The phrase "blood god" in the Shadow Tongue was a word so terrible, so macabre that even the dark lords tended to avoid its use. Instead, they would say "blood god" in English with a shadow accent. The true version required making a sound so terrible that it felt like you had unleashed the sound of hell itself from your mouth. To hint at the sound, to the mortal ear, it seemed to contain the sound of wailing babies being crushed by cloven hooves. It was deep, like the last exhausted cry of a whale who, at the impact of a harpoon, knew its bitter fate. There was a guttural roar, as if a lion had been thrown into a fire pit to die. It cluttered your mouth with dissonant vowels, as if you were simultaneously uttering every foul word in every language ever spoken. The word itself was so horrendous that once spoken, it left you for a moment feeling soulless, and it would bring a cold, spidery-fingered fist tightening around your heart. It was said that frequent repetition of the word would drive a non-believer mad, and there was a casual violence to the word that dissuaded even the strongest from wanting to test the idea.
As I continued to read, I found that the nightmarish word I had been taught was not the blood god's true name. Speaking the true name to an unbeliever was considered blasphemy, and the punishment for uttering it was death. When I asked which party would be killed, the speaker or the listener, Mary had answered both. As a nonbeliever, I was not permitted to read any religious text, and I was pleased not to. Perhaps Mary was trying to avoid looking over those words, but she told me that the pages of the vampire bible, the Book of Erebus, were written on cured human skin.
Mary recovered quickly from her draining and was up and back to work by the week's end. I returned to my studies. Mary began to teach me to read more English, and she was right; with only 26 letters and no words that felt like they would make you spew forth your own vocal cords, I learned quickly. My knowledge of the Shadow Tongue was good enough to read some of the histories of the coven of the Meridian. The coven had a long history reaching far back in time. There was talk of purges that happened in the 15th century. In them, I found a passing reference to a 'wild talker' or a 'wind walker,' the details of which were in the Book of Tethdalus. It made me want to walk into the temple, except the temple was off-limits to those who did not believe in the blood god. I was not allowed to join, as this would require the brand of Savage Absolution, which would break the Duke's promise. So, this became my plan: I would look for the book during the Feast of Fools, to which the Duke had already invited me.
I began to familiarize myself with the writing in religious texts I was permitted to read so that I could quickly read the Book of Tethdalus in the temple if I had the chance. It felt that religious texts struggled not to be read by a non beliver.
Then I heard that word had been sent out. The Feast of Fools had been declared off-limits to the uninitiated. Given that initiation involved the taking of blood, I was effectively the only one excluded. Even the viands could go, but not me. Apparently, the High Priestess and her deputy had consulted the stars and decided on this minor exclusion. I discovered that Electra held the role of deputy priestess and lost my surprise.
I was determined to sneak in despite my apparent ban. Making my desire plain, Mary relented. The Feast of Fools was a masked event, so I might pass as another low familiar. For entry, she relied on the guards not being diligent enough to check the brand. She made me promise that if we encountered the wrong guard, I would have to be disappointed.
The Feast of Fools was a celebration of the life before the fall. For it, we would need new special clothes like the ones people wore before the fall. Mary bought mine in secret, and for once, I wouldn't have to wear a corset. The thin dress she got me showed a great deal of skin, and I knew I would freeze. I could see why the vampires found them attractive. The dress was a bright red, which Mary said was a color from the time before, when people didn't wear the dark, sullen colors the vampires preferred or a the pale natural dyes of the town folk.
Later, at the full moon, I approached the temple. I wore the scarlet dress that Mary had told me flexed perfectly for dancing. It stood out, but red was a popular color that night. My hair was covered with a black wig, making me look like most of the familiars. I also covered my silver collar with a scarf, a common practice to hide the marks of feeding. I knew Mary would help, partly because she owed me, and partly because I had seen myself in the temple filled with moving lights and people in strange clothes in a vision.
We left my rooms and merged with the crowd and walked to the temple. I joined the line waiting to enter and stood behind Mary.
Mary had explained that it was an occasion where everyone, by convention, was equal. Everyone wore masks, and all the formal rules were off for the night. I felt curiously anonymous behind the mask covering my cheeks and face. I had let Mary make my face up like the familiars and the vampires. Hopefully, tonight I would blend in more.
As I watched, I smelled burning flesh. Looking around, I noticed a small group of viands near a large wooden casket the height of a man. They were taking part in the Stygian baptism. They would walk up some steps and hold out their hands to be cut by someone in priestly clothing, and their blood would be collected in the casket. Then, naked, they would walk down steps into a blood bath until fully submerged. After rising from the bath, their bodies dripping with red blood, they would surrender to another priestess who would ritually feed from them. Finally, they would present their flesh and receive the brand of the believer, something called the brand of savage absolution. Then they could enter the temple. They were quite far away, and there was a lot of incense burning, mixing with the smell of tainted flesh. The sight was blocked by a crimson choir. It was clear that the choir was ritually intoning the words from the Book of Erebus in a choral drone.
Back in the line, my eye was caught by the clothing everyone was wearing. Skirts were short, tight, and brightly colored. Smiles flashed as for one night, everything could be forgotten.
"I never thought people would go to church showing so much skin," I whispered to Mary as we approached the temple. Everyone was dressed in such bright colors, and they all wore half masks.
Mary explained that the temple guard was called a Draga. We reached the head of the line, and one looked at Mary and nodded, saying, "General," recognizing the lower half of Mary's face under the mask. Mary corrected him, "Just madam," and then gestured toward me, saying, "She's with me," before turning the corner and disappearing into the next stage.
I moved forward and looked up at the guard. He looked at me and stated, "No unbelievers," casually indicating the lack of a tattoo or brand of savage absolution.
I needed to get in and see the Book of Tethdalus. Only it could explain what my voices meant.
"Surely you want to let me in?" I said, knowing I had been practicing on my cat Vlad when alone. Sending it from one place to another was hypnotic, much like looking at the flames of a fire. I could do it for hours if undisturbed. There was a deep satisfaction gained from it. I didn't want to use this, but I wanted to be let in.
"Tonight is going to be so fun. What do the vamps say?" I said, looking up and using my voices. "Ott mori araa dicht, you know I'm sure you want to let me in."
The guard hardly paused and nodded with his chin toward a table.
"Queue over there for your drops," he said, pointing to where Mary had gone. "Have a good night. Next"
Smugly, I moved forward. There was no ticket for entry, but I had been warned that the ritual required each person to have two drops of venom. I knew venom was bad for me, so I had been cutting down. This was the price of entry, and I had suffered through a month of reading lessons. I felt I kind of deserved it, just for tonight. I leaned my head back as one of the temple girls gave me my chemical absolution. For a second, I felt like I saw an unfamiliar bedroom, but then in another flash, I also saw people fighting in the coven, Mary bleeding. Shaking my head, I moved to catch up with Mary.
The massive vampire temple entryway served as a striking reminder of the vampiric culture's formidable might and ancient ancestry. The great stone archway loomed like a dark, menacing mouth, beckoning both the inquisitive and the devoted, shrouded in an uncanny atmosphere of mystique.
The archway, carved from the darkest obsidian, exuded an otherworldly horror driven by its complex, sinuous designs that appeared to writhe and twist like serpents. Grotesque and somehow alluring, gargoyles clung to the walls of the arch, their stone eyes tracking anyone passing beneath them with strange, keen alertness.
Twin torches flanked the entrance, casting flickering, blood-red light upon the throngs of people entering the temple. The flames danced with a hypnotic rhythm, lending an eerie ambiance to the scene. The air was heavy with a potent blend of exotic incense, filling the senses and dulling the outside world.
As people filed through the imposing stone portal, their faces displayed a mix of reverence and trepidation.. The grandeur of the temple entrance seemed to absorb their emotions, amplifying their anticipation as they ventured deeper into the sacred space.
The heavy doors, adorned with intricate bas-reliefs depicting scenes from vampiric lore, closed with a resounding thud behind each entrant, sealing them within the sanctuary of the vampire temple. Here, amidst the shadows and secrets, the faithful gathered to pay homage to their immortal deities and partake in the enigmatic rituals that bound their kind together through the ages.
We walked through the arches of the temple. Inside, the ceiling was supported by statues of naked bodies, and occult markings covered the floor. The whole place throbbed with movement. A seething, roaring crowd of carnally twisted flesh moved around me.
"It wasn't an understatement when you said vampires worship sex," I said, looking at the couples of all natures kissing.
Mary smiled. "No, I said they worship with sex," she said as we moved towards the strange music playing in the distance.
"What's that wall of noise?" I asked, pointing at the thunderous sound emerging from the hall. You could feel it in your chest, and I worried it might be harmful.
"It's the music," said Mary.
"That's music? It's so loud. How many musicians do they have? It sounds like there's a giant in there playing the drums," it really didn't sound like any music I had heard before.
"No, it's machine music. This is called Go by Moby. This is what music sounded like before the fall. It hits your chest, makes you feel it in your hips. This is what makes it the Cathedral of the Flesh. Once, the coven controlled many such places where people danced all night."
Mary lifted her hands above her head and shook her hips. The long dress swayed to the motion, and I followed suit.
Masks on, we walked into the hall together. As we moved, my perception of time blurred forward and backward. I thought I heard someone say, 'Then dance with me, beautiful,' but when I looked around, I couldn't see anyone close enough to have said it.
We entered the Hall of Flesh. The mechanical music was fast, hard, and burrowed deep into my body, moving me. It might have been the drink, the mask, or the joy of the company, but I felt free. Around me was a carnal ocean, with every viand, submissive, slave, and familiar in the coven present.
Mary went through the ball rules one last time.
"Now, remember, once in the ball, we all become equals. There are no Masters, no familiars, no slaves. Everybody wears a mask, so there's a pretense that you don't know who you're talking to, whether they're a Lord or a slave. You can do what you like."
"What do you mean, 'do what I like'?"
"The normal rules don't apply. Everybody is allowed to pretend that they don't know each other's identities. Cub might bump into a complete stranger and just happen to let slip what a terrible mistress she has. And if that complete stranger happens to be you or me, we can't use it to punish her later because we have to pretend we don't know it's her."
So, it was a way to let off steam without breaking the rigid rules of power between masters and servants.
"I don't think I would know Cub if you dragged her down and covered her in chocolate and said, 'Here she is, the brown one,'" I said, looking around.
"To your left, being approached by the man with black curly hair next to the column," said Mary.
I looked at the girl that Mary had pointed out. She was dancing with the young, well-built man in front of her with black curly hair.
"He's going to feed off her," I said, sensing it.
Mary shrugged. "I think that's Thame. Well," She said "we are all equal, so he's going to have to ask her permission and take her in the temple limits. She can say no. He has to respect her."
"Or worse, she can say yes. I'm not sure I know how to act equal," I shouted.
Mary looked over. "Well perhaps you could do with the practice."
There was someone on a stage moving and weaving, surrounded by more of Satan's lights. This was a fireworks show of colored lights. It added to the hypnotic feel of the night. Above the musician were the words 'Club Submission' in more lights.
Mary knew people and said hello. She flirted with some of the men. I heard some of them call her Bloody Mary behind her back. If she heard them, she didn't let them know she had.
We walked to a table, where there were glasses filled with beer, others with fermented apples. Mary gave me one, and she drank one herself.
I looked around and noticed what looked to be a doorway marked 'scriptorium'. Saying I would be back, I slipped in. I was right; this was a library of sorts, except the books were attached with chains to the wall. There was space you could pull one out and read it but you had to kneel to do so. The room was empty, and I ran around looking for the Book of Tethdalus. Quickly, I found it, my mind feeling a pure focus once again. I asked the book's permission to open it and then, looking around quickly, began flicking through page by page. Then, I could hear voices outside the scriptorium. A woman was persuading a reluctant man to come inside. I sat down on the floor behind a desk. I could hear the woman and the man negotiating, the music blaring over their voices. I didn't have much time left. Then, there was a movement. He decided to follow her into the scriptorium, and at the same moment, I found the page I was looking for. I had to leave and then committed a deadly sin - I ripped the page out, folded it, and hid it on me.
The man and the woman entered the room, and I had to leave, crawling out of sight. I met up with Mary, who had been queuing at a bar for more drink.
"Here, you're not a princess, just a woman. Drink as much as you want," she said and handed me one. Trust Vampire drinks to be made from something old and fermented. Back home, I was never allowed to drink. My family were afraid it might loosen my voices. I was told it was unseemly for a woman to drink.
We looked around, and the crowd was getting packed. You could smell the beer. You saw the occasional trickle of blood on someone's neck or wrist. Mary nodded her head in time with the music, and the world began to dance around me.
"Let me show you what equal means," said Mary. She handed me her glass. She strutted up to two men, chose the first one, grabbed his face, and said, "Kiss me!" She pulled him closer to her and began kissing him. I was in a state of shock and started to giggle. As soon as the kiss ended, Mary pulled away.
"Save that for me," she said while she walked nonchalantly off. The men laughed, and Mary smirked.
"You do it. I dare you," said Mary, slinking next to me.
I looked around at the crowd around us. "Their flesh here was close, uncompromisingly libidinous," I said in the black tongue. I got a couple of odd looks. They thought I was a vampire.
"You're only free for six hours in one year. I can't believe you're waiting for something. It's time to release your inner wild child, show me your fangs," said Mary.
"OK then," I said and walked up to a group of women. Choosing the most beautiful, I grabbed her and said, "Kiss me!". Then, before the woman could say anything, I kissed her. A second later, I found the girl kissing back. I pulled away. "Save that for me," I said, walking away.
I smiled the challenge back to Mary. The beer and the venom must have taken me completely. Mary was in a state of complete hysterical shock and couldn't stop laughing. Away in the ball, eyes followed me, eyes belonging to men consumed by desire.
We walked past two men, naked from the waist up, one had the bold mark of Lady Abachz's personal stock.
"Hi," said Mary, "I'm Kia, this is Calisi."
"This is Fix," said, pointing to himself, "that is Fast."
"You belong to Abachz?" I said, looking at the muscles in his extensive shoulders.
The man smiled."Not tonight." He said you could hear the venom rolling through his veins in his voice.
"She has very good taste," I said.
Mary teased the man who called himself Fix to the dance floor. I was unsure of the music; it did sway like a viper, but I didn't know if I could dance well to it. The venom and the drink were beginning to cloud my mind. I felt myself kissing Fast.
"I want to sample you," said Fast, his body against mine. I knew what that meant; he wanted to bite me. I held his arm. He opened his mouth; I could see his white fangs, and the stock mark was just a black pencil rubbing under his thumb.
"It's too early," I said, seeing how the others moved when close to the music, "dance with me."
"You want to. You want me too," said Fast, rubbing his lips over my neck.
"No, not here," I said, trying to signal Mary.
I knew he might discover my silver collar and guess. Enough people knew I was forbidden there he might expose me. If I was smart I would leave the party perhaps it was the venom but tonight I was not smart. I just wanted some fun.
"You want to come outside with me," said Fast. He grabbed my wrist. I started to panic; he could easily pull me out of there. I could use my voice but with the noise of the music I was not sure it would work.
Suddenly, Fast was pushed aside. It was a blur of movement. Another equally large man in a mask stood in front of him. Fast got up off the floor. They both snarled at each other, fangs bared.
"Give up; that is not yours," the first one said in the shadow tongue. I found myself in a small bubble, thinking that if I did not know the shadow tongue, then I would just think they were snarling at each other.
The vampire Fast stood, fangs extended, positioned and ready to fight. His naked, rugged chest supported a large tattoo of a snake down his side. In a flash, Fast got up again, and the other vampire twisted his arm and then bit his neck. Fast staggered away, and the new man grabbed me.
"Come with me," he ordered, pulling me away.
The vampire pulled me into a dense forest of pillars to a quieter part of the temple.
"You're drunk," he told me.
"He broke the rules," I said. "He is supposed to ask."
"For the Vampyre there are no rules. Only occasionally obedience to a master, and this is not the night of obedience," he said. The vampire wedged me between his large body and the hard pillar pinning me there.
"Why do you care?" I said. "You're not the Duke, are you?" It didn't quite sound like him; he seemed more animal than Lord at the moment. A creature of instinct, not politics.
"I am not the Duke. The Duke cannot love, only honor. I feel nothing but desire. "
"Well take your mask off," I said.
"No, no, no, my mask is my freedom," said the man. Though he appeared to be the Duke from his voice, I couldn't be certain he wasn't impersonating him. He reached over and picked up the scarf around my neck, noticing the collar.
"Why don't you take the collar off?" he asked, lowering the scarf. He clearly knew who I was and that I was breaking the rules by being there. This behavior didn't seem characteristic of the gentlemanly Duke.
The vampire began to dance, starting with small movements. His subtle sways showed that he was being drawn in by the beat. He moved gracefully, like a professional dancer, synchronizing with the distant rhythm.
"Not yet," I replied, keeping my gaze fixed on him.
"Are you tired of your life?" the vampire asked. I observed him closely as if he were a serpent, and perhaps I subconsciously mirrored his movements in my own small way.
"Tired of what?" I inquired.
"Tired of the monotony, the endless repetition. Tired of pretending to be someone you're not," he continued. "Tired of everything around you. Tired of being the good girl. Have you ever caught yourself daydreaming about running away?"
"I'm not sure..." I began to say.
As he spoke, he began to move his hips. I shrugged, and he extended his hand, which I hesitantly took. We started to sway together.
"Let your limits fade into the night," he urged, moving more rhythmically and dancing around me. If I moved in time with him, it was entirely subconscious. "Break the rules. Show me what you feel," he continued as we both moved in harmony. His voice as hypnotic as the music.
"Come with me." He said, "Kiss the razor's edge."
We moved closer and began to sway more, creating a rich and synchronous symphony of two.
"Cut the ties," he urged. "Step into the darkness, where the world is painted with the shades of desire and freedom."
His gaze lingered on the collar. I knew he wanted me to take it off. We continued to dance, the beat saturating my soul. I gazed into his captivating eyes and reached behind my head.
"Embrace the unknown," he whispered. "Let go of your doubts and come with me. We'll leave it all behind, and you'll discover a world you never knew existed."
I undid the silver collar and let it fall from my hand to the floor. I was vulnerable now. My neck felt cold, the weight of it lifted from my shoulders. An electric pulse coursed through me, sending a tingling sensation throughout my body.
As the man who was not the Duke but knew his mind spoke, my mind raced through all colors and all shades of emotion, from confusion to clarity, from clarity to revelation, from revelation to elation. I was unsure and certain. Perhaps it was one of those moments not to feel with uncertainty but to act in unshakeable hope.
"Then dance with me, beautiful," I said in the dark tongue, pulling him away to the dance floor.