A/n: Here's a bit of clarification for those who need it!
(G/c)= gem color
(G/n)=gem name
(H/c)=hair color
(H/l)= hair length
(E/c)= eye color
(F/m)= favorite movie
Enjoy the chapter!!
"He's cutting one of those carrot things again!" H.R.Q. squealed. She had been narrating Steven's actions ever since she left the ship. I was half-tempted to gag her, but when I first suggested it to Steven, he told me that they were just really excited. "Goooooooing~~ uuuup~ to~~ his~ mouth!" H.R.Q. exclaimed, dragging out her words as Steven lifted the carrot to his mouth and ate it. "Ah! And it's gone!"
She leaned close to his face, eyes wide and curious. Chewing his food, Steven turned to the rose quartz who was the only one at the dinner table who seemed unaffected by the tense atmosphere. Garnet looked composed as always, but her crossed arms and legs suggested she was not in the mood. Next to Steven, Pearl rested her head against her hand as if it was holding back a hurricane of a headache from H.R.Q.'s cheers. Even the other Rose Quartzes couldn't rally the same enthusiasm as their companion. In fact, they were also uncomfortable. "Wow! No one can eat a carrot-thing like you!" H.R.Q. gushed, clasping her hands together.
I pocketed a towel from one of the kitchen drawers to be a gag if I needed one. Sorry, Steven, I thought. I'd like to keep my sanity.
"I have been doing this for 16 years now," Steven said with a smile. "I would hope that–"
"Hey, Shtuball!" Mr. Universe called, his sudden entrance drawing everyone's gaze towards the door. "Any idea how long the zoo-mans are gonna be around? I haven't had this many exes show up at once since–" His eyes widened and words failed him. He finally noticed they had company. Rose quartz company.
Ever the energetic one, H.R.Q. smiled wide and waved to Mr. Universe. "Hi! How are you?" He looked to Pearl for some sort of explanation, but she only glanced at S.R.Q. seated next to her and gave him a helpless shrug.
"I can feel the rest of my hair falling out!" Mr. Universe said. He looked like a deer caught in headlights, frozen in place but eyes desperate to flee.
Steven's chair screech across the hard wood floor when he suddenly stood up and extended a hand towards his dad. "Dad, wait! You wanna join us for dinner?" Steven asked, his voice sounding more awkward as he continued to speak.
"Nope!" Mr. Universe yelled, his voice cracking a bit, before he bolted out of the house faster than I thought he was able.
Steven lowered his hand and sighed, though I got the sense that he couldn't put it past his old man for leaving so quickly. And, based on the rough explanation Steven gave me this morning on the whole "Rose Quartz" situation, I couldn't either. Heck, if Steven wasn't set on meeting their expectations as a welcoming host, I would've swept him away just as fast.
"Aaaaaaaalright! Ha," H.R.Q. exclaimed. "Back to this eating thing!"
She just has to put her face so close to Steven's, I thought. Being a gem is no excuse to intrude on other lifeforms' personal space, especially it makes them uncomfortable!
"What was that, (Y/n)?" Pearl asked. I barely registered that she was talking to me since she was staring at the table.
Please tell me I didn't say that out loud, I thought.
"Hm?" Pearl said when I didn't respond.
"Oh! It's... nothing," I mumbled. Thankfully, I could put off curling up into my hoodie to die since Steven didn't hear me. He was occupied with watching H.R.Q. narrate the steps of eating like a human.
"You know," C.R.Q. said, "if I had a pearl, I would've wanted her to be just like you." She slid a plate of butter in front of Pearl. "Have you tried this butter stuff?"
"O-oh! It's okay, but thank you, Ro–o–-oose," Pearl said, her discomfort increasing by the second.
"Excuse me, Pearl," S.R.Q. said with her soft voice. "Are you feeling okay?" The sincerity and concern shining in her eyes was potent, not to mention she already looked like a replica of Steven's mom– or Steven's mom looks like a replica of her? Either way, I decided to snag the extra long hand towels too in case the Crystal Gems needed blindfolds to compliment the gags.
"I am going to the bathroom!" Pearl announced and left the table. Steven frowned as he watched her walk away. Knowing Steven, he was probably worried about her and wanted to comfort her.
"Hey, you're looking kinda tense," C.R.Q. said to Garnet. "Why don't I give you a nice, relaxing massage while we talk?" She held up her hands, ready to start massaging, and Garnet leaned away from the gem.
Garnet suddenly stood up. "I'm also going to the bathroom," she said before joining Pearl in the bathroom which had apparently become a sanctuary from this awkward family dinner. Now, Steven and I were the only ones left to keep the Rose Quartzes occupied.
"Okay, Steven! I totally got this whole eating thing down! Here!" H.R.Q. exclaimed. She stabbed a piece of carrot with her fork and held it up to his mouth. "Open your face-hole~" Steven eyed the carrot, but he reluctantly let the gem feed him. "Oh, wow! Good job!"
"Thank you? ...I should probably see how they're doing in there," Steven said, pointing to the bathroom behind him with his thumb.
I couldn't blame him. Steven was having a difficult time, too, but he was sticking it out because he had his family, his emotional support, with him. No matter how much I want to be that for Steven, I can't do that with the relationship we have now. I'm just another gem he thinks he needs to help. Another person to show his happy facade. With that being said, I couldn't help but feel disappointed in Pearl and Garnet for leaving Steven to face this nightmare on his own.
"We'll come with you!" H.R.Q. said.
"No," I said, drawing the Rose Quartzes' attention to me and my pockets stuffed with kitchen towels. "They need to have a family discussion. It's a human thing."
"Wow! Is that why humans homes have bathrooms?" H.R.Q. asked. I looked at Steven and tilted my head in the direction of the bathroom.
He gave me a relieved smile, and suddenly, the world looked a little brighter. Every new side of Steven was like a dose of sunshine in my veins. It made everything leading up to now worth it because he was worth it. "You guys wait here. I'll be right back," he said. Before entering the bathroom, I heard Steven sigh and mutter something under his breath. "They're not her. It's not weird."
Oh, Steven, I thought.
"Let's check it out when they're done," C.R.Q. told the others. I walked up to the bathroom door and leaned against it like a proper protecter.
"I thought the 'family discussion' happens on the other side of the door? Why aren't you going inside? Do humans prefer communicating through doors?" H.R.Q. asked, each question stinging me like barbed wire.
"Isn't this super weird!" Pearl yelled on the other side of the door.
"Because I'm not a part of their family," I said, wishing my voice didn't sound as harsh as it did, as harsh as the words felt.
"Oh," H.R.Q. said. I was almost surprised she could be anything other than happy, but being around Steven taught me that people have more emotions than the ones they project.
The silence gave me a chance to listen in on snippets of the Crystal Gems' conversation. Steven was talking about how they shouldn't have ditched the Rose Quartzes. His voice eased the tension building within me from H.R.Q.'s questions.
"If you're curious about human behavior, you should try it yourself," I told the Rose Quartzes. "Don't make it Steven's job to hold your hand into your new lives."
"We were made for a purpose, and we never even got a chance live up to that. What are we supposed to in a place that doesn't need or want us?" S.R.Q. murmured, and the others joined her in staring down at the table.
I crossed my arms and closed my eyes against the flashbacks threatening to overtake my senses. "Having no purpose is a lot better than you think. You won't fail to meet people's expectations on who you are because all you have to do is live the way you want," I said. Steven's voice through the door cleared away the past and replaced it with the warm and fuzzy sense of security of the present. A small smile tugged at my lips when I dared to imagine a future beside Steven.
H.R.Q. beamed. "Wow! I–"
I lifted up a kitchen towel to silence her. "If you don't stop annoying me, I will gag you," I warned.
Just then, I heard Steven say from the other side of the door, "–I'm going back out there–"
I quickly stuffed the towel back into my pocket and tried to move away from the bathroom door to hide my eavesdropping. I didn't make it too far when the door opened. I whirled to face Steven before he bumped into me.
"Woah!" Steven exclaimed, eyes wide. We were going to fall– I almost wanted us to fall– but I knew Steven too well. He wrapped his arms around me as we started to teeter, ready to cushion my fall, but I slid my arms to hug his neck and took half a step back to steady the both of us. It was a weird position with Steven fully leaning against me, his arms at my lower back and mine around his neck, and our faces so close that our noses were a mere inch apart. Out of context, it looked like he was dipping me.
My face was completely red, and my brain shut down, unable to process the fact that Steven had yet to move away as he was still recovering from the fall. If I looked closer, I might've seen his blush, but my rose-colored vision only saw his eyes. They took in my embarrassment and stripped me bare of all the emotions that hid the one that mattered to me the most. Steven looked into my (e/c) eyes, and surprise flickered in his gaze at what secrets he found.
Then, Steven was yanked out of my arms. My body started to drift after him, yearning to return to the moment when it was just the two of us and our feelings, but I stopped myself from chasing that desire.
"Whahaha!" H.Q.R. laughed, spinning a startled Steven around. "I want to dance with Steven, too!"
He didn't look so good after H.R.Q. released him. "Sorry haha. You surprised me. But, uh, it's fine haha," Steven said, his voice sounding choked. He looked a lot like how Mr. Universe did when he ran away earlier. Except Steven doesn't run away– at least not physically.
Maybe that family discussion did more harm than good, I thought.
He backed up into S.R.Q. and instantly recoiled away from her. He was acting more and more like a caged animal. S.R.Q. looked between Steven and the Rose Quartz painting on the wall. "Maybe we should go. We don't want to overstay our welcome," she said.
"That would be wonderful," I blurted out.
"But we're having so much fun~," C.R.Q. said.
"Do...you not want us here?" H.R.Q. asked Steven dejectedly.
"Ye–" I started, producing a towel from my pocket to wave it as a threat.
"N-No!" Steven exclaimed above the sound of my response. "Y-You're totally welcome here! Right, (Y/n)?"
I only continued to stare down the Rose Quartzes, towel in hand.
Steven tried to fill in the tense silence. "You know what? Y-y-you should stay over!" As soon as he said it, Steven seemed to regret it.
"For the night!" H.R.Q. squealed.
Steven's cheeks twitched from forcing his smile for so long. "Sssssslumber party~!" He yelled. "We should have an Earth-style slumber party!"
"Cool~. What is slumber?" C.R.Q. asked.
"This is so great haha!" H.R.Q. shouted. "I'm dying! I am dead! I am dead Rose Qu–"
Unable to take it anymore, I jumped onto her back, wrapped my legs around her waist, and tied the towel into the perfect gag. Steven couldn't even find the words to tell me to knock it off. He just let out a weak laugh, trapped in his thoughts of wanting to be anywhere but here.
I frowned and glanced between the bathroom where Pearl and Garnet continued to hide and Steven's pained expression. Maybe things were worse than I thought.
(We interrupt this program to– Time Skip!)
That night, the Rose Quartzes, Steven, and I huddled around the TV in Steven's room watching a movie. All of the quartzes' eyes were glued to the screen, entranced by the life it held. Gem technology had been dedicated to help the Diamonds conquer the galaxy so there was little use in creating entertainment like movies.
"Wow! So that's a movie!" H.R.Q. said. "Let's watch another!
"Take your pick," Steven said.
"We should watch (f/m)," I said to no one in particular.
For the first time since he suggested the slumber party, Steven's eyes sparked to life. "You've seen movies before?" he asked. He leaned towards me, eager to hear my response. I blushed under the hood of my sweatshirt.
"A few..." I mumbled, playing with the sleeves.
"Wow! I guess I didn't expect you to have seen movies since you came to Little Homeworld with you being my 'protector' and all," Steven said.
I paused my fidgeting. "...I saw them before," I said.
His eyebrows pinched together in confusion. "Before? You didn't come from Homeworld?"
"How about this one!" H.R.Q. announced before inserting a VHS tape. Steven's mom popped up on the screen. Steven froze beside me.
[Steven, we can't both exist,] the Rose Quartz on-screen said.
"Ah!" Steven screeched. He rushed up to turn off the TV and nervously faced us. "Time for bed!"
(Mini Time Skip brought to you by that traumatic, one-sided mother-son talk)
"Steven, can I...sleep in here– just for tonight! I have to protect you!" I said, my embarrassment making my words jumble and rushed.
Steven finished zipping up H.R.Q. into her sleeping bag that made her look like a pickle and looked up at me. "I mean, it is a slumber party," I mumbled.
"Of course!" he said with a laugh. Then, he turned off the lights and nestled into his bed. "Is everyone comfortable?" Steven asked.
"Yep!" H.R.Q. said.
"Me, too," C.R.Q. responded. S.R.Q. was silent.
"Are you sure you don't want me to grab you a sleeping bag or at least a pillow, (Y/n)?" Steven asked me, leaning over the side of his bed.
"I'm fine, but thanks, Steven," I said with a smile. He didn't believe me so I laid down on the floor using my arms as a pillow. "See? comfy," I told him.
"Good," Steven said. "I'm glad one of us is."
His mattress creaked as he laid down, and then, the room was silent. I got out of my curled position on the floor to rest my head the bed and watched Steven take even breaths. It was something I envied humans for– breathing. Gems don't need to breathe; we either exist, or we don't. But humans do not simply exist. Every inhale and exhale is part of a complex system that allows them to live.
Steven opened his eyes. "Whaaaaat are you doing?" He asked, awkwardly.
My actions must seem strange to him. I smiled softly at the thought. But to me, he's the strange one.
"Guarding you," I whispered.
Steven shook his head with a helpless expression and close his eyes again.
Suddenly, H.R.Q. spoke up. "So, how do you sleep?"
"You just lay down, close your eyes, and don't say anything," Steven responded. Her incessant pestering was also getting to him.
I was beginning to think that I wouldn't have to use my remaining towel to gag her– Steven confiscated the others– when she spoke up again. "It's a shame we're leaving tomorrow," H.R.Q. said.
"Yeah, I wish you could just stay here forever!" Steven said in an almost sarcastic tone. I thought I'd misheard him. Steven is so genuine towards others, but given the circumstances, it was understandable.
"Really! You mean it?" She asked, giving him a hopeful stare.
"'Course he means it," C.R.Q. cut in. "Why would he say it if he didn't mean it?"
It's called sarcasm, I thought.
"Then, yes! The answer is yes! We would love to live with you!" H.R.Q. cheered.
Did they not listen to a word I said at dinner!
"Ah!" Steven yelled, sitting up as though he was waking up from a nightmare. "I mean! Y-y-y-you c-co-ould, but then, uh, l-li-lion might get mad? He can be very territorial and, um–"
"Can't you guys take a hint!" S.R.Q. yelled, sitting up. "He doesn't want us to be here!"
"And we have a winner!" I muttered under my breath.
"He doesn't like us!" S.R.Q. continued. I raised an eyebrow at that. Steven wouldn't go so far to be nice to gems he didn't like. It's just that the Rose Quartzes make him uncomfortable because they remind him of his traumatic relationship with his mom.
"What~," C.R.Q. said.
"There's no way that's true! Right, Steven?" H.R.Q. gasped. "Your face!"
Steven anxiously bit his blanket and looked off to the side. "It's not that I don't like you! I-It's– It's just..."
"Wow..." H.R.Q. said. "He really does hate us."
I stood up, fists clenched. They weren't listening to him at all!
S.R.Q. got out of her sleeping bag. "I'm going back to the ship," she said. "Sorry for bothering you, Steven."
"Man~, this is such a bummer," C.R.Q. said before following S.R.Q. out Steven's sliding door.
H.R.Q. stood in her sleeping bag, tears in her eyes, and faced Steven. "Never meet your heroes." Then, she hopped out of the room crying.
Steven groaned, and called out to them. "Wait!"
I rushed after them and blocked them from entering the greenhouse and reaching the portal inside. "We're leaving just like you wanted us to," S.R.Q. said.
"Listen to what Steven has to say first," I told them.
"Wait!" Steven called again, joining them at the greenhouse entrance. "Please– Please don't leave like this! I'm really sorry. It's not like I don't like you or don't want you– it's just that," Steven covered his face with his hands, " you look so much like her. Like my mom! I thought I was ready to move on and not have her hanging over me anymore, but... I can barely be in a room with you because I still feel all twisted up about her! I've been pretending that I'm fine because it's not your fault. But... I'm not fine..."
Steven closed his eyes and hung his head as if confessing what he truly felt was a crime. I wanted to hug and reassure him, but I couldn't. He was finally expressing the emotions he had locked deep inside. These words weren't really for my ears; they were for him and the Rose Quartzes. My intrusion would only scare him back into his shell.
"We've been pretending, too," S.R.Q. said.
Steven open his eyes. "Huh?"
"To be fine," she clarified.
"We're not pretending!" H.R.Q. said in her cheery tone. "We're having so much fun!"
"C'mon. Let's give it a rest," C.R.Q. told her.
H.R.Q. sighed. "Fine~."
S.R.Q. returned Steven's honesty with some honesty of her own. As she spoke, his face bloomed with relief. Now when he smiled or laughed, it was real. Thank goodness, I thought.
He helped H.R.Q. unzip her sleeping bag and received a big side hug from the gem. "So– wait– do you all still wanna live here?" Steven asked.
I pulled the last towel out of my pocket. It would have to make do if I had to forcibly relocate the Rose Quartzes to avoid living with them. Then, I realized that I was still blocking the door to the portal and quickly stepped aside.
"Oh gosh no!" H.R.Q. voiced my thoughts. "I don't know why I said that!" I released a big sigh of relief. The trio weren't awful, but they were definitely annoying.
"Well, feel free to visit if you all want. No pressure!" He said.
The warm smiles on the Rose Quartzes' faces looked far from pressured. "Thanks, Steven," S.R.Q. said.
"Later, Rose Quartz," Steven said as he waved the trio farewell.
After they were zapped away, he turned to me. The words he was going to say got stuck in his throat when something caught his eye. "(Y/n)...Why do you have a towel?"
(Have you seen a mini horse? Well, then you'll LOVE the Mini Time Skip!)
"Thanks, Lion," Steven said petting the oversized pink house-cat. I expected a bit more shoving and frustration when he said he was going to put the portrait of his mom in Lion's mane. Seeing Steven disappear into the long fur, painting in hand, nearly gave me a heart attack. It was an unbearably long couple of minutes without Steven and no idea how to get him back...
I fixed my gaze on the floor, knowing that if I looked at him, I would be too embarrassed to say what I wanted. "Steven... can we still, uh, finish the slumber party?" I asked.
Before Steven could respond, I added, "To test bodyguard strategies!"
I slowly lifted my head and only to be assaulted by his brilliant, moonlit grin. "Sure~," he laughed, not believing me in the slightest.
This time, I didn't reject Steven's offer of using a sleeping bag. It didn't take long for the cocoon of warmth and Steven's soft snores to lull me to sleep.
Something was wrong. Even the darkness, broadcasting my every thought, was wrong. It wasn't the familiar darkness that cloaked me from other gems. What belonged to this darkness was indistinguishable, and I did not belong.
A large silhouette of a pristine Pearl appeared. Facet-6F9L, Cut-9XG has been summoned by Yellow Diamond, her voice boomed.
The darkness folded, forming a long path that led to a palanquin. Both were made of darkness, but the palanquin had a distinct yellow sheen as though no shadow could damper the perfectness of a Diamond's color.
I had no body to flee with. I could only freeze under the pressure of the diamond. A trapped consciousness. I did nothing wrong! I shouted, but I had no mouth to speak.
Suddenly, the path shortened. The palanquin, omnipotent and angry, drew nearer with every second.
I was not alone on my unwilling journey.
Lurking in the vacuum of space, voices lashed out and tore open my scars. They yapped insults at me like hyenas, playing with their food. Not even good enough for experiments, one voice hissed.
Shatter her! another roared. The bodiless crowd buzzed in cruel agreement. The path picked up the pace.
NO! Please don't! I shouted despite how futile it was. My gem flared with (g/c) light in defiance; it wouldn't go down without a fight. I placed my hands over it, trying to snuff out the glow. An ice-like grip seized hold of me. I convulsed in disgust from its touch. It squeezed. Then, it let go briefly only to squeeze harder as if letting me know my place.
ShAttEr hEr! The crowd yelled louder, damning me from all sides.
ShATtEr HEr! The palanquin drew closer.
SHATTER HER! A yellow hand shot out from the palanquin.
"(Y/n)! (Y/n)! Are you alright?" Steven shouted, gripping my shoulders.
Steven...? I thought. I'd been a while since I last slept, and my mind was a mess.
A (g/c) light caught eye. On my thigh, my gem glowed, ready for me to draw my weapon as though it had sensed the danger I felt in my nightmare. I took a deep breath, reassured myself that I was safe, and the light dimmed.
Noticing Steven's worried look, I asked, "What's wrong?"
His gaze dipped lower. "Your hands..." he trailed off.
Deep grooves traced back to my fingertips buried into splintering wooden planks on each side of me. I must've done it while I was asleep.
Steven helped me free and bandage my hands. He didn't get mad or scold me for the damage. He didn't even ask for an explanation as he hammered in new floor boards.
I watched him work, guilt roiling in my gut. "I'm sorry," I said.
A/n: And that's the end of Episode 3! (Y/n)'s mysterious past is revealed little by little... What do you think happened before she met Steven?