday to Korosensei! I hope you enjoy today's chapter :) (Note: This is where you would switch to reading the Itona X Reader for a different ending)
"I gathered you all here today, even though we are all still on break, for a very important reason. Our nation's current egg surplus crisis. Poultry farmers across the land are throwing out their excess." Kayano announces from the front of the room.
"Right. I heard about that on the news. It's a real waste." Isogai says.
"It is! So I've dropped in a proposal to salvage those eggs and assassinate Korosensei in a way that's almost guaranteed to be foolproof." Kayano says as she holds up a cutely decorated folder, piquing the interest of my classmates.
"We're killing him with surplus eggs?" Nakamura asks.
"What? You gonna make an omelet and throw in a couple of these babies? Like he won't see that coming from a mile away." Terasaka scoffs as he tosses up a few BBs in the air and catching them. Kayano chuckles.
"I gave it a little bit more thought than that. In fact, my plan's already in motion, thanks to Mr.Karasuma." Kayano says as she turns to look at Irina and Mr.Karasuma who are observing us from a corner.
"Right. All the stuff you need has been set up outside." Karasuma confirms.
"Excellent. Everybody head to the yard!" Kayano orders. We go outside and see a giant mold covered with an orange tarp. I have a feeling that I will never want to so much as look at an egg again after this.
"So we have a ton of eggs, and a giant mold. Are we making..." Okuda starts before Kayano cuts her off.
"Yep! It's exactly what you think. We're going to whip up a ginormous pudding! I give you, operation pudding popper!" Kayano exclaims. The whole class started mumbling. This is the first time since the firework show that I've seen Karma. I can't believe I like him. When he first joined E class I honestly though I would hate him and being friends with him is different but it's nice. I don't really know what to do with my feelings. The world might end soon anyways so I don't think I should be focusing on that right now.
"Operation pudding popper huh? Well Korosensei does have a pretty big sweet tooth." Nagisa comments.
"Bingo! And the targets recent, crucial, confession only confirms it!" Kayano says before giving us a brief explanation of how they are pudding together. "So let's make that crazy dream a reality! Saving some for ourselves of course." Kayano says, her eyes glowing and Nagisa laughs nervously. "The idea is to plant bombs and anti-sensei BBs into the giant puddings base. When he eats his way to the bottom, we detonate!"
"This is starting to sound like its worth a shot." Isogai says.
"I'm with ya on that. Korosensei loses his marbles when it comes to anything sweet." Okajima says.
"And since Kayano's not usually this proactive, there's the element of surprise. He won't be suspicious." Takebayashi adds.
"Alright then. Let's wait until he's not around and make ourselves a giant pudding!" Isogai announces and everyone pumps a fist in the air and cheers. A bit later, after we've all prepared wearing aprons and such, we tear the tarp off of the mold and Kayano begins talking.
"This equipment comes from an inactive line in a mayonnaise factory. Once the eggs are prepped, they'll be going in here. Step one, crack 'em. Step two, with help from the government, we do the mixing manually. It's a lot of work but eyes on the prize." Kayano instructs. "Step three, add sugar and milk, lots of it. Plus some vanilla extract to give it flavor." Once she's done giving us instructions, we split up and get working at our stations, people occasionally asking questions. We stir all day and my arms begin to hurt. We have multiple layers with more cream the higher up it goes. We finally pour in the last batch.
"Okay, that's great. Once the molds full, drop the lid down and let the whole thing chill." Kayano says and after it's done we all line up in front of the mold again. "This isn't just any old pudding mold either. The outer walls are fitted with pipes that have coolants circulating through them. Pretty neat, huh? A pudding with this much volume needs to be chilled through, we're talking inside and out." Kayano says as everyone marvels at the giant pudding. Pudding is good and all, but I don't know how anyone could eat that much of it. That also does make a lot of sense considering we could never fit that thing in a fridge.
"Who in the world would've ever thought you could be an expert on giant pudding." Isogai remarks.
"She's got the engineering part down pat. And she knows how to make it taste good." Maehara adds in disbelief. At the end of the day, Karma approaches Kayano, who is sitting on the ground as I stand nearby with Nagisa.
"Nice work Kayano. You really thought all this up after reading an article on the countries egg surplus?" Karma asks.
"Sorta. Actually I've wanted to try and do this for a while now. And since the ministry of defense was willing to show up the money this time, I figured why not go for it? When my mind's fixed in something I just keep rolling, I guess." Kayano explains with a smile. The next day, we show up early to make sure the pudding was prepared properly.
"Once we let it chill overnight, we check to see if it's formed up enough. If it is, we remove the pipes. After that, we loosen the bolts holding the lid on place. Then we blow air between the walls of the mold and the pudding itself. Next, release internal lock!" Kayano orders and we do just that. We add the finishing touches and it looks really awesome. We stand, looking up and admiring our work. A few people, like Nakamura, take selfies and pictures.
"We did it!" Every cheers. Later, we had gotten Korosensei over and he was drooling. A lot.
"A..and I'm allowed to eat this whole thing?" He asks excitedly while pointing to the giant pudding.
"Oh, uh, sure. I just didn't want those eggs going to some landfill." Kayano laughs nervously.
"This was all Kayano's idea, you know." Nakamura says causing Kayano to blush and look away bashfully.
"You've made me so happy." Korosensei cries while grasping onto one of Kayano's hands in thanks.
"We'd better get going." Nakamura says.
"Yeah. Don't want to be late for English." Isogai adds.
"Now you've got to promise to eat every single bite." Kurahashi says.
"Not a problem! At last my dreams have come true!" Korosensei shouts before taking off while the rest of us head inside to watch. Kayano lingers behind a bit and Isogai ushers her inside.
"Wow, he's really getting after it." Sugaya comments as we all watch from the window as Korosensei begins to devour the giant pudding.
"I have a feeling it won't be very long til he reaches the bottom." Okajima says.
"Don't worry. I've installed a security camera into the base. I'm keeping my eye on it." Takebayashi says as he stays fixated on his computer screen. "The second he reaches the bomb, we'll detonate it be remote control. We'll know he's eaten his way to it when light starts pouring in."
"My pudding... It'll be..." Kayano mumbles as she stares wistfully out the window. "MY PUDDING!" She screams in dismay before repetitively whacking her head on the window in front of her. "I can't let something I put my heart and soul into be blown to smithereens!"
"Kayano, take it easy." Sugino says.
"It's a damn pudding, not the family pet. It's supposed to be blown to smithereens!" Terasaka says as he pulls Kayano away from the window whilst she struggles against his hold. Wow, she must really like pudding.
"It can't! It should stand in the school yard forever as a monument!" She screams while the rest of us cringe at how nasty it would be once it goes bad. Suddenly, Korosensei appears in front of us.
"Whew, my jaws need a break. By the way, amid all the deliciousness I caught a faint whiff of this." Korosensei says as he holds up the now neutralized bomb we had planted in the pudding. Well crap. It's not the first time a plan of ours has failed, but it's still disappointing. And my arms still hurt from all that stirring. "I ate a path in caramel to pudding to dirt and proceeded to tunnel underneath to remove it. I assume the bomb was your handiwork, Takebayashi?" Korosensei asks as he hold the bomb in his mouth. Takebayashi hums in confirmation and nods his head. Korosensei tilts his head back and eats the bomb. "Well, your calculations were spot on and if I had not picked up on the distinct smell of plastic explosives, your scheme may have very well worked. Next time you'll account for strange odors, right?" Korosensei presses.
"Right..." Takebayashi answers disappointedly as Korosensei laughs at us.
"C'est la vie. Since you've all worked together to create this concoction, you should enjoy it together. I set aside a nice, clean portion for each of you." Korosensei says as he reveals a table with a cup of pudding on it for each of us.
"So he gets the drop on us once again." Maehara says while Kayano's eyes practically bulge out of her head when she gets her pudding.
"And it was such as clever idea too." Kanzaki adds.
"Incidentally, consuming eggs headed for the landfill is, strictly speaking, a violation of sound economic principles, so we'll be exploring the complex role of a perishable food surplus in our next civics lesson." Korosensei says while holding up a book.
"Yes sir." The whole class groans. Me, Karma, Kayano, and Nagisa eat our pudding by the windows near Kayano and Nagisa's desks.
"Kind of a shame, isn't it? I'll bet you're relieved though." Nagisa says to Kayano who giggles. "Honestly, no offense, but I didn't think you had it in you to be so hard core. It was cool to watch, a nice change of pace." Nagisa says as me and Karma hum in agreement.
"That's what it is to be an assassin. Not even your close friends get to see your true blade." Kayano responds, pointing at Korosensei with a wink before talking more about pudding. I finish up my pudding and put my glass back down on the table Korosensei had originally put them on, Karma coming up behind me and doing the same. He looks at me before laughing a bit and grabbing a napkin from the table. Then he reaches it out and wipes the corner of my mouth.
"Didn't peg you as a messy eater." He teases while I flush slightly.
"You could've just told me, I could wipe it myself. And I don't normally get food on myself." I say as I look down.
"Don't worry, you're still cute." Karma says, patting my head before he discards the napkin and walks back to his desk. Did he just call me cute? I swear this boy can read minds. There's no way he could know I like him, right? I haven't told anyone and I don't think I've been too obvious, I mean, it's not abnormal for us to hang out since we're friends and all. The first official day back from break, Mr.Karasuma had us doing parkour through the forest while also playing cops and robbers, us being the robbers, and our teachers being the cops. We all race through the undergrowth trying to get as far away from the starting point as possible.
"Okajima, Hayami, Chiba, and Fuwa are out." Ritsu chimes from my phone. Shoot. If they're already out, what chance do I stand? Well, best not think too hard now, that would distract me from running away. Ritsu continues to report our fallen soldiers which now includes Sugaya and Professor Bitch as well. Me, Karma, Okuda, Sugino, Kayano, and Nagisa had decided to stick together and we are now stopped at a rock.
"Uh oh, we're dropping like flies." Kayano panics as she looks at her phone, Nagisa and Okuda hovered over her shoulders.
"We should rename this place mount slaughter." Okuda says.
"They just got tagged out, right?" Nagisa points out.
"Hmm, wait a second. This is cops and robbers.. technically-" Okuda starts rambling before Sugino cuts her off.
"We could tag 'em back in! Okuda your a genius!" Sugino exclaims before taking off toward where Korosensei was holding our classmates.
"Yeah, sure. Have fun. Like anybody's breaking out of jail with the supersonic octopus on duty." Karma says sarcastically. "If it was possible to come in under his radar, we'd have offed him months ago."
"Yes, it's extremely unlikely that we'd just get away with that." I agree. Sugino then signs to Okajima and makes a plan that allows all of our captive classmates to escape, though leaving Irina with the octopus.
"Four prisoners freed." Ritsu reports, though Yada, Kimura, Takebayashi, and Hara are immediately captured after so the amount of prisoners remain the same until they also manage to escape. Suddenly, a whistle blew from our phones.
"Times up! Game over." Ritsu says. We return to the starting point and Karasuma chews Korosensei out for letting everybody except Miss Bitch escape. I'm happy and surprised to say I hadn't been caught. However, the next day at school we got some unpleasant news. There was a magazine with an article about a figure, described suspiciously similarly to Korosensei, who had done some unsavory things. When Korosensei walked through the door, lots of my classmates looked at him in disgust whereas I could barely look at him at all. Korosensei picked up the magazine sitting on the desk and began reading.
"They're totally talking about you, aren't they?" Okano asks.
"How could you do that stuff?" Mimura asks.
"We're very disappointed in you sir." Kataoka says, her arms crossed.
"Wait! I'm innocent! I don't even know anything about this!" Korosensei claims.
"So, have an alibi?" Hayami questions.
"An a-what now?" Korosensei asks.
"Where were you on the evenings of the incidents, in question? And can anybody back you up?" Hayami inquires.
"Let me see... I was vigorously shaking a bag of seasoned fries, alternating between an altitude of ten thousand meters and three thousand meters respectively." Korosensei says.
"No one can back that up!" Mimura exclaims.
"That's enough guys. Come on, he's not a perv. He's done some creepy things, sure, but even if you add them all together, what've you really got?" Isogai asks before elaborating. "He's read some adult magazines, been bribed with dirty pictures, stared intently at pinups during recess, spammed lingerie companies with requests to let him give their models a tentacle bra...." Isogai trails off, realizing that there's is plenty of instances for reasonable suspicion. "Korosensei, just turn yourself in." He says, cringing.
"Not you too Isogai! This is an outrage! I stand wrongfully accused. Don't you believe me? Very well, to the teachers lounge. I'll show you what kind of upright citizen I can be!" Korosensei exclaims before we all head to the teachers lounge. Once we get there, he pulls open a drawer filled with magazines as the whole class piles into the room to observe.
"Behold, my pinup stash. I'll toss every last one of them without so much as a twinge if reservation!" Korosensei says as he frantically empties the drawer, eventually pulling out a bra. The whole class freezes and sucks in a breath. What... This can't be true. I didn't want to believe it earlier, but now...
"You're kidding." Terasaka says disgustedly as he leans against the doorframe.
"Oh my god guys. Check out the roll book!" Okano says as she shows it to us. "He put letters by all the girls names. Korosensei knows our cup sizes." I shiver in disgust. Who in the right mind would do something like that? It's sick.
"Huh? What the hell is forever flat supposed to mean you eight armed, two legged, emoji faced-" Kayano shouts angrily, waving the roll book around as Okuda holds her back, a piece of paper fluttering our from the book. Maehara catches the paper and starts talking, cutting Kayano off.
"And what's this? A breakdown of all the girls in Kunigigaoka with an F cup or above?" Maehara asks with a scowl on his face, presenting the paper to everyone.
"Wait, I- That can't possibly be mine!" Korosensei says, sweating profusely. We were all either glaring at him or avoiding eye contact, causing Korosensei to laugh nervously. "You know what we need, a good, old fashioned barbecue after school, doesn't that sound fun?" Korosensei panics while pulling out a cooler. "Here, get a load of these succulent skewers I threw together!" Korosensei presents us with a bunch of bras on skewers. Hmm, now that I think about it... This seems to staged. There's no way Korosensei would have done that on purpose. If he didn't want to be found out, he wouldn't be found out. Plus, why are we finding all of this now? You'd think we would have at least noticed a few things before if they were this horribly hidden. Everyone, including Miss Bitch and Karasuma, stare daggers at him.
"Wow." Sugino says.
"This is nauseating." Kataoka says.
"Gross." Okano mumbles. Not soon enough, the end of the day bell rung.
"That.. That's all for today, b.. boys and girls. I uh, I'll see you tomorrow." Korosensei says weakly before leaving the room. Once he's out, Karma starts laughing.
"We certainly put the octopus through the ringer, didn't we? Ha, some people just can't take the heat." Karma says as Nagisa abruptly stands up and faces the redhead.
"Is he really stealing underwear? That'd be pretty serious. I mean, we're talking an actual crime." Nagisa says.
"Compared to blowing up the Earth, I'd say it's precious." Karma replies.
"Okay, but-" Nagisa starts, only for Karma to cut him off.
"I don't know what I'd do with super speed, but I can tell you one thing, if I stole underwear, I sure as hell wouldn't be sloppy enough to leave evidence behind." Karma says, looking amused as he throws a basketball with a bra on it at Nagisa. "I found that in the equipment shed. Korosensei's no fool. He understands, knows he'd be dead to us over something like this. His whole life is about being a teacher. Between losing our respect and being assassinated, everyone knows which of those things he'd go more out of his way to avoid." Karma says.
"Actually, I noticed that too. There's no way Korosensei would be that careless. It all seems too staged. What are the chances of no evidence being present and then one day, right after that article was released, evidence starts popping up everywhere around Korosensei? Adding onto what Karma said, he wouldn't risk losing our respect like that." I say.
"Yeah, I'd have to agree with you guys." Nagisa says, looking down and smiling. Suddenly Kayano stands up as well.
"Then who's the sicko doing all this stuff?" She asks.
"An imposter." Fuwa says, causing all eyes to move to her.
"Fuwa.." Kayano murmurs.
"That color. That laugh. We're dealing with an archetype. A fake sensei! The double, the doppelgänger, oldest super villain trope in the book!" She exclaims. "Which means our culprit is intimately familiar with Korosensei and his quirks. Hey, let's me and you play detective, Ritsu."
"Yes." Ritsu says, her outfit changing to a standard detective one. Karma gets up and starts walking around.
"Something along those lines. As for what's in this for the real culprit, you're guess is as good as mine. But we've got to put a stop to him. If the rumor mill runs Korosensei out of town, there goes our bounty, then what's all this been for? We'll lose our shot at this. If, on the other hand, we catch the real guy ourselves, teach will be in our debt." Karma explains.
"Yeah!" Me, Nagisa, Fuwa, and Ritsu agree.
"Forever flat..." Kayano growls. Me, Karma, Kayano, Nagisa, and Fuwa, along with Terasaka, decide to investigate. We all meet up and are now waiting at the site of where we predict the target to strike next, hiding behind a car. Karma arrives last, vaulting over a wall and landing next to me.
"Ha. Justice will prevail now that the great, and very mature, detective is on the case." Fuwa murmurs.
"You say on the case, I say exploiting our parkour skills to trespass." Nagisa says.
"Hey, remind me again. Of all the places in town, what makes us so sure the creeper's gonna strike here next?" Terasaka asks and Fuwa turns towards him to explain.
"First off, this place is a camp for pro entertainers. The cinched though, a phenomenally popular, but sjongalicious girl group has been staying in here for the past couple of weeks." Fuwa explains as she holds up her phone to show Ritsu.
"Right. And based on the suspects profile, the probability that he'll show is 99.78%." Ritsu confirms.
"Indeed, because camps over after tomorrow, and no way is our man going to let these top tier trophies slip through his fingers!" Fuwa explains excitedly while Terasaka hums in understanding. We all peels out from behind the car to observe the area, the laundry being hung up on lines in the yard. Then we spot Korosensei creeping around in the bushes nearby.
"Korosensei!" Nagisa says in a surprised tone. "Okay, please say that he's here to nab the bad guy too." Nagisa says as he slides back down, crouching behind the car.
"That kind of thing isn't exactly helping to prove his innocence." Terasaka whispers.
"Look! He's so pissed off at the real criminal that looking at all that underwear gets him steamed!" Fuwa says. Fuwa, I don't think that's why he's blushing.
"Right. Wrongfully accused my ass." Terasaka scoffs.
"Heads up." Karma alerts us as he sees a figure run across the lawn that is definitely not Korosensei. Thank goodness for that. We're not out of he clear just yet though.
"Someone's here!" Kayano exclaims.
"A big guy with a yellow head." Nagisa says.
"So it was a poser." I whisper, mostly to myself.
"Look at him move. That's not normal." Terasaka says.
"Uh oh, he's getting away!" Kayano exclaims before Korosensei jumps out of the bushes and tackles the figure.
"Gotcha! How dare you impersonate me and act out my lewd fantasies?" Korosensei asks as he pins the person down. "Well, so long as everybody thinks I'm pilfering unmentionables, I might as well take yours." Korosensei says, laughing.
"I don't know, I think this might make him worse than an underwear thief." Nagisa says as we all step out from behind the car.
"The eyewitness reports were right about his head." Karma says.
"Now, let's see your true face. Imposter!" Korosensei says as he rips the mask off to reveal one of the agents that works for Karasuma.
"Hang on, isn't that guy Mr.Karasuma's underling?" Kayano asks, pointing to the man.
"It would seem so." I respond.
"You? What earthly reason could you have to-" Korosensei is cut off as something springs up from the ground with a loud rumbling and crashing sound. Karma unconsciously takes a step in front of me as the dust starts to disperse, revealing a pen of some sort.
"The government was kind enough to let me have one of Karasuma's men on load. I required a decoy to lead you into this pen of anti-sensei sheets." A voice I recognize as Shiro says as he walks out of the darkness and towards the pen. "Not unlike the ruse your students devised on he island, yes? Such nimble minds the young have. Lure, confine, and strike. Now then, Korosensei, let your final death match begin." Shiro says before snapping his fingers, a shadow flies up into the air, tentacles sprawling out in every direction. It must be Itona.
"So strong. But compared to me, so weak."