There is a lunch line that everyone has to follow in order to get the food before heading down to the tables and benches set up near the lake, but as we make our way to where the buffet table, I can't help but notice the extra attention that I am drawing with Roman by my side....the side eyes, whispers and giggles and occasional double takes and little waves directed at us.
I am guessing that Roman was very popular here owing to the role his family plays in funding and hosting this event and even though he hasn't been here in a while, a lot of people still remember and recognize him. Also, there is a lot of fists bumps, side hugs and 'good to see you again' going around every few steps we take, sometimes even interrupting our conversation.
But I don't mind it at all.
"What?" Rome asks when I half smile to myself after another person just walked up to him.
"It feels like I am dating the most popular boy in school." I say and he chuckles.
"Well, lucky you." he says, closer to my ear, almost nibbling on my ear lobe.
"Stop it." I whisper, aware that a lot of people are probably looking at us....This is one of many PDAs he is splashing on me.
"Make me." he returns, his eyes sparkling with playfulness, and dropping down to look at my lips.
Someone clears their throat behind us, and we realize we have to move forward in the line.
"Saved by the bell." he utters and I smile and turn his head away from mine.
Looking around, my respect for Raina grows even more for what she has achieved in creating this great platform and community of people. Rome told me that charity work is the one thing she is passionate about and after spending the last three years doing volunteer work myself, I know how fulfilling it is.
We continue walking, this time with Rome's hands on my shoulders when a girl, probably about 16 years old walks up to us and points me in the direction of an eager group of teens taking selfies over their food.
"Can you please take some pictures with us?" She asks shyly.
"Me?" I ask, unable to hide my surprise.
"Yes." She mumbles, slightly bouncing on her feet and looking up at Rome, then at the people in front and behind us on the line before looking down shyly.
I place my hand on her shoulder.
"..Sure, why not." I quickly respond after recovering from my surprise.
One pic, turns to two, then three and the next thing I know, I am sitting down on the bench and having a little chat with them.
After exchanging names, I discover that most of them are from a foster home that Raina financially supports.....they on the other hand I realize are more interested in knowing more about Rome than me actually....how did we meet, how long have we been dating, who spoke to who first? What he is like etc...I smile at their teenage fixation, easily relating to it.
I actually find their inquisitiveness fun and enjoy their company, and we soon move from talking about boys to them sharing more about their interests and a bit of their back story. Soon I forget that I was supposed to be getting lunch.
That's until Rome shows up.
"Hai guys." He says, coming up besides me with two plates in hand.
"Do you mind if I steal her away, she's gotta eat." He says with a wink that I'm sure they fawn over when he is gone.
"It was nice to meet you guys..I will see you later." I say, standing up.
Instead of joining Raina who is sitting with her usual VIP entourage, we end up at a table next to hers where a group of camp counselors and staff are sitting. After we eat, we spend a bit of time just chatting and getting to know them and what they do. Rome now sits with his legs crossed and his hand on the back, casually, and perhaps even unconsciously playing with the ends of my pony tail.
I am enjoying how deep into the conversation he is, his brows furrowed as he listens to them and their experiences in the company. I love how genuinely interested he is about what they do and when he exchanges phone numbers with two of them so that he can follow up on some things, my heart warms up.
"So, Sienna..." Adam, the guy leading the press/Media team speaks to me and I lean towards him to converse with him properly. Rome stands up to pick up phone call, and steps aside to speak more privately. I see him at a distance, talking animatedly, and pacing back and forth, occasionally kicking the grass under his feet. He returns a few minutes later when when we are all just about to leave and Adam and I are laughing about something.
"Everything ok?" I ask.
"Yeah." He replies, shoving his phone into his pocket.
"Alright, well, Adam and I are going to look at some video content from this morning before joing the others, wanna come?"
"Nah, I need to be somewhere some." he says with a frown.
"But." he cups my head in his hands and fleetingly brushing his lips against the side of my face.
"Come find me when you two are done." he says, winking at me and nodding at Adam, before turning away...he seems to be in a rush.
He whistles, and Bear and Beta who were playing nearby come running towards him, they circle around him before walking away with him.
"Shall we?" Adam asks, causing me to stop watching Rome leave.
"Please." I say and follow him.
*
Some time passes before I go looking for Rome and find him near the open field among a group of other people. He is sitting with his knees raised up and the palm of his hands stretched flat on the ground behind him.
"Hey." I say, leaning over his shoulder from behind him. My cross necklace dangles in the air between us, before resting on top of his head.
"Mhhm." Rome hums absentmindedly without turning back to look at me.
I move around until I am standing on the sloping ground in front of him.
Now that I am obstructing his view, his gaze shifts from the two teams playing 'capture the flag' to look up at me..but he says nothing.
"I have been looking for you." I say.
"Really?" he asks, bringing his hand forward, he grabs the back of my knee and pulls, I almost stumble over him but catch myself so that I end up sitting next to him on the grass.
"You were gone a long time." he says when I am settled.
"Yeah..sorry..I got carried away." I say, brushing some loose strands of hair behind my ears.
"Whoaaa" He suddenly shouts, and claps along with a few other people who celebrate when one team manages to successfully bring their opponents flag into their territory.
"Adam seems nice, very attentive and made you laugh a lot." he says
"Right." I say and then realize what he is implying.
"Seriously" I chuckle.
"Seriously?" I repeat when the look on his face tells me that he is being serious.
"You are jealous, really?" I say and laugh.
He slowly starts to smile as he watches me laugh, and then kisses the back of my hand...my smile fades and as a warm fuzzy feeling grows in my belly.
"I don't do well with competition." he admits shamelessly.
I hold his gaze for a second and shake my head.
"No one can compete with you.....I know where I belong."
He eyes stay on me for a while longer, sweeping over my face, his own mind seemingly deep in thought.
"Good." he says finally and abruptly stands up.
"I'm going to play too...don't go anywhere." he demands.
"Ok." I smile as I watch him join a team.
I stay for a while but unfortunately, I have to keep it moving, and Rome too has things to do that don't require me to be glued to his side constantly.
After the full afternoon of combined activities is over, everyone is now free to just lounge around as we please while we wait for super to be served.....I hear there will be a bonfire too later in the night.....As for me, after the previous night of little sleep and a full day of activities, all I want to do is lie down and sleep. I am also fantasizing about taking my new sneakers off and soaking my feet in some cold water in order to soothe the ache of having them on all day.
I spent a larger portion of the late afternoon with Brenda and we bonded with a few other people who I find myself with as we make our way back to the main camp area where the eating area is......As we walk, we come across groups of people taking walks, hiking, and one of us suggests that we do the same before heading back.
I'm tempted to say no, but after listening to Brenda's very convincing peach about enjoying nature and once in a life time opportunity..I decide to tag along.
I end up really glad that I did....the hike is fun, and we tease each other about spotting a bear, or stepping on snake etc and it's all just belly laughs and playfulness...and it becomes the best way to end the day.
I didn't realize that we are gone for along time, until Bear and Beta just randomly show up.
"Hey, Sienna, aren't these your dogs?" someone asks, after initially thinking that they were wild animals.
"Heyyy." I bend down to ruffle their backs as they jump up and down and lick my hands.
"What are you boys doing here?" I look at where they came from, knowing Rome should be close.
"We should probably head back" someone says and we turn back, following the way Bear and Beta and leading.
We make a particular turn into a pathway and literally run into three people, among them, Rome. We all sort of stop in our tracks and face them.
Looking at their faces, it looks like something is wrong.
Rome looks over my shoulder, scanning the place, before stepping forward to grab my upper arm.
"Hai" I murmur.
"Do you guys know how long we have been looking for you?" he mutters tightly, looking over at the other as he speaks.
"Why?" I ask.
"Do you realize what time it is?" I feel the tight grip of his fingers around my arm but ignore it.
Someone responds that we got carried away and didn't realize how late it got.
His response is to grip my hand and pull me along with him on the pathway that leads back to where we came from.
Everyone is quiet as we walk back, not a word is spoken by anyone...just the sound of the birds in the trees and our feet on the ground is evident......I notice the ladies occasional glances at our bizarre behavior.....this looks odd and they are probably wondering what is going on, and honestly, so am I.
The last time I saw him, he was warm and overly affectionate....that has changed..now he is agitated and phlegmatic. I don't know what happened between now and then, but I decide it's better to wait until we are alone or back at the camp to ask him what's going on.
Finally getting off the walking trail that is within the bushes with tall trees and grass, we walk into a more open area and come across at least two groups of three people who turns out were also looking for us.
Luckily, the camp is near and we reach there and find that everything and everyone looks morbidly normal. Everyone we are with just starts to go in different directions, but with Rome's fingers still intertwined with mine, I have no choice but to follow him.
My patience starts to run out and my steps start to falter. Sensing my apprehension, his gaze turns to mine and slows down.
I realize we are leaving the camp site when Rome's G-wagon comes into view, it's no longer parked in the parking lot where it was initially parked when we first arrived here this morning.
"Wait? are we leaving?" I ask but he continues walking.
"Rome?"
I snap my hand away from his and this time he stops walking.
"Why are we leaving?" I ask, massaging my fingers because it feels like he cut off the blood supply by his tight grip.
He takes a deep breath, briefly closing his eyes to do it.
"What where you thinking going off into the forest when everyone else was heading back."
I open my mouth to speak but he speaks before I can.
"Do you realize what time it is? This is not some play park you can go taking a stroll in, it's a Forrest, with a lake on the other side." He grumbles.
This time, my mouth stays closed in bewilderment.
"Yes it's a forest, but it has walking trials where people obviously take walks in, besides, I was not alone....also we weren't the only group to venture off." I say in defense.
Why is he making such a big deal out of it?
"Where is your phone?" He asks.
What does my phone got to do with anything? I guess he called and I didn't pick up. I pat my pockets, but can't find it.
"I..." I look around me as if expecting it to be pop up in the air, or be lying on the ground somewhere.
I had it with me all afternoon. I remember looking at during our hike before putting it in my back pocket..
I don't remember giving it to anyone.
Where is my phone? good question.
"I......" I start to say again, now worried.
Rome pulls out something from his pocket and I recognize my peace phone cover...it's my phone...except the screen is broken.
"Where did you get this?" It can't even go on....it's broken.
"Someone picked it up in the forest and brought it to the lost and found, luckily I was there and recognized it." he says.
"Oh."
"Someone said you went off with some other ladies but when we tried to call the others..you guys where so far gone, there was no service where you were." He says.
I am starting to understand his panic.
He takes a step forward and palms my cheek.
"I thought something happened to you...." He murmurs softly and that's when I recognize the anguish in his eyes.
"I'm here, I'm fine." The words are barely audible.
He says nothing, just looks at me like I did something completely foolish and he doesn't know how best to punish me.
"I'm sorry I scared you...I..." I shrug and cup his face, then softly peck his lips.
"Doctor? doctor?" someone comes running towards us.
"You're the doctor right?" A young man breathlessly asks, while adjusting his reading glasses on the bridge of his nose.
"Yes." Rome responds without taking his eyes off me.
"Please come with me, there is a ..... situation."
"Don't go anywhere I can find you in a minute" He utters, as he follows the young man.
I take a deep breath... And lean against the car and then notice a familiar figure approach me.
"Ross?...what are you doing here?" I ask, but honestly, I am happy to see him.
"Working."
"Right....when did you get here."
"About an hour ago." He replies and folds his arms over his chest, his eyes looking over my shoulder in the usual scan of the environment.
"Did you come alone?" I ask, curiously.
"No." He shakes his head but doesn't attach a number.
"Why did you come?"
He shrugs. "you want me too leave?" he asks jokingly and I frown.
"To beef up security I guess...Now that his uncle is in town."
"His uncle? Lucian is here?" I ask.
"He was spotted in Hartford this morning...You didn't know?"he asks, suddenly anxious that he told me.
"No...." I answer truthfully and a part of me wonders if he watched that video of Lucian almost assaulting me.
Lucian is back?
My stomach ties in knots.
I suddenly recall that phone call Roman received early in the afternoon that had him pacing. This explains his behavior just now..why he freaked out so much.
"But wait a minute? am I in danger?"
I didn't realize I spoke out loud till Ross answers me.
"No...everything is fine don't worry.... it's just precautionary measures .... You know how it goes." He says but I am not entirely convinced.
*
It's another two hours before we can finally leave the camp site. Heading to the car, I take the back seat behind the drivers seat next to Raina who is riding back to the lodge with us along with another gentleman who takes the front seat.
As soon as the car gets into drive, Rome's hand passes between the two seats and I eagerly place mine in his, not really caring that Raina is watching. I occasionally squeeze his fingers or readjust my hand in his, wishing I could do more to share more body contact with him....But for now, this is the best we can do and we stays like that for the rest of the drive.
As the man in the front seat engages Rome in conversation, I rest my head against the window, feeling the exhaustion of the day completely catch up with me. Even Raina is now catching a snooze. During the day, it's so easy to get distracted from my own thoughts....but in the quiet silence...there is nothing to do except face them head on.
At the lodge, we wait until Raina is in her room first, before going to ours. Looking at the bed, it looks so inviting and I feel like I will crush as soon as I get on it...so best to bath first.
I take my shoes off, finally.....and start getting ready for my bath, when Rome walks towards me with his phone in his hand.
"It's your mom." He says.
Oh..right, I broke my phone.
"Thanks, I say and walk to the window to look at the view as I speak to her.
'Hello.'
'I have been trying to call you a million times, Roman said you broke your phone, what happened?' I roll my eyes.
A million times? I only lost my phone late in the afternoon, so she couldn't have called that many times.
The phone conversation stretches longer than intended...but I love listening to her..her voice is soft and gentle ..soothing....I can even picture her curled up on the sofa at home, her legs on dad's lap and he gently massages her feet while watching TV, two cups of tea on the table in front of them...no drama.
I sigh.
The bathroom door opens and out walks Rome, completely naked.
My heart stops and I stare.
Even in his none aroused state, he is such an eye full, and my eyes linger there......I have seen him naked countless times, but it never gets old.
Mom laughs at something she is saying and I realize I am not listening.
The back view of his naked body is entrancing to look at too..the broad shoulders, lean back and waist...taunt rear and long legs covered in thick defined muscles. My heart flutters at the thought that I get to be the only one to see him like this, unguarded and exposed...these are the moments that really make him mine.
He turns around and finds me looking straight at him....his eyebrow goes up as if to question me.
I shrug.
I think I am allowed to look at what's mine like he does me.
Finding the front view visually unmatched, I swallow and bite my lip.
'Um, mom, I got to call, I will call you tomorrow.' I say, as he picks up a pair of jokers, glides them up his hips and starts to fasten the draw strings.
Why is he getting dressed? He wears briefs and sometimes nothing at all to bed.
'Yes....alright........pass my regards to dad..I love you..goodnight.' I say and hung up.
A shirt comes on and he sits on the edge of the bed to put on his shoes.
"You're going somewhere?" I walk to where he is.
He stands up and towers over me.
"Yes, but I'm not going far, just need to talk to the security team for a while." He utters.
I fold my arms over my chest.
"Don't be long."
He cups the underside of my jaw and the back of my head in his large hands and tilts my head back.
"I won't." He replies, and kisses me tenderly on the lips.... lingeringly, just a small touch of his tongue in my mouth and I am melting and resting my hands on his shoulder.
But suddenly, the kiss ends.... all too quickly.
"I will be right back."
I watch him leave, then turn around to take my bath.
As I fill the tub with warm bubbly water, I take my clothes off in front of the mirror.
Gina told me about the one time she had sex right after waxing her privates and developed some redness down there that was both unsightly and itchy for days.
I dread a similar outcome as I take my underwear off, but breath a sigh of relief when I look moderately normal.
Now at ease, I get into the tub, rejoicing in the feeling of the warm water against my tired body. I massage my feet and calves from under the water and close my eyes to enjoy the soothing feeling.
*
Either I wasn't gone that long, or Sienna spent a really long time in the bathroom.
I'm fixing the fire to warm up the room when she exists the bathroom, naked, just like I did earlier..but clearly, her actions are deliberate to match mine.
I turn around fully after setting up the fire and stop short of having my mouth hang open, as I watch her approach the bed, now dressed in a light cotton long sleeved nightshirt that hangs just below her ass.... It's so light, it's almost see through, and it shapes her breasts perfectly, outlining her taut nipples.....but it's the socks that get me, thigh high.... it's practically lingerie..but the naughty version..like role play.
Frozen in the same position, I tilt my head, and continue to stare.
It's been a long day, even I feel physically drained.....but my body starts to emit those hormones into my blood stream that outweighs my common sense.
She opens up the duvet on her side and settles into the bed, facing my side with her head on her hand.
I take off everything and do the same.
We lay facing each other...quiet....no words spoken.
It feels good to finally have some time alone.
I raise my hand and trace the planes of her face, the bridge of her nose, her cheek.....her eyes close as the tip of my finger runs along her eyebrow, before slowly opening them again.
"So, Lucian is back" she asks and my gaze shifts to hers.
Of course, Ross told her.....I'm not sure whether to now be concerned about their closeness or not, I always did notice that his care for her went a little beyond professional...but Sienna is comfortable with him and for her sake I agreed with Nick to put him on my service instead of his...I hope I don't regret it.
I turn on my back and look up at the ceiling.
"Yes, he was spotted in Hartford, and no, I don't know where he is now." I reply.
"Is that why you freaked out this evening?" she asks and I swallow the slight dread that's coming back to me, reminding me of how it felt finding that broken phone in the forest and not knowing where she was.
"What happens when you find him?"
My baby girl, ever so inquisitive.
"It's nothing for you to worry about." I say, glancing at her briefly.
"Ok." She responds trustingly.
"I was thinking ....do you think you would have freaked out, even a bit...If I didn't miscarry and I told you I was pregnant." She asks a little nervously.
This time I turn to face her fully again, glad that we are finally addressing this topic.
"A little, I think." I admit truthfully and she smiles a little.
"But I wouldn't have shown it .. ofcourse I was going to be happy about it ultimately...I wanted to spend my life with you and children where part of that........the timing would have been off but I was going to be happy either way." I explain.
She sighs and looks up the the ceiling, her hands on her belly and moving in a massaging manner.
"I think I would have freaked out too." she says with a smile, but then her smile drastically falls.
"I feel sad that I didn't get to know that our baby existed...." she whispers, and a tear rolls down the side of her face onto the pillow.
I am tempted to grab her, comfort her...but I also don't want to interrupt her from letting it all out.
Her hand comes up to rub her face in frustration.
"It feels unfair..all of this...I can line stuff up from back when I was young and it all feels so unfair...I haven't done anything to deserve any of this." she murmurs tearfully.
"I'm scared." She adds, turning to looking at me with her teary face.
My heart twists and I can't take it any more.
"Of what?"
""Sometimes I feel so twisted and broken and just not enough for you, for anyone." she says. I itch to touch her, but stay put.
"There is always something pulling down at us and trying to separate us good...that one day it's really going to succeed."
"Do you trust me?" I ask and she nods quickly and repeatedly.
"Then trust that I will not let anything separate us...not this time." I say and she nods again.
"Maybe I am not meant to be a mother." she whispers thoughtfully, words so low I almost don't hear her.
"Don't say that." I admonish her. I already told her she has good chances of becoming one.
She looks at me, and looks away without saying anything.
I see her mind is everywhere, processing different lines of thoughts all at the same time.
"It's Ok if I am not, really...not everything is for everyone." she murmurs softly.
"You don't mean that...you don't have to pretend..not to me." I say, knowing full well that she wants to be one....her denying it is a way to protect herself from disappointment.
"I had started to get used to the idea that I would never be one..but today, I was thinking about how old our baby would have been if things had been different and..." she stops, her words cut off by the lump in her throat.
Another tear falls, and another one.
I stretch my hand over her waist and pull her swiftly towards me.
Tucking her hair behind her ear, I press her head against my collar bone and feel her her body shake with every quiet sob.
I don't know the right things to say to make her feel better.......it's been a lot...but it will be over soon....so I just rub her lack and let her cry.
I let her grieve the loss of our baby....I grieve too, the child we could have had...the child we never knew existed...what ever happens in the future, child or no child, all I know is that she is more than enough for me.
We stay like this, feeding on each other's energy, until she has no more tears to cry.....soon the room fills with complete silence except for the steady soft sound of her breathing.
I slowly pull my numb arm from under her weight and try to massage the feeling back into it....then gather Sienna into my arms again, this time into a more comfortable position.
Then I fall asleep too.
*
It's a few minutes past six when I wake up. Sienna is still soundly asleep. I know I won't be able to go back to sleep and I don't want to disturb her, so I decide to go for a run.
I change into workout clothes and leave a note informing her of my whereabouts, but hopefully, I will be back before she wakes up.
Stepping out, I pull my hoody over my head and pick a route, running along the lake where it's especially cold so early in the morning at this time of this year, but at least the view is great.
However, after a few minutes of joking, the heat builds up in my body and I even start to sweat...I missed this....running, the thrill of feeling my muscles tensing........the injury ruined my routine for a while but now that I have started to get better, I am happy to continue once again.
I allow myself to think about our lost baby again.....what would our relationship been like if we had a child...I picture us bending over a toddler, a boy for some reason, watching him play, putting him to bed...It almost happened.
I stop under tree stump, panting and sweating.
I look around and realize that I was sprinting from the distance I just covered.
I turn around and look at the lake.
I think it's safe to say that these thoughts will never really leave my head......I imagine Sienna will feel it even more than me, sadly enough.
I will always think about our baby each time I look at a child, I will think about what ours would have looked like.
Standing up straight, I start a slow jog back to the lodge.
I hate that all the problems we ever had in our relationship were created by my family.
I get it now....I finally get how she could have loved me back then, yet still left..I see how sometimes you can love someone so much and want the very best for them, even if that doesn't include you...I understand how she could have made that choice for me.
Yesterday seeing her converse with so many people, some of them men who couldn't take their lingering gaze off of her, I realize that she could have easily had a normal relationship with someone else and maybe even been truly happy.
I scoff at thoughts of her in someone else's arms, smiling and laughing..kissing......
Ok stop!
I literally stop running to catch my breath, every intake feeling like sharp knifes in my chest.
I can't...
It would have been better if we never met, but we did, and one way or another, we were always going to meet because of my relationship with Alessio. I can't I bring myself to think about us ending up with other people...I tried it..it didn't feel right. Maybe it's possible for her to be happy with someone else, to live a normal life where she doesn't have to worry about unpleasant in-laws out to get her.
But the thing it, I am not that type of man who steps aside for a more 'deserving' guy to get the girl...I get the girl, period!
Where her love was sacrificial....mine is possessive.. perhaps even a bit obsessed and selfish.
Even in the face of difficulties or danger, I can never let her go.....I know our relationship takes some work right now, but I want to be the one to be with her....I want to be the one to make her happy. I know this whole thing with my family is stressing her out...but I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make the conditions conducive for our relationship to flourish.
It's not in my nature to walk away from things I care about easily...perhaps that why I tried so hard to try and fix things with Vincent before finally giving up.
Sienna is the one thing I can never give up on...The world would not be a place I would want to live in if I didn't have her by my side.....that's how deeply I feel about her.
Getting to the corridor, I slowly walk towards our room and gently open the door, then make my way inside the room with the intention of going straight into the shower.
But Sienna is awake in bed with her phone in hand. She sits up straight and leans against the head board.
"Hey."
"Hai" I reply as I approach her. "Did you see my note?"
"Yep." She raises it up. "How was your run?"
"Good...next time you should come with me." I say, standing on the side of the bed near her...very much aware of the sweat on my body.
"I would like that." she smiles.
"It's a date then."
I notice she still has that outfit from last night, as one of her legs is peaking out of the duvet....I forgot about it...how sexy it looks on her...right now, I can see the print of her nipples against the soft material...my groin responds and I start to grow.
Clearly, I have an insatiable appetite for her body...which is why I am partly obsessed with her.
"Uhm..so, last night.." she murmurs, drawing her knees to her chest and drawing her lips in.
"Yeah?" I sit down and start taking out my shoes, still with their intention of going for a shower...perhaps if I am fast enough, I will still find her in bed, wearing it.
"I wasn't all weepy and self loathing, was I?" she asks.
"Because I am not that kind of girl who sits around feeling sorry for her..I have a great life...and I am not..."
"Sienna..." I cut her off after successfully taking my shoes off to give her my full attention.
"You are allowed to feel overwhelmed sometimes....You've been through a lot and it's real."
She opens her mouth to speak but I cut her off.
"You don't have to be strong for me...you need to allow yourself to feel the pain sometimes...process it...you will lose your mind otherwise..and I kind of like your mind as it is." I say.
She takes a deep breath and exhales.
"Besides...I kind of like you weepy and self loathing..it allows me to be a knighting in shinning armor, sweeping in to save you with my unconditional love." I say with a wink and she smiles.
"Right."
"Right." we lock eyes.
The bed shifts when she moves closer...and puts her hand on my shoulder, but I catch it, keeping her at bay.
"I am all sweaty baby, let me shower first...."
"I can see that." She kisses the back of my head and my neck that I'm sure is salty from sweat.
"Sienna" I tilt my head away.
My clothes are somewhat drenched in sweat, my skin shinny from it.. I smell from it too. but she shifts and throws one leg over my thighs and straddles, sitting on my lap.
"Sienna." I breath, holding the small of her back.
She brings her mouth to mine, her fingers sinking into the roots of my hair that's wet from sweat.
I'm hesitant at first...but her tongue seeks mine, coaxing, enticing me until we are kissing passionately and my fingers are running through her hair to deepen the kiss.
She hums...a sign of how much she is enjoying the kiss...our closeness, and grinds her body against my groin..I hum too.
My self control is slowly snapping.
Tagging at the bottom of my half drenched shirt, she pulls up.
Fuck it!
I raise my arms up to let her take it off, then drop my hands to her thighs, caressing her from her hips to the point where her socks begin and all the way down to her knees and back again, then my fingers start to glide up her waist until I am cupping her breasts in my hand.
She moans and starts to move even more sensually on my lap, positing the cleft of her sex on the hard ridge of my erection...she moves along the length, back and forth.
I can feel her wetness even through the material of my pants and pause kissing her to enjoy the sensation.
But I want more. I need more.
I lift her night gown up, not intending to take it off completely, but just enough to take one perky breast into my mouth.....the softness, the texture....her reaction....it's heaven.
I lift my hips up with my palms on the bed and she takes the hint, pulling my jokers down my thighs until they are hanging just below my knees...I kick them off and spread my feet to gain more stability.
Raising up on her knees, she positions herself above me, until we are touching ever so lightly..I feel her wet heat against my throbbing crown, equally dripping with my own arousal.
I'm ready..I need her now, not a moment longer.
But she teases me with the little promise of sweetness that lies between her legs, her fingers wrapping tightly around me, gliding my engorged tip back and forth against her folds, circling me around the wet heat of her core.
I bite her bottom lip with impatience.
"Oui" she tug her lip between her teeth and wraps her arms around my neck.
Closing her eyes, she moans her surrender as she impales herself on rigid shaft, wriggling her hips to take more of me, and for a few seconds, I am entranced by her shameless expression of pleasure.
"Ahh." She moans again, taking me in completely as I stretch her wide...I feel her thighs quiver when she spreads them wider and arcs her back to accommodate me more easily.
Then her eyes open and meets mine, her lips slightly opening as she pants for air. She's never looked more perfect than she does now...I cup her face and slide my tongue between her parted lips, tasting her, stealing her breath away.
"Does it feel as good for you as it does for me?" she asks, moving up and down slowly.
"Oh, baby, I can't get enough of you, that's how good it feels."
I notice the mirror and how I can see us in it, then get an idea.
Lifting her off my lap, I ignore her protests and turn her around so that she is still sitting on my lap, but facing away from me, and without the sexy shirt....I want her completely bare except for the socks
I view her through the mirror, noticing how she looks like a goddess when she owns this position, folding her legs on my thighs and throwing her head back on my shoulder, her fingers guiding me back inside her again.
"Do you feel that? how perfectly I fill you?"
"Look." I say, and she looks forward, her eyebrows furrowing at herself in the mirror, taking me in so greedily..It excites her, and I feel her walls clench around me.
"This is where you belong, with me....don't you ever doubt that." I say, palming her from her neck to the little sensitive nub above the point our bodies are joined.
I let her move against me..letting her set the rhythm for her own climax.....her breathing increases, bids of sweat forming on her forehead as she rides me.
I groan too, breathing heavily against her neck while she bathes me in her sweetness.
Tossing her head back, she starts to move more frantically, her hair bouncing along with her breasts, while she supports herself by placing her hands on my thighs to give her thrust.
There is nothing more alluring than a good girl getting nasty in bed....and right now Sienna sounds nothing like her well put together self.
With a hooded gaze, I watch her climax.... watch the way her breasts swell, her nipples tightening, her stomach contracts, her thighs trembling while her core contracts around me, squeezing and creaming all over me...until her body completely slackens against me.
Wrapping an arm around her waist, I support her weight even as her fingers softly turn my face to hers and she gives me a body weakening kiss, slow and deep, sucking on my tongue, drinking from me, all the while her core is still twitching and clenching around my me.
She clings closer to my body, stopping to kiss the underside of my jaw, my neck, even when we are both now drenched in sweat, her tongue rakes just below my ear.
"Fuck..what are you doing?" I ask, grabbing a fist full of hair.
Trying to suck my soul out of me?
"Stop that." I say, trying to break from her spell. No matter how good it felt, I need to get a little bit of control back.
I stand up and turn around, then move up the bed with her beneath me...Spreading her legs, my mouth opens and closes over her sensitive core, lapping at her juices, teasing and sucking on her until she moans and squirms, raking her fingers through my hair, and attempting to suffocate me with her thighs.
I move up her body, her hands coming down my back but I move them up.
"Hold on to that." I say, placing her fingers near the headboard.
"Don't let it go." I say and she nods.
"I want to take you somewhere today, before we head for camp." I say, completely digressing from the task at hand.
"Where?"
"Ahh" she tosses her head back when I thrust hard and deep inside her and stay there.
"I can't tell you yet, it's a surprise." I mumble, and lower my head against hers briefly when the sensation hits and the pleasure rolls through me.
No matter what positions we take, this will always be my favorite one....her comfortable and flat on her back facing me..and me on top of her....She always looks so vulnerable in this position and I love dominating her like this, but only because I can take care her..I can give her what she wants even when she doesn't know she wants it yet....I get off from watching her face contort with pleasure..knowing that I am doing that to her.
She feels incredibly good and love seeing her feel the same way about me without having to say anything.
"When I die, this is where I want to be buried." I say and she laughs, like a real genuine laugh that makes her body shake beneath me.
I would have never imagined that there would ever be a situation where I would be balls deeps inside her and she would be laughing so unreservedly , but here we are.
"I will put it in my will."
"You are insane." she says, pulling my head down by my neck, in order to offer me one of those heart warming kisses that are threatening to unman me.
"Hands up here." I repeat, and this time, pin her hands together with one of my own.
This time, I drive slowly inside her....curling an arm around her waist to pull her towards me with each forward thrust.
Her eyes close and her lips part, inviting mine to take hers.
The room fills up with the sounds of our kisses, the throaty moans and groans of uninhibited pleasure, the sound of my pelvis slapping against the back of her thighs as each stroke scratches an itch that doesn't seem to let up.
I let her hands go and kiss her breasts. I am close and I warn her, in return, she wraps her legs around my waist, pulling me in deeper with the heels of her foot against my buttocks.
"Don't stop." she whispers, close to her own climax.
Not sure I can wait much longer, I end each thrust with a grind.
It works..and she comes apart, taking me with her....I love filling her, knowing it could get her pregnant....I pour myself empty, until we are both panting for air.
"Look at me." I urge her as I pull my head back from her shoulder to look at her.
Her eyes flutter open, and she brings her thumb to her mouth slightly chewing on her nail.
Her body is still trembling beneath me and I hold her tighter.
"Sometimes I feel like I ruined your life when I came into it....like I am the twisted and broken one for you....but no matter how hard it gets between us...no matter how bad things become for us....forgive me, because I can never let you go Sienna...I couldn't take it again." I say.
"If things ever turn so bad and all I had was this, these moments with you like you, being with you, touching you, making love to you... it would be enough for me...it would be worth it....we are worth it...tell me you see that."
Her finger tips brush my face, her lip quivering.
"I see it."
Closing my eyes, I rest my head in the crevice of her neck....I am aware of my weight on her...so I stay like that for a few minutes, before turning on my back and pulling her along with me so that she is lying mostly on top of me.
"I love you so much." I vaguely hear her whisper on my chest.
"I would go through everything all over again just to be with you again." she says,
"Mhhmmm...everything?" I repeat, my eyes still closed and mind drifting off into a dreamy fog.
"Everything." she repeats, kissing the center of my chest while her hand wonders south.
"Woman! do you not tire?" I ask and she laughs softly.
"Of having you? never." she admits and I smile.
"Stop staring." I say, feeling her gaze even without opening my eyes.
"Ok." She says, but I can still feel her looking.
I open my eyes and she has her hand flat on my chest, with her chin resting on it.
"What are you thinking?" I ask her.
"This ought to be one of my favorite things..us like this." she says.
"One of them...the other things being?"
"You on top of me." and I thought I was insatiable.
I sit up abruptly and swiftly turn her over on her back and crawl back on top of her.
She giggles and squeals..the sound filling the room again.
These little moments between us, they make everything worth it.
A/N: Merry Christmas everybody.
Xoxoxoxo