As promised, I'd visited Iris Chen the next morning. Pim had accompanied me, and it was a good thing too, because the practice had drained me enough that I could hardly walk afterwards. Lemon had been there, visiting her grandparents, and her calculating gaze assessed my hobbling form, her lips turned down in a frown.
I'd spent the rest of the day in my bed in the Tans' house, my body wracked in pain. But something else in me had begun healing in the process. As my magick pulled Iris's pain from her body, dispersing it as bubbles popping into nothing in the healing water, I felt some part of the violence I'd conjured in that storm clear my soul as well.
This morning Pim declared me well enough to go home, and she'd wrapped me in three layers of blankets and folded me into our motorbike's sidecar. As we were leaving, Celeste presented me with a basket of white daylilies cut from her garden. She suggested that I use the flowers as my offering to the Goddess. The blooms only lasted a day, she said, and suggested that I feel my guilt but let it only last as long.
I didn't know if that was possible, but I would make the offering just the same. Alder wanted to join me this morning, as it had been a day since we had seen each other, so I waited for him in my rocker on our back porch. Una sat sentinel at my feet.
After Pim's story the other night, Alder had returned home. Since I was awake, if not entirely better, he didn't want to push his luck with Layla by staying away any longer. It had only been in her shock, and perhaps fear, that she had allowed him to leave with me in his arms the day of the hurricane.
When Una stood, ears flicking upright in alertness, and then ran off, I figured that Alder had arrived. And only a moment later, she reappeared with a slightly sweaty, slightly harassed looking Alder, his hand bracing the slats of the house as he fought to catch his breath. I couldn't help but laugh at the sight of him.
"I take it you didn't enjoy the ride?" I'd had to leave my pedal bike in town, and Alder had volunteered to bring it back. I'd tried to convince him that it was happy where it was and I wouldn't be well enough to ride for a few days, anyway. But he'd insisted. I think he wanted to feel useful.
"I swear that thing is possessed by an imp," he said. "Never again." I just smiled up at him. He wiped his brow, rather dramatically, then leaned in to kiss me. "I'll just pop in to say hello to Pim."
As I waited for Alder, I watched a black-capped tern diving into the ocean for a fish. I closed my eyes and listened to the rushing waves and cacophonous birdsong. To the trilling kee-ar, kee-ar of the terns and the long mew of the gulls. I'd just about drifted off to the land of nod when Alder returned, a beach chair under each arm.
"I'll run these down and then be back to carry you," he said.
"No need." I stood, gripping the basket of daylilies in both hands. "I'm all right to walk."
"Wyn..."
"I could use the exercise," I said. And because I could see the argument forming on his lips, I added, "But you can carry me back."
"Deal," he said, a grin on his face like he'd won a prize.
"But when I'm feeling better, expect an arm wrestling challenge, since you seem to think I can't take care of myself."
"No way," he said. "I've seen your muscles."
And though it sent a painful zing through my chest, I laughed. Together, we made our way slowly over the dunes and rocky beach. I was wearing a long skirt, too long really as it had once belonged to Celeste, and it trailed behind me through the sand. It was made from a pale, diaphanous material and felt lovely against my legs, almost like wearing nothing. But better.
I tied the skirt in a knot at my knees to keep it dry and we plopped our chairs among the gray and white gulls scavenging along the shoreline. Alder pulled a rolled up paperback from his back pocket and settled himself in his chair, the swash of the waves lapping at his bare feet.
I sat, too, and tossed the white head of a daylily into the bay. The waves were sleeping further out but breaking near shore, enough so that they carried my flowers away. With every bloom I released, I cried. Tears of shame, of pain, of loss. Tears soaked into soft petals and given to the Goddess. Tears for myself and for Pim, for Layla Flint and Iris Chen. Tears for my mothers, Cress and Rose Blackthorn. And all the while, Alder sat silently by my side, reading his book. I tossed a flower for him, too. For the second and the first.
When my basket was empty and Alder several more chapters into his book, we folded up our chairs to leave. Alder didn't ask if I wanted to be carried this time, but I knew he'd gladly do it if I asked. As we turned away from the bay, I was surprised to see Orin and Lemon a little ways up the beach. It wasn't entirely out of the ordinary, as Orin and his family lived in a cottage about a half mile closer to town, but still unexpected. Our families tended not to stray onto each other's stretch of sand.
"Should we say hello?" I said. I was wary of Lemon. I'd told Alder that she suspected him, and neither of us were sure what to do about it. I think he wanted to tell them. He remembered Lemon as a friend to the first Alder and was inclined to trust her, while I'd had an entirely different experience with her.
He shrugged. "I guess so."
We corrected our course to stop at their little encampment. Lemon was lying on her belly on a blanket, round sun spectacles perched on her nose, reading her way through a thick textbook. Her long, dark hair was in two braids and wrapped around her head. Orin sat next to her, legs crossed, a large sketchbook in his lap but angled in such a way that I couldn't see what he'd been drawing. His fingers were pale blue and green from the oil pastels he'd been using.
"Hello," I said.
"Hi, guys." Alder nodded his head since his hands were too full to wave.
Lemon peered at us over the top of her glasses. "Hey."
Though he didn't meet our eyes, Orin waved his blue-green fingers.
"You seem better," Lemon said, jutting her chin in my direction. "Than yesterday. What happened to you, anyway?"
Since she probably wouldn't believe me, I decided on the truth. Or a piece of it anyway. "I was struck by lightning." Alder's head whipped in my direction, his eyes wide.
"Yeah, right," Lemon said. I just shrugged and gave her a snarky smile.
"So, uh, Orin," Alder said. "What're you drawing?"
Orin hesitated, chewing on his lip, but eventually turned his pad so that we could see. I gasped. Orin had drawn my offering to the Goddess. Lush, foamy waves carrying delicate, white flowers. I felt the rock of the sea and the dance of the daylilies as they rose on the curling pockets of the waves. I'd swear my face was wet with the sea spray jumping off the page. Orin's version of the bay looked so full and soft and almost juicy, and I felt a bizarre urge to take a bite out of his picture.
"Wow," I said. "It's beautiful."
Orin dropped his sketchbook and pulled from his pocket the little notebook and pencil. He wrote in snappy, agitated motions. He thrust the pad at me. Leaning down to take the book, I felt a stab in my chest. I groaned in pain, pressing a palm to my heart.
Orin let out a distressed moan just as Alder dropped the beach chairs, hand flying to my back in alarm. "Wyn, Wyn, are you okay?"
I straightened up, exhaling loudly. "I'm fine, Alder." I glanced at Orin, who was rocking back and forth in distress. Lemon was on her knees, at his side. "Orin, I'm sorry. I was careless," I said. "Please, it's not your fault. Really." Orin covered his ears with his hands.
"Just give him a moment," Lemon said.
"Can we do anything?" Alder said. "Or do you want some privacy?"
"Just sit down and give us a little time. And quiet."
So we sat down and Alder retrieved the notepad from the ground, shaking sand from between the pages. He handed it to me so that I could read Orin's note. "I'm sorry. I should have asked your permission."
I laid down on my side, my head in Alder's lap. I don't know how much time passed, but eventually Orin's rocking had subsided so that it seemed to be more about soothing himself rather than a sign of distress. He'd dropped his hands from his ears and instead pulled gently on his springy copper curls. Lemon sat next to him, rubbing rough circles on his back. I sat up and placed his notebook next to his knee.
"I'm sorry I surprised you, Orin. I'm okay, really. And please don't worry about your drawing. It's beautiful. I love it. I'd heard you were talented, but I'd never seen for myself."
I glanced at Lemon only to find her staring at my chest in horror. My eyes dropped to my shirt, half of the buttons undone and my still raw scar on display.
"Shit," she said. "You really were struck by lightning."
I decided not to acknowledge that remark. "Did you guys want to come over for a bit?" I gestured in the direction of our cottage. "We've got a fresh batch of iced beach rose tea."
"I wish I could," Alder said. "I promised my dad I'd help at the bakery this afternoon."
"Darn. Do you want to ride in the sidecar with Pim? She's got to take a quick trip to town."
"Thanks but no thanks," he said. "I'm not riding one of those death traps with anyone but you."
Alder didn't seem to notice, but Lemon frowned at his remark. No doubt she remembered the first Alder zipping up and down Crone's Bend on his little red scooter. I cleared my throat.
"Lemon? Orin?" I said. "Tea?"
"I don't know," Lemon said. "What do you think, Ori?" He gave her a thumbs up. "Okay, I guess we're coming."
Alder helped them pack up their stuff and we slowly headed for the cottage. Pim was on her way out as we arrived and waved hello and goodbye. Alder stowed our beach chairs in our little shed, then kissed me several times, seemingly oblivious to the company we had.
He whispered that he'd see me tonight. We'd arranged to meet on the beach at midnight to try his mysterious plan to remove my enchantment. He kissed me once more and said, "You can tell them if you want. I've got a good feeling about it." No chance of that, I thought, but just smiled and waved as he left for the walk to town.
I opened the door to the kitchen for Lemon and Orin. "Make yourselves at home," I said. "I'll get our drinks."
Orin crossed through the kitchen into the living room, curling up on the sofa. The door to Pim's bedroom creaked open and Una slunk in, eyeing Orin on the couch. I called out to him. "How do you feel about cats, Orin?"
"He loves them," Lemon said. Apparently that was all the go ahead that Una needed to avail herself of Orin's lap. He snuggled her to his chest and she rubbed the top of her head on his chin.
I set three empty glasses on the kitchen table next to Lemon's thick book, which I couldn't help but notice was a text about herbal medicine. I'd mentioned to Orin that there might be an herbal remedy to soothe his anxiety and I wondered if that's what had sparked her interest. Or perhaps it was just a coincidence. Lemon was the top student in our school, and I presumed that her casual reading was very different from mine.
"If you're interested in herbalism, my auntie has a few books on that shelf," I said, pointing above the kitchen counter. I grabbed the pitcher of tea from the fridge. "And there's more in the living room. You're welcome to look."
"Thanks," she said. I kicked a squat, wooden stool in her direction and she climbed onto it.
"I know the basics, of course, but if your interest is more than casual, my Auntie Pim would be brilliant to talk to. She's a Master herbalist." Lemon snickered. I cocked my head. "What?"
She looked at me over her shoulder, shaking her head. "You're too damned nice, Selwyn."
"What do you mean?"
"I've been an utter shit to you for most of our lives," she said. "And here you are offering me all kinds of help."
I gave her my most disingenuous, smarmy smile. "Maybe I'm just trying to kill you with kindness?"
She laughed. "Sure." She returned to her search and when her back was to me, I stuck out my tongue. Who was she calling nice? Besides, helping her might help Orin, and I actually liked him. She hopped off the stool, a thick tome in her hand. Barker's Botanical Magic, a text Pim had had me read cover to cover. More than once. It was annotated in Pim's own hand.
"You can borrow that, if you like." I scooped up the three glasses of tea. "Auntie Pim won't mind, I'm sure."
Lemon raised an eyebrow. "You just lend out your aunt's books without asking?"
"Eh, we know magick. You lose it, we put a curse on you." I turned my back to her, smiling to myself, but I caught Orin watching me. To my surprise, he winked. Lemon followed me into the living room, dropping onto the couch next to Orin and eliciting a hiss from Una. "Good, kitty," I said.
"Oh, shut up." She sprawled over Orin's legs, which sent Una, tail up in annoyance, from the room. Lemon called after her "That's right, he's my boyfriend."
Orin rolled his eyes, nudging her with his elbow. Lemon scooted over, letting him get up to grab his sketchbook from the coffee table. He sat back down and they stared at each other, their faces twitching in subtle shifts of expression. They seemed to be having a silent conversation in dancing eyebrows, flaring nostrils, and pursing lips.
Finally, Lemon sighed and said, "Are you sure, Ori." He nodded, tapping the cover of his book. Lemon's shoulders drooped in acquiescence and she turned to me. "There's a reason Orin wanted to get a reading from you the other day."
I settled into a wingback chair next to the couch, propping my feet on a hassock. "Oh?"
"He's been having dreams," she said. I sat up straighter. I had also been having dreams. I believed that they had to do with me and Alder, with our relationship, but that explanation felt unfinished. There was some meaning that eluded me. That the Goddess hadn't yet revealed. Had she been sending Orin messages as well? "Or he's been having one dream over and over again."
I looked to Orin as he paged through his book, handing it to me open to what at first looked like another drawing of the sea. But then I saw that while I did recognize the foamy, blue-green waves of our bay, there was also something more on the page. Something unfamiliar, Otherworldly. Created with subtle shading, was a depression in the water. With my finger, I traced a rounded arch.
"It's a—"
"Gateway," Lemon said.
Orin removed his writing notebook and pencil from his pocket and I waited while he composed his message. I took the book and read, "When you said the cockle shell symbolized a gateway to another world, I just knew you were talking about my dreams. I've been dreaming of this door for months and I think it's real. It is, isn't it?"
I handed him back the notebook, unsure how much, if anything, to say.
"I can't help but notice, Selwyn," Lemon said, "that you don't look surprised."
"I'm not," I said. "Confused, but not surprised."
I sighed. I didn't know what to do. Alder seemed so sure that we should confide in them. My dreams weren't just symbolic messages, Alder's very real existence proved that, but perhaps they could mean more than one thing at a time. Pim said horses in dreams could be a nudge to the dreamer to take a leap into the unknown.
I had never had friends, so trusting others was definitely in the realm of the unknown. I had taken a leap into friendship with Alder. Should I jump again? Orin flapped his pad to get my attention, then bent over it to write another note. He handed it to me. "Please trust us. I know that Lemon's rough around the edges, but she wants a chance. She wants to be your friend and so do I."
I looked again at Orin's watery doorway. The portal my mother and Alder had crossed through to emerge in Saltash, I was sure. Why was Orin dreaming of it? Were his dreams connected to mine? They had to be. But, Goddess Below, what should I do? I glanced around the room, grasping for an answer, and my eyes caught on Una.
She was standing in the threshold to Pim's room, peeking around the door. She bobbed her head once. A nod. How did I ever think that Una was just a normal cat? I shook my head, cleared out the cobwebs of the lies I'd been told. No more lies. I took a deep breath and said, "The gateway in your dream... I think it goes to Faerie."