Although, Peter thought that filling out the form to be Mr. Stark's personal intern was a useless idea because of the fact his feelings were all over the place, he wouldn't exactly do a bad job helping him around the lab. Surely he won't let anything get in the way.
He knew what he was going to do. He was going to fill out that form.
Reading through all the terms and conditions Peter felt uneasy. Maybe he couldn't do this. Maybe he wasn't cut out to be an intern. No, there isn't any room for cowards. He wasn't going to turn down an opportunity he had an actual chance at. He started to agree to all the terms and conditions. The black ink from his pen filling in boxes.
All he needed to do now was write the reason why he wanted to intern for Tony Stark.
Wait.. I need to write why I want to be Mr. Stark's intern?! Is he gonna read this? If he's reading this- What am I gonna write.. He tapped on his pen a he tried to think. Does anybody really know what would impress the Tony Stark? Or even get close to giving him a reason to choose you as an intern. How would any one even start their reasoning at all. He felt like he was applying to a University with a 1 percent acceptance rate. He started to second guess himself. Does he really have a chance?
Why do I keep thinking so negatively? Why are my thoughts so loud??
His hands reached for his head. Running his fingers through his curls. What is going on with me? Why am I stressing out so much?
He looked down at the form. His fingers gripped onto his hair as his head lowered onto the paper.
The feelings overwhelmed him. Everything overwhelmed him so easily.
Maybe that's why he needed to be Mr. Stark's intern so badly. Maybe if he did he'd have something to distract himself from this horrible place. He'll have a safe place.
His head lifted upwards from the paper with the idea. He knew what he wanted to write about, letting his hand move with the pen as it wrote away..
Peter wakes in a very uncomfortable position. Lifting up his head, he realized he slept right after filling out his intern form. He really has to stop sleeping off like that. If he doesn't stop the habit he might just sleep off in Mr. Stark's lab. He doesn't want to make a bad first impression. Why am I stressing out about this. I haven't even been accepted let alone turned in my form.
He gets up and starts to get ready for the day. Miss Celia is heard yelling from downstairs 'I'm not making breakfast today! Bye children.' The door slam is heard from his bedroom. Atleast he won't have to sit around the table and hear the forks literally grind on the plates. He put on his sweater and slipped on his shoes.
Peter put on his backpack and headed downstairs to see Haisley tying her shoes near the front door. She quickly stood up.
"Hey Peter!" Haisley said giving him a cheeky grin. She looked very happy considering Miss Celia wasn't here, "Miss Celia was nice enough to leave us some money today. She told me to give you this much." Haisley handed him a 15 dollars.
"Thanks. I would ask why she didn't make us breakfast but to be honest I'd rather eat somewhere else than here." Peter uttered, taking the money from her hand and putting it in his pocket.
"Same. All her food is bland and, bleh." Haisley expressed receiving a small giggle from Peter, "Anyways I'm off to school, bye Peter!"
"Bye!" Peter waved as Haisley grabbed her pink backpack and walked out the door.
Peter waded out the door as well heading the oppisite direction. He checked the time as he walked. He was very early he maybe even had enough time to go to the deli and eat breakfast.
So he started heading towards that direction. It took him about 15 minutes speed walking to Delmar's. He put in a smile as he walked in, the little bell on the door rang as it closed behind him.
"Hello Mr. Delmar!" Peter exclaimed picking out some gummies and placing them on the counter.
"Hey Parker, the number five right?" Delmar smiled at him as he spoke.
"Yes please, with pickles, and can you squish it down really flat?"
"You got it." Delmar said, "How's your aunt?"
Peters smile faltered a bit, "She's okay."
At least I hope she is. Maybe she's in a better place now.
Delmar noticed Peters mood swing and he decided not to push any further. Peter walked over to the display shelf towards where the cat was laying down.
"What's up, Murph." Peter whispered gently as he pet the bodega cat. Murph meowed at him and rubbed its head against Peters hand as it ran through the cat's long fur.
"You've gotten fluffier." Peter smiled. He walked back to the register. Delmar placed the sandwich into a paper bag and placed it on the counter along with Peters gummies and bottle of water.
"Ten dollars and 30 cents." Delmar spoke. Peter handed him the money and Delmar gave him the change.
"Thank you!" Peter called out as he made his way towards the door.
"You're welcome."
Peter walked out and started to make his way to school. He took out the sandwich he just bought and started to eat it.
His morning was going alright so far. It was better than a morning eating breakfast with Miss Celia. She could go to work early each morning and it would make Peters life easier.
Maybe she shouldn't come back home at all.
What am I thinking? This is totally messed up. Miss Celia is a bad person but she doesn't deserve that.. He shook away the thoughts and he threw away the wrapping that came with the sandwich as he finished it. He looked at the time in his phone. He would make it to school in time.
Usually he'd be late when he bought something from Delmar's. But he was surprisingly early. He might even have time to see Ned and Mj at school before the first bell rang. He reached his hand into his pocket and felt the bag of gummies he had bought earlier.
Now that he thought of it he wasn't exactly sure why he bought the gummies. He usually gets them but he wasn't that hungry lately.
Maybe I'll just give them to Ned.
He had now entered school and Ned and Mj were there waiting for him near his locker.
"Hey dude!" Ned called out.
"What's up dude." Peter said with a smile plastered on his face.
"I know school just started but I bought a new Lego set! You wanna come to my house after school and build it?" Ned asked.
"I can't go."
Ned and MJ gave him a confused look.
"Why?" MJ asked.
"Yeah dude.. May always lets you go to my house."
Peter felt his eyes stinging as they started to water at the mention of May. This is the second time she's been mentioned, he can't hold it in anymore. He gives them a quick "I need to go." And heads to the restroom.
He heads into a stall and closes the door behind him as he starts to silently cry. Breathing heavily in a panic manner.
Why did it hurt so much when they mentioned her. He felt so hopeless.. so sad.. so angry. Why did this happen to him? Why did it have to happen to May?
Why
He needed to focus on something else. His nails dug onto the skin of his palms. Dragging them to his wrist.
The pain was distracting. He scratched his fore arms, leaving red marks all over his arm and hands. If he doesn't hurt himself he can't be even with all the people he has hurt. Everyone he has loved has been hurt. His parents, May and Ben, he's been hurting his friends by leaving them clueless to what's happening with him. He feels guilty.
But now he doesn't have to right? If he hurts himself they'll be even. We'll be even.
He calmed himself down. He sniffled as his tears began to dry. Then he realized it smelled weird in the stall. It smells like a skunk in here.
He stood up and felt dazed. His hand held onto the handle on the stall. Was it foggy in here or was it just the tears in his eyes? He rubbed his eyes.
It's.. smoke? Oh god is there a fire in here?!
He tried to take a step forward and he felt extremely weird. He has never felt like this. Then his eyes widen.
It doesn't smell like skunk... It smells like weed! Oh god have I been inhaling this for the past fifteen minutes?
The smell was coming from the stall next to him. There were kids smoking next to him the whole time. He's getting second hand high.
I gotta get out of here..
He walks out of the stall very dazed. And he washes his hands in the sink, looking at the mirror. His eyes were red. He wasn't sure if it was because he was crying or because he might be a little high right now.
Quickly he dried his hands and left out of there.
I can't go to class. They'll suspend me. I smell like pure smoke! He thought to himself.
This was going to be the first time he ever skipped a class ever in school. He figured he was going to skip the first period only. He can tell Miss Celia that there was a substitute and that they probably didn't see him raise his hand during roll. Yeah, that's a good excuse. He smiled. He felt kind of relieved for the first time in a while..
It was the end of the day. He still couldn't believe what had happened in the morning. He couldn't even believe he skipped school for that reason. At least he turned in his intern form to his teacher.
Peter avoided Ned and MJ for the rest of the day after that and now he had to walk out the gates by himself. Until he saw Ned heading his way.
"Peter! Why weren't you talking to us all day?" Ned asked.
Peter tried to come up with an excuse. But he really couldn't. And to be honest he really didn't know why he avoided them all day. That was kind of unnecessary and he now realizes that.
"I don't know." Peter uttered out looking down at his busted shoes.
Ned had a sad expression on his face.
"Are you okay?"
Peter lifted up his head.
"To be honest, I don't know." Peter said quietly.
"It's okay not to be okay, Peter. We all go through stuff." Ned said in a comforting manner, "it's up to you if you want to tell me what's going on with you. I just want you to know I'm here for you."
Peter felt his eyes start to water. No. No. No. I can't cry.
"Thank you.. I'll keep that in mind." Peter said giving Ned a fake little smile.
Ned smiled back, "You're welcome, Peter. See you tomorrow, Bye!" Ned walked away.
Guilt rushed over him like he was submerged in it just because he lied to Ned. Why was he doing this to himself?
Peter arrived to the group home and Miss Celia was no where to be found.
"Hello, Peter! Miss Celia is working over time so I made us all food." Lainy said smiling at Peter.
Peter smiled back at her, "Oh alright." He threw his backpack on the floor next to the front door where the others had placed them and sat down on the table with them.
Everyone started eating. It was nice without Miss Celia sitting and judging every movement we made.
"So how was everyone's day today?" The oldest one asked.
"It was great! I had art today and I painted flowers." Haisley said happily.
"Mine was great too!" Jaime said.
"Mine too." Peter said quietly.
"That's good to hear you all had a good day today." Lainy said.
The food was actually appetizing today compared to Miss Celia's mystery flavor plates.
"So Peter how are you doing at school?" Lainy questioned.
"I'm doing good."
"Are you a straight A student?"
"Yeah, I guess you can say that."
"What's your favorite subject?" Haisley chimed in.
"Well, I really like math and science." Peter said shyly, he hasn't been used to so many questions all at once.
"That's cool! I love art!" Haisley exclaimed.
"Art is a good subject too." Jaime said nodding.
"The food is soooo good!" Haisley blurted with food in her mouth.
"Ew! Close your mouth!" Jaime giggled.
"Don't get used to it. You know how Miss Celia is." Lainy said rolling her eyes at Haisley's goofiness.
"Does Miss Celia usually work over time?" Peter asked.
"Unfortunately, no. She only does it when she wants to get something expensive." The older one said.
"Last time she bought a designer bag." Jaime said, "She should spend her money on something more useful."
"Like on cooking lessons." Peter uttered.
Jaime and Haisley laughed. Lainy let out a chuckle. Peter was a little shocked they laughed, he didn't even realize what he said was funny, he was just stating facts. Her food was horrendous.
"That's so true!" Haisley laughed.
"She always makes the blandest foods ever." Jaime said.
Peter wished he could get use to this instead.
They eventually finished eating and they cleaned up the table and washed the dishes. The house was really clean by the time Miss Celia came home.
Everyone was sitting around the couch watching TV when Miss Celia walked through the door.
"Hello, children. You guys did a good job while I wasn't here." Miss Celia said.
"Thanks." Lainy replied.
"Now, go to your rooms." She instructed.
Peter sighed as he got up. He really didn't like Miss Celia's presence. It made him feel uncomfortable, like she was going to yell at him for breathing incorrectly or something stupid.
As he went up to his room he wondered how long it would take him to get an acceptance letter from Stark Industries. He hoped his teacher had already mailed his Intern form to the tower already.
He sat down on his bed. He needed soemthing to distract himself from all the problems he had going on at the moment. His mind kept going back to two things. The first one being about how May died and left him alone and hopeless so early. The second one was about what happened in the morning. If he was going to be honest, that feeling of being second hand high wasn't so bad.
Come to think of it, the scratching wasn't the only thing that relaxed him. It was the smoke. It made him feel dazed. Like it wasn't real but in a good way. In a way that maybe this bad life wasn't real and that in that moment real life felt nice for just a bit. He wished he could get that feeling back.
What if he can? What am I thinking? I can't just smoke weed because I want to. What if I can't stop? His train of thought brok as he heard his phone ring.
Taking his phone out his pocket, the caller Id read Ned. Ned was calling him. What could Ned want right now?
Peter answered the phone.
"Hello?" Peter called out.
"Hey, Peter. I just wanted to know how you were doing." Ned asked.
"Oh.. I'm doing well. What about you."
"I'm fine. Well, I'm just kind of worried about you. Me and MJ are."
Peter felt like his heart had dropped.
"It's just that you haven't answered our calls in a while and I wanted to know how you were actually doing." Ned spoke in a gentle tone.
Peter looked at his recents. He had a bunch of notifications. He just hadn't noticed because his phone has been on do not disturb. He felt like an asshole.
"I'm so sorry. I've been kind of busy you know?" Peter said. It wasn't really a lie, he has been busy.
"That's totally okay. Can I just ask you something, Peter?"
Peter hesitated before he said, "Yeah, go ahead."
"Why did you just leave off in the morning?" Ned asked.
Peter felt a lump form in his throat.
"I- I dont know what you're talking about."
"Oh, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." Ned replied noticing the pain in Peters voice as he spoke.
"Just.. call me when you need company Peter. I don't know what's going on through your head right now. But it would be helpful if you give me a piece of your mind so I can help you, ya know?" Ned said comfortingly, "I'm, worried about you Peter. I care about you."
Peter felt streams of tears on his cheek. His hand reached to his face, he didn't even realize when he started crying. He doesn't realize many things.
"Okay." Peter said.
"I'm here for you. Call when you need to. I have to go now, bye Peter." Ned said
"Bye."
Peter started sobbing. He dissolved into his bed like a baby as his ugly cried filled the room. He was such a bad friend. Ned was so caring and kind towards him and he has been the opposite.
My friends have only been caring about me
While here I am, only caring about myself
Not only at I hurting them but I'm hurting myself
I just can't seem to stop
He woke up in the middle of the night with his arms full of scratches. They were bleeding a bit so he got up from his bed and went to the bathroom. He needed to stop the bleeding somehow.
There must be a Med kit around here somewhere. Peter said searching the bathroom cabinets. He hopes he doesn't have to use toilet paper on his arms.
Something caught his eye. A roll of bandages!
He rolled up his fore arms with the bandages. Hoping to stop the bleeding. He probably should have cleaned them first. Whoops.
He walked back to bed when he realized he was kind of thirsty.
If he were to go down stairs for a glass of water Miss Celia would go nuts. Unless she didn't notice..
Peter opened his door and started to walk as slow and as quietly as possible down the stairs.
Once he made it to the kitchen he grabbed glass and poured himself some water. He gulped the whole glass of water in one go. He poured himself another glass. He didn't know why he was quenched in thirst.
Sipping his glass of water he went up the stairs quietly. Until he heard a door open. His eyes widened, it was Miss Celia's door.
"Who's there?" Miss Celia called out, "is that you, Peter?"
Peter stepped out, "Yes, Miss." he said ashamed.
Miss Celia looked furious, "Peter, you aren't supposed to come out your room until dawn." She whisper yelled.
"I was just thirsty.." Peter said.
Miss Celia raised her hand and slapped Peter across the face. His eyes started to water.
"Don't talk back to me, child! I'm the adult and I made a rule you just broke. Go back to your room." She said taking Peters glass of water out of his hands and pushing him away.
Peter quickly ran to his room crying. He held his hand in his face. That slap was definitely going to leave a mark..