By the time we're back, it's almost dinner time.
The first dinner of the summer is always special. We reminisce on past summers, but we also talk about the things we're going to do during the upcoming summer.
The boardwalk was fun, but I spent the entire time thinking about Jere, and how tired and sad he looked earlier. He missed out on the entire afternoon.
"Guys, I'm going to go check on Jere and wake him up for dinner. I'll be back," I say to the group, walking towards the back of my house that leads to my bedroom.
"Okay hurry up, Y/n! We still have to get ready together later for the party!" Belly calls out to me. I turn around and give her a thumbs up.
When I finally make it to the sliding door that leads to my bedroom, I open it as quiet as possible in case Jeremiah is still sleeping. But as soon as I open it, I see him laying on my bed, awake with his phone screen lit up.
"Hi," I whisper, making my way towards the bed.
He puts his phone down quickly, screen side down, and pulls the blanket over him up towards his chest. He's facing the wall so I can't see his face.
"Hi," he whispers back, but something sounds off about his voice.
"Jere look at me," I say, placing a hand on his back.
He turns towards me slowly, wiping his cheek.
"I'm sorry," he mutters, and then gives me a weak smile.
"For what? Oh god. Are you alright? I'm sorry I left you back here earlier, I should've stayed."
He shakes his head, tears falling slowly down his face.
"It's not that. It's stupid, okay. I was asleep for awhile and then I went on my phone. I was looking at old pictures, from when my mom was still healthy. And then I started thinking about how your face dropped when you saw her today. I don't know if you knew, but it was so obvious how you felt seeing her. I could see the hurt all over your face. And I know it really sucks to see her like this. I'm sorry," he says, still trying to hold everything back.
I shake my head. "Don't you dare apologize to me. Come here," I whisper back, pulling his head towards my chest.
I place a hand onto his back and run it in circles, letting him melt into me. The guilt of leaving him from earlier sets in, and I feel like crying as well. But I know if I started crying too, he'd feel even worse.
"I can't even begin to imagine how this feels for you. Don't worry about me whatsoever. I want to be there for you as much as I can during this, Jere. Will you let me do that?"
He nods his head, and his breathing begins to slow down.
"You're my best friend. You were there for me when my dad left us, when I broke my arm, when I lost my favorite stuffed animal, Mochi. I know you want to be strong and you've been taking care of her, but you don't have to pretend to be strong with me. I know you and I could tell just by the look on your face when you got out of the car today that you've been upset. Whenever you need comfort or help, I'm here."
I rub his back in circular motions for a few minutes more, the two of us laying together in silence. When we finally sit up, he dries his cheeks with the sleeve of his sweater.
I sit up with him, seeing his cheeks pink and eyelashes darkened from crying.
"First day of summer and I'm already doing this," he says, and then we laugh for a moment.
"Jere, your mom is sick. It doesn't matter if it's the first day of summer or the last. You're going to be sad. And you're allowed to rest and take it all in. But before we get killed, we should probably head over so we aren't late for dinner."
He smiles at me, wiping his cheeks one more time.
"You're right. I'm starving, let's go."
I head downstairs with Jeremiah following behind me. My mom is still on the couch, but this time, she's crocheting and watching a soap opera. A half-eaten frozen dinner is sat on the coffee table in front of her.
"Mom, I'm going to the Fisher's next door for dinner. I can bring leftovers if you want."
She doesn't even look up from the TV screen.
"That's great sweetheart. I had my meatball dinner, don't bring me anything. These Lean Cuisine things are my lifeline."
It was true. Ever since Dad left us, my mom hasn't cooked a single thing. She'll throw a frozen dinner into the microwave and call it a day, or we order food to the house. She lost all motivation to cook since he's been gone.
When we walk outside, it's becoming dark out. It's our cue to run over to the Fisher's as fast as possible before Laurel gives us a lecture for being late to the iconic first night of summer dinner.
When we get inside, everyone is already sat around the table talking. I look at Jere, with a look that must've said "I'm scared for my life," because he laughs at me.
"Thereeeeeee they areeeeeee" Steven whines. Everyone laughs when he says it, except for Laurel.
"You two are the reason my mashed potatoes are cold. They can only handle one more microwave minute before they turn into saw dust," Laurel says, as I take my seat next to Belly.
Belly shoots me a look, that tells me she wants to laugh but can't. I nudge her foot under the table.
"I'm sorry, Laur. It won't happen again," Jere replies, raising his eyebrows at me.
"Right. Exactly. Never again will Laurel Conklin's potatoes be turned into saw dust," I say, nodding my head.
"Good grief. Okay, everyone eat up. I spent an embarrassing amount of money on these fancy ingredients. Beck, do you want some more iced tea?"
Susannah makes the "shoo" hand motion, which Laurel ignores. She gets up and pours Susannah more tea into her glass. Anytime Laurel helps Susannah, you can tell she's grateful, but she doesn't like how helpless it can make her seem.
"Tonight we celebrate the first night of summer in this sacred household. May the God's of Cousin's beach bring us wealth, happiness, and more dried out mashed potatoes," Susannah raises her glass as a toast.
"And winning more games against Belly on the boardwalk," Conrad chimes in.
"Maybe a girlfriend or something?" Steven adds.
"Letting Conrad win against me on the boardwalk," Belly corrects him.
"To surf as much as possible. And have lots of parties," says Jeremiah.
It's finally my turn.
"May the God's of Cousin's beach get me a boyfriend. Sorry Steven, stole your line there."
I look over at Steven, who grins at me.
"Let's see who can get more phone numbers by the end of the summer. Deal? Whoever wins gets $100."
I roll my eyes.
"Steven, I'm sure Y/n doesn't care about $100. Besides, Y/n already has her foot in the door with someone. She doesn't need to get anyone else's phone numbers," Belly says, giving me a giant, cheesy smile.
"I'm going to toss Junior Mint into the ocean if you're referring to the Cam Cameron, Belly. I swear."
She smiles even harder at me, and pinches my arm excitedly.
"This has to be the summer you give him a shot. He'd be the perfect boyfriend for you."
Both Steven and Conrad snort. They both think that Cam is a loser.
Susannah and Laurel start to laugh. I know that they agree with her. That he'd be perfect for me. Cameron is a local kid who visits Cousin's every year, and I had to reject him last summer. He made a giant scene in asking me out; the whole nine yards. Rose petals decorating a path on the beach, candles lined up in the shape of a heart, a box of my favorite candy and a handwritten letter. Cam is a sweet boy, but last summer I wasn't in the right headspace to date anyone since my dad had just left a few months prior. I didn't feel like I could give a relationship my all, nor did I feel ready for one by any means. I've always been nervous about dating. I like the idea of it in my head, but when it comes to the real thing, it's scary to me.
"Well, he'll be at the bonfire tonight. Let's see if there's a magical spark between you two this year," Steven says from across the table. He thinks he's a comedian.
"You know what, Steven? You think that it's such a joke that Cam asked me out last year? Maybe I will give it a go and see if there's a spark. And I don't think you should find anything wrong with that."
Steven lifts his hands up as a way to surrender.
"Alright everybody, enough. Poor Cam Cameron. Jeez. Let's just enjoy our dinner, shall we?" Susannah says, lightening the mood as she always does.
I look over at Belly, and we smile at each other in unison. Tonight is going to be interesting.