𝐝𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐥𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐦 𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐦𝐬
09.45 pm- 7th floor corridor
Raven was wandering around aimlessly through the quiet corridors, the contents of the letter that she'd recieved that morning playing on her mind like a broken record.
I need you to send me at least 60 galleons.
You know what it's for.
You know what it's for.
You know what it's for.
You know what it's for.
You know what its for.
It made her want to scream 'yes, I know what it's for. Well fucking done, would you like an award!'
Raven says she hates her mother. There is no question about it.
There are many complex reasons for this, one example may be that the only time her mother danes to grace Raven with her lovely presence is when;
One, Claudette needs something.
Two, Claudette is either piss drunk or too far gone to even know what century it is and suddenly remembers she has a daughter to complain about all the tragedies in her life too, either that or take out some of that pent up anger on.
Or three when Claudette needs to keep up her perfect pureblood image.
Though, she cant really complain, Raven supposes. It was her fault after all. It was always her fucking fault.
She suppressed the urge to take out her pent up agression on the innocent hard stone walls of the corridor, craving the release of the pain and the satisfaction of admiring the damage as she rubbed her eyes, her vision growing dark for a second before returning as she felt her eyeliner smudge even more. Her feet continued to carry her down the hallway.
I cant just punch the walls. What did the walls ever do to you? Huh? Except exist. And look so fucking punchable.
The marauders had a plan. One that Raven already knows about.
During the previous classes, Raven had been quiet, not that she wasn't usually, however this type of quiet was concerning given the events of that morning.
So natrually the four dumb gryffindors thought it would be a smashing idea to kidnap their slightly scary Ravenclaw friend and drag her to their dorm to try and get her to talk.
I cant be upset now? Is that it? Maybe I just didnt want to deal with other peoples stupidity today. Maybe, I just didnt want to try and make conversation with someone who has the mental capacity of wet fucking paint.
Not that the plan would work, the only person that knew the extent of her home life was Regulus, and she planned on keeping it that way. The worry and concearn it would cause would just be an unnecessary burden. Not to mention the questions that would follow couldnt really be answered, Raven would take those secrets to the grave if she must.
Raven stopped walking and perched herself on one of the windowsills of the corridor outside of the fat lady's portrait, a smoldering cigarette placed between her fingers as she watched the grey smoke rise and dissappear into the air, the warm torchlight piercing through the thick condensation.
The line between love and hate was a thin one, Raven says she hates her mother, there is no question about it. However she still cared. She worried what would happen to her mother when she was at hogwarts. She cared when she sat outside of an isolated hospital room in st mungos, staring at the clean wall infront of her, feeling nothing yet everything at the same time.
Healers walking past with poorly hidden worry for the young girl who sat on the floor outside of the isolated hospital room, looking like she was feeling nothing yet everything at the same time.
Claudette Fawley had previously written that Raven knew what the money was for. Money that fed into a crippling and destructive addiction that Raven had acknowledged that she wholeheartedly caused.
Not technically on purpose, but she had caused it all the same. The constantly concealed burn scars on her arms and abdomen served as a reminder.
Raven could have just given in and carelessly sent her mum the money. Though something in her subconscious stopped her.
Maybe it was the childlike hope that her mother would give up, seen as she hadn't gotten what she wanted so easily. Maybe it was something else entirely.
But she needed to push that care down. Deep down, into the pits of hell and burrow it straight through the earths core. Love would only get her hurt and care would only cause dissapointment and wasted energy. The thought of it made Raven disgusted with herself slightly.
Love was weak. It was all an act and a lie. The dastardly four letter word was mearly a constructed sentiment manufactured for fictional plot lines in the works of literature. It was an illogical, immature and absentminded abstraction.
But once again, the line between love and hate was a thin one.
And Raven hated that she loved her mother.
___
"How are we even supposed to bring her here?" Sirius started as the four boys opened the portrait, not yet noticing Raven.
"Its not like she'll be anticipating it!"
"She probably will be, you degenerate! Its Raven Fawley."
"Uh, guys?" Peter sheepishly tapped James on the shoulder, stopping in his tracks as he noticed the girl, always ten steps ahead that one.
They continued bickering.
"She's just her usual insensitive pigeon- like self. I mean she's not some all knowing god for fucks-"
"Are we so sure? I mean, are we really sure!"
"Hello?" Peter said exasperatedly in a sing song voice, dragging out the 'o'. Waving his hand sarcastically as he was once again ignored. Ravens calculating eyes were watching the scene in amusement, taking an unbothered drag of her cigarette, leaning against the wall with an arm folded across her chest.
"For all we know she could be some intergalactic cybor-"
"Guys!"
"What!" The remaining three boys snapped their head towards Peter in a comical fashion.
The mousy boy raised his eyebrows in frustration as he dramaticly flung his arms forward in the direction of Raven, palms facing upward as his arms were stretched out infront of him, still staring at the three boys with an unnervingly manic smile.
Their faces dropped in realisation and each slowly turned their heads to look at the Ravenclaw in unison. The whole scene still rather comical and increasingly chaotic.
"Speak of the devil and she shall appear." Raven said in a whimsical tone, with a small mischievous smile on her face, however her eyes were tired.
Your eyeliner is smudged. You've been rubbing your eyes as if you're agitated about something. And it should look like a mess. You should look like you're completely off the fucking rails, but it only highlights the depth of your eyes. Its something I adore about you. Your eyes. They're cold and look like they can see right through someone. One glance at them and you know anything. Everything.
Her gaze flickered Sirius, merely raising her brows almost like she is trying to open his mind and read him like one of her books.
She put her cigarette out on the wall behind her, staring the group down. She then walked forwards and glided past the boys entering the common room, the gryffindors feeling the hairs on the back of their necks standing on end. Not in a way of threat, she just had that effect on people.
The marauders stood in empty silence for a few moments.
Until Remus muttered, "Well shit," and the boys all snapped out of whatever mutual trance they were in and followed her back to their dorm.
Raven pushed the door to the boys dorms open and stepped inside, closing the door gently behind her.
The Gryffindoor dorms were different compared to the blue and bronze Ravenclaw ones. Dark wood tones with accents of red and gold were comforting to the eye.
Raven sat on the red sofa that was positioned in one of the more secluded spots in the marauders dorm, knees tucked into her chest. They wanted to find her so she just came to them. It was inevitable and a completely pointless task to try and get out of.
The door opened quietly as the marauders walked in, stupid, pestering concearn etched across their faces.
"Maybe just one of us should go over." James talked quietly as to not disturb the peace too much, the sight of the girl zoned out and silent in the corner of their dorm room without a trace of emotion worried them more than they'll admit.
Sirius could hear his heart beat amplified in his ears. He knew that something suspicious was going on with Raven and her parents. He didn't know what was in the contents of the letter. Hell, there was a lot of things he didnt know. However, the fidgeting of her ring was a give a way that she was anxious about something. He wanted to find out what.
Remus quietly said "Sirius." Making the boy in question turn his head and focus his attention on the tall boy. "You go, we'll head to the common room." He said with a small incline of his head towards the Ravenclaw.
The black haired boy nodded his head slowley before making his way towards Raven who was pulling out a cigarette and lighting it.
"Im not going to ask if you're okay, because I know you'll just avoid answering," Sirius said from behind her, she looked up to see him climbing over the back of the sofa to sit next to her. "But I wish you wouldn't."
She laughed under her breath in tired amusement before rhetorically asking, "Did you honestly expect any different?" Her voice surprisingly soft as he took the cigarette from her hand and took a drag of his own, studying her facial expression.
"I know that you're not a very emotional person," he started carefully. "But you need to talk about stuff, its not healthy." You need to talk to me.
The girl sighed and closed her eyes, resting her head on the cushion next to her, he pulled her legs up and placed them on his lap.
"I don't need to do anything." She muttered in a calm stubbornness.
Sirius sighed in frustration, shaking his head slightly. Stubborn bird.
"Okay, were going to play a game." He finally exclaimed as if he giving a child a stern talking to.
Raven gave a small snort in amusement and slight disbelief, how old did he think she was? Nine?
"A game?"
"Yes, a game." He uttered with a small smile on his face. He turned to face Raven to find she was already looking at him. Studying him almost, raising her eyebrows to gesture him to continue.
"Its a game that I call 'Sirius asks Raven something about herself, and she actually answers', its thrilling, I assure you." He remarked, waving his hands in the air, wiggleing his fingers in a subtle jazz hands to prove his point.
"Well, I better brace myself then." She simpered sarcastically. Woman of a few words, that one.
Sirius suddenly looked thoughtful, quietly asking, "Why dosent anybody know anything about you?"
She was silent for a few moments, pondering her answer, "Because they only know what I want them to know."
"Is that why you act all, mysterious-y, all the time." He asked carefully and with genuine interest. Raven Fawley was undeniably a mystery, and he wanted to solve it.
"I am, the way I am," Raven chose her words carefully, the point coming out calculated, "because I actually have some working brain cells." She said humorously. "People fear the unknown, the mystery. Thats why I present myself as such." She finished, as Sirius furrows his brows in thought, running a hand up and down her calf drawing shapes with his finger.
"You want people to be scared of you?" He muttered quietly, trying to keep his tone steady.
"Its something I can control." She said quietly and made eyecontact with him. She couldn't help but admire the colour of them. They were a sort of grey that was similar to charcol. Dark and brooding. They reminded Raven of a cloudy sky right before it rains.
"Plus," She laughed slightly. "I dont really have a say in the matter do I?" She asked rhetorically. She lowered her voice to a sarcastic whisper, "They're all scared of the big bad Raven Fawley."
He smiled slightly, admiring the blue colour of her eyes.
I noticed the contrast between your eyes and your personality. Your eyes, in colour, are light and have a transparency to them that represents the way that they can see straight through you.I also wonder what dark secrets they hold. Because I know that you have a lot of fucked up things hidden. After all, the eyes are the windows to the soul.
Sirius thought that Raven as a whole could be compared to the moon. Raven is the moon, enticingly mysterious and completely and utterly perplexing. And- she does have quite a nice smile, even though its not shown often.
If Sirius thought Raven Fawley to be the moon, then Raven thought Sirius Black to be the stars.
At first glance, the stars are beautiful. They're pretty and something that people look at but never go any further. Until you learn the names of the constellations and the storys behind them, thats when you really get to know the stars. Thats when you think that they're completely preposessing.
The moon and the stars are ment to exist with one another. So, in the night sky above the two purebloods, the stars shone and the moon was brighter than usual. They existed. Together. Looking down on everything around them. Including the two souls perfectly comfortable on the couch. Existing with one another.
What a pretty picture, the moon and the stars.
Hiya
So
Sorry the update took ages
This story has also been added to loads of reading lists so just want to say thank you sm!! :)
Dont forget to vote! It rly helps
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