A/n: I can't even remember how old Lily was in the movie, and I can't find if I ever mentioned it in earlier chapters. So I just want to put the disclaim here that for this series, she'll be eight. Also, ya'll crack me tf up with these comments 😭 but I'm a little concerned that some of you might be waaay younger than I thought. Which tbh is none of my business. I don't plan on writing straight up smut or anything sexual like that. However, it will be implied throughout the story as you've seen in some instances. So yeah, enjoy but also keep that in mind! Also, I forgot to add that as soon as I started this series back up, I got two messages from accounts saying pretty hateful shit towards my writing. If you don't like how I write my books, no one is forcing you to read it. However I will continue to write how I want, regardless if you might dislike it. You're always welcomed to leave your opinions, but I draw the line at death threats.
Also TW: Mentionings of child abuse
"When's the last time we drove around here?" You found yourself wondering out loud. Slowly, the familiar streets that you called home had begun to fade out. Even when the two of you had driven after Clarence and Randle, it had been in the opposite direction of town.
"Hmm?" Marshal murmured, and you glanced at him from the corner of your eye. He was resting his head against the window. Unlike the other times where you were unsure of whether or not he was actually listening to you, this time you were sure that he wasn't. His face held a somewhat rosy complexion, unnatural for the usual paleness you were used to.
Although there were very few instances where you could describe Marshall's eyes as bright, they were never usually as dimmed and dull as they seemed now.
"Are you sure you want your sister to see you like this?" you found yourself questioning. The majority of the car ride had been spent in a somewhat comfortable silence, and now it felt as if you were talking to yourself.
"Like what?" Marshall questioned, feigning ignorance as he continued to keep his gaze out of the window. You couldn't tell if his detachment was due to the fever or the fact that you were creeping closer and closer towards his moms trailer.
You turned on your phone camera and handed it to him. He briefly glanced down at his complexion, scowling slightly that that was what you had chosen to show him.
"Hey, don't get mad at me. It's your face.." you teased lightly, though it was clear there was concern in your voice. As you glanced at yourself in the mirror, you became acutely aware of the fact that your eyebrows had remained furrowed for a duration of the trip. Marshall finally looked at you, the annoyance immediately leaving his features. He looked away from you for a moment, an expression you'd never seen on him before filled his face.
"I'm sorry." He eventually mumbled out, his gaze still planted on the window besides him. His voice was somewhat raspy as if it threatened to cut out at places. "She won't notice, really. She's a kid, in her own little world and shit." He said, rubbing his face a bit. "I won't be out long anyways. I just need to talk to her, then we'll go back." He agreed.
"And you'll actually listen to me?" You pushed hopefully.
He shot you a look, and you shot him one back. He eventually sighed, leaning back in his chair with another scowl and closing his eyes. "Fine." He gritted, "but this'll be the one and only time, aight?"
You nodded, your shoulders eventually dropping with relief. It was as if the tension that had been slowly building up had ebbed away.
It didn't take long before the two of you had reached the trailer. The familiar smell of burning plastic and other unrecognizable fumes filled the air. As you parked, you wondered how your friend Cindy was doing.
Among the few times you had visited the area, you'd rarely seen her. The one time you had, she'd been with a group of her own and had acted as if she hadn't known you.
Or maybe she just didn't recognize you. By the way she had stumbled from side to side that night, it was difficult to tell.
"Y'know her?" Marshall had asked, the two of you sat in front of his porch and watched the scene.
"Yeah." You had told him. "I was giving her the sweater I borrowed during homecoming. I'd spilled something red on my white dress. Well, you could tell what that had looked like by the time I'd finished."
Marshall had just laughed and muttered something about how Cindy's mother was one of the few from the trailer that often came to check on Lily.
You found yourself blinking back into reality as Marshall had begun to unbuckle his seatbelt. "I shouldn't be in too long." He told you, his jaw setting as he glanced up at the trailer. It was silent all around, it was never usually like that. You could tell that Marshall felt the same way, he hadn't moved from besides the car.
"It'll be okay." You assured him. "If you need anything, text me."
Marshall hesitated for a moment before finally nodding and shutting the door behind him. You watched as he walked up the steps to the trailer and dug through his pockets for his keys.
You sighed as soon as he was out of view, pulling your chair back to as far as it could go to lay down. You stared up at the clouds, realizing suddenly how dark they looked.
"Why are our weather forecasts so shitty lately?" You found yourself murmuring as you pulled out your phone. "They said it would be sunny."
You scrolled through your phone for several moments, jumping through different apps as you tried to kill time. However the longer you sat there, the more you realized that Marshall was taking more than a bit of time. You groaned, resisting the urge to hit your head on the wheel.
"Marshall, why does this always happen with you. Can't you ever just- stick to time?" You huffed, glancing at your watch as you realized it had been almost forty five minutes now. You tried to listen, but you realized that based on where you were parked it would have been impossible to hear anything inside anyways.
As forty five minutes slowly turned into fifty five, your mind began to assume the worst. You wondered if somehow, something had happened and his fever managed to get the better of him.
If that were true, what would you even have done? You knew that Marshall despised whenever you stepped foot into the trailer, especially if his mother was there. However, you knew he would hate it even more if he had somehow passed out and woke up in the same trailer. You mulled over your options for a moment, drumming your fingers against the steering wheel. You had no plans to cause any drama or stir up trouble, you just wanted to make sure he was okay.
You paused again as you remembered something else. Marshall had always been pretty distinct about what he said, especially when it came to talking to you. Your mind recalled the other times he had relayed to you to stay in the car. He had made sure to drill it in at least three or four times. However this time, he said nothing.
As you slipped out from the car, you silently wondered if Marshall had had a feeling that he would be walking into something unusual.
Well, more unusual than what usually when on in the trailer.
As you got closer and closer, you could feel the ground shaking underneath you. It was only when you had made it to the front door did you really grasp what was happening. You could hear the sounds of things being knocked over. Papers fluttered through the cracks of the windows, shards of glass could be heard splintering against the wood.
"Oh! Would you stop it?!" A desperate voice screamed.
The familiar voice made your blood curdle.
Without another thought, you swung open the door. You immediately scanned the destroyed trailer, the first person your eyes landed on was a little girl. You could hardly grasp how old she was due to what she was wearing. It was as though someone had cut a hole in a sleeping bag and fitted it over her head as clothes. Her arms remained tucked inside however, and she looked bewildered by the scene in front of her.
The next thing you noticed was her haircut.
Tufts of brown hair laid scattered across the ground. You had only seen Lily and handful of times, and each time you remembered commenting on how long and pretty her hair was. Despite being eight, she managed to care for and maintain the mane herself. You remembered how she commented on how she'd been growing "her crown" for over four years.
Now, her hair was cut unevenly. Patches of her scalp were visible, even from where you stood. Without another thought, you silently held your arms out towards her. She glanced over at Marshall, who was actively draining bottles of liquor down the sink. Each time he poured a bottle away, he would toss it towards his mother.
She was curled up in the corner, her arms pressed to her ears as she trembled violently.
This was one of the very few times you'd seen her conscious. You forced your gaze away from the scene, instead focusing on Lily.
"It's okay. Come." You mouthed, gesturing towards yourself. The little girl hesitated, sparing one glance towards her brother before stumbling towards you. You held onto her, relief flooding through you as you realized you'd successfully gotten her away from the line of any stay glass. You studied her as quickly as you could, noticing several different bruises on her neck and what you could see of her little hands. She said nothing as she held onto the end of your hoodie.
For a moment, you didn't know what to do. You knew that trying to stop Marshall now, was futile. You'd only seen him get like this one time, and the situation had diffused before it had escalated towards this. You remembered that that time had also been about Lily.
Marshall chucked another bottle towards his mother. You noticed that despite his anger, he was truly making an actual effort to hit her. Each bottle bounced to the side of her, diagonal and occasionally above her. Yet, if she didn't move, the glass didn't seem to touch her.
"I-I don't deserve this!" She finally spoke, screaming to be heard over the sound of smashing glass.
"Oh, you don't?" Marshall snapped, the last bottle of liquor grasped tightly in his fingers. "You've always been a cruel fucking bitch. A pain in the ass to anyone who has to stay anywhere near you. But you promised- you promised you'd never do the same to her."
"I did nothing wrong!" His mother snapped back, finally dropping her arms besides her. Her face was completely stained wet with tears. Even as she sobbed in front of the three of you, you couldn't find yourself to have pity. Instead you stayed silent. You could tell by the anger on Marshall's face, he was about to say something that he had been meaning to say for a while. You felt something besides you, and looked down. Lily had buried her face against you, almost as if she'd sensed it to.
You were never a fan of kids, however you didn't think about that now as you held her back.
"You forced us to live in complete squalor. When I did the things that I needed to do to in order for us to survive, you complained that I was not honest. You came up with-" he swallowed. "You tried to stupefy me with the cruelest fucking punishments you could come up with in that junkie mind of yours. Anytime I tried to learn anything, you would make sure I couldn't. Yet somehow, it was always my fault for being stupid or fucking slow." He snapped. "And this?"
He held up one of the last bottles of alcohol.
"Don't. Don't you dare speak to me like that, and stop destroying my stuff. I'm your mother!" She shouted, her voice hinting at anger and desperation.
"The damn things you would do for just a shot of garbage like this. You'd think you'd at least put in the dirty work for the top shelf shit." He snapped. "But no. Every penny I managed to gather for just a bit of groceries, you'd take. For this." He tossed the bottle at the wall, not bothering to empty it out this time. She screamed as the contents from the bottle spilled over her.
"Why are you doing this?" She cried, and you could tell that only made Marshall seethe more.
"Are you stupid or hard of hearing?" He snapped. "You did all this shit to torture us, and then you're actually SURPRISED when I finally say something back to your stupid ass?"
He picked up the last bottle, his teeth gritted with anger as he held it up. He had gone silent, he no longer seemed as though he were in the mood to talk.
The first thing you noticed as he began to move was how lose the bottle was in his hand. His steps seemed unsteady, and you realized suddenly that the adrenaline of what had happened must have been wearing off.
"Wait here." You told Lily, squeezing her shoulders gently as you stepped over the shattered glass. You were glad from your protective shoes, but that stop you from being cautious. You walked as though you were stepping on land mines. He hadn't yet thrown the bottle. It was aimed somewhat behind his right shoulder, you shakily reached out and grabbed it.
You didn't tell him that this was one of those moments. You didn't tell him that this wasn't him. You didn't know what to tell him. You knew that at least right now, there was nothing you could really say that would take the anger and hurt away. The most you could do was stop him before he did anything else you knew he would regret later on.
"Don't.." you finally spoke, easing the last bottle from his hand and setting it down on the counter. "You're really only going to end up hurting yourself. Look at you, you can hardly hold yourself up. You promised, remember?"
You didn't want to add the fact that Lily was watching, and she was terrified. You knew that he knew, and that he felt terrible for it. He could hardly glance back at her, or you. His shoulders dropped as he stared ahead, his silent gaze surveying the damaged glass on the floor. For a moment, he looked almost as bewildered as his sister.
The look passed a moment later, masked with a solemn sense of silent duty as he forced his gaze on Lily. "Get the shit you need packed in your bag. You ain't staying here no more." Marshall told her. Lily immediately moved as though she was used to being ordered around. She slipped into her room, the sounds of shuffling could be heard.
"M-Marshall?" She called quietly, her voice shaky. "I need you, please."
You looked up at Marshall. His face seemed even redder than earlier, and his hair stuck to his forehead in slightly damp curls of sweat. Despite this, he pushed himself up. "Give me a second." He managed out, his palm against the wall besides him as he walked. You watched him go, your heart hammering as you looked around.
You wanted to get out of here. You wanted to leave and never look back. You felt sick to your stomach, witnessing what you just had. You could understand to some extent why Marshall always seemed to spend so much time away from his, 'home'. However this encounter seemed to solidify it.
A quiet cry broke you from your thoughts, and your quiet gaze briefly lingered to his mother. You felt a wall of disgust build around you as you stared.
You couldn't believe that it was possible to feel such disdain for another person. You had never felt it before, and you weren't sure how to process it.
It got even worse as she began to speak.
"I don't.. deserve this, you know." The woman spoke. "He's always been a little tyrant, a sick one too. I tried to keep him on medication. The stuff that he obviously needs, and he would refuse. He'd kick and scream and.. he's the bad one, not me." She tried to tell you.
You stared at her blankly.
"If I were you, I'd run while I still can. You'll be me in twenty years or worse. I've seen what people like my son turn into." She said, attempting to stand.
"You mean the men you kept letting around him growing up? And the ones you try to let around here while Lily's here?" You questioned. "You've probably tried that same sad, pathetic speech on someone else and it's probably worked. But I know a worthless junkie parent when I see one. Save your woe is me bullshit for someone else naive enough to listen." Yoj snapped.
As if on cue, Marshall and Lily emerged from the room. She was bundled up in new clothes. A thick pink jacket and gray sports pants to match. She wore thick shoes that seemed a few sizes too large for her, but you could tell she had already adapted to them by the way she moved. She held onto Marshall's hand tightly as the two of them walked. "Let's go.." you told the both of them quietly.
Marshall didn't look at his mother as the three of you exited. The biting cold air was the first thing that hit you as you stepped out. The wind cut against your cheeks and nose, causing you to burrow deeper into your jacket.
The three of you piled into the car with heavy sighs.
There was hardly a moment in between when the three of you had entered the car, and it began to pour heavily.
It seemed to match the somber mood as you found it difficult to even start the ignition.
"I'm sorry." A quiet voice spoke, causing you to stop what you were doing. You looked up at Marshall, who was staring down at his lap. "Fuck.. I'm really sorry, y/n, Lily.." he looked back at his sister. She had brought a blanket with her, and had curled up in the back seat. She seemed to have calmed down quickly now that she was away from the home. She looked up at Marshall, and then at you.
"Marshall.." you started, sensing that his sister had other things on her mind. It was as if she were actually seeing you in full light for the first time, and she seemed confused. "You don't have to think about it now. The important thing is.." your voice trailed off as you looked back at Lily. "That both of you are fine, and that we're leaving in one complete piece yeah? Oh, and getting the hell out of here. This place still gives me the creeps.." you half joked, attempting to lighten the mood.
Marshall nodded quietly, looking up at you gratefully.
"Besides.. I had a feeling something might've been wrong to begin with." You began to drive out of the area, glancing over your shoulder as you carefully handled the car. You hated driving in rain. "You always tell me to stay in the car, this time you didn't.."
Marshall blinked a bit as he thought over what you said. "I guess.. you're right, I didn't." He said. He looked back at his sister, then back at you. "She has a different dad than I do." He explained. "He lives across town.. although I'm sure at this time he's at work. She's better off staying with him. She's been asking to go down there a while anyways.." he said. His voice sounded plain as he spoke. You could tell that his mind was swirling with several different thoughts, all of which were difficult to handle in the light of a fever.
"How about getting back home first and cleaning up at least?" You questioned, not wanting to mention the state of her hair out loud.
"You're.. not Kim." A voice suddenly spoke. Your head snapped up abruptly, and for a terrifying second you felt the car teeter.
"No, she's not." Marshall spoke, narrowly steering you away from the embarrassment. "This is y/n. Remember?"
She blinked at you tiredly, resting her head again. "The one that brought donuts last time?" She questioned.
You smiled a bit as you remembered. "Yes, that's right." You said. "It's nice to actually be able to have a conversation with you again, Lily."
The young girl suddenly looked self conscious, as if she were remembering something herself. She looked down, tucking the few tufts of hair behind her ears. "I'm sorry it looks so bad." She whispered. "Last time we talked you said it was pretty. Now it's not. Mama said it won't be again for a while."
You could feel Marshall shift besides you, the anger had gradually returned to his features again.
"Well she's wrong, you know." You told her. "I'm not the best with hair, but I've done my fair share of experimenting. I can tell you that some of the prettiest girls I know have short hair. Have you ever heard of a pixie cut? Or even a bob! You still have more than enough hair for that." You assured her. "I noticed how pretty you were before I noticed how pretty your hair was. That's something your mom can't exactly take away from you, y'know?"
She seemed to brighten a bit at your words, nodding as though she didn't truly believe them, but had accepted them anyways. "I've never seen a bob.. or pixie." She admitted softly.
"See, that's my house just up ahead." You pointed. "How about we look through some doable styles and we pick the one you like, yeah?"
She nodded, her face appeased as she accepted your proposition. "And.. and a warm bath?" She questioned softly. Marshall looked away as he heard this.
"Mama.." she started, glancing at Marshall for a moment, "mama used the money Marshall put up for the house's hot water. They turned it off a week ago. I can only stay inside for maybe a minute, sometimes it's cold."
"Of course you can take a bath.." you said softly, your voice catching in your throat a bit. "For as long as you want. Here, this is the key to go inside. How about you look around a bit before Marshall and I head inside yeah?" You questioned. She looked at Marshall questiongly.
He forced out a small smile and nodded. "It's good, alright? Go ahead and look, just try not to touch anything. 'N leave the damn cat alone if he's there."
At the mentioning of a cat, she immediately exited the car with the keys in hand.
"I don't want you to apologize for what happened, you know." You finally spoke after a moment. "I- yeah.. it was scary. Really scary.." you admitted.
Marshall kept his gaze down, he didn't seem to know what to say.
"But.. that's because I've never really seen you like that before. You keep so much inside. I didn't think.. you were that angry. I don't think anyone does. We all kind of.. expect you to just be okay. Because that's the way we're used to you conducting yourself. So when you're not.." your voice trailed off. "Which is silly of me. No one is okay a hundred percent of the time. But.. I'm not one of the people whose going to make you feel bad about the two percent time that you're not." You said, gently placing your hand on his back. "Jeez.. so much for not pushing yourself." You pointed out, gently rubbing his back.
You could feel the tension slowly drain from his body at your touch, and he looked at you.
"I'm not gonna lie to you." He said despondently. "There are a lot of things that make me angry. So many damn things. Before I reached a certain time, it didn't take a lot to get me to blow up." He admitted. "I worked hard to keep all of that in check. It gets hard sometimes.. but I always manage to do it." He told you. "But whenever I see her it's as if it all comes undone. All the work, it.. unravels or some shit." He rubbed his head, you could tell the topic was worsening his headache. "I hate it. I don't want her to see me like that. I don't want you to see me like that. The people that I love shouldn't be subjected to that.." he muttered feverishly.
Your eyes widened for a second as you slowly began to comprehend what he had just said. You could tell that he truly meant it, but you couldn't tell if it it was something he had actually meant to voice in the heat of the moment.
"One bump in the road doesn't make it a dead end, Marshall." You reminded him. He pulled a face, leaning back against your hand as you gently rubbed his shoulders.
"Now you sound like Future. Don't.. don't rub my shoulders and talk like him at the same time, it's weird." He pointed out.
You burst out laughing, holding your stomach with your free hand. "Shut up, you know I'm right." You laughed, looking up at him. "Let's just.. focus on one thing at a time today okay?" You asked. "I actually do want to fix up Lily's hair if she'll let me, and I did promise her that bath. How about we think about getting her to her Dad's tomorrow?"
You wanted him to be able to make this decision when his mind was clearer, or at least when he was feeling better. You hadn't known that he and Lily were half siblings. If there were a perfectly capable father around, you knew Marshall must have not mentioned him for a reason.
He nodded in agreement, following your lead as the two of you exited the car.
*TIME SKIP*
Hours had passed between the incident and when you'd arrived home. Lily had decided on a simple, but stylistically perfect choice for her new head of hair. You had had to cut off a bit more to even it out, something the girl had shed tears about at first. She didn't seem to understand that she had to lose a bit more hair in order for it to look somewhat normal.
In the end she was happy with the result. A short cut that stopped just above her chin and shortened a bit in the back. She'd stuck a flower pin in it for accessory, and she seemed satisfied with the result.
"I can stay here? All by myself?" She asked, her voice questioning with disbelief as she glanced around the guest room that you'd offer her.
"Yep kiddo, all yours. Pick whichever bed you want to sleep on." You said, pointing between the two. "Marshall and I will be downstairs if you need something."
She nodded, hesitating for a moment before walking up to you. She gave a small, hesitant hug before pulling away.
"No matter where we go, even if Marshall calls it safe.. he never sleeps or even closes his eyes for a second." She spoke. "But he doesn't seem to do any of that here."
"It's safe here." You assured her. "Marshall knows that because he's been here for a while. You'll know that soon too."
"Please don't tell him I told you about any of this." She said softly. "He thinks that I don't know, and that I don't think about any of that stuff. But I do." She nodded. "He works really hard to make me feel like a kid. But I don't.. not really. I haven't for a bit, actually. If he knew, it would make him sad. I can't do anything at all, but if pretending makes him happy, then I'll at least do that."
You stared after her, stunned at the maturity of her words as she slipped into bed. You knew that in the conditions she grew in, it shouldn't have been a shock that she was so grown up at such a young age.
Yet seeing it in motion made you feel sick again. You couldn't get the words Marshall had screamed out of your head.
He had briefly told you a story in the past of something that you didn't really think about until now. When he was younger he had tried to devour what knowledge he could as a high school drop out. He had dissected different inches of different kinds of dictionaries.
He had always had to read in secret. Anytime his mother caught him doing anything remotely productive that didn't have to do with making her money, he was berated for it.
You pushed the image out of your mind, instead smiling down at the little girl. "Your brother loves you, so much. I can tell you love him too. I'm glad that.. he has someone else out there who cares for him too. He deserves more people standing behind him.."
"Do.. you love him?" Lily asked.
You felt your heart catch in your chest, and you swallowed hard. "You're an inquisitive little thing, aren't you? But it's getting quite late.." you said.
"I thought he loved Kim, because he was nice to her, and he's never really nice to anyone." She continued to speak. "But.. it's not the same with you. I think he loves you, not her."
You pondered over her words for a few moments, your hand on the door knob. "Thanks Lily." You said quietly. "We'll talk more tomorrow, okay? Get some rest.."
You quietly shut the door and let out a big sigh, shaking your head at the conversation. You knew with proper energy, it would be difficult to keep up conversations with the sharp lipped child. Still, you couldn't help but smile quietly at what she'd said.
You'd never really gotten the impression that Marshall was madly in love with Kim, but you had gotten the feeling that she was an ex. Nevertheless, she'd rarely been mentioned before today, and you had been happy to not think about her.
With a stretch, you slowly made your way down to the couch. You had started a fire in your chimney, and the warmth had spread around the room. You could hear water running from the bathroom, and you knew Marshall had gone to take a shower. You silently hoped that he had taken your advice about letting a cold shower break his fever, but you wouldn't hold your breath for it.
You began to drift off in thought, different things coming to mind as you switched on the tv. You were barely even watching what was going on when you heard the bathroom door clothes. Sluggish footsteps came towards a your way, and you glanced up the lock eyes with a slightly disgruntled Marshall.
"Save it." He murmured, at the same time you muttered I told you so. You laughed softly, your cheeks coloring as Marshall began to lay down.
He rested his head in your lap, his gaze moving to stare up at the ceiling. Your hands landed in his hair, planting there as though that was were they were always supposed to be. You ran your fingers through his hair, marveling at how soft it felt underneath your fingertips.
He hummed for a moment, seemingly relishing the feeling himself. " 'm dizzy." He finally admitted, his gaze still planted on the ceiling.
"I'm sure you are. You've barely had a drop of water all day, and this fever is almost as stubborn as you." You said, holding a cup to his lips.
He hesitated for a moment, his gaze averting before he finally accepted your help. You set the cup down; raising and eyebrow at him.
"All that and you're still breathing aren't you?" You teased, fluffing his hair slightly. He scowled at you in annoyance, batting your hands away lightly.
You scoffed playfully and pulled your hands away from his hair, setting them besides you. He looked away from the ceiling and back at you, his scowl somewhat shifting as he grabbed your hands and placed them in his hair again.
You laughed, careful not to make your voice too loud as you were sure Lily was asleep. "I guess you're right." He grumbled. "It doesn't matter though, I should be fine tomorrow."
He closed his eyes as you continued to quietly massage his scalp. "And if you're not?"
He didn't say anything for a long moment, not until you paused what you were doing. He scowled out you one last time before sighing, "then I'll listen to you. Whatever, is that what you wanted to hear?"
"Good, now you're getting it." You teased, fluffing his hair one more time before shifting to lay besides him.