Edward and I didn't stay until the end of the reception. When he found me returning from the woods, he grabbed my arm, smiling as he dragged me along to the house. I didn't resist, too dizzy with the sounds of music as he led me along. I hadn't fully wiped the tears out of my eyes, but he didn't seem to notice them or think to put together why it was I had been crying. We just headed into the house where the lights were too bright white and the music from outside became a muffled beating.
"Get some sleep tonight," he told me. "We have a long day tomorrow."
My head rushed, trying to put it together in my head. We were married, I realized. That had been the ultimatum, and that had to mean he was turning me into a vampire. My mouth went suddenly dry as I looked at his dark smirk. My eternity with him would start with this, and once it was done all of it would be worth it.
"Tomorrow," I said. I leaned into him, wrapping my tired arms around him and pressing my forehead into his neck. I was so tired from the day's events that I was just amazed that our journey was almost over. Everything we'd done to be together was behind us. All the tests and the promises I'd kept. It all came to this.
"Go now," he said, dragging me out of his embrace. "We have an early morning tomorrow. Your bags are already packed."
I nodded weakly and followed his lead to bed. He held tight to my arm as we traversed the steps toward the room set aside for me. As soon as I turned on the light, I saw what he meant. Two suitcases were packed and sitting next to the vanity as we stumbled in. I nearly fell into bed with my wedding dress still on, but Edward stood me up and started to undo all the laces in the back with a fast and rough hand.
My tongue was thick and heavy in my mouth, stopping me from saying anything as he slid my arms through the sleeves and yanked the whole thing free from my body. I didn't know how I had gotten so dizzy and so tired. Perhaps it was all the grief of friendships lost and a young, single life gone. My world would be different from now on. I'd welcome being a vampire, I knew that well enough, but there was all this weight on my chest, all this loss.
I was too lost in my own skin to really do much of anything but get myself into bed and drag the blankets over my naked form. Edward sat on the bed next to me, his eyes glazing over me as I tried to find comfort in my sore bones. Swallowing down all the fog in my throat, I finally found the air to speak.
"Good night, Edward," I said, soft and slow, pushing each syllable out as precisely as I could manage.
"Good night, Bella," he returned, his low voice much clearer than mine. He seemed so levelheaded while I was swimming in overwhelming emotion. Love for him, loss for Jacob and Jessica, bittersweet regret that I would never be able to go back home again. My life was starting anew, and I felt drunk on it.
"Are you going to turn out the light?" I asked, wobbling through the words once again.
"I wanted to stay here and watch you," he said. "I'll make sure you get to sleep just fine."
I nodded weakly and closed my eyes, ceasing the burning that came at the back of my eyes as the light of my room bore into me. I laid silently, drifting into a heavy sleep, like an anchor drifting to the bottom of the ocean. The last thing I felt before I was out was Edward's hand tracing lines along my bare hip.
When I woke, I was still sore all over. The birds were chirping a song that banged into my head as they sang. Slowly, I opened my eyes and peeped out over my blankets to find Edward gone from the room. Light streamed in from the sunrise, shining into my eyes as I tried to bring myself into the morning.
As soon as I sat up, I found myself naked and shivering a bit in the cold of the house. My dress was in a heap on the floor along with my undergarments and the pins from my hair. I stepped around them with a wide berth as I headed for the closet to find a pair of shorts and a tee shirt to wear for the day. When I sat down at the vanity, dressed in fresh clothes, I caught the feeling of the ring on my finger as I clasped my hand down on the table. It made a soft sound as it scraped against the wood, and I found myself looking at that little yellow diamond once again.
I twisted it a little on my finger as I watched the way it sparkled, reassessing the wedding and all the festivities of the day before. I was surprised to find I looked back on it with warmth and happiness even with all the chaos I'd endured. Walking down the aisle with my Dad, seeing Jessica, and dancing with Jacob fell to the back of my mind and Edward took up his place front and center. I smiled at myself and my new life.
After I had finished getting ready, brushing my hair and waking myself up, I wandered downstairs to the kitchen where I expected to see Esme in the kitchen. Instead, it was empty as I stepped inside, and the lights were turned off. I stood still for a second, as if I had missed something. It wasn't like Esme to sleep in or to be anywhere besides the kitchen. In fact, I hadn't actually seen anyone since I'd left my room.
A sudden worry crossed my mind as I imagined all the places Esme and the rest of the family could be at this time. I didn't have the time to ponder it much however, because someone grabbed my shoulder, eliciting a gasp from me as I turned to see Edward standing behind me. He stood simply, as if it were the most normal thing in the world, as if he hadn't given me a mini panic attack.
"Are you ready?" he asked. "It's a long flight."
With my mouth still open and the gears in my head grinding to a stop, I glanced to the empty kitchen behind me and then back to Edward. He stood expectantly as I struggled to process what was going on so early in the morning.
"Yeah," I said after a moment. "My bags are still upstairs."
"Go get them," Edward said. "The car is here."
The car he was referring to was a taxi sitting in the driveway. I dragged my bags along with me outside as Edward waited for me, having already packed his things in the trunk. After I shoved them in and slammed the trunk shut, it was time to leave the Cullen house behind. Some part of me wondered how long it would be before I saw this house again and if I would see it the same way when I got back.
After hopping into the back seat next to Edward, the driver backed out of the long driveway and drove us off toward our destination. I watched the woods speed by next to us as we left Forks and the area of Washington which I had called home for almost two years.
"Where are we going?" I asked Edward after some time in silence with him.
"It's a surprise," he said. "You'll see when we get there."
With that, I shut up and kept watching out the window as we moved. The longer we spent in the car, the more I put together about this trip. We appeared to be heading toward Seattle, but I couldn't be sure that was our final destination. I turned out to be right when the taxi pulled into the first terminal of Seattle's airport. I wracked my brain for where we would be going, but I supposed I would have to find out when we boarded the plane.
That assumption turned out to be wrong however, as Edward led us passed the check in, passed security and to a small, private terminal away from all the bustling businessmen and vacationers. We were on our plane in the time it would have taken anyone else to get through security, and there was still no sign of where we were going.
The plane was small compared to the commercial jets that flew out of this airport, but with just the two of us, it felt giant. I sat next to the window as the plane took off, watching the ground rumble under us until we lifted off and it fell away, turning the world into tiny shapes below. Up here, I felt myself go calm and clear, like all the chaos of the wedding had finally drifted away and I was me again.
After we had ascended above the clouds and all I could see was white, I leaned over to Edward. "How long is the flight?" I asked.
He smirked and shook his head. "If I told you that, you'd be able to figure it out."
He wasn't totally wrong. I would be able to estimate the distance and make an educated guess, but I couldn't read his mind. I could only hope that he had something special planned for turning me. This was what I'd been waiting for since the moment I agreed to marry him after all. I fell asleep to the sound of the plane barreling through the air and the thoughts of an eternal, unending life together.
The flight, as it turned out, was just about thirteen hours long, although when we started to descend, I had no idea what time it was. The plane roared all the way through our descent and though I'd flown in a plane before, it didn't fail to make my whole body feel like jello when we landed. When we were safely on the ground and ported to the terminal, Edward took my hand and dragged me up.
As we left the plane, I was greeted by a voice reading over the intercom in a language that sounded like Spanish at first before I later learned it was Portuguese. Another voice came through just after that, saying the same thing in English. "Welcome to Rio De Janeiro International Airport. It is currently 9:00 PM on June 21st. Enjoy your stay."
I whipped my head around to look at Edward as we walked through the airport. "Rio!" I snapped. "Edward, I don't have a passport!"
"Yes you do," he said and pulled out a small blue booklet from his pocket. I yanked it out of his hand and opened it to find a poor, washed out looking picture of me at age 14 beside all my personal information. I grimaced at the passport, which I had forgotten I actually had.
"Where did you get this?" I demanded. I was furious and though my anger usually washed away as soon as I felt it stirring, it didn't do that now. Instead, I felt all of it, and it stayed, churning inside me. I didn't know why I was so angry now when I'd never managed to stay angry with Edward in Forks.
"I got it when I picked up your stuff from Chief Swan's house," he said as if that were completely normal. I had no idea why he hadn't simply given it back to me before, but I stifled my anger as he led me toward customs. It wasn't right to start a honeymoon off like this, so I let him win this one.
As soon as we stepped out into the city of Rio De Janeiro, I was struck by the feeling of this place. The city smelled sweet, like candy and beer, and sweat. Music wafted through the air even as far as the airport and as we walked down to meet our taxi, we passed a busker on the corner, playing for tourists even here.
The city seemed to pass in a blur, my senses overwhelming me as Edward led me through, past corner shops and dancing in the street. A pair of boys had a television set up before a closed storefront as they watched the soccer game in staticky images. This was the Rio of the night, a tourist town filled with dancing and alcohol. I couldn't have imagined someone as straightlaced as Edward stepping foot in this city, but here he was, holding my hand as we dove through the sights.
We didn't stay in the city for long. After having found a small place for me to eat dinner, he leaned in toward my ear. "I have a surprise," he whispered.
He took me to a boat, a little ferry piloted by an old man and his little wife. It appeared that they had been waiting for Edward to arrive, because they welcomed the two of us onto the boat as soon as we arrived. I took a seat at the edge of the boat, by the railing so I could see over the edge to where the water looked black and churning. As we started to move, Edward wouldn't come sit next to me, but stood under the mast, watching me with unblinking eyes. I patted the space next to me, but he refused to move from his spot. From where he stood, he had a vantage point of the ship's caption piloting us through the waves, and of me.
Eventually, I gave up on getting him to look over the edge with me and stared at the moon instead. The crescent shape loomed over the water and the ocean mirrored it back with a disrupted revision. I spent the whole ride staring at those two moons as they moved in slow motion across the sky and through the water, but soon they were upset by an island, which rose up over the horizon, a small dot until we got close enough the see its silhouette.
The first thing I saw as soon as we were close enough was the house. It rose up over the beach, the lights turned on and shining a yellow light through the large windows that that made up the whole front of the house. I followed the lines of light until I reached the dock that stretched out into the ocean past a winding set of steps to the beach. My eyes went wide with delight at the glowing beauty of the place. How long our honeymoon would and the time it would take to turn me into a vampire, I didn't know, but my heart raced with the idea of doing it here, safe, sound, and alone with Edward.
Finally, when we were nearing the dock did Edward come to join me, leaning against the rails and staring at the island with me. "It's called Isle Esme," he said. "Carlisle bought it for Esme when they first met, but it hasn't really had much use in a while."
I couldn't imagine Esme having any interest in a private island or a tropical beach. She didn't seem to enjoy the outdoors much at all and she stayed away from the woods in Forks. If she wasn't in the kitchen, she was keeping herself closely guarded and well put together. She rarely went into town or walked about outside. I couldn't even imagine her out of the prim dresses she often wore.
"It's beautiful," I said, shoving Esme out of my head. This was for me. Edward and I would be alone here for as long as we needed. My heart raced with anticipation. Very soon, I would be a vampire and our life could start together for real.
The ferry docked with a large jerk and shake as the captain brought us to a halt. Edward grabbed my wrist quick as I jerked a little, regaining my balance. He held on a little too tight and for a little too long. When he did finally let go, he brushed past me to lead the way to the dock. I followed close behind to the dock where the captain was waiting with a lantern in his grip. He gave me a stern look as I past him by, his eyes narrowed and heavy like he was watching a tragedy unfold before his eyes.
Edward thanked him in Portuguese and the captain's gaze turned from me to him for a second before he grumbled something in response and turned back to his boat. As he disappeared back on board, Edward dragged me along up the dock and past the beach towards the steps of the large beach house before us.
My heart leapt into my throat as we made our way up to the house. Tonight was the night Edward would make me into a vampire. I could feel his own excitement as he held onto me, leading me up. Despite my anxieties, I was ready for it. No amount of pain could steer me away from this choice. I needed to be a vampire like I needed to survive, like I needed Edward. It was our one way to be together, to be equals.
I followed Edward up the stairs at a brisk pace, my suitcase banging against my leg as I went, but I couldn't feel it. Edward opened the sliding glass doors to the large, open beach house before us. Candles were set up on the tables and everywhere the eye could see. Roses stood in a large vase on the kitchen island, open and bright. The wallpaper all around was yellow like the sun, brightening up the already wide-open space. I floated into the living room, marveling at the shine of this room.
"I love it," I said as the breath left me. Edward came up behind me, placing a soft hand on the small of my back as he leaned his head over me. I couldn't breathe with him so near. I couldn't move, like one wrong move would cause him to overreact. I held still as he brushed the hair away from my neck.
Slowly, he pressed his lips to the base of my neck, and I prepared myself to feel the sting of his bite. My arm seemed to flare up at the touch with the memory of the last time he'd bit me. I closed my eyes and waited for the bite, but it never came. He kissed up my neck, hard and heavy until his lips found the edge of my jaw.
"I'm ready," I whispered. I didn't care how long the transformation took. I wanted this more than anything. I gripped the edge of my shorts to keep myself from pressing my nails into my palm. This was going to hurt.
He turned me around slowly, guiding my hips to face him. I held my head high, revealing every inch of my neck to him. He didn't look hesitant about this like I expected though. He had always avoided the conversation of turning me, but the look in his eyes told me he was ready to be with me too. He wanted this as much as I did.
"Bite me," I told him.
Edward's face changed, but only for a second. For a moment I thought he had changed his mind. I'd misjudged his look after all. "Not yet," he said. "I want to feel everything with you, my wife."
I swallowed the apprehension making its way up my throat. I should have known better. This was our honeymoon after all, and there were expectations, ones that I would not be writhing in pain on our first night together after the wedding. We'd waited all this time because he wouldn't, didn't want to. I'd wrongly assumed that meant he was less interested in having sex with me and more interested in simply being with me.
As he leaned in toward me to press his lips to mine, my head went numb and thoughtless. I let him kiss me, pressing himself deeply into me. His hands ran up into my hair and pulled as I stood there, unable to form a coherent thought. This must have been lust, but I'd never felt anything so intensely before.
He broke away for a moment and pressed his forehead to mine, giving me a second to catch up. "After tonight," I said, breathy and hoarse, "you'll turn me."
Edward nodded absently and gripped his hands around my hips, pressing me back into the couch behind me. I thought I heard him whisper something under his breath like a name, but I told myself I was hearing things when I first thought it was Edith that he said. I hadn't thought of that name in so long, but it remained inside my mind, spinning like the waves.
My body went stiff and motionless as he touched me, like every touch was an attempt to break me apart. I tensed instead of relaxed with every movement. My mouth was heavy as he kissed me and I couldn't pull away or ask him to stop, to slow down. The wires of my brain had stopped transmitting anything at all and I went blank.
Edward was not gentle. He wasn't soft or slow. He didn't ask me how I liked it or where to go. He seemed to know what he was doing, and I let him, still thinking of the bite I was waiting on. It hurt almost like that, and I told myself I liked it, but in all honesty, I wished he had stopped.
((Trigger Warning: Implied SA))