Who said it and what's the context?
Vanessa
"Have you gone temporarily insane?"
Those were the words I muttered to myself as I trudged across campus in the swiftly falling flecks of snow. Bundling further into my jacket and blowing into my hands to prevent them from getting frostbite, I passed by a couple strolling arm in arm. Fresh tears pricked the back of my eyelids.
Where was your rational thinking when you decided it would be a splendid idea to leave behind everyone and everything you know?
Most days were spent regretting my decision to study in New York, but I was especially downtrodden since it was Valentine's Day.
"Love is in the air," I grumbled, breezing past them in disgust.
It seemed that no matter where I went, I couldn't escape the romance that lurked around every corner and oozed across my pathways. From boyfriends presenting their girlfriends with rose bouquets to excited chatter consisting of plans for candlelit dinners and even, the moans from the duo who were getting steamy in the co-ed showers.
It was everywhere. And I was fed up.
Screw this bullshit. Valentine's Day is just a made-up commercial holiday that was only invented so greedy corporate companies can keep their profits rolling in after the Christmas spending spree.
And as I sat down at the computer lab to pour over an accounting spreadsheet, I had almost convinced myself that I didn't even want to celebrate it anyway. That is, until a broad-shouldered male wearing a pastel pink shirt surprised his girlfriend with an obnoxiously large teddy bear.
She shrieked with glee, and I instantly cursed Little Tony's Big Pizzeria for scheduling my boyfriend to work on a national and sacred holiday.
Screw this bullshit, I repeated, closing my textbook. Forget homework and essays. I want a romantic dinner and a heart-shaped box of chocolates that I can gorge myself on.
But instead of getting to experience any of that, I settled on having a threesome in my dorm room.
My good pals, Ben and Jerry, whom I had grown to be rather acquainted with, kept me company as tear drops splattered over the framed photograph of Matt and I that I had been cradling. And my spoon had just made contact with the bottom of my pint of Cherry Garcia when the sound of keys jingled in the doorknob.
I quickly scrubbed my face so that Quinn wouldn't catch on to the fact that I had been bawling but my swollen eyelids, the traitors, gave me away in an instant. As she removed her coat, her gaze fell upon me, and she paused. Then furrowing her brows, she planted one hand on her hip.
"That's it," she scolded. "I'm fed up with your constant sobbing, Vanessa. Get up. We're going out."
Striding across the room, she attempted to wrestle the carton of ice cream out of my hands, but I beat her off with the spoon. "No! I'm staying right here in my cozy bed, wrapped up in my warm pajamas."
She narrowed her eyes as she inspected my well-worn lounge wear. "More like tattered and homely."
Then rummaging through my closet, she pulled out a black mini dress and tossed it at my face. "Here, put this on. The first step to feeling better is looking better."
I nudged away the garment with the tip of my toe as though it were contaminated with some deadly disease. "No thanks," I mumbled. "I don't need your fashion coaching. One Addison in my life is enough."
She plopped down on the edge of the bed and grasped my fingers in between hers, a pleading expression on her face. "Just come out for one drink, Vanessa. We can even ask the bartender to make it a strong one."
I shook my head. "I'm all set. I'll feel even worse if I have to battle a hangover tomorrow."
Quinn arched a brow. "As if a crying hangover is any better?"
I thought of the nausea and the intense headache brought upon by hours of weeping and knew that she had a fair point but still chose to snuggle further beneath the covers. "So comfy..." I whispered.
She rolled her eyes just as a knock sounded at the door. She gave me a questioning look, but I only shrugged. "Beats me. I've solidified myself as the town hermit. Do you really think I'm the one to incite any visitors?"
Smiling, she pushed herself off the mattress. "Maybe it's a pizza mix-up again. I've been dying for a slice of pepperoni that's not from the cafeteria."
"Oh my gosh," she squealed, clapping her hands. "It is! I manifested it."
I hid inside my cocoon of blankets as she dealt with the delivery man. "Wait a second..." she murmured. "I know you. You're the guy from that picture."
"Vanessa," she called over her shoulder. "Come out from there. You're going to want to see this."
I gingerly peered over the covers before immediately flinging them off me and leaping out of bed. Barreling towards Matt, who was lazily leaning against the doorframe with a single red rose perched in between his teeth, I proceeded to throw my arms around his neck and smother his cheeks in kisses.
Chuckling, he stumbled backwards before wincing. He pulled the stem from his mouth. "Ouch. Damn thorns." He gestured at the pizza box Quinn was clutching as she stood there staring at us, slack jawed. "Did someone order a large pepperoni?"
"How?" I stuttered.
"Let's just say that my boss agreed to let his star busboy deliver to a customer in New York who was willing to pay a very generous sum to have a taste of the best pizza that Connecticut can offer."
He moved in closer, brushing my hair back from my face. "Happy Valentine's Day, baby," he murmured, nuzzling his nose against mine.
Instantly, I burst into tears.
"Oh no, don't cry," Matt soothed, his voice soft and reassuring. He stroked my tears away with the pads of his thumbs. "This is a happy thing. I couldn't miss my first Valentine's Day with my girlfriend who is even more stunning than I remembered."
I wiped my snotty nose with the sleeve of my sweatshirt, my laugh watery. "You don't have to lie. I say your chances of getting laid tonight are rather high."
He leaned in to place a kiss upon my forehead. "It's the truth. You could be smeared in dirt, and I would still think you're the prettiest girl in the room."
"Aww..." Quinn gushed, cupping her palms. "I want a boyfriend. You two are so sappy cute."
My face went warm upon remembering that my roommate was still present.
She gave me a wink. "I'll just leave you two alone," she chirped with a secretive smile before slinking out the exit.
As soon as the door clicked into place, I mauled Matt with smooches. Then urgently nudging up the hem of his t-shirt, I splayed my fingers on his abs. "God, I forgot how ripped you feel."
He responded by picking me up with a low growl and throwing me over his shoulder. "I could never lose the memory of how you feel. Now, what did you say about me getting laid?"
Matt tossed me onto the mattress before hopping up and positioning himself over me. I tugged at his belt loop, pulling him in even closer. "I think you've earned some sex. I know how much you hate driving through the city."
"You're the only one that I would ever willingly subject myself to traffic for." He moved his mouth down to my chest, pushing up my sweatshirt and planting scorching kisses on my bare breasts.
In an instant, we had shed our clothing and held each other close, the heat from our naked bodies the only warmth we needed to ward of the chill of loneliness. I clutched onto the bed sheet as he eased himself inside of me.
"I love you so much," he whispered in between thrusts.
My finger tenderly followed the curve of his jawline. "I miss you every single second that you aren't here." A lone tear slipped down my cheek, and he paused.
"Don't stop." I grasped onto his shoulders, guiding him in deeper. We continued our synchronized movements, hips meeting hips and within minutes, we both climaxed into an orbit of ecstasy.
Rolling over, Matt gazed at me, and I snuggled my head into the crook of his shoulder. "Do you want to talk about it?" He asked.
"I think I made a colossal mistake by coming to New York," I choked out, the stream of tears steadily falling once I had opened the floodgates.
He caressed the inside of my wrist with his thumb. "Vanessa, you dreamed of escaping the small town for something bigger. You wanted to experience the thrills that only a city such as Manhattan could offer. Didn't you once confess to me that you didn't know who you were and what your interests are? Don't you think that this is your time to find out?"
Exhaling, I slowly nodded. "But I've been so miserable ever since coming here that I haven't even had a chance to discover a path that may lead me to the answers. The only thing that I've become sure of, is how much I need you to function."
Matt's body stiffened at the admission. "V, I don't want to be the person that holds you back from evolving into the real you. It breaks my heart seeing you sad all the time."
With a sniffle, I shifted away so that my back was turned towards him. Then curling my legs up into a fetal position, I hugged them to my chest. "I'm fine. You're not preventing me from doing any of that."
He blew out a breath as he dragged his hands down his face. "You just stated how depressed you are. And I can't help but feel as though I'm responsible for a large part of that. You're so focused on how much you miss me and waiting for that next opportunity for us to be together that I feel as though our relationship is robbing you of your college experience."
My blood suddenly coursing cold through my veins, I narrowed my eyes. "What are you saying?" I spat out with venom.
He muttered a swear word beneath his breath before sitting up. "This is going to shatter me, and I honestly cannot believe I'm about to utter these words but in the long run, I think you'll be better for it."
My body began trembling violently as a tidal wave of hot tears spilled over my cheeks. "Just come out with it, Matt!" I shouted, my voice hoarse.
But I already knew where the conversation was heading.
The anguish on his face evident, he pulled me against his chest in a tight embrace and rocked me. "Vanessa, I'm not doing you any favors by keeping you in a long-distance relationship. You isolate yourself in this dorm room all so that you can spend your hours on the phone with me."
"Can you name the bakery that serves the best cupcakes or describe the way the city lights twinkle at night?" He continued. "Do you even know which subway leads to Times Square? You may feel alright now that you don't know the answers to any of those questions but eventually, you're going to resent that you never set out to do all the things you dreamed about. You're going to resent me."
"That could never happen," I insisted.
I pressed my cheek against his t-shirt, droplets soaking through the fabric as I inhaled his familiar cedarwood scent. The aroma that to me, would always be reminiscent of comfort and home.
He gently removed himself from our hug. "When we began dating," he began. "I swore that I would do whatever it took to make you happy."
He paused to take in a shuddering breath before continuing. "And now, it's clear what I need to do to bring you joy..." His voice hitched on his words as he spoke.
I shook my head vehemently, grasping his hands. "No, please don't do this. I'll transfer to a Connecticut university next fall, and I'll be perfectly content there with you and Addison by my side."
Matt smiled sadly. "You see, you said the word content. I don't want you to just be content, Vanessa. I want you to be excited and looking forward to whatever new adventure awaits you. Right now, you're just going through the motions until you can see me again."
"It's my choice, Matt!" I burst out, pointing at myself. "If this is how I choose to live my life then let me."
He nodded. "And you have that right to do whatever suits you but so do I. And the decision I'm making for myself is to break up with you."
Question of the day: Yikes! Who saw that one coming? Do you think Matt made the right decision by breaking up with Vanessa?