TW: Sadness and guilt.
[Brother - Kodaline]
1:40 ─〇───── 2:13
⇄ ◃◃ ⅠⅠ ▹▹ ↻
Beverly's POV
The day is beautiful, but the atmosphere is tense. We don't know if this is going to work for sure. I trust Bruce and his equipment, but some habits are hard to break, so seeing the technology makes me feel nervous. All because I can't trust what to goal is, and I hate that. I'm still having to fight against my instincts to run away from it, all because of HYDRA. Despite the growing fear in the pit of my stomach, Bucky and I follow Sam and Steve through the trees. Bruce, at the front of the group, begins preparing his equipment for the mission.
Sam, Bucky and I stop beside Bruce, watching Steve grab the briefcase beside the technology, and take a deep breath. This must be a lot of pressure for him, because today, he is returning all the stones. But, before he steps onto the time machine, Steve walks over to us three. He looks at Sam, who is closest to him. They shrug at each other, seeming awkward to pull each other into a hug. When they do, I roll my eyes slightly. They are so worried about their masculinity that they are nervous to hug each other.
"Now, remember," Bruce begins. "You have to return the stones to the exact moment you got them or you're going to open up a bunch of nasty alternative realities."
"Don't worry, Bruce," Steve pulls from the hug.
"You know, if you want, I could come with you," Sam suggests.
"You're a good man, Sam." Steve smiles. "This one's on me, though."
Steve leaves Sam's side, looking over at Bucky and me. My nerves build up even faster now that he is looking into my eyes. For the first time in a long time, Steve's expression is unreadable. He is always been an open book, and I know him like the back of my hand, but right now, he is stationary. And that thought alone, makes me want to throw up violently. Steve always has the worst ideas.
He pulls me into a hug, and I instantly wrap my arms around his neck, having to stand on the tips of my toes to place my nose in the crease of his neck. he sighs deeply into the hug, and kisses the temple of my head. When Steve and I hug, it is never this close-knit. A part of me feels the need to savour this hug, and I don't know why. A small voice in the back of my head is screaming at me to listen to the bad feeling that is rising in my stomach, but I push it down.
"Stay safe, please," I beg.
"I always am." He smiles.
We let go of each other, and he sidesteps over to Bucky. I let go of Bucky's hand, and he places it on his side, unsure of what to do with himself. He looks just as nervous as I am feeling right now. They stare at each other before one of them builds up the courage to speak. They've always been closer than Steve and I. Both of them being boys, they could always go to each other with certain problems that they couldn't talk to me about. And I respect that, so I walk over to Sam, giving them their time together.
"Don't do anything stupid until I get back." Steve beams.
"How can I?" Bucky laughs at the line. "You're taking all the stupid with you."
They both frown at their words, pulling each other into a hug. They haven't said those words since the 40s and it must hurt to know that. They were both stripped of that ability by one being a martyr and the other being forced into a life of crime. When they pull from the hug, they are smiling, but they both don't reach their eyes. The worry and sadness is dawning on both of them.
Steve walks over to the platform, but before he steps onto it, he pulls something out of his pocket. He hands Sam an envelope, and Sam looks up at him confused. He doesn't say anything, instead nodding his head at Sam, and leans the envelope in front of him, reading the neat handwriting on the front.
𝒮𝒶𝓂,
𝒫𝓁𝑒𝒶𝓈𝑒 𝓇𝑒𝒶𝒹 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒾𝓃𝓈𝓉𝓇𝓊𝒸𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃𝓈 𝒾𝓃𝓈𝒾𝒹𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝑒𝓃𝓋𝑒𝓁𝑜𝓅𝑒, 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓅𝓇𝑜𝓂𝒾𝓈𝑒 𝓂𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝒻𝑜𝓁𝓁𝑜𝓌 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓂. 𝒯𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝓂𝑒𝒶𝓃𝓈 𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓇𝓎𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓉𝑜 𝓂𝑒.
𝒮𝓉𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓃.
Sam places the envelope in his back pocket, still clearly confused about it. All I can think about is why Steve did it. Why give Sam an envelope if he is coming back? Why can't he keep it and deliver it himself? Instantly, my worries build up again. But, before I can comment on it, Steve stands on the platform, holding the briefcase, and his chest puffed out proudly.
"How long is this going to take?" Sam asks.
"For him," Bruce answers. "As long as he needs. For us, five seconds." Bruce turns to face Steve, who is holding Thor's hammer and the briefcase. "Ready Captain?"
Steve nods his head.
"All right, we'll meet you back here, okay?" Bruce presses a few buttons.
"You bet." Steve stares forward.
"Going on quantum, three, two, one."
The machine lights up and Steve goes with it. There is no trace of him, but I keep staring at the machine, waiting for him to re-appear. These five seconds are the longest seconds of my life, and I'm almost 100. I pick at the corners of my fingernails, accidentally pulling at a stray skin on the side. I groan but leave it there. Bad habits.
"And returning in five, four, three, two one." Bruce clicks a few more buttons.
But, nothing happens. Bruce looks confused, Sam looks worried, and Bucky and I look terrified. Bruce starts frantically pressing buttons and pulling levers, but they all end up being useless. Sam walks closer to him, looking over his shoulder. The action clearly puts Bruce under pressure, but he ignores it and keeps trying to bring back Steve.
"Where is he?" Sam asks.
"I don't know, he blew right by his time stamp. He should be here." Bruce stresses.
Bucky, who stands beside me, begins to walk to the side, his head bowed. I look over at his head, my eyebrows scrunched together. This doesn't seem to be affecting him all that much. Almost like he predicted it. I can't exactly be mad at him, a small part of me thought of this possibility. And that's because I'm an overthinker.
"Well, get him back." Sam pushes.
"I'm trying." Bruce snaps.
"Get him the hell back."
"Sam," Bucky ends their argument.
Sam, Bruce, and I look over at Bucky, seeing him peeking across the lake. Sam and I walk over to him, standing on his side. Sitting on a bench, gazing at the sunrise, is an old man. His hair is blonde with a few start grey hairs, and the exposed skin is wrinkled yet smooth looking. I look over at Bucky's face, seeing a sad smile on his face.
I'm the first one to take a step, and they both hesitantly follow behind me. When I make it to the bench, my throat goes dry. Any and all words get stuck in my throat, and I choke on them. Tears brim in the corners of my eyes, and I don't dare bite them back. Sitting on the bench, a content smile on his face is Steve. But, he looks like all his years have caught up to him, and he ages 50 years.
I step back from the bench, crying into my hands. Bucky pulls me into a hug, kissing the crown of my head. I sob into his jacket, holding onto it for dear life. Sam walks closer to Steve, looking down at him with curiosity.
"Why did you do it?" Sam asks him.
"I finally got the life I wanted. I got a life with Peggy." I can hear the smile on Steve's face.
My tears halt at his words, guilt rising up my throat like bile. I let go of Bucky, allowing him to walk over to Steve, and talk if he wants to. I just don't know if I can talk to him. So, I let Bucky do it first. He has always been emotionally stronger than me. From how far away I am standing, hugging myself, I can't hear them speaking. I can only see their mouths moving at smiles on their faces when they hug again.
When they are done, Bucky stands up from the bench, walking back over to me. He kisses my cheek before walking back over to Bruce, where he joins Sam, who is helping to pack up the time machine. I stand there for what feels like hours, just staring at Steve. He doesn't turn around or expect me to walk over to him, instead looking at the lake. Eventually, I hesitantly walk over, quietly sitting beside him on the bench. I can't look at him, or I know I will cry and be unable to stop myself. No one says anything for a while, but eventually, Steve reaches over and grabs my hand. The movement makes me finally look over at him with a sad smile on my face. The sight of his aged face makes me cry harder, my chest hurting.
"Did you get everything you wanted?" I ask through tears.
"I did." He smiles. "It was almost perfect."
Despite every part of me screaming to not do this, I pull him into a hug, tightening my hold on him. I am weary about how strong my hold is, but I can't help it. I don't want to let go, scared that he will be gone when I do. I hold onto him for as long as I can, until he lets go, looking up at me with tears in his eyes.
"I'm happy for you." I babble.
But, I also feel obligated to say that. It's not that I'm not happy that he lived the life he wanted, but a part of me feels like I don't get a say in whether or not he should have done this. I was the one to take away this opportunity, and I should be the one to give my blessing for his decision. He was always selfless, and he more than anyone, deserves to at least be selfish and take what he wants.
"I love you, Steve." I smile. "You'll always be my brother."
"You'll always be my sister." He grins back.
We both look back at the lake, masking the moment together. We don't need to say anything to each other, just our presence is enough. But, eventually, I stand up, looking down at him one last time. I kiss his cheek and make my way over to Bucky, Sam, and Bruce. I help them pack away the final parts of the machine, before watching Bruce and Sam push the cart filled with the separate parts through the trees. Bucky pulls me into a side hug, seeing the dried tears on my face and puffy, red eyes. I hold him tightly, hugging one of the last people I have left.
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