By five o'clock, Andrew felt ready to break something. Or worse, lose his temper and shout out his frustration.
Who had made Meredith this way? Who had beaten down her own desires until she was afraid to voice something as simple as what kind of food she wanted for lunch? He could tell she didn't really like the Italian place he'd chosen, but she'd simply accepted it as her due. But for what?
Before today, he'd never realized how terrible she was at asking for things for herself, because she didn't seem to have a problem asking for things for others, or for Harbor. Until today, that had been the extent of their interaction, too. But working in such close quarters like this, he had finally seen that when it came to things that were just for herself, she retreated. Clammed up, disappeared, avoided, as though she were trying to make herself invisible.
Leanne, his executive assistant, appeared in the doorway. "Excuse me." She nodded to both of them in turn. "The senator is here, Andrew."
Damn it. He had forgotten about the meeting.
"Of course, Leanne. We'll only be another minute. Do you mind showing him to the conference room?"
Leanne nodded and walked away, and Meredith jumped up immediately, gathering up her things and stuffing them into her laptop bag. "Oh, I'm so sorry. I should have remembered that you had a meeting. I—I'll head to my office and try to keep going through the other account statements, since I haven't gotten anything back from the bank yet. The manager said she'd try to send me information by Monday at the latest, but I was hoping to get something by now."
What a mess. Poor Meredith looked frazzled, and he didn't want her to carry the stress into this evening. She was doing him a favor by going as his date, and he wanted her to enjoy herself.
"Don't bother with the other statements, at least for tonight. Even if you find something, we won't be able to do anything about it until everything opens again on Monday morning. You may as well get going, anyway, to get ready for the gala."
Meredith looped her bag over her shoulder and nodded. "Okay, great. I mean, it's not great that we haven't gotten any answers! I just meant that sounds like a good plan." She was speaking too quickly and throwing nervous glances toward the closet as though a bogeyman were going to jump out of it.
Or maybe an evening gown. He wondered if she'd actually take the dress without him offering again. She may have felt daring enough to accept it this morning, but with a full day behind them, would she still be so bold?
Bold for Meredith, that is.
Perhaps it was cruel of him, but Andrew refused to let Meredith off the hook this time. He had watched her work all day long and knew how sharp and assertive she could be when it came to her work and the commitments of Harbor's employees. There was no way he was going to allow her to shrink away from something she'd already laid claim to.
He told himself it was because he wanted her to be a part of the new company he was trying to launch. In order to make the venture a success, she would have to be capable of reaching out and taking hold of anything she needed. But there was another part of him that knew it was also because he wanted her to reach out and take hold of him. She walked over to the closet and opened the door. He held his breath, but she merely pulled her coat out of it. Belatedly, he remembered his manners, and rushed over the help her put it on. He could see the dress just inside the dark wood cabinet. Light bounced off the sparkly things in the skirt, making it look like it was giving him a conspiratorial wink.
Take the dress, he willed her.Take the dress and let me see your bare shoulders tonight.
God, was he going crazy? There was no way anything could come of this attraction. He was her boss. They were professionals. He barely knew her.
Except that wasn't really true. He knew how she took her coffee. He knew how hard she worked and how selfless she was. He knew he wanted to know more.
"Well. I'll see you at seven thirty, then," she clipped out, and before he could shout, "Just take the damned dress!" her arm reached up, grabbed the hanger as though she were floating in the ocean, clinging to a life preserver in the middle of a raging storm, and nearly yanked it from the wardrobe.
He wanted to cheer. Instead, he nodded. "See you then."
***
This dress had cost six thousand dollars. Meredith stared at the price tag lying on the bed next to the black dress, and then looked to her left where she'd placed one of her old gowns. As soon as she'd gotten home from the office and seen that abundance of zeros on the heavy stock paper, she'd panicked, draped the dress gently on her bed, and backed away slowly, as though it were some terrible, volatile creature instead of just silk and feathers and beautiful crystals.
She'd hidden in the bathroom, showered, then done her makeup and put up her hair as well as she knew how, but when she emerged she still didn't feel strong enough to fight the pull of that dress.
Instead, she'd brought out the most attractive dress she could find that was already in her closet and laid it next to the intimidatingly expensive one, trying to convince herself that the difference really wasn't so great, and that she could look just as good wearing something she already owned, that she had paid a reasonable price for.
It didn't work. The need to see herself completely transformed into the kind of woman who could ask for something she wanted overshadowed her reservations about the extravagance of spending that much money on a dress she'd likely wear only once. It had already taken every ounce of courage she had to yank that dress out of Andrew's closet earlier, as though she were shoplifting. But she'd done it. And instead of completely depleting her of courage, the act had only made her feel even more daring. She'd walked home with that dress cradled to her body, and she'd felt her excitement and her pride in herself rising with every step.
Wear the six-thousand-dollar dress. Use that newfound courage and wear it.
Her finger reached out and traced over the too-large number on the price tag. It wasn't that she couldn't afford a dress like this. She'd done well at her previous company, and the package that Harbor had offered her had been even better. Even if she couldn't have paid for it herself, Andrew had said he would. A thank-you gift, to offset the inconvenience he'd caused her.
As if wearing something that looked like dreams and magic to a sparkling, glittering ball was an inconvenience.
"Isn't this what you wanted?" she asked herself, fingering the soft, feathery skirt. It didn't feel like what she thought real feathers should feel like. But she had no doubt they were real, more luxurious and fine than she could ever have imagined. Is this how everything was? The things she'd wanted for so long—in reality, were they even better than she imagined? If so, then wasn't it time to finally, finally take them for herself?
"Yes," she sighed, exactly the same sound she'd made when Andrew had offered her the dress this morning and she'd accepted it. Except now she was offering it to herself. "Yes, I'll take it," she whispered, and reached for dreams and magic.