Hey yall, this is angst. Not like, several people die angst, but more of the I'm upset because of us angst. This is basically based off of the decline and eventual end of my relationship with my gf because I'm still upset about it, it's been a week. This is very short btw, and again, it's teenlock because why not.
John's POV
When did you fall out of love with me?
Was it before you were too busy to spend time with me?
Was it before you made new friends?
Was it before you stopped thinking of things to say to me?
Was it before you met them?
Was it before you helped me through an anxiety attack?
Was it before the weekends we spent drawing on each other for fun?
Was it before the last weekend we spent with friends?
Was it before the last photos we took together?
Was it before the last time we called for no reason but to talk to each other?
Was it before we stopped being in the same lessons?
Was it before we stopped texting each other?
Was it before I noticed that you were happier with them?
Was it before I told you I love you?
Was it before our one-year anniversary?
When did you get bored of me?
Was it before you stopped texting me about anything you could think of?
Was it before you chose to sit next to other people in class?
Was it before you drifted away from me and everyone else?
Was it before you realised, we couldn't do so many things because of me?
Was it before you realised that we don't truly have many interests in common?
When did you realise?
Was it before you started avoiding me, or was that truly coincidence?
Was it before you forgot about our one-year anniversary?
Was it before you started hanging out with them instead?
Because,
Sherlock,
I need to know,
Did you ever truly love me?
Were you unsure of how you felt all this time?
Or was it all out pity?
I need to know
Because all that's left are the awkward silences
And the false promises you left behind
Because love isn't an emotion, it's a promise
And a fake one from you at that
I know we promised we were still friends
But I don't know how much longer I can pretend to be friends
When I can see so clearly
You love them more than you ever loved me
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
So this is all based on stuff that has happened with me.
Basically, for the past few weeks, we've had communication issues, but I don't know how to talk about stuff, and she was always busy anyway. She had band practice almost every lunch break and she had made a new group of friends, different to mine which she used to be in. We weren't in many classes together, so we didn't talk much even then, but I thought it was all a coincidence. 1am on the 31st of October, I got a message saying we needed to talk in school on Monday, and I said okay. We spoke at school, and she basically said that she had been avoiding me, and I said oh I know, these things happen, but then she said no, that she was avoiding me on purpose to try and figure out how she felt, which hurt a bit when she could have just talked to me. She then said she thought we needed to break up, but we could still be friends though. I didn't want to break up, but I didn't have a choice, and it was probably the best option anyway, so I just agreed. We are still friends in theory, but we don't ever talk or text or anything.
I know I implied that Sherlock was dating someone else after John in this, and you can interpret it that way, but that didn't happen to me, instead of her looking happier with a new partner, she looks happier with her new friends, she laughs and smiles more with them, more than she ever did with me, which does make me wonder if she ever truly enjoyed spending time with me.
Anyway, rant over. I hope you enjoyed this depressing chapter that is probably only depressing to me, but I cried either way lmao.
I'll try and update soon-ish, I need to get into a better writing routine
Either way, thanks for reading, see yall next time x