<3
~*~
After I woke up it was like everything was hazy, especially after hearing the news of Julian... I was absolutely furious with myself at first, but I realized that it would've happened whether or not I was there. That's the risk he knew of from the very beginning and even though it was a risk he took, I'm still going to end the life of the one who took him from us.
I didn't know him very long, but you can tell he was an amazing person who cared about others. He hated killing and being in this lifestyle just as much as me and... I just- I wish I could see him one more time and finally see that damn smile he's been hiding. Such a sweet and innocent boy.
One thing I was most definitely shocked to hear was that he and Fisher must've been in a secret relationship, which I didn't expect at all since Fisher flirted with me since the very beginning. It certainly was very confusing to hear for me. But I didn't think much of it since Kylo said that Fisher looked completely out of it.
But enough of that. I've been healing as good as someone who just got out of a coma can. Of course I've been pushing myself to get stronger so I can go after Julian's killers, but I can only move so quickly at the moment.
Kylo has been up my ass. Like when I say up my ass... I mean up my damn ass. He hasn't walked away from me the moment I woke up and even thought a part of me loves that so damn much, there's the other side of me that wants to slap the fuck out of him. I've been refraining from yelling at him, but... I want to know why he's acting like this. I want to know what his damn obsession is with making sure I'm okay.
Apparently he took care of me while I was in my coma... damn. My cheeks get red and my ears flame up at the thought of him taking care of me.
"Are you okay?" The physical therapist kicks me out of my own mind and I look at her with my hand over my chest. Shit she scared me.
"I didn't mean to scare you honey. I just noticed that you zoned out." She looked like she felt so damn bad and I sighed before telling her that she was okay. She smiled and we finished the session for today.
"I think you'll be able to get back onto your feet and be completely healed by the end of this month! You're doing wonderful!" She grinned widely and I smiled softly back.
"I'm glad. I want- no I need to get out of here." I laugh and she giggles along with me.
"Understandable honey. It's draining in this place." She sighed and I sighed along with her. She has a point.
"But enough of that. Let's get back to your room, hmm?" I nodded my head and she pushed the wheelchair to the elevator and down to the third floor.
The elevator ride was as silent as it usually was since recently I haven't really been in a talking mood. I've been so caught up in my thoughts and the plans of when I get out of here, that I haven't focused on the people around me and honestly I feel like shit. But I can control it. My brain is on a all time running marathon and I can't stand it.
It keeps me from sleeping and even though Kylo noticed it, he still hasn't said anything because he knows why I'm staying up. He knows what plagues my mind like the damn bubonic. I wish I could erase everything and start over, but I know if I do that then everything I am and everything I've built over the years wouldn't exist. I am who I am because of the pain and sorrow, all the suffering I went though made me... me.
And even though I may pray for it all to go away... it can not leave me. It's everything that embodies me and if I get rid of it then I am purely nothing but another useless soul on this planet. Everyone is here for a reason, I choose to believe that instead of believing that I am nothing and my choices and actions have zero meaning to the world. It's honestly the only thing keeping me going.
The elevator bell ringed and I was pulled out of my thoughts once again. Damn I need to get it together. The nurse, Gloria, pushed my wheelchair back to my room and helped me back onto the bed. I smiled at her after she asked me if I needed anything and I shook my head no. She smiled one last time before taking the wheelchair and walking out of the room.
I looked over at the bed next to my own and I could smell Kylo's scent coming off of it. They gave him that when I was in my coma and I'm glad they did. I noticed that French people are just overall nicer to their patients than American hospitals. Americans are just assholes not going to lie.
I smell the air and Kylo's scent flows through my nostrils and I smile. He has always smelt so good and I don't care what people say, but guys who smell good are automatically hot because that means they take care of themselves and who doesn't want that? I want someone who is clean and who knows basic hygiene. It's the bare minimum, but I mean shit. What else can I get in today's society?
Anyway enough of me talking. I think I'll take a nap for a bit while Kylo and Julia are gone.
I rolled over into my side and I looked at the bird sitting on the windowsill outside. I watch it for a while and my vision completely goes black and I fall into a deep sleep.
~*~
"Clara... princess... baby wake up." Kylo's breathe fanned my face and I groaned in protest.
"No." I grumbled and I flipped over to face away from him. I heard him chuckle behind me and then I felt a kiss being placed onto my neck. I jumped up immediately and I accidentally smashed the back of my head into Kylo's nose.
He groaned in pain very loudly and cursed.
"Oh my god! I'm so sorry!" I couldn't move that fast since I am still healing so I flipped over the best I could and as quick as I could to hold his nose.
He grimaced and I pouted. He smiled at my reaction and let's just say... I wanted to tear his nose of his face.
"What's so funny? I feel really bad. Are you okay? Do you think it's broken? Why did you wake me up you know I haven't been sleeping well?" I threw questions at him and he just chuckled softly before sitting down on my bed, while I'm still holding his nose.
"You're reaction is funny. I'm okay. I don't think it's broken. And I had to wake you up because it's the next day. You slept the rest of the day through the night and I couldn't let you sleep anymore." He grabbed my hand and pulled it away from his sore nose. My eyes widened at the fact that he just told me I nearly slept and entire day.
"H- wha- I-." I'm in pure shock and he didn't look to be all that shocked.
"Why aren't you shocked that I slept that long Kylo! Why didn't you wake me sooner!" I pushed his arm and he faked being in pain.
"You haven't been sleeping Clara. You and I both know that, so when I came back and I seen you sleeping... I left you alone. You deserve the rest. Your body needs it to heal faster." He had a very good explanation and I nodded my head.
"Thanks." I shyly looked away and he pulled my chin towards him. He seemed to be lost in probably one of the most serious thought processes I've ever seen him in, before he opened his mouth and what came out was something I never expected.
"Of course. Anything for the women I love."
Huh!?
~*~
Not a very long chapter, I'm sorry. And I know you hate me for the cliffhangers because I would hate me too, but I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I enjoyed writing it and seeing the thoughts inside Clara's head😊
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All my loves🫶🏽