Jennie had tried to call Lisa but all she got was her voicemail. She left her a message to call her and kept on apologizing for how their dinner went. She called Hae-in and asked her to stay just a little longer. Since Lisa wasn't answering she figured she would drive by her house or her studio to talk to the woman. Please don't run away again. She kept repeating on her head.
She stopped outside the studio and noticed that all the lights were out. She then drove to Lisa's house. She got out of the car and knocked on the door. She waited for fifteen minutes. She sent her another message saying that she was worried about her and begged her call. After waiting for ten more minutes she finally gave up. She needed to get back home to Eun-woo.
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Jennie woke the next morning after a few hours of sleep. She had been up most of the night hoping Lisa would call. She fell asleep around 3am still not hearing from her. She turned on her bed and grabbed her phone from the nightstand. It was only 5am. She hoped Lisa would've called. Instead she saw a simple text from her. Check your door. She shot up out of bed, running towards the front door. She opened it and found a small shoe box on the ground. She took it back to her room and sat on her bed. Her heart was beating wildly as she stared at the box wondering what it could be. Taking a deep breath, she opened the box. There were photos, several flashdrives and a piece of paper. She picked up the paper and read the letter.
Jennie,
I'm sorry I left and didn't call or text you back last night. I was at my studio working on something for you. I didn't mean for you to worry.
I want you to go through this stuff. I'm not very good at expressing myself verbally but I think this will get the message across. Start with the pictures. I look at them whenever I feel down and want to remember the great times we had. Then there are the flashdrives. I know there are several of them but they were all made for you Jennie. Some are songs I made for you, the videos are for you as well. They're all labeled by number, the videos. Do me favor and watch all of the videos first before you contact me. You can skip the songs for now. If you listen to all of them it would take you weeks. I don't exactly know how you'll react so just keep in mind this is very difficult for me to put myself out ther like this. It's why it's taken me so long. I won't contact you. I want to give you all the time you need. So if you never want to see me again ai understand. If you do and still want to come over tonight then I'll be home.
Lisa
Jennie picked up the pictures. All of them were of her and Lisa. She smiled at each one of them as she looked and remembered the occassion it was taken. One was of them when they were on the car, they were on their way back to their dorms after finishing their evaluation and someone had taken a picture of her and Lisa, sleeping, cuddled up to each other. Another was one of them clearly drunk and another with both of them squeezing into a kitchen cabinet. She laughed as she remebered that night.
"Hey Lisa! I bet you ten bucks you can't fit in this cabinet!" Jisoo yelled from the kitchen. She and Rosé both rolled their eyes. They all knew Lisa would never turn down a bet. A few seconds later Lisa came running.
"Challenge accepted!" She looked at the empty cabinet. "Oh this would be easy." She said and started to climb into the cabinet. It was plenty big enough for Lisa to get in there and actually be comfortable. "Ha! See? I told you!" She held out her hand. Jisoo laughed and handed her the money.
"I know. I just wanted to see you in the cabinet. And you would have never done it if I asked. I know you can't say no to a bet." Jisoo said as she took a picture. "You can get out now."
"Nah, I think I'm going to stay. It's kind of comfortable." Jennie who had been watching from the living room got up and came into the kitchen.
"Lisayah, I'm cold. Come out and cuddle me please?"
"Sorry Jennie unnie, this is my home now." Lisa said and Jennie pouted at her. "You can get in here if you want." She said and Jennie giggled. Soon both girls were somehow fitting in the cabinet, Jennie sitting in between Lisa's legs and Lisa's long arms wrapped aound her waist. Jennie laid her head on her shoulders and let out a small sigh, both of them lost in the embrace that they didn't notice Jisoo taking a picture of them.
She then picked up one of the flashdrives. She popped it in her laptop and began looking throught the numerous files. She clicked on the only video file on the drive. She was surprised to see Lisa.
"Okay so this is for you Jennie. Just bear with me because I'm really nervous. You do that to me, you make me nervous Jennie. This is why I'm recording this instead of talking to you. You're my bestfriend. You're always there to bring me out of my room when I've spent the entire weekend working on a dance routine. You're there to let me talk it out whenever Rosé and I had one of our silly fights. You always brighten my day. Just being around you puts me in a good mood. But you also frighten me. My heart skips a beat whenevwr you look at me with those warm brown eyes. My stomach does flip flops when you smile at me. And everytime you touch me I swear my heart is going to beat out of my chest. You see, this past year I've realized that I have actually fallen in love with you. I tried to stop, tried to ignore these feelings but every time I see you they just got stronger. And I don't know how you feel about me, I just hope that even if you don't feel the same way that we can still be friends. Oops! Gotta go Jisoo unnie is calling me.
The video ended and Jennie was in tears. Why didn't she she ever give it to me? She thought as the tears continued to fall. Lisa had told her to watch the videos first so she quickly plugged thw second flashdrive. Her heart was thumping in her chest. Her adrenaline was running high. All she wanted to do was go to Lisa. But she asked her to to watch all of the videos first so that's what she was going to do. She clicked on the video file and once again Lisa's face popped up on the screen.
"So we just finished our evaluations. And I promised myself that if we did good, I was going to tell you how I feel. I almost did it as soon as we finished our performance. We were on stage and you hugged me and everything felt right. But as I was gaining the courage to tell you Rosé tackled us both to the ground. (She laughed) So here I am making another video with the long list of songs that remind me of you. Yeah I made one of these last year that I've yet to to give it you. I will though, I'll give them both of you and hope you feel tha same way about me.
The next few videos went the same way except Lisa seemed sadder. By their third year as a group she had started seriously seeing Kai. She could see in the video how much it changed Lisa. Her demeanor was heavier. She could see the hurt in her eyes and wondered how she didn't see before. Then she watched the one that she assumed Lisa recorded on her wedding day, since she was still in her bride's maid dress. In fact it looked like she had recorded it from her phone while sitting in her car. She could see the fresh tears that streaked Lisa's face and her heart broke as she watched.
"So you just got married. You looked more beautiful than ever, which is really saying something. You were walking down the aisle and I wished that it was me standing there instead of him. I even had this thought that you were looking at me as you neared the altar. But then it must have been my imagination. You look so perfect today. And it may suck that you're with someone else but as long as you're happy, I'm okay with that. That's all that matters to me.
At this point Jennie was sobbing and didn't even try to stop the tears. I was looking at her. I wished she would have said something, I wished I would have said something. Everything could have been so different...but then I wouldn't have Eun-woo. She thought. She couldn't regret anything with that little boy. She went through the rest of the videos, it seemed to become just like a video diary but they were all addressed to Jennie. Saying how much she missed her, an explanation why a song reminded Lisa of her, or just a moment of the day when a thought or a reminder pf Jennie would pop in her head. It took her an hour to watch all the videos, she was now on the last drive. She took a deep breath and clicked the first video.
"So I guess I drunk called you last night. I don't even know how I got your number. I'm guessing probably from Jisoo or Rose's phone. After four years, it wa so good to hear your voice. I miss you so much. I've thought about you so much over the last years, it's not even funny how much I still think about you. (She laughed) Hell I have several flashdrives just to tell you how much. (She took a deep breath and seemed to think about something) Truth is I'm nervous about seeing you. I've been miserable without you in my life. Sure my career took off but I'd throw it all awat just for a chance to be with you.
The tears Jennie had reined in a few minutes ago had returned. She had never thought anyone could care this much about her. She played the next one.
"Just went to the zoo with you and Eun-woo...and it was the best day of my life. I fell in love with him right away. He reminds me so much of you. Even after all these years without seeing you I'm still as in love with you as I have ever been. And now I'm home in an empty house and all I can think about is that how much I want to come home to the two of you everyday for the rest of my life. Except you're with someone else now. A woman. And I can't help but think, if I never left, would I have a chance with you?
The last video. By the time stamp she saw that it was recorded last night after Lisa had left the restaurant. She was wearing the same clothes and she noticed the she was in her office, she was playing a soft melody in her piano as she started speaking.
So, this is my last entry. Hopefully you're still watching this after I drop this off and I haven't scared the hell out of you yet. I'm sorry I left you at dinner but as soon as I saw her lips touch yours I had to leave. You've asked me plenty of times why I disappeared from your life. Well if you haven't figured it out yet, it's because it kills me to see you with anyone. But I want you to know that I'm never disappearing from you again. You and Eun-woo are the center of my whole world. I'd do anything for the both of you. I'll swallow my pride and put on a smile and pretend that I don't hate Somi. I promise. But I want you to listen to this song. It's one of the songs I wrote for you a year after I left. I called it Homesick. I...I hope you like it.
Here where the sky's falling
I'm covered in blue
I'm running and I'm crawling
Fighting for you
When the rain stops rhen darling, what will I do?
And I know I go all in, but why do I?
You mave me a reason something to believe in
I know, I know, I know
You give me a meaning, something I can breathe in
I know, I know, I know
It's a bittersweet feeling
Longing and I'm leaving
I go, I go, I go
But I wish I was there with you
Oh I wish I was there with you
There's a crack in my window
A bird in my room
Angels all over that watch over you
When I'm walking on water
All my dreams have come true
Still, nothing means nothing
Without you, you
You give me a reason something to believe i
I know, I know, I know
You give me a meaning something I can breathe in
I know, I know, I know
It's a bittersweet feeling
Longing and I'm leaving
I go, I go, I go
Tell my heart to lie but I know deep inside it's true
That I wish I was there with you
Oh, I wish I was there with you
(Her eyes were closed as she continued playing the piano.)
You give me a reason something to believe i
I know, I know, I know
You give me a meaning something I can breathe in
I know, I know, I know
It's a bittersweet feeling
Longing and I'm leaving
I go, I go, I go
Tell my heart to lie but I know deep inside it's true
That I wish I was there with you
Oh, I wish I was there with you
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A/N: I've always loved this song by Dua Lipa so I decided to use it in this story. Please let me know what you thought about the story so far. Thanks guys!!