"We continued spending time like that on the rooftop until his friends discovered us one day. His whole demeanor changed once his friend caught us and they started to question him about all sorts of things. I felt uncomfortable so I escaped from there. But as I was about to descend down the stairs I heard him say 'He is just clinging to me because he likes me. It's not that I'm secretly spending time with him so, stop trying to fry my brain.'"
"I heard one of them say 'What the fuck! so the guy that Hanni likes fucking likes guys. If she knew that the person she liked was gay then maybe she would accept me. AHAHAH.' I couldn't bear to listen anymore so I just escaped from there and from then onwards I stopped going to the rooftop. Although I don't mind coming out, I still wanted to come out on my own timeline when I wanted to not because someone wanted to avoid being questioned to."
"Just like that senior year started. At the beginning of my senior year in high school, rumors started circulating about me being gay and that I had harassed a guy. I didn't know about the rumors until later when the situation started going out of hand. I was getting alienated by people who I thought were my friends. They would snicker behind my back whenever I passed by them."
"I didn't really care about it because I had Chan, Hyunjin and Changbin which was enough for me. However, slowly, things started to get out of hand. They would leave notes like 'Shitty gay' 'Dirty Homosexual' 'Die you fag' and blah blah in my lockers and even write it out in my desk. They would throw papers at me during my cleaning duty and some daring one would even trip me down the hallways whenever I was walking by."
"Even Chan and all were starting to get implicated by this so I distanced myself away from them. That was when the bullying started to get really bad. They would push me down, shove me against the lockers, lock me at the storage room and all that shit. You know back then I hate all of them. Those guys who used to laugh around me, complimented me and tried to get closer to me were the same ones who were doing all those things to me. The guys I helped when they were getting bullied or alienated looked at me either with disgust or just avoided me. "
Minho paused for a really long time as if he was choked with emotions before continuing "I was totally all alone and started to resent everyone around me. So, I started to skip schools. Back then I didn't know that all these rumors were being spread and were made worse by the guy I liked and his group of friends all because a girl rejected one of them because the one she liked was me. Maybe, I knew but I just didn't want to accept it because no matter what once he and I were really close friends who cared for each other."
"Even with all these happening to me I never once showed an ounce of my feelings to those bastards. But occasionally when it was all too much I would cry in the bathroom to vent out all my feelings. One time, when I was crying in one of the stall those guys came in probably wanting to smoke. I didn't like the smell of the smoke so I wanted to get out of there. When they saw me one of the guy sneered and said 'Look who it is? If it isn't the most popular guy of our school at the moment.'"
"Not wanting to see those conceited smile I tried to get out of there when, the other guy yanked me back and said 'Where are you going? Chat with us a bit. What are you in a hurry for?' Another guy sneered while saying 'Don't you like guys? Come on tell us who among us is more your type. Don't be shy that person might even play with you if you're honest.'"
Jisung could hear Minho's voice tremble at this point so he held his hand while Minho resumed "I tried to set myself free from them but with all of them together ganging up on me I couldn't. The guy who was rejected by the girl called Hanni started to touch me while my hands were being pressed down by another guy at the wall while saying 'Will he get hard if we touch him?' The guy holding down my hand laughed and replied 'Bet he will. He likes guys after all. Why don't you try it' as he tried to unbutton my shirt. At that moment I was so scared that I was literally begging them to stop it."
"That was when the guy I had liked for such a long time said 'Stop pretending. Don't you like men? We all are just doing you a favour. Stop struggling.' I was slapped so hard by reality and that was when the coloured glasses I had for him was finally taken off. When did the guy who was so sweet turn out to be like this? Looking at him and the rest of those bastards eyes disgusted me so much. The hands that were trying to open my clothes and touching me felt like as if a hot iron was pressed on my body. It burnt and hurt do much"
"I don't know how but I somehow managed to struggle myself out of there. Maybe, I gained the strength from all the disgust I felt towards them. I ran to home and showered scrubbing every part of my body so hard that my skin was about to bleed. I didn't come out of my room. I refused to go to school and I refused to say anything to my parents."
Jisung felt a pang in his heart listening to what the young Minho had to go through. He wished that he could time travel back to time so that he could beat the shit out of those guys and hug the Lee Minho of back then while saying things like 'Don't be afraid.' 'I am here for you.' 'It's not your fault.' 'Everything will be alright.' But all he could do was hold the other hand tightly while wishing that he could take all the pain away.
Minho didn't want to stop now. He didn't want to hide anything from Jisung. So, after calming himself down a little he continued "After a week of avoiding everybody Chan came to my house and didn't leave until I opened the door for him. Once he saw that I was doing okay he sighed and hugged me while saying 'I was worried about you.' But at that moment all I could feel was my blood going cold. I felt like my whole body was burning and that my throat was constricted by something. I couldn't breathe properly. The part of my body that felt the presence of another human being close to me felt like burning."
"I pushed Chan away and ran to bathroom to puke. After I retched up even the acid of my stomach I finally calmed down. Chan must have realized that the situation was really worse at that moment because his face became so serious as he said 'We need to tell your parents about this.' I shook my head as I tried to refuse because I didn't want to give them any trouble when Chan sternly said 'Minho things has already gone overboard. There are even videos circulating around the whole school. Although Changbin has been making sure that the video doesn't get uploaded online. It is still being shared among the students like crazy.'"
"I remember freezing at what Chan said and after a long while asked 'What video?' Chan didn't say anything instead he simply took out his phone and showed me a ten second video where my dress was being opened and I was being touched while I was begging for them to stop it. I once again, had to run back to the bathroom to throw up but there was nothing else to throw out. Instead, I just heaved as if I was heaving out all of my discomfort and disgust away."
"I don't know what happened after that. I must have fainted because by the time I was conscious again I was at the hospital. Hyunjin and Changbin was there to look over me and seeing that I woke up they rushed over towards me but stopped midways. I guess Chan must have said something about how I vomited after he hugged me. Although, I felt really guilty and sorry towards my friends I was really thankful to them for understanding me. Because at that moment, I didn't think I could handle another human being so close to me."
"I remember smiling at them and reassuring them that I am fine even when I was not. I had probably said something along the line like 'I'm fine. Wipe those tears out. It's disgusting seeing you guys cry.' and Hyunjin had snapped at me as he said 'Fine my ass. If you were fine would you be at the hospital right now. Are we even friends? How can you cut us off like this I thought we were friends?'"
"I replied saying 'I didn't want to implicate you guys with my situation. You guys deserve better.' Changbin really cried as he said 'This fucking stupid guy. I fucking hate you so much. So what if you implicate me. Aren't we friends. We need to stick up with each other both at good and bad times. Don't you know that.' Back then I really thought that Changbin was so pitiful. So, I had patted his head while saying 'I'm sorry. It's my fault don't cry.' I remember Changbin crying even harder while saying 'Don't apologize. You have done nothing wrong.'"
"At this point my parents came inside with Chan. By looking at their grave facial expression I could tell that Chan had already told everything to my parents. The guys left the room leaving me alone with my parents. My mom sat at my bed side while holding my hand in hers and silently cried. My father also with a grave expression sat beside the bed."
"After my mom had calmed down my father looked at me and said "Why didn't you tell us you were having a difficult time. Are we such an incapable parents?" My mother after hearing those words cried even harder while saying 'My baby.... I'm sorry for being such an sorry excuse of a parent. Even, when you didn't come out of room for a long period of time and started to skip school I just thought you were going through one of those rebellious phase. I'm sorry, for not paying enough attention.'"
"I felt like crying hearing my mother word and just shook my head from left to right to tell her that it wasn't the case. But, I was afraid to say anything, even if I wanted to tell her that it wasn't her fault so bad. Because, if I had then I would have surely bawled myself out just like my mom. My dad sighed while pulling me and my mom into a group hug and patted my head while saying 'Don't forget that I'm still here. While I'm still around let's see who dares to look down on my son.'"
"I think that was the first time my father showed his love toward me so openly. That hug didn't feel like I was being scorched by hot iron but rather it gave me the feeling of comfort like that of being wrapped around in a warm blanket, and was given a hot mug of chocolate milk in a very cold day. For the first time in a really long time I felt like that everything was going to be okay. So, I remember bawling my eyes out while complaining to them about all the bullying I had suffered like a child that I was at that time."
"After that incident I never went to school again. I was home-schooled till the final exams. I heard from Chan, Hyunjin and Changbin that my father looked so cool while going to the school with a whole team of lawyers and fighting with teachers for their carelessness in managing the students. My father had apparently even sued the school for feigning ignorance about bullying occurring in the school. In the end, the major bullies were all expelled from the school and the one's who were slightly involved in the bullying were punished accordingly."
"The parents of various student wanted to revolt but thanks to my dad strong persistence and his team of lawyers all of them were silenced. The day that those guys were expelled Chan bought all of us pizza saying that 'He was feeling good today' as an excuse. Over time, I received many apology message however those message were far to late and I didn't plan on forgiving any one of them. So, I never opened any of those message but rather I simply changed my phone number after that incident and deactivated all of my social accounts."