November 2014
"Give me a shot of... Um..." Cass began his order with the brunette waitress who stood before you at the small table.
Dean turned over his shoulder to see her better. "Four whiskeys."
The four of you now sat at a nearby bar, having watched Claire leave moments earlier. Cass had insisted on going after her, the second Dean had pulled you back. But as much as you hated to admit it, Dean had been right about doing so. The girl needed space and together you and the Winchesters had convinced Cass to give her a small amount of time before going after her again.
"Cass, don't beat yourself up man... Claire was..." Sam, ever the more emotionally equiped brother was trying to console the angel.
Cass finished Sam's sentence before he could continue though. "Right. She was right. Who am I to tell her how to live her life?"
"Well, somebody needs to... It's not like we're talking about Mother Teresa here. The girl just about knocked over a Gas n' Sip. She's got issues." Dean commented.
Which elicited a small sigh of frustration from you. "Anyone would have them after what she's been through..."
Sure, Claire had issues, but the three men seemed to be missing the point. Yes, she had tried to rob a connivence store. Yes, she was delusional about Randy, her supposed father figure. But most importantly, she was a seventeen year old girl, and no one had been there to guide her.
"Because of me." You didn't want to confirm or deny Cass with a response, so you stayed quiet, deep in thought. Your mind wondering back to your own sister, hoping she was okay.
"Well, you are wearing her old man's meat suit. Probably didn't help." Fucking hell Dean, your comment wasn't helping. You were relieved to see Sam shaking his head at him.
The conversation turned to Cass asking Sam and Dean about their father. The brothers then told you both about the time Dean had gotten drunk in New York. Very, very drunk in New York. Which had resulted in Dean, back then a teen himself, stereotypically telling his dad how much he hated him.
In a deep voice, Sam added to the end of the story, an impersonation of their dad. "It's not my job to be liked. It's my job to raise you right."
Neither Dean or Sam, had spoken much about their parents in the past. At least not to you. And you were fascinated to hear about their youth and how different you had been raised when compared to them.
"What about you Glowworm?" All three men turned to you when Sam asked you the question.
"Hmm? Me?" You weren't expecting things to turn on you.
Dean was sitting on your right and he turned in his chair to face you expectantly. "You had your mom and dad right? What was that like?"
"Ummm. Normal, I guess." But that didn't seem to satisfy Dean or the others. "I didn't go to a bar when I was underage for a... No, wait technically I did. Mum and Dad were there though, somewhere..."
The three of them looked at you bewildered. "You, your parents took you to a bar, when you were underage? How old were you?" Sam asked the question but Dean and Cass nodded, curious.
"Firstly, it was a pub, with a bar. They're like restaurants, so families go there to eat too. My dad used to play in bands when I was growing up. It was his hobby. Bass and lead guitar." Dean seemed interested in the instruments. "And most years they were booked on New Years Eve and the whole family went. I remember falling asleep under the table when I was about five or so, even with the music playing." You laughed at that memory. How you'd managed to sleep through that seemed impossible now.
"And then when I was like, fourteen maybe, I remember cleaning up the floor, from all the change the drunks left around the bar. My best friend and I probably got about thirty dollars from that, each." That was a good New Years.
Sam and Dean just stared at you, grinning. Castiel was shocked. Either that or he didn't understand you at all. It was Dean who broke their silence. "So your parents knew you were doing all that?"
"Yeah..." You nodded your head. "Well at the time they didn't realise we were collecting the money I guess. But they knew we were there. In that general vicinity."
"So did you ever get in trouble for anything? Or were your parents just chill?"
You laughed at Sam's question. "My parents were strict. I got detention for passing a note around the class with a dirty joke on it once. Almost got suspended actually... My dad wasn't impressed. Gave me an earful. He was old fashioned, still is... I think..." It felt weird to talk about your family like that. You didn't know what your dad was like anymore. He could've changed. For all you knew he could've... Nope snap out of that.
You glanced at Dean, then Sam to make sure they hadn't caught your few seconds of distress. "What was the joke?" Sam jumped in. Good they hadn't noticed.
You took a moment, your unfocused eyes moving around as you tried to remember the whole thing, but parts of it were blank. "It was a long one. Aaahh... A little Johnny skit... It was pretty juvenile actually."
"Well, let's hear it." Dean shuffled forward in his chair.
But you shook your head at him slightly. "I really don't remember... It had the phrase 'I would if I could, but I can't' and there was a location called 'sex street' but I don't remember the punchline or why it was supposed to be funny... I just had the worst possible timing and sent it to one of the boys in my class, while the principal was in the room..."
"A boy huh? Did you have a little crush on him or something?" Dean seemed way too interested in your pathetic story.
"Nope... It was just a dare... And when I got home Dad literally washed my mouth out with soap, but that was about it..." You brought the conversation back to both of your parents. "My mum and dad always said that they would be proud of me, no matter what I did. Even when I got detention. They also didn't care if I didn't get into University, or get a good job or whatever."
"They just wanted me to try my best and be happy with my choices... And when I did stupid shit like that, well, they pulled me up, like your dad did..." You motioned to each Winchester brother.
You continued, on, when none of them said anything else. "I think that's what Claire needs. Not to be told what to do, but, well, have someone that's there for her, proud of her... Telling her not to do something, like go back to this Randy dude, it won't do any good... She just needs someone to be there when it falls apart..."
"So, you think Claire is in trouble?" Cass was addressing only you.
You looked up at him as he was directly across from you. "Yeah I do... I don't like the sound of this guy... I meant what I said to her... Randy's probably only after one thing... And even if I'm wrong, and he's not, he's encouraging her to steal..."
The table turned serious but typically, Dean was unfiltered. "Are you speaking from experience there sweetheart?" His voice was gentle and full of concern.
You didn't realise how your comments might have come across until now so you cleared your throat before speaking again. "No... No no no... But I'm ashamed to admit, I had a friend, a guy... He was a coworker really... And he pulled that shit on someone close to Claire's age... I'm talking a thirty nine year old man and an eighteen year old girl. Made worse, because he was her manager... Safe to say, we weren't friends after that..."
Dean's face seemed relieved as you finished explaining the experience you'd witnessed.
The bartender had come around again and Sam ordered everyone another drink. The plan was to wait another hour before going to visit Claire at Randy's house. One last check in before you all agreed to leave her alone. That was the most you could do unless she agreed to let you help her.
When the time came to leave the bar, Cass went ahead to pay the waitress and Sam had gone to take a leak, leaving you and Dean to head back to the car first. As you stepped out into the street, Dean placed his arm around your shoulders and spoke softly. "I'm sure they'd be proud of you."
"What?" You asked confused.
He chuckled at you. "Your parents. Your mom and dad. You've been doing your best, ever since you got here... And you were awesome today. They'd be proud of you."
When Sam and Dean first decided it was time to train you in self defence, it was purely for what the name suggested. Self. Defence. Nothing more.
When you began hunting on accident with them, you were made to promise, countless times now, that you would always listen to their instructions. No. Matter. What. If either brother told you to back off, stay put, stand down, even move one centimetre more to the left, you did it. No. Questions. Asked.
And when you arrived at Randy's house for one more check in on Claire, you regrettably did as you were told. Going back to the car, after discovering that Randy, had been tied up by three unknown men, with Claire nowhere in sight.
Dean, Sam and Cass, had gone in guns blazing, ten minutes ago and counting and it was excruciating to wait. What made it worse, was hearing the blood curdling scram of a young girl, coming from the house.
Screw promises you thought. What if one of those idiots is the reason for the noise coming from Claire's lungs. What if Dean has done something dumb and threatened the poor girl like he'd done months ago to you when he was a demon.
No. He wouldn't. Couldn't.
Dean was back to normal again.
He was kind. Caring. Moody lately...
Your mind pulled you back to earlier that evening as you had stepped out of the car to go and confront Claire in the convenience store. When Dean had stopped you to check your gun and then ordered you to keep it under your jacket. All so you could deal with the teenage girl.
Further back. Two months before, the oldest Winchester had told a US Marine to shoot him if it made him feel better. Like you were now, on that occasion in Missouri, you had been told to wait at the car while he chased after Rowena. Learning after the fact, on the drive home to the bunker, by Sam, and not the man himself, that Cole Trenton was the reason the witch had gotten away.
"Fuck this." You whispered to no one but yourself as you stepped out of the car and headed towards the house. Consequences to your actions could be dealt with later. You just had to know that Claire was okay. That Dean was...
Stupid brain. Always overthinking things.
As you stepped up onto the path that would lead you to the house, you were relieved to hear Dean's voice. "Get her out of here!" Followed by Sam more quietly stating "Yeah. Go."
You were mortified however when Castiel with Claire, followed by Sam, emerged from the front door of the house. Thus catching you in the act of disobeying the instructions to stay put. And as the three of them continued on their path to the car, the younger Winchester grabbed you by the arm and forcefully brought you with him.
"Glowworm! What're you doing? You promised Dean you'd stay in the car?" Sam hissed at you as you nimbly ran down the path next to him, trying to keep up with his long strides.
Hearing noises was no reasonable excuse and you knew it. But you stuttered a response back anyway. "I... I... Heard the scream... Claire she... Sam!" You had jolted to a stop, holding your free arm out in front of you as you realised you still hadn't heard Dean chastising you. "Where's Dean?"
"He... Uh..." Sam turned to you and there was fear in his eyes.
Cass and Claire had already made it to the car. They now sat in the back leather bench seat. The angel consoling his vessel's daughter.
Mumbling and shuffling could be heard from inside the house and Sam darted back towards it, you hot on his heels. There was no way you were staying behind again.
San made it to the doorway mere seconds before you did and when you stepped up there behind him, your heart stopped. Your eyes had landed on Dean, kneeling in the centre of the large open living area. His arms were by his side. A bloodied knife in his right hand. And there on the floor surrounding him, were pools of blood. Flowing from the bodies of four motionless men.
You couldn't scream. You couldn't even make a sound. You just stood, perfectly frozen, eyes open wide in terror. Surely Dean hadn't done this. Not Dean. Not the man you cared for dearly.
Sam now knelt in front of his brother. Having moved to do so shortly after your arrival at the scene. His hands reached up to touch just below his jaw on either side, forcing Dean to look him in the eyes. "Dean. Tell me you had to do this... Tell me it was them or you."
The sound of Claire screaming once again rang out loud from behind you as she saw Randy, the man she considered a father figure, included in the body count. You looked over your shoulder and saw Cass averting her eyes from the sight. He was trying to usher her out the door and back to the car. But she wouldn't move.
You wanted nothing more than to join Sam by his brothers side, but Claire... Cass should have kept her in the safety car.
Knowing what the right thing to do was, against your own desire, you walked over to the teen and gently pushed yourself in between her and the angel. Her arms wrapped instantly around your waist. "I got her Cass." You whispered. "Claire... Come on... You don't need to see this."
As you shuffled out of the building with Claire now under your wing, you turned your head back to Cass. "Help him. Please..."
Together you and Claire slowly walked back to the Impala. Both of your arms stretching around her small frame as tightly as you could. Her sobs filled the night air and sharp intakes of breath were sporadic between them.
You reached the car and pulled the door open to usher her inside to the spot you would normally take behind Dean. Placing yourself in the middle so that when the three men eventually joined you, she would be separated from them as much as your body and the leather seat in front of you would allow.
Whenever you had been upset or sick as a child, your mum used to run her fingernails over your scalp as you snuggled into her. It had always soothed you and you hoped it would do the same for Claire, just as it had done for you. So you began to run your fingers through her thick blonde hair. Your nails circling the skin beneath it gently, moving from place to place.
You sat there with Claire in silence, as she continued to cry. Quietly now into your chest. Your top layer was wet from the tears but you didn't mind.
Finally, the three men returned to the car with Sam and Cass escorting Dean to sit in the passenger seat. This was followed by Cass entering in next to you and Sam moving around the hood to come in behind the steering wheel in front of Claire. From the corner of your eye you could see Cass inching forward to look upon her. And while you didn't move to allow it to happen, you briefly took the hand that scratched her head and rested it on his arm, signalling to him that she was okay.
Your hand returned to Claire's head, continuing the soft circling of her scalp. You then looked up towards Sam whose back rested into the seat in front of you. He had started the car to drive away. On his right, you could see Dean facing you and you chanced a look in his eyes. They were apologetic, but they were also filled with shame.
His face had a trickle of blood, from somewhere in his hairline, to the top of his eyebrow. But there were no other marks, cuts or bruises on his face. Unlike that day he had chased after Rowena and found himself face to face with Cole. The men Dean had killed just now, had barely left a dint in him and you wondered if it had been a fair fight. If Sam was right to ask him if he had no choice in what he had done.
Not wanting Cass or Sam to hear your question, you mouthed at him "Are you okay?" Hoping he would be able to read your lips.
He shook his head at you and turned away. At least he had understood you.
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A/N: If you're enjoying this story, don't be afraid to let me know! I love hearing what you thought. Simple emojis or votes are appreciated too :)