Vanessa POV:
I woke up dazed. I sat up slowly, my throat ached and my stomach felt tight.
I reached over and turned off my alarm.
The bright rays of the sun flooded my vision, making me pull my covers back over my head.
I almost went back to sleep until I remembered that I had to work so I begrudgingly got up.
I stretched my arms while yawning, my throat burning. I was so sleepy.
The sound of snoring made me look over to see Tam who was sleeping with the comforter barely on her.
She must have climbed in with me when I went to bed after getting sick.
I pulled my floral printed comforter over her and got ready for work.
Once I was out the shower and my teeth were brushed, I got dressed into a cream colored business suit along with white tank undershirt to go underneath.
Grabbing my white pumps, I started boiling a pot of hot water to make tea for my sore throat.
I made sure there was plenty of honey and ginger before I took a cautious sip after blowing on it.
My throat felt somewhat better after the drinking full cup.
I quickly washed it out and grabbed my keys to leave.
I doubled checked and made sure the door was locked before I walked to my car.
My commute seemed to take longer than it usually did. I guess it was because the news that Tam told me last night threatened to consume my mind.
I wasn't thinking about it but I could feel the thoughts slowly coming to my mind. Each passing thought seemed to be greater than the rest.
So I blasted some music from my playlist to fight the lingering thoughts.
With the music, it seemed like I got to work in no time, effortlessly parking near the front doors in no time.
"Hi Lucy." I geeeted waving at her as I entered.
"Morning." She said back, waving over at me.
"A few clients have already left you a some messages." She handed me the message slips.
"Thank you." I said, taking the slips and heading to my office.
The decor in my new office was the same minus the photos that I took with my ex-husband.
The pictures that I had with my former significant other who must not be named were currently at the bottom of my paper shredder.
In place of the old photos were pictures of
myself along with the other important people in my life, most of them fairly recent.
.............................................................................
I had my spreadsheets finished before lunch and I was practically free. The messages from earlier were already taken care of.
All I had to do was respond to the ridiculous email from clients asking which the latest yatch or newest luxury car they should purchase.
My stomach still ached but as long as I didn't move around too much I could make it through the day.
The Lofi music I had playing in the background was lulling me to sleep by the moment.
I was almost asleep when my office door opened. Looking up, I saw Tam carrying a bento box and Tupperware container.
"Hey." I greeted, fighting back a yawn.
"Hi sleepy. I brought you lunch. You threw up last night and I figured that you didn't eat so I made you some chicken noodle soup." She placed the Tupperware in front of me.
I loved her chicken noodle soup.
"Thank you." I said, giving her a grateful smile. I really appreciate that she took the time to do this for me.
"No problem." She said, waving me off.
"I'll let you eat." She started to stand up to leave.
"No, stay. We can eat together." She had no reason to leave. I guess she figured I needed to be alone.
"Alright." She said, sitting back down.
I stood and went to a drawer to get a plastic bowl and fork. Returning to my desk, I opened the Tupperware and poured some of the soup into the bowl.
I opened the bento box to see tons of Hawaiian rolls. I grabbed two for myself.
I blew on the soup a few times before taking a cautious sip. The soup was tasted as great as it usually did.
"Delicious as always." I complimented her.
"Thank you." She took a sip of the soup.
"I love the new touches." She commented, looking at the frame that held the photo of us sitting on the steps of the Besakih Temple in Bali.
"I love them too." I agreed, watching as she picked up the photo that she's seen a million times of Alexandria and I playing the piano together.
There was a knock in the door and I told whoever it was to come in.
It was Lucy.
"I'm sorry Ms. Jackson. These came for you. Again." She apologized, holding a bouquet of flowers.
They were Calla Lilies.
I stood and took the note from the bouquet and told her to keep them.
"Thank you." She said but I waved her off. This had been our routine for the past few months.
She looked at me sadly and left.
Everyone in the office knew of my divorce. It was hard to figure out once I started using just my maiden name and not the hyphenated one I'd adopted that combined my married and maiden name.
I ignored the pitiful and concerned faces and did my job.
Tam looked over at me. "Where are these from?"
"Matthew. He's been harassing me with flowers thinking he can make things right." I placed the letter in the trash.
"How long has this been going on?" She asked.
"A few months." I said, grabbing one of the rolls. I needed a way to make it stop, I would talk to him but I didn't want to deal with his begging and pleading.
"Do you read the letters?"
"No, I usually throw them away." I took a bite of the roll.
"Mind if I?" She gestured towards the note.
"Be my guest." I responded.
Her hand reached out and grabbed the letter from the metal bin that was empty.
She used her finger to carefully open the letter, taking out the card that was in it.
"Not him saying that he hopes you can forgive him and that he loves you." She fumed with anger once she finishes reading.
"Can I slap him? Or punch his face in?" She asked angrily.
I could tell that there was something more in the letter based on her reaction. Tam didn't get angry over small stuff, at
all, what she got angry at is what she referred to as obvious stupidity.
Personally I didn't care what was in the small letter. But what must have been written in it was anger-provoking enough to piss off Tam.
"No, Tam, you cannot." I ate another piece of the roll.
"Come on V! At least let me do something."
"I appreciate the gesture but I can handle it." I didn't want Matthew to piss off any more of my friends or family. It was energy that deserved to go towards better, more positive things. He needed
to move on and stop his attempts at communicating with me.
He was irrelevant to my life. I was living my life and he had stuff going on as well.
He was going to be a father and he needed to get his act together for the sake of his child and his own self.
I shouldn't be on his mind at all but yet I was.
His actions when he were together made it very clear that I didn't mean anything to him.
Him sending me flowers everyday was somewhat irritating but I didn't think about him other than that.
I only put my energy towards the things that need it. Matthew wasn't in that category.
I ate some more of my soup. My stomach felt a lot better now. I shifted to something that was actually important. I had a therapy session today.
My regular sessions with Dr. Castillo have really helped me learn to process, express, and regulate my emotions.
"How do you plan on getting him to stop?"
"I'll have to tell him in person to stop." I didn't want to do it but it seems like I had to go that route.
"I'm going with you. It seems like his behavior is getting worse, remember when he left you all those messages, calls, voicemails, and emails! Emails Vanessa!" She exclaimed, emphasizing her point.
She was right. Matthew didn't seem stable when I saw him at court. Having someone with me when I went to talk with him would be best.
"You're not wrong." I agreed, thinking about the hundreds of emails, calls, texts, and voicemails I got from random numbers that turned out to be Matthew.
My head hurt thinking about how I had contemplated changing my phone number.
"When do you plan on going?" She asked after a spoonful of soup.
I adjusted my office chair, moving it back so that I relax.
"Soon." I responded, a sigh escaping me.
I had the feeling that Matthew wouldn't let go even if I told him to.
Matthew:
I was jolted out of sleep by sharp knocking,
tumbling off the couch in surprise, landing in a pile of trash I'd neglected to take out.
There was no point in doing anything if Vanessa wasn't here.
A huge piece of me has been missing since she decided to leave.
I just wanted my other half back.
Sloppily getting up, I looked through the peephole to see my best bud.
"Justin?" I asked confused. "What are you doing here?"
"To check on you. You haven't been to work in months."
I've been working from home." I said, moving aside to let him in.
"How have you been?" He asked concerned. Looking around, I was suddenly made aware of how much trash that I had lying on the floor.
"Hanging in there, I guess." I scratched the back of my greasy head.
I needed to shower badly.
"I don't have anything to drink except water." I said embarrassed, straightening my back on the couch.
"It's good. I only came to see how you were doing." He shrugged, adjusting his sleeves. "Did you want to have dinner at my place? Or we could go out?"
"Only when Vanessa gets back." When she came home, we're spending every waking
second together.
"Are you sure she's coming back?" A doubtful expression loomed on his face.
"I'm one thousand percent sure." I answered boastfully.
"Did she say that?" His brow only creased more like he didn't believe what I was saying. His hand reached out and grabbed the photograph of Vanessa and I.
In it, we were both standing on the shallow end of the beach, her arms were wrapped around my waist as she stood on the tips of her toes to give me a kiss on the cheek.
I had my arm wrapped around my waist, grinning like an idiot in love.
It was a time where we were unified not separated like we were now.
"No, but I know she will." It was something I was entirely sure of. I would bet my life on it.
"You have to accept that she isn't coming back." He said slowly, each word enunciated forcefully.
"She is." I gritted out, starting to get defensive.
"She isn't and it's time you accept it." He said calmly. His words were starting to piss me off.
"Leave." I said firmly, slowing moving up from the couch to point at the door. I couldn't believe him. My own best friend didn't believe that my wife was coming back.
I could save my marriage.
"I'm just looking out for you." His watchful gaze observed my unkempt hair, unclean house, and slow movements.
Without Vanessa, I wasn't sure of anything. Everything was crumbling in wake of her absence.
"It's only a matter of time before she comes back. It was a mistake, she understands that." She obviously needed a break, the entire situation was stressful. And I'd make it up to her when she got back.
"She has every right to leave. You're the one that fucked up, not her." I drove her to leave but with enough time she would regain her trust in me so that we could be happy again.
"How dare you?" My situation had nothing to do with him. How dare he speak as if he had any idea of what was going on?
"Look at the facts, Vanessa's been gone for how long? Seven... eight months?" He said calmly, trying to reason with me.
"Don't talk about things you don't understand. Vanessa is coming back! We're just on a break!" Why couldn't he understand that?
"She divorced you. If that doesn't says she's over you I don't know what will." He sounded more aggressive this time.
"I can make things right. She has to understand. She absolutely has to." I argued, my voice rising several octaves. There was no one made for me except her. She was all I thought about.
"She doesn't have to understand anything. You're the one who fucked around and created a baby while still being married to her." He was pissed now and so was I.
I stopped. "How do you know about that?"
He looked at me confused. "It's all over social media."
My heart stopped. "You need to leave" I told
him. My body heated with hot anger.
"It's only a matter of time until Vanessa hears about it." He was right and that thought alone scared me.
If she found out about the baby, I knew for sure we were over.
She would forgive me for the affair that I regretted wholeheartedly but I knew that a baby would be something that she wouldn't easily overlook.
"You can't hide away from news this important. Focus on being the best father you can be. Then you can apologize to Vanessa and let her decide if she wants you back and go from there. Don't be upset with the answer she chooses, again you fucked up not her.
Your baby is your first priority right now, fixing your relationship with Vanessa comes after that especially now that your relationship is over." I knew his advice was right but I didn't want to follow it.
I didn't want to put fixing things with Vanessa on the backburner for a baby I don't even want. I wasn't set up to be a parent.
He glanced at his watch. "I have to go to the office now. My lunch break is almost over. I'll leave you to think about what I said." He headed towards the door.
When he got to the door he stopped and turned towards me. "I'll be back to help you clean up this place and take you to get some fresh air. How long has it been since you've went outside?"
I shrugged not sure of the answer.
"That long? I'll see you in a bit Matt." The door slamned shut.
Despite him pissing me off, it was nice to see him.
I had shut everyone out. I didn't want to think about the number of missed calls and messages I've received ever since I stopped using my phone.
Once I realized that Vanessa wasn't coming back immediately, I practically isolated myself in a cave of self-pity, and guilt.
My cave got wider when Jenna revealed her pregnancy.
I needed to apologize for the harsh words I've said to her. I was going to talk with her soon to discuss the baby.
Life would get better once Vanessa came back from her well deserved break.
The divorce almost broke me. It burned when she walked away from me like we didn't know each other, like we weren't anything.
It not only caused me a lot of pain but her as well. There was hurt present in her beautiful brown eyes.
When we reunite, I'll make sure she'll never forget there ever being any dark clouds in our bright sky.
I turned on my phone, ready to face the world.
It was flooded with dozens of unanswered calls and texts.
Confused, I listened to most recent voicemail which was from my dad.
Matthew what the hell. You got another girl pregnant?! I raised you better than this. Your mother would flip if she heard about this. What about Vanessa, your wife? You better call me back or so help me G-
I turned off my phone before he could finish.
Sheer panic rushed through me at the thought of Vanessa finding out.
Even though she didn't have social media, it was only a matter of time before she found out.
I could only hope that this doesn't affect us being together.
She had to understand that I loved her and this baby changes nothing.
I still wanted us to reconcile and be the happy couple we once were.
I needed to see her. It had been months since I last saw her.
I never failed to send her flowers every other week. That was the one action I did consistently.
My phone started to vibrate, pulling it out of my pocket, I was shocked at who was calling me.
My father.
My eyes widened. This wasn't going to end well.
Hello my loves. I'm so excited to have released this chapter.
Don't be afraid to comment what you think!
Thoughts on:
Vanessa?
Matt?
Tam?
Justin?
Let me know what you think of it!!
Tons of love
-Booklover082