When Jiang Cheng woke up the next day, he woke up to find out that his hair and clothes were soaking wet; he was lying next to the fire, and his husband was crashing him in his embrace so tight that his ribs hurt.
Lan Xichen was a mess – neither his hair, nor his clothes were in any order, which was an extremely rare sight. Even when they were alone in the bedroom, Lan Xichen was very particular about the way he looked. He was sleeping, his face buried in Jiang Cheng's hair.
He felt tired.
He had some memory of his brother getting on his nerves earlier on, and also that he was sick, but the rest was a blur. He wondered whether to wake Lan Xichen up – he knew that he was exhausted, and was sure that he had been up all night because of him.
His heart sank once again – he could not believe his luck. How many people could brag about a love like that?
He sighed and reached out to caress the dear face.
- My lovely... - Lan Xichen opened his eyes slowly at the touch. – You came back to me... Wanyin...
The large cat eyes glistened with tears.
- How can I leave when I have such beauty by my side? - Jiang Cheng murmured, smiling faintly.
Lan Huan laughed bitterly. He knew that he looked terribly. They both did.
- Let me take you to the Cold Spring, my love.
Jiang Wanyin nodded slightly. His body felt very light, very empty somehow. The only thing he wanted right now was to be with him. There was a new impossible yearning in his soul to be with him always, at all times. Now he had seen him at his worst, and he had stayed.
Neither of them moved, staring into each other's eyes with love for the longest time.
***
When the housekeeper came to wake them up for breakfast, she found them in strange ball of limbs and bed covers, hugging, still sitting in front of the fire.
She cleared her throat as none noticed her at all.
- Masters?
- Yes. – Lan Xichen finally managed to look away. – We are going for a swim. Bring fresh clothes and tea by the Spring. Serve breakfast in the Hall, we will be joining Hanguang-Jun and Wei Qianbei in an hour.
Even if she was surprised by this order, she never showed it, and just bowed.
Lan Xichen carried his husband to the Spring and helped him undress. It was a chilly morning, but what sent shivers down Jiang Wanyin's spine was the extremely careful touch on his skin. He was flushed, staring, still weak, in a trance, as Lan Huan took off his clothes too and held out his hand invitingly, just like on their wedding day – and they entered the water together, in silence, as if observing an old marital ritual.
Sandu Shengshou could not decide which was colder – the air or the water, but he shivered with the cold this time, and in just a second Lan Huan was holding him in his warm embrace, gently but tightly, as if afraid that some evil magic would snatch him away, steal him from his care, away from his life.
- Why haven't you told me, Wanyin...? Why have you hidden it from me? Am I not your husband? Am I not the one who must take care of you? – he murmured sadly.
Jiang Cheng looked up, scared. He did not understand, but the pain in his lover's voice was too real. Lan Xichen told him about Wei Wuxian's words and he went very pale. His grip on Zewu-Jun's body tightened and he leaned his head on his chest.
He whispered weakly:
- I had to try. I need to try. I want to show you how much I love you. This is the way. I know no other way.
Lan Xichen sighed deeply. He caressed his husband's hair and back, kissing the top of his head, pressing him to himself again.
- What will I do if I lose you, my love? If I lose the both of you... Have you thought about this? – he said quietly.
Tears filled Jiang Cheng's eyes. For the first time in his life someone cherished him so much, missed him so much, and it was real, it was true. He had all the proof he needed now. He imagined that if that was really to happen, Zewu-Jun would go mad with grief.
He whimpered:
- Do you still love me? Even after I hurt you so much?
- I love you. So very much, my kitten... - Lan Huan turned his face up, brushing his tears away gently.
- Don't leave me. I can't lose you either... - Jiang Wanyin whispered.
Their hands slid to tighten their embrace, and they held each other too tight as their lips merged into a tender kiss, a slow and sad kiss.
The housekeeper came to bring the clothes and serve the tea on a low chestnut-tree tray by the Spring, and her heart broke to see them like that. Their tears and despair were visible, their sorrow could be felt even from a distance.