Setting
Bumblebee has been struggling with his depression as far as he can remember. When he joined Autobots, Ratchet took a psychological evaluation and put him on antidepressants. However, with the recent unrelenting attacks from the Decepticons and the Wolfcons, the team has failed to notice Bumblebee's lack of pills.
Warning: Self-Hate,... Also a little fluffy
Bumblebee's PoV
The team was ambushed by Decepticons for what felt like the millionth time. "I swear, it's like they put a tracker on me!", Prowl shouted in annoyance. One of the jets had snatched him out the shadows like he was nothing. I gazed out the window and watched the dark array of clouds. "It's gonna rain soon.", I interrupted Optimus and Bulkhead's argument. "Oh, I should go tell Sari. She hates all kinds of storms.", Bulkhead worriedly sighed as the clouds lit up with electricity. "I'll be in my berthroom if anyone needs me... Which I doubt you will.", I mumbled the last part under my breath.
"'Scuse me?", Ratchet said, spinning around in his seat. "Nothing.", I said, leaving the MedBay and heading to the berthrooms. Honestly, I normally wouldnt mind the storm. In fact, I found the sound of rain soothing, but I was looking forward to going to the forest later, to my safe field. I realised, as I sat on my berth, I forgot to tell Ratchet the one thing that and been on my mind for months: I needed to refill my medicine... But then again, he has to deal with a bunch of other damage right now... Maybe tomorrow.
I grabbed one of my pillows and hugged it to my chest, pulling my knee pads up to the pillow as well for extra reassurance. I don't think Ratchet would care I'm missing my antidepressants if I brought it up. I frowned and felt my horns twitch at the sound of a few bots arguing in the corridor. Probably Bulkhead and Optimus again, or Prowl and Optimus. I couldn't hear the other person over the Bossman's voice.
I took out my datapad and opened my weather tracker. I felt a smile tug at the corner of my lips as I noticed the storm was going to barely pass us. I decided that if I was gonna got to my area, I should probably go now. I opened the secret Autobot chat, but I felt myself freeze. Why would they care if I was gone? The probably wouldn't even notice. It would be better to just go. But then again, getting scolded by Optimus or lectured by Ratchet doesn't seem like a good thing right now; they're both pissed.
Let's just go. They don't care about me. No one does. I can just make up an excuse like I have time and time again.
I put my pillow back and hopped off my berth, grabbing a thermal coat and putting my datapad in one of the pockets. The arguing had since ceased in the hall, and since most everyone was recharging in their room, they wouldn't notice I was gone, even if I was missing for a few weeks... Primus that sounds nice, to just leave base for a month or two and come back with nothing changed.
Blitzwing's PoV
That bucketheaded mech! I groaned as I thought of today's events. Megatron had decided to double down on the ambushes on the Autobots, but we've also managed to get ourselves in the crosshairs of the Wolfcons! And when we got ambushed by them, it took them 5 hours to get backup when the base was 2 hours away! I stomped down the hill, the ground not really agreeing to this action as it shook slightly.
I frowned as I came across a clearing. I didn't really want to be out in the open, but something caught my eye. A small mech, painted yellow and black- WAIT, THAT'S THE AUTOBOT, BUMBLEBEE! I freaked out for a second, until I realised...
Where's his team?
The other Autobots were nowhere to be seen, and I wasn't picking up any signals other than the scout in front of me. Actually, now that I think about it, Bee hasn't seemed himself for a while. His movements are sloppier than their normal energetic precision, and he seemed to be sad than his usual mood. He always struck me as the happy-go-lucky of the Autobots, but the past few months have only proved that to be utter nonsense. However, this does beg the question -- do I go talk to him and risk being attacked, or should I just leave him be?
3rd Person PoV
Random deciding that curiosity is stronger than his self preservation and more important than his safety, Blitzwing approached Bumblebee quietly. "Hallo, Hummelchen.", the Decepticon spoke softly for once. As for the Autobot? He jumped anyway, getting on his feet in one swift movement and turning on his heel. "Decepticon! What do you want?!", the scout shouted, changing one of his servos into a stinger. "Calm down, ein only vere to talk.", Icy responded before Random or Hothead could. "Yeah right!", the smaller said, not letting his guard down so easy. "Someving's off, vhere's jour team?", Blitz asked, kneeling down to Bee's level.
Bumblebee's PoV
No! No no no NO! I am not ACTUALLY gonna put down my guard, am I?! But at the same time, who cares? He probably just wants to kill me, and I think it would just be better of he did. "They're back at base.", I responded, changing my stinger back into a servo and crossing my arms. "Someving else is off, vhy ze lack of energy?", the Decepticon asked. I think I should stay quiet, so I will. I turned around on my heel again and took a seat again, but I did pat the ground to signal him to sit.
Click, click, whirrr
"Veally? Jou can't just tell us?!", I heard Hothead aggressively stomp his pedes on the ground. I unvoluntarily tense up at the sound. I hated when people we angry. I think he must've seen my reaction, because I heard the whirring again. Soft steps were now coming closer, and Blitzwing now sat next to me on the forest floor. "Sorry, today's got me very... Frustrated.", Icy said in his usual monotone voice.
Why hasn't he attacked me yet?
"I'm not under any orzers to jo so, Hummelchen.", the triple changer seemed to read his mind. "I- huh?". "Jou asked vhy I hadn't attacked jou vet?". Oh, I must've said that out loud. "Oh, uh, I didn't mean to say that aloud.", I nervously started fidgeting with my digits. "So, vould jou like to talk avout vhat's wrong?", the German mech inquired, adjusting his posture.
I took a second. Should I tell him? I feel vulnerable as slag right now. I'll just tell him a chunk, but without thinking, I asked, "Do you think the Autobots would care if I through myself from a skyscraper?". I immediately clasped my servos over my mouth. I did not just say that! There is one rule when it comes to talking to Deceptions outside of combat; Don't. Show. Emotions. I heard whirring as Blitzwing shifted from Icy to Hothead. "And jho made jou vink zat?!", he shouted, "Of course vey'd care!".
"How do you know?!", I felt coolant start to drop from my optics. I buried my face in my servos, waiting for Blitzwing's Hothead persona to go off on me.
.
.
.
"Hummelchen,", I felt the Decepticon shift his positioning, "vhy vould jou even vink of committing suicide in ze first place?". His tone was soft, I had to look up to see which side it was. Random's jack-o-lantern face stared right back down, his usual smile was turned to a worried frown. "I...", I felt the coolant start running down my face faster as I choked back a sob. "I just wanna disappear, the universe would be so much better without me and we both know that!", I shouted. It was true, I only caused pain, confusion; I was only an annoying scout, not anyone, or anything, helpful or important.
"Zat is far from vat I vink.", the taller mech leaned forward, trying to catch a glimpse of my face. I trembled as I let my servos fall to my lap, allowing him to see the tears running down my face. "Well, if that's not what you think, than what DO you think?", I asked, wiping some of my tears with a servo. "I vink zat jou are ze most intevesting chavacter in ze Autovots,", he replaced my servo with his own, wiping away my tears for me, "and ze team vould ve zo much more boving if jou veren't zere.".
Blitzwing's PoV
'Don't comfort the enemy by yourself,' Megatron briefed, 'just call for backup,' he said. Like I was gonna get Lugnut, Knockout, and Starscream while this Autobot, his enemy, had a mental breakdown! And I could've just left him, but nooooo I just had to come and comfort him... But what I was saying was true. Bumblebee was, indeed, the most interesting Autobot. His bright yellow paint job contrasted heavily against the white and dull colors of the rest, such as Ratchet with his dull orange on white and Optimus Prime with his dull red and blue on white. He was also much smaller, but it allowed him much more agility and flexibility instead of being a handicap. Bumblebee was easily the most loyal to the Autobots, never making a peep when he was held hostage before.
"...how so? I'm so unnoticeable when compared to the others. I mean, they deserve the recognition and I don't deserve slag, I'm just a nuisance to them. Also, how would YOU know about our personalities?", the small mech asked, reaching his own servo up to meet my own, carressing mine while I carressed his cheek. "Leibe Beine, jou mustn't let jour voughts get to jou," I let Icy take control for the last part, "also, don't tell me jou don't notize us, ze entivety of Decepticons, from Megatron to a simple seeker, staring at jou vhile jou vight someone else.".
I saw his face flush blue. He began to say something, but kept stumbling over his words as his face grew even more hot. I felt my own face grow a little hot as well. I gently pulled Bee into my lap. He let his chim rest on my chassis as he stared up at me. "Um, Blitzwing? I need to go back soon.", he whispered softly. I hummed, a little upset. I was genuinely enjoying this time with him and didn't want it to end. Whirr.
"Do ve have jo?", Icy switched to Random, and I hugged the scout tighter to my body. "Oof! Too tight!", he rapidly smacked my chassis repeatedly, trying to get me to loosen my grip. "And yes, we both have to go back to our respective bases.".
Timeskip
Bumblebee's PoV
I walked through the halls, heading towards MedBay to find Ratchet. After my talk with Blitzwing, I found the courage to go tell Ratchet I was missing my medication. I took a step into the organized area and looked over to Ratchet. He was dogging through his pill cabinet, trying to find something.
"If you're looking for my antidepressants, than maybe this si a good time to tell you that I've been missing them for months."
"Oh- oH SLAG, BEE I'M SO SORRY!"