⚠️ Warning ⚠️
Mature Content Ahead
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Author's POV:
Seokjin's eyes trail over your sleeping face, taking in all of his favorite things about you. He loves the shape of your nose, the roundness of your cheeks, the way your eyelids flutter when you're dreaming, and especially how your lips part slightly when you move a certain way.
He feels terrible for making you feel unwanted, because there's nothing farther from the truth than that. Everything about you is stunning to him, but he's been having a hard time accepting your love since starting his own therapy.
There were things he was avoiding, things he'd been pushing into his subconscious that are all coming up against his will now. Having to process the trauma of what his ex fiancé and older brother have done to him has been a lot more difficult than he thought it would be. It's made him feel insignificant and replaceable, and he's having trouble understanding how you could still love him after everything you've been through.
He's had to recount everything that's happened since the stabbing, which includes having to remember all the suffering you endured as well. Lately, when he looks into your eyes he sees that broken woman with a glass shard pressed up against her wrist. He sees that girl who didn't want to live.
Of course that's not who you are anymore, but the sadness and anger has been swallowing him whole. You never would've been suicidal if it weren't for his existence. Your love was actually starting to scare him a little bit. Ma-Ri and Sung-ho betrayed him when he didn't even do anything wrong. It doesn't make sense to his traumatized brain why you wouldn't do the same, after all the pain he's caused you.
A ray of sunlight peeks through the curtains, landing right into your eyes. He watches your brows pinch together, your body unconsciously rolling over to avoid the brightness. He's on his side facing you, and you roll right into him, your face resting on his shoulder and your hands against his bare chest.
This wakes you up just a little and his heart does a few backflips when your eyes start to flutter open. A small groan leaves your lips and you groggily look up at him, a lazy smile on your face when you see it's him.
Fuck, I'm so in love with her.
"Good morning baby," you mumble, scooting yourself closer to nuzzle your face between his neck and shoulder. Your breath fans over his skin, spreading goosebumps all across his chest, and your scent washes over him, sending a jolt to his lower half.
His lips part in awe because he really hasn't been able to get in the mood lately, but there's something about your morning voice and the way you're clinging to him that's stirring him up right now.
His eyes wander over your shoulder and down your side, a black sports bra the only thing covering your upper half. When you turned, your left leg came out of the covers and your shorts twisted up, leaving almost your whole backside exposed.
The places your skin meets his start to heat up, and he leans down to press his lips against your cheek, earning himself another sleepy groan from you. His body reacts again, his length hardening as he presses himself against you. His lips start to slowly trail across your jawline and down your neck, making you wake up a little more. The way your skin tastes against his lips sends a shiver down his spine, making him crave more of you.
"Bug," he murmurs, grazing your earlobe between his teeth. You let out a small moan, and he can tell you're really starting to wake up now.
Your hands slowly travel up from his chest to the back of his neck, pulling your body tighter against him. He leans more into you, rolling you onto your back but not allowing any distance between you two as his lips travel back down your neck and to your shoulder.
A rush of adrenaline pumps through him when your breathing starts getting heavier, and he pulls back to look in your eyes, almost stunned at the sight of you. Your eyelids are still droopy but not from sleepiness anymore, and your cheeks are flushed pink while you breathe heavily with your lips parted.
"What a nice good morning gift," you giggle, giving him one of those dazzling smiles that nearly sends him into cardiac arrest. You stretch your arms out above your head, letting out another small groan as the rest of your body wakes up. "What's for breakfast today?"
He's a bit confused as to why you're acting so nonchalant but then it dawns on him. You think he's done with you.
Not that he can blame you. He kissed you two nights ago, and the two of you made out for a good five minutes, but he could tell his dick wasn't going to listen to him. His heart rate was up, his skin had goosebumps, he was breathing heavily from your touch, but he knew he wouldn't get hard. He'd had a meeting with Eunji that morning and a lot of stuff was on his mind.
But right now he's feeling entirely different. He's already getting hard just looking at your face.
Ana's annoying as hell, but what she said did open his eyes a bit.
If you don't think [Y/N] is the sexiest bitch out there then someone else will.
Seokjin's well aware that you would never cheat on him. But he's also aware that there's a lot of guys out there that could make you really happy, and no way in hell is he not going to keep you satisfied knowing that information.
"This looks good," he smirks, leaning down to press his lips to yours. Your breath hitches as one hand anchors your hip, his tongue slipping between your lips.
"B-baby," you pant, trying to turn your head away. "I have m-morning breath."
"Nope," he says, moving his hand up to cradle the side of your face, crashing his lips against yours again. "You taste incredible."
You whimper into his mouth as he hungrily tastes you. Seokjin's whole body is on fire for you right now, butterflies are shooting through his stomach as if it's your first time again.
W-wait," you say breathlessly, so he moves his kisses to your jaw. "A-are you actually into this? I don't- fuck," you groan as he suckles your earlobe, "I don't want you to forc-"
He presses his throbbing length down into your thigh, making you gasp as he licks up your neck.
"I'm not forcing anything," he says huskily, making his first mark on your collarbone. "I want to be inside of you, earning myself some new scratch marks."
You moan as he moves in between your legs, pressing his cock down over your heat, only his boxers and your shorts separating your skin. His fingers slide into your sports bra from the bottom, pushing it up to take it off. You raise your shoulders a little so he can lift it up and over your head and arms.
Seokjin bites into his lip as your stiff peaks come into view, matched perfectly with the fresh hickey just above them. Your hair falls around your shoulders, wafting him with your scent again.
"You're so fucking beautiful," he breathes out, sitting back on his knees to get a good look at you.
You're still pretty caught off guard, looking up at him with wide and shiny eyes, flushed cheeks, and now swollen lips, driving him absolutely wild. "How the hell did I get so lucky?" he smirks, your face turning into his favorite shade of ladybug red. "I get to make love to this gorgeous creature whenever I want."
Even he's impressed with himself at his ability to worship you while also reminding you who your body belongs to. He knows you absolutely love it when he dominates you, but he makes sure to factor in your newly found praise kink as well.
Your eyes flicker down to his bulge and a confidence boost rushes through him at the way you almost salivate over it. You shamelessly gawk at his entire body, slowly trailing over each detail as your eyes darken with more lust.
His hands find your chest and you bite into your lip, trying to contain your voice as he begins to gently knead your breasts. A whimper slips out as his hot mouth finds your left nipple, his fingers massaging the other one at the same time. He loves the way you make noise for him, never afraid to let him know just how good he makes you feel.
Your hands grip the muscles on his back as his lips make their way back up your neck, wasting no time pressing his mouth to yours again. His hips meet yours again and you both groan as your tongues dance across each other's. Breathy whimpers leave your lips as he grinds into you, his cock getting a little desperate to be inside of you. To make you tremble and scream out his name from beneath him. To fuck you so slow and good you can't focus on anything other than him.
He's almost appalled at himself for not making love to you in three weeks. You deserve to be worshipped both verbally and physically, every single day. The urgency to make you feel good washes over him, and he's definitely about to make up for lost time.
He lifts back up on his knees, slipping his fingers into the hem of your shorts. You raise your hips, allowing him to pull them down past your thighs, completely removing them and tossing them to the floor.
"Fuck," he groans, shamelessly taking in the sight of your naked body. Getting to see you like this is a luxury he's been taking for granted. The fabric of his boxers stretch even thinner as he pictures himself buried inside your cunt, making tears fall down your face each time he thrusts inside of you.
But first he wants to taste you.
Scooting himself back, he gets onto his stomach and spreads your folds to get a good look at your heat. As usual, you're completely soaked, your needy hole aching and ready for him.
"D-don't stare," you say shakily, trying to move his hands. "It's embarra-"
"Why am I not allowed to look at what's mine?" he growls, making your breath hitch as his thumb strokes over your throbbing mound. Lust courses through him as he watches the way you tremble from his touch. He knows you like it slow at the beginning, so he coats his thumb in your juices before returning to your bud, moving in slow, sensual circles.
Your moans are like music to his ears and he can't help himself anymore. He presses his tongue to your clit and he can feel it pulsating with need against his mouth. Taking his time, he gently sucks on your mound, while also continuing to move his tongue in circles. Your back arches from the pleasure, giving him a confidence boost.
He thinks back on the first time he wanted to eat you out, and you almost looked disappointed. You eventually admitted to having a bad experience with oral in the past, but now it's one of your favorite things, and he's well aware of how good he can make you feel.
"Baby," you moan, sliding your fingers into his fluffy black hair. "Fuck, your mouth is amazing."
Your breath hitches as he licks a long strip up your core, the taste of your pussy driving him wild. There's a lot of guys out there who don't enjoy eating their partners out but Seokjin finds that absolutely mad. Sure, wetness doesn't taste good on a regular day but it tastes amazing when you're in the mood for it. He also understands human anatomy. Girls aren't supposed to smell and taste like flowers down there. But you're pretty hygienic and take care of yourself, so he loves it when he can please you directly like this.
He knows a sexual position like this is very vulnerable for women. You're opening yourself up in every sense of the word, letting him view you from a conventionally unattractive angle. But there's not a more dazzling angle for Seokjin to see you from than this one.
Your pussy is throbbing and aching with desire for him, your legs are trembling from how good he's making you feel, your chest is quickly rising and falling as you become more and more breathless, and your nipples are stiff and in full view. He's aware how insane the beauty standards are for women, especially in South Korea, so he knows it's not always easy to be comfortable in your own body. Every inch of you is so incredible and beautiful to him, even with your imperfections.
He continues making out with your heat, inserting his middle and pointer fingers inside of you. "Fuck, oh my god," you moan, and he loves the noises you make once he starts stroking your sweet spot. He can feel the pressure against his digits as he scissors them, beginning to stretch you out.
Another thing he loves about your body is how obediently it adjusts to him. It listens to him way more than you do, which is another turn-on in itself. You could be furious with him, telling him you don't want anything to do with him but your body will betray you every single time. Your body craves him, just as much as his craves you. His dick is currently throbbing underneath him, wanting nothing more than to be buried inside of you to the hilt.
But your pleasure and safety comes first.
He spends a few minutes lapping against your clit and pumping his fingers in and out of you, thoroughly enjoying the moans that are filling his bedroom. Your legs are starting to shake and he knows you're close.
He has to work a little harder for it but he loves it when he gets you to cum more than once, so he decides to pick up his pace.
"B-baby," you whimper, tightening your grip in his hair. "I don't w-wanna cum yet."
"This isn't about what you want," he says angrily, pulling back just long enough to speak before swallowing your mound again. "You're going to cum from my mouth and then you're going to cum from my cock. Now do as I say."
Pretty ironic, since this is entirely about what you want, but he's not going to let you know that.
Just like he knew it would, your body obediently listens to his commands. The room fills with a mixture of moans, expletives, and his government name as you come undone. Your orgasm is long, and he loves the way your clit twitches and pulsates against his tongue, your walls clenching around his fingers so tightly he almost can't move them.
Your legs shake as he fingers you through your high, and he can tell when you're done based off your body going limp and your hand relaxing its grip. With a satisfied smirk, he rises to his knees to get another good look at you.
There's stars in your fucked out eyes as you gasp for air, your chest rising and falling as you try to catch your breath. You're practically glowing right now, and there's not a more fulfilling moment than when he watches you try to collect yourself after an orgasm.
He stares into your eyes as he licks the two fingers that were just pumping in and out of you before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "Thanks for breakfast," he grins cockily, sliding his tongue over his swollen bottom lip.
"I'm so in love with you," you exhale, making his brows raise. He's full of so much adrenaline and lust he's not even sure how you're getting butterflies to shoot through his stomach.
He hovers over you, trailing his eyes over your beautiful face, brushing your hair off your sweaty forehead. "I love you too, Bug," he says, looking straight into your eyes. His face is only a few inches from yours now as he holds his weight up against the mattress on either side of your head. "I'm sorry for ever making you feel unwanted. I crave you to the point of pain, but lately I've been having a hard time understanding why you still love me after everything that's happened."
Your eyes search his and he can tell you're trying to figure out what's going on in his head. "Do you still blame yourself?" you ask him, and he bites into his cheek, trying to think of the right words.
"No," he answers honestly, and he watches your eyes soften just a little bit. "It's not that I blame myself. I blame Ma-Ri and Sung-ho for the reason you were hurt." His eyes shift down to your lips and he knows you're not a mind reader. He knows he needs to tell you what's going through his head. "I just don't understand why you haven't left me yet anyways. Sure it's not my fault directly, but there are other men out there that could make you happy too. Without all the scandals and publicity and court dates. It would be a lot easier on you if you chose someone else."
"Do you think I would leave you?" you ask, but there's no anger or irritation in your voice. It sounds like you genuinely want to understand him.
"No, I don't," he answers confidently, meeting your eyes. He lowers his body down onto yours and you wince at the overstimulation of his clothed member meeting your heat. He rests there without moving until you relax. "I don't think you'll ever leave me, which is why I don't understand. I don't mean to beat a dead horse, but someone like Ji-Ho would have made you so much happier. Or maybe someone new. Someone who didn't have so much baggage."
"Is it not the same for you though?" you smile softly, pressing your hands to his shoulders. "You could be with someone else too. Someone who doesn't make you remember sad things. Someone who isn't a constant reminder of your near death experience. Someone you don't have to put so much effort into. Why haven't you left?"
He blinks at you for a few seconds, processing your words. "I... I don't really know," he says, looking back down at your lips. "I guess I can't really say I have a logical reason to explain it." His thumb slowly drags over your bottom lip as he looks back up into your eyes. "I just know you're the one I want."
He feels your body stiffen a little underneath him, your cheeks turning that adorable rosy color again. "Sure there's other women out there I could be compatible with," he continues, "but they're not you. There's no one else I want to wake up next to. No one else I want to watch movies with. No one else I want to take pictures with, or eat dinner with, or have sex with. It's just you."
His chest swells as tears brim in your eyes, and your hands move up to cup his cheeks. "You just put it into words when I didn't know how," you smile, one tear falling down the side of your face. "You're my person. I don't want to give up on this, because even though some days are hard, there's only one you." A tear escapes his eye as well, landing straight down onto your cheek. "Even with the scandals, the media, the trials, and the fights, my heart belongs to you. You said you'd catch me, and you did. So I'm going to love you until my last breath, no matter what the universe wants to throw at me. I choose to be with you, and that's no one else's decision but mine."
His lips delicately press to yours, more tears spilling from his eyes as they flutter closed. The air between you two gets thick as his tongue slides between your lips, tasting you all over again. Your arms wrap around his neck, pulling him tighter against you as the kiss gets greedier. He gently grinds into you, testing to see where you're at physically. Another rush of adrenaline races through him when you spread your legs wider, clearly asking for a little more friction.
You both groan as he slowly begins to stimulate your lower half again, but he knows you're already craving him, and he doesn't want to waste anymore time. He wants to make love to you so badly he almost can't see straight.
He steps off the bed to push his boxers down past his hips, dropping them to the floor. He's about to head for the nightstand but stops in his tracks when he sees a pleading look in your eyes.
There's a moment of understanding between you two without words ever having to be exchanged, and he's happy to give you what you want, because he wants it too.
Skipping the condom, he crawls back onto the bed between your legs, watching your eyes sparkle as he positions his bare tip against your entrance. His hands find your knees and his eyes bore into yours as he pushes that first inch inside.
It's only the tip of his cock but he already feels you clenching around his soft head, making him shiver from excitement. He almost crawls out of his own skin as he watches the face you make when you take him another inch, a loud moan leaving your lips.
"Fuck, Bug," he groans, reaching down to circle your clit with his thumb. "I've wanted to fuck you raw so badly."
"M-me too," you moan, taking him another inch. He can tell you feel the vein in his cock brushing up against your walls, and he has to control himself when your eyes roll into the back of your head. He'd give anything to just slam himself all the way inside right now, but he'd never hurt you like that.
Once he's about halfway in, he leans over you to hungrily capture your lips, giving you time to relax. It's been a few weeks so you're a little tighter than normal. He greedily tastes every corner of your mouth before pulling back to give your neck some attention, leaving you another bright red hickey to contrast perfectly with your skin.
"I love you," he moans as he pushes another inch inside, loving the way your body shudders underneath him. "Fuck, you feel incredible. I wish you could see yourself right now."
Along with more moans filling the bedroom, your nails are digging into his shoulders, your eyes pinching closed as he pushes himself the rest of the way inside. He's still for a few seconds, leaving more markings across your chest as you adjust to his length.
There's no barrier between you two this time, and he can feel each small twitch inside of you, making him let out a small moan as you start to relax.
"You always take me so well, Bug," he whispers huskily into your ear, knowing damn well that sentence makes you melt. "Fuck, I can't believe I get to make love to you like this."
He pulls himself out a few inches just to slide right back in, grazing your earlobe between his teeth. "Oh my god," he moans right into your ear, making your whole body tremble. He's going to let you know right now just how ridiculous it is that you thought he wasn't attracted to you. "This body of yours, Bug," he says almost as a whine, trailing wet kisses down your neck as he slowly pumps in and out of you. "It's such a good listener. Always ready and willing to please me just like it was designed to."
"Fuck, Seokjin," you moan, snapping your head back as he starts to roll his hips, brushing his abdomen over your clit. "Y-yes, always ready to p-please you. It's all yours."
"That's my good girl," he smirks, keeping his pace nice and slow. It's killing him not to just ruin you right here and now. The thought of you being tied up and crying again excites him to no end, but right now he wants to please you emotionally too.
He leans up slightly, giving him enough room to wrap his hand around your throat. Your walls tighten around his cock at the same rate his hand tightens around your neck. "There we go, beautiful," he says breathlessly, picking up his pace just slightly. Your hands wrap around his forearm as he starts cutting off your airway just a little bit. His eyes bore into yours as he watches you bite into your lip, trying to contain yourself but he knows there's no use in that.
Your eyes roll up into your head again as he starts thrusting in a little harder, moans forcing their way out of your mouth even with his tight grip on your neck. "Such a good little whore," he grunts, watching your breasts bounce up and down as he pumps in and out of you. "Dammit, you deserve this. Only good girls earn the right to be fucked like this."
"B-baby," you choke out, your grip tightening around his arm. He's paying close attention to your hands, because three taps is still your signal, but he knows you won't do it. He knows you're loving this right now, and he can tell because of the way your legs are trembling. He knows you want to cum, and he does too.
He releases your throat and he moves back down to crash his lips against yours again. His hands slide up your forearms, lacing his fingers with yours next to your head. "Fuck, Seokjin!" you cry out, bucking your hips with his. You're overwhelmed and tears spill from your eyes, only making him want to thrust into you deeper, so he does.
You're seeing stars on another planet as he plunges into you, letting out screams of pleasure as he gets you close to your release. "I love you," he growls into your ear, squeezing your hands tightly, getting close himself. "Don't ever think you're unattractive again. I'm about to cum inside the most beautiful woman on this planet."
"B-baby, please," you moan, arching your back as that knot starts to snap. "Y-yes, f-fuck, cum inside m-me!"
As soon as those words leave your mouth you're screaming out his name, your orgasm hitting you so hard you convulse. He lets go of your hands and they immediately find his back, clawing at his skin while he continues to fuck you senseless.
This orgasm is just as long as the first one, your eyes rolling back again as you come undone around him, your walls squeezing his length as you twitch from the pleasure.
Seokjin closes his eyes, thrusting himself in and out of you as your body falls limp. He wants to savor this feeling of cumming inside you raw. There's still risks obviously but they're very low. Plus, he really wouldn't mind you getting pregnant. Of course he would like it to be whenever you're ready, but he has every intention of starting a family with you one day. The thought of him being the father of your future child excites him beyond belief.
But for now he'll rely on your trusty IUD to keep that from happening just yet.
He steers clear of your clit to not overstimulate you, but he finally hits his peak when he opens his eyes back up.
"I love you, baby," you say breathlessly.
The look in your eyes makes him cum immediately, and he stays staring into your soul as he releases himself inside of you. You're looking at him as if you're thinking the exact same thing he was, but most of all you're looking at him like you trust him. Like there's nothing he could ever do to hurt you.
His orgasm lasts quite a while too, the feeling of his semen coating your cervix practically making him come undone a second time. His dick twitches inside of you as he finishes, his body crashing down onto yours from exhaustion.
With the little strength he has left, he keeps most of his weight on his forearms on either side of your head. You're both panting, trying to catch your breath as the two of you come down from your highs.
You nuzzle your lips against his ear, somehow shooting another round of butterflies through his stomach. "I love you," you say softly, spreading goosebumps down his sweaty neck.
He finds the energy to push himself up and off of you, gently easing his softening length out from between your legs.
"I love you too," he exhales, wiping the sweat from his forehead. "My god, I don't know how I'm supposed to go back to condoms after that."
"I'm sure we can figure it out," you giggle, wincing as you sit up. He's never experienced it himself but he can imagine it's not a good feeling between your legs right now. "But for now I'll need help getting to the shower. I don't know if I can even walk."
"Don't worry, Bug," he smirks, taking your hand in his. "I know just the guy who can help."
He ends up lifting you like a princess, carrying you all the way to the bathroom. As usual, he helps you wash up and he's feeling like an entirely new person by the end of it.
He finally feels like he can breathe again. He finally knows he's going to be okay.
And you're going to be there every step of the way.
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A/N: Chappy 105 ~
Not this being my longest chapter yet lmao
BRB I need to pray my sins away