"So that's that then." she sat, looking at the consultant with a creeping numbness in her body. She couldn't cry, she couldn't do anything. She just looked at him. He'd seen that look before many times, it wouldn't last.
"I'm sorry Sandy, I wish I could be more positive. It simply didn't do as much as we'd hoped. It shrunk it, but it didn't kill it. We bought ourselves some time, so that's something, but as it stands there's really nothing more I can do." he came and sat on the edge of the desk, "don't ask me how long. I honestly can't tell you. Will you promise me one thing?" he looked at her and she nodded, silently white-faced.
"If I can."
"Don't give up. Don't give in. This is not over. We will keep monitoring you. Every month. As soon as something changes, from either perspective, we'll re-assess. Ok?" he smiled, trying to be encouraging. "This could take years you know, and I mean that in a positive way. You still have a lot of presents to buy - and get I may add!" now he laughed and so did she.
"Thanks Mr Armstrong, thanks for everything. I don't intend to give up. I just need a little time to adjust. Oh, and keep an eye on the post. You'll be getting an invitation - a very select invitation - soon." she winked and he threw professionalism out of the window. He hugged her tightly, genuinely happy for her - for both of them.
"Congratulations, you're doing the right thing. Do everything, see everything, enjoy everything. Life is for living Sandy." he walked her to the door. "Tell Tom he's got my number if he needs to speak at any point ok?"
She nodded and walked out, feeling a mix of sadness and hope. Sadness at the outcome of their talk, but hope. There would always be hope.
Luke was outside, waiting. She didn't think it was fair to burden him, she'd told him it was just a final check up, nothing to worry about.
She'd told Tom the same thing the previous evening via a facetime call and he had, to say the least been angry. "You promised me sweetheart, you promised to let me look after you. Hiding things is NOT letting me look after you." he sat down with a thump and rubbed his eyes.
"Sorry, I don't mean to get angry. I just ..." he stopped and looked at her, eyes full of worry. She smiled and nodded.
"It's ok, I understand, it's just I forgot to mention it, that's how important it is in the grand scheme of things!" she crossed her fingers as she sat on her hand. "Luke will take me and bring me home. No drama, ok?"
"Ok" he conceded and smiled "you're looking beautiful today by the way. That colour really suits you." she smiled at him and shook her head.
"You say that every night you big cheeseball!" she laughed "but keep it up, I love it!"
"And I love you Sandy." he looked at her intently "I always will." then he seemed to snap out of his reverie and stood up, showing her the night sky outside "Well, bedtime love, better hit the hay. You should too, don't want you falling asleep in the car with Luke. Who knows where you'll end up. You know how bad his navigation can be!"
For a minute they both laughed then she nodded "Sleep tight, speak to you tomorrow. Love you"
"You more. See you tomorrow."
She put the phone on the coffee table and sat back with a sigh. She hated lying to him, she hated the lie, she hated herself and she hated that she couldn't do anything about it. Still, she told herself as she stood to take Bobby out for a quick walk, it was all in a good cause. Once she knew what she was dealing with, then she could start to formulate a plan. The first thing on that plan? Marry Tom. No delays, nothing fancy, just him and her. Fancy weddings could wait. If there was a forever, then that's where fancy weddings lay.
As she closed the door behind her, stepping into the evening with Bobby, she looked down at the little furry face grinning back up at her. One day she'd hoped to have children, the way things were now? She was just lucky she even had a dog. Yes, be thankful for small mercies she thought. It was time to take a stand.