Sunbright was frozen, her jovial smile flat and emotionless. Her breaths came in rasping gasps and the way she stared at us made us feel like mouse-brained fools. Her mouth opened and closed, and she was in a state of shock.
"Lovegrass has been seeing a kittypet," Sunbright explained softly. Her eyes flickered from Goldenwind to me and back again. "I thought everyone knew. Spiky is a kittypet, a feisty one too. Lovegrass.... I think she likes him. And she went out to see him last night. She came back sick. The cold air, probably."
I just stared. Lovegrass. After telling me how she despised kittypets ... she was seeing one herself? Just ... just like Littlecloud. A traitor. Lovegrass was a traitor to SeasonClan, and I'd never known it until now.
Suddenly, I heard soft movement in the brambles behind us. My ears perked immediately. I could hear the newcomer, but I couldn't tell who it was.
"Someone's there!" I warned in a low hiss. I edged towards the brambles and pried them apart.
Peacewind. My mother. Of all the times! Why couldn't she leave me alone?
After everything she'd done, as if that wasn't enough, Peacewind was also eavesdropping on my life? "What are you doing?" I hissed angrily. Peacewind had abandoned me my whole life. I didn't need her now, no matter what she had to say. Even if she was expecting more kits. Bleh. I didn't need siblings. I was fine alone.
"I wanted to apologize..." Peacewind meowed quietly. She sounded nervous and her eyes were anywhere but on me.
Those words. I wanted to hear those words for the first six moons of my life, I wanted to hear that my mother loved me.
But not anymore.
I. Didn't. Care. About. Her. Anymore. I didn't want her anymore. I realized she'd left me way too long of my life. I didn't need her, I didn't want her. So, no matter how sorry she finally was, she was too late to be my mother. Way, way too late. She should've told me this when I was a kit, when I was way more forgiving.
"Apology refused." I brushed her off. "Goldenwind, are we training?"
Goldenwind sprung to her feet. "Of course!"
I ran off with Goldenwind to the training hollow, trying to ignore the pained eyes of Peacewind burning into my back. Peacewind had ignored me my entire life, and I most definitely had no use for her anymore. I'd grown used to life without a mother. Life with an absent mother. Besides, Iceflame had probably asked her to apologize. It was nothing about her own initiative being taken. I was bitter, and I wanted nothing to do with her.
I mastered extremely hard techniques with Goldenwind that afternoon, like the back kick. There was also an odd one I hadn't mastered yet: Swiping up with the front paw, following with a back kick to the cat behind me, and then spinning around, finishing off the back person and re-attacking the first, who had been winded by my first attack. Goldenwind said I would need at least two training partners to practice that move properly, but that I could try practicing on my own first. I really wished Goldenwind was my mentor and not Lovegrass, all Lovegrass ever taught me was to do with the front paws. She said I wasn't ready for anything else.
"Seeya, Goldenwind!" I called happily at sunset.
Goldenwind smiled wryly. "We're not saying bye yet! You have to hunt your meal."
I gawked. "It's winter!" I protested. "I could be out for ages!" Goldenwind was just like Lovegrass!
Goldenwind shrugged. "Catch a piece of prey and go back. You'll share that with Mistpaw, no matter the size. Good luck for you if it's big, bad luck if it's small."
Sighing, I carefully stalked anything that came to me. I had luck. I spotted three mice in a burrow. It apparently was a dead end in that burrow and I managed to catch all three of them. They were scrawny, admittedly, but one would be enough for me. Not for Mistpaw, though. I just sighed. Mistpaw hadn't caught anything and that wasn't my problem. What you catch, you get to eat, Lovegrass always said. For once, I would use her teaching to my advantage.
I craved all three mice. It would make me full. But I knew the queens needed it more. I brought the three mice back to camp and sighed. I gave them all to the queens, knowing they would really need it.
"You didn't catch anything?" Goldenwind meowed, sounding shocked. I was known for being the best hunter out of the apprentices, so this must've come as a shock.
"Three mice," I meowed. "I gave them all to the queens." I lifted my head high, proud of my act.
Goldenwind frowned. "Then you and Mistpaw won't get anything."
"It's alright." I closed my eyes and turned back to the apprentices' den.
"Eat this." She nudged me a scrawny rabbit. "Share it with Mistpaw?"
"I'll share it with Wheatpelt," I meowed, grabbing the rabbit and going to the nursery.
Wheatpelt had already demolished one of the mice, but I knew it wasn't enough. I plopped down the rabbit beside her. I paused for a moment, before taking a bite and pushing it to her.
"Want some?" I offered.
Wheatpelt narrowed her eyes. "Have you eaten?" Her eyes were narrowed, but she sounded concerned, almost in a motherly way.
"I'll eat after you," I meowed, shoving the rabbit to her.
Wheatpelt took a few small bites of the rabbit and pushed it to me. "I'm full," she meowed. I knew she was probably lying, but I was starving, so ...
The scrawny rabbit was gone in a few mouthfuls, and I didn't feel full. Wheatpelt heard my stomach rumble, ignoring her own, and looked back at me.
"You should've eaten the whole thing," she murmured softly.
"I can't," I meowed. "You don't have anyone to look after you, or bring you prey. If the apprentices don't do it, how will you survive?"
There was a small, faint smile on Wheatpelt's face. Then she sighed. "I hope Eagletail will come back when his kits are born..." She stared at her extremely rounded belly with a cloudy expression. She was probably due to kit any day now, but showed no signs of excitement.
"I'm sure they'll ... um ... look cute," I meowed, unsure of what to say. It was not like I ever wanted to become a mother myself. We also had too many queens. Appledawn, Starrynight, Wheatpelt, Shadowheart and Ashenface.
I didn't know where Eagletail had apparently become a kittypet, but I knew the area the dawn patrol patrolled. So, I went there and saw the strip of Twoleg nests. They were so big, and they looked warm. I could tell why they would be enticing during leaf-bare, but still. It was so wrong of Eagletail to do that! He should've brought Wheatpelt if he was set on it.
I saw him. I saw Eagletail. Sitting ... proudly on the fence. I wanted to scream at him, tell him he'd abandoned his mate in a time of need. While the Clan went hungry, he was filling himself up with kittypet slop. Kittypet slop, instead of catching real food for his Clan and making sure no cat went hungry.
"Eagletail!" I yowled loudly.
He turned. His eyes narrowed when he saw me. "Stormpaw," he stated flatly.
"Yes," I said. "I've come to ask why you left."
Eagletail shrugged. "It's a long story." He didn't look like he wanted to tell me.
"I want to hear it," I snarled threateningly. I saw Eagletail's plump belly – how was he already plump? Had he been accepting food from Twolegs for a long time? Also – plump during winter??
Eagletail sighed. "Well, um ... my parents, Ashdust and Silkpelt, approved of Wheatpelt, who is Flametail and Stargleam's daughter – but I think you know her. So, um, I mated with Wheatpelt because she was kinda admirable. But then, you know, I walked across this very fence and the Twoleg offered me food. I thought it would be revolting, but I tried some and it tasted really good, and I was hungry, it is winter you know – so I came back for more. Eventually, after a day or two of coming every meal, I met the cat who lived there. Her name is Kyla. I, um, I fell in love with Kyla. So ... when she found out she was already expecting, and almost ready to give birth – I have no idea how Kyla didn't notice for so long – she fled to SeasonClan territory, thinking she had no choice. She wanted to be with me.
"I saw her, that day, while on the dawn patrol. I told Kyla to hide, and she did. Then I told the other members that I was going to become a kittypet. I came here. The moment we got back, Kyla kitted and the Twolegs were out."
Deep sadness crossed Eagletail's face, and I knew what had happened.
"They died?" I guessed, trying my best so sound sympathetic.
Eagletail nodded, solemness in his tone as he answered, "I wanted to get a medicine cat, but Kyla didn't want me to leave her. So ... we lost our kits. Minty and Kiki. I couldn't leave Kyla after that, she was devastated. She wants more kits, and I want them too. I'm sorry if Wheatpelt's sad, but really, I never loved her."
"You promised to stay with her," I whispered hoarsely. Wheatpelt had been so convinced that Eagletail loved her! This would come as a shock. A very big shock, and Wheatpelt would never be the same again.
Eagletail sighed. I did see regret shining in his eyes. "I did," he murmured softly, regretfully, bashfully. "I ... I'm sorry. But I love Kyla."
I nodded in acceptance, sadly. If it was true that Ashdust and Silkpelt had forced him to mate with Wheatpelt, then really, I couldn't blame him for falling for Kyla. It was only natural that he might love another cat. I sighed and walked home. Wheatpelt was not going to like my story. At. All. I also hoped I wouldn't get in trouble for going out without permission. For some reason, I was selfishly hoping that Lovegrass still had greencough.
I reached camp and saw the clearing in the middle of camp crowded. That only happened on one occasion.
Either there was a ceremony, or there was a death.
And since Lightmist's kits weren't near becoming apprentices ...
I wondered who died, Minnowpelt or Lovegrass. I really didn't care. I stared through the crowd – I wasn't sure how I could do that, but I did – and saw Lovegrass' limp body. Standing around her were Stonestar, Iceflame, Peacewind, Patienceheart and Joyspirit. I knew I should be there. After all, Lovegrass was my mentor. But I had no bond with her. I hated Lovegrass.
"Starrynight's kitting early!"
I heard that yowl. I wasn't very surprised. Starrynight might not have been expecting for three moons yet, but she was bigger than Wheatpelt.
Dawnstream and Emupaw instantly went to the nursery. I saw them shoo Wheatpelt out. Then, Wheatpelt looked at me, eyes narrowed questioningly.
Oh. Did she know where I'd gone? I'd dropped heavy hints last night, but I'd thought she wouldn't notice. Well, maybe she had. I watched as Wheatpelt made her way slowly towards me, then realized she was heavily expecting and shouldn't be walking at all. I ran over.
"Yes?" I asked Wheatpelt.
"Why aren't you with them?" Wheatpelt asked softly.
I stared at her in confusion. "With who?"
"They're mourning Lovegrass," Wheatpelt meowed softly. "Why aren't you there? She was your mentor."
"I didn't like her," I admitted. Wheatpelt nodded. She knew that translated to 'I hated her!'.
"What did you do when you left camp?" she then asked curiously.
"You were awake?" I mumbled. I hadn't thought Wheatpelt would wake up at dawn!
Wheatpelt nodded, her eyes narrowing suspiciously.
"Um..." I sighed. This was going to be tough. I knew it would be, and my original plan had been to bring Eagletail back to explain to Wheatpelt, but ... nothing had gone according to plan. I'd thought Eagletail preferred kittypet life to Wheatpelt, but really, the truth was way different. "I went to see Eagletail."
"Did he say anything about me?" Wheatpelt asked excitedly, suddenly all bouncy and energetic at the prospect of her mate.
My gaze dropped, and Wheatpelt's eyes softened.
"I mean, if he didn't, that's okay," she murmured, almost forlornly.
"He did," I clarified. "But you're not going to like it."
Wheatpelt's eyes narrowed to slits. "Tell me." There was a ferocity to her voice that I hadn't heard before, and she sounded way angry. I had known this was going to happen, and telling her was going to be hard.
"He fell in love with another cat," I meowed. "I'm sorry, Wheatpelt. But he never loved you. He only mated with you because Ashdust and Silkpelt liked Flametail and Stargleam. Or they approved of you. And ... um ... he found out this kittypet he'd been seeing – Kyla – was heavily expecting. That day he found out, he went to stay with her. Their kits all died, so he's definitely staying there permanently. With her."
Wheatpelt's eyes clouded. She was definitely bottling up with anger but didn't want to say so or bother me. I was grateful for that – Wheatpelt was normally quite gentle, I didn't want her anger on me. Finally, she turned away.
"Thanks for telling me," she meowed softly, her anguished voice showing she was anything but grateful.
"It's ... Wheatpelt, I'll help you raise your kits!" I blurted. "I know I'm still an apprentice, but I'll come and help..."
"Thank you, Stormpaw," Wheatpelt meowed warmly. "Should we see if Starrynight's kitted?"
I didn't like the pointed change in subject, and she was acting suspiciously. But, thinking of the cute newborns, I couldn't help but nod.
ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ʜᴀꜱ ʙᴇᴇɴ ᴇᴅɪᴛᴇᴅ ᴏɴ ᴍᴏɴᴅᴀʏ, 4ᴛʜ ꜱᴇᴘᴛᴇᴍʙᴇʀ