The sun was all set. It was morning. A new day has started but nothing was new for her. Whole night she wasnt able to sleep. The incident played in her mind on and on. She wanted to run away from him. She wanted to hide from him. She can't face him again. She was terrified now.
She didnt know why but she missed the old Irtaza, which was kind, caring and listened to all her demands and wishes. He had made her see heaven in the last two weeks of her life. She might have developed a liking towards him if Daniyal wasnt in her heart.
Daniyal
Her thoughts were messed up. She was extremely worried about his life. She had no idea how Daniyal will be able to escape Irtaza's captivity and this thought was haunting her more that what Irtaza would be doing to Daniyal. Irtaza's shirt was quite bloodied last night. Her life was totally crumbled. She wanted to get out of this mess.
And Irtaza's demand was a cherry on top. Last night she had answered him with a yes but with this thought was on her mind that she'll be escaping him, or telling everyone about him. But the latter option was a big fail.
She came to know about what power he held. He was the head, the 'sardar' of haveli and no member could question his direct order. And the smugness and confidence she saw in his form, made it all clear to her that he wont let her go.
She was still thinking about Haseeb's advice. First she was in a dilemma that whether she should confront Irtaza and tell him that now she'll love her uncondionally, forget Daniyal and stay loyal to him or not but after last night, she had decided to run away from him the first oppurtunity she gets.
Still she didnt know why there was a slight hope in her heart that she'll run and reunite with Daniyal. Still there was a hope. And after last nights incident she was not able to be with him alone, ever again.
He was so close. He was about to rape her but she was clueless what made him change his decision. But with this action of his, she knew she was not able to love him. So Haseeb's advise was dropped out of her options. She cant promise something to Irtaza which she's not able to do. She cant love him, rather she was extremely fearful of him.
She knew she was being extremely stupid by thinking that she'll be able to escape him but her messed up circumstances was making her do all of these things. She was just thinking. She knew this all cant turn into reality. She'll never be able to escape him but she wanted to be hopeful to give a slight comfort to her heart that there is still a hope.
Her hope was baseless but this baseless hope was providing a little solace to her, keeping her sane.
She thought that wedding night would never happen, that was the only reason for which she said a yes to him. She was clueless why she was denying him. There was no escape from him. Ultimately, she had to do this then why was she denying him? He was her husband after all.
She was numb, too numb to feel anything. She was breaking, everything was falling apart, her plan had failed but still she was hopeful.
Hopeful that a miracle will happen.
A knock on the door broke her trance amd she immediately cleared her tears which were flowing down and her mother entered into her room.
She was worried about something, her face showed it all to Zahra.
"What happen Mama? Why you look worried?"
"I'm worried for you daughter." She answered sitting beside her.
"For me? What has happened to me mama?"
"Zahra why you didnt tell me about your nikkah?"
"Mama Irtaza had refrained me from doing so. He had strictly prohibited me to telling about our nikkah to anyone. Not even you mama. I asked that I can tell you or not but he denied me. Thats why I didnt tell you. I'm sorry mama." She lied, she didnt want to worry her mother. And if she'll tell her about her present circumstances, she knew she cant save her from him so she find no use of telling her all the truth other than worrying her unnecessarily.
"And when did your nikkah happen?"
"On the night of our engagement" she lied again, gulping down all her feelings and emotions which were compelling her to tell her mother about everything and cry in her warm embrace. She was tired of facing everything alone.
"And why Irtaza had prohibited you from studying further?"
"No mama there isnt anything like that. I talked to him last night, he told me I can continue my studies after the marriage."
"Why was he being rude and cold towards you on the table?"
"It was not only with me. He was being rude to everyone. Actually...he was disturbed over something last night that was why he was being a bit off but later he realised his mistake and said a sorry to me."
"Zahra, are you happy? I'm atill unable to digest that you both did nikkah without the elders involvement."
"Yes Mama I'm absolutely happy. Dada was present there as a witness. Irtaza told me that night it was no use of prolonging the engagement and after the consultation of Dada we did a nikkah."
"Where and when?"
"He took me to a....mosque. it was almost 2am at that time." Her voice wavered.
"Zahra-"
"Mama why're you worrying yourself the nikkah was to be done in any case and I am happy, extremely happy. Why're you tiring yourself? There is nothing to worry about." She tried to assure her but her mother was still looking at her with suspicion.
"No Zahra. There is something wrong. You're lying to me. You dont seem happy to me. Your eyes are telling me another story."
Her brown eyes became teary within seconds. Her mother had guessed it, there was something wrong with her but she cant tell her the whole story. It will make her mother more helpless. When she'll see her mother trying hard to free her from Irtaza's clutches but still not able to make it, it would break Zahra's heart. She didnt want her mother to feel helpless.
"I will miss you." She whispered, clearing her tear away.
Her throat clogged painfully with tears. She was about to break down.
"And baba too." She cried out, her voice shake and then she broke down into sobs. Her head fell into her mothers lap as she begin to sob loudly.
"Mama!" Her voice hitched, "Mama! Why Baba left us?! Why Baba left me alone?! Why Allah took my Baba away from me?!" She sobbed badly making her mother cry too.
They both tightly hugged each other and for a moment all the worries of Zahra faded away. She felt safe and protected in her mothers embrace.
After having a small heart to heart talk with her mother, her mother left the room and she went to shower getting ready for the day.
..........
Everyone was present at the dining table, discussing about the upcoming wedding, engaged in a deep conversation. Zahra was sitting beside Irtaza. Her nerves were on high alert. After last night, she didn't has enough courage to be anywhere near him.
He was too close. Just a second away.
This thought was making her shudder. She tried shrug it off when suddenly Dua, Haya and Haseeb rushed into the dining room.
"Assalam Alaikum" they said with union and rushed towards the table grabbing anything for breakfast.
"Mama why you didn't wake me up on time. I had a very important class today and guess what I am already late. Wow." Haseeb hurriedly said, grabbing the jug and pouring juice into ghe glass.
"You're going college with this face?" His mother asked pointing towards his blue and red face.
"Absolutely mother. I cant change my face and why would I do that after all I am the most handsomest person." Haseeb joked.
"Bro mother is saying your face is blue and red. Everyone will get afraid." Haya said.
"Who cares? I still look handsome."
"You done flattering yourself. Now we three are getting late for university and I think we should leave by now." Dua interuppted, taking the glass of juice from his hand.
"Ughh...let me drink."
"Allah hafiz everyone." She said and dragged him outside.
Zahra looked at them. Her head was turned, as she stared at them. They were laughing and enjoying themselves.
She felt a sudden tug at her heart.
How free they are and how caged she is.
They've no worries, no sorrows, they're free like birds, they can do whatever they want to, they can study freely, they've no restrictions for going to university. They were so free.
And here she is, her life turned upside down in just a day. Just a day ago she was also free like them but now her wings are clipped. Every basic liberty was taken away from her. She had worries, tensions, sorrows and she had to face them all alone. There was no one to help her. She cant even tell her mother. She had to face Irtaza and his brutuality alone. Everything was shoved upon her. She didnt has the right to state her want. She was so alone and caged unlike them.
Why can't I be like them? She thought.
Irtaza looked at her sad and sorrowful face, her eyes were stucked at a single point as if she was in a deep thought. They were hollow and empty.
He was confused why was he getting affected by her sadness, he should be happy but it was affecting him and he didn't want that. His heart was feeling emotions which he had never felt before. Last night, her tears, her cries, her beggings and the desperateness in her voice made him back off of his actions. And he didn't know why. Why her tears impacted his heart. He should hate her, punish her, after her betrayal.
He was still in love with Zahra. But he didn't want to accept it that he still loves her. He thought that there is only hate for her in his heart, the love is lost somewhere.
At first he only wanted to claim her as his, but then an unusual emotion entered into his heart. Her tears begin to play with his mind and he knew he was falling for her. Last two weeks, he had felt what heaven seems like on earth. Zahra was by his side and that was more than enough for him. he begin to love her truly.
But her betrayal, made him hate her.
And his hate was toxic. Extremely toxic.
And he was not a person to let go betrayal easily. He wanted to punish her to quench the fire in his heart and wanted her to make his. Only his.
He loved her and hated her at the same time.
Her eyes widened and she immediately casted her eyes down on noticing that he's staring at her. She can't meet his eyes, she was terrified of him.
After a short while, Irtaza stood up and left the room, leaving for his office.
"Everything is done. Now we just have to wait for the weekend. Just four days left for rukhsati." Her grandmother announced gathering everyone's attention.
And she was done.
...
Will update the next chapter soon.